Work Of Art: The Unveiling Part 6

"Yes, you must be nervous to see him. I think you were brave to come."

"Brave or stupid, I guess, depending on how Max reacts to my being here."

"Stupid, never...it may not be easy to work things out, but I think it's important that you do. Please sit down. Would you like something to drink? Tea? Water?"

"No, thanks, I just had some coffee. So, how's he doing anyway?"

"Well, he's making progress. He was in quite a state when I picked him up in Oxnard. Evidently, Max's been on a downward spiral for a while, but he was trying to hide it from everyone. It's a hard lesson when you finally achieve everything you thought you wanted and realize that you're unhappy...that your life feels empty."

I nod. Now I have to wonder what signs I missed that Max was in worse shape than I realized.

"Then the unfortunate way he handled his complicated feelings pushed him over the edge. The night he walked out of his house, he was convinced he'd lost you, or maybe I should say, your friends.h.i.+p, for good.

"As hard as this has been on both of you, I believe that the best thing that could've happened to Max was you, Ava. You've made him realize that there can be so much more."

I want to ask her what she means by that cryptic so much more comment, but a door closes somewhere in the back of the house. Ann turns and listens carefully to the fridge open and shut and footsteps moving away.

"He must be going to take his shower," she says, but the look on her face belies her earlier words. There's an awkward pause. He couldn't have missed my car parked in front of the house.

To divert the conversation, I ask Ann about her photography and the work hanging in her living room. She explains that all but one of the images are from other photographers she's collected over the years. Some are the work of friends of hers, some from people she's admired from afar.

I walk over to one in particular that's caught my eye. It's a rear view of a couple leaning on a railing and overlooking the scenery. A sweeping view of Paris lies before them with the Eiffel Tower rising tall above the enchanting city.

The couple's dressed in clothes I would estimate are from the fifties, and their body language suggests they're in love. It's a nontraditional composition with the couple low and to the side of the frame. It's brilliant.

As I gaze at the image, Ann says, "Don't you love that... just the idea of being in love in Paris? That's one of my favorite images." She sighs.

"Have you been to Paris?" I ask, getting the feeling that she's traveled extensively.

"Yes, a number of times. You?"

I shake my head.

"You must go...every artist must go. I think Lizzy took Max the first time when he was nine. As a creative person, a writer, you'll find it incredibly inspiring. You'll be changed forever."

"I can imagine," I say with wide eyes.

"I'll tell Max that he should take you."

I laugh uncomfortably. "Somehow, I don't think that will happen right now."

"No, but maybe one day."

I feel awkward, so I ask her about her work. She's semiretired now and no longer shoots commercial jobs, but she still shoots personal commissions and is working on several long-range projects. She even sells a portion of her images on her website. Her most serious fine art work is in a number of photography galleries such as Fahey Klein in L.A., Verve in Santa Fe and Marian Goodman in New York. I'm very impressed. Creative talent must run deep in Max's family.

We've been chatting for a while when I realize Max's shower must be long over. I feel ridiculous, knowing I shouldn't have taken this chance. Ann tips her head again, listening.

"It seems it was a mistake to come. I think I'd better go." I stand, feeling sick to my stomach, and the desire to flee builds inside me.

"No! Please, before you leave, let me talk to him and find out what's going on. He's probably just shocked and wants to be calm so he can say the right things." She jumps up and it feels like she's grasping at straws.

"Well, you can try. I'll wait a couple more minutes, but then I'm going to go."

She quickly exits the room.

After about five minutes, I'm a wreck. Why did I come here? What did I think I was going to accomplish other than more humiliation? I'm about to make my escape when Ann comes back-alone.

I stand. "Well, I almost forgot that I brought a copy of his book. He might like to read it. Why don't I go get it out of my car, and then I'll be on my way."

"He thinks I made you come here. He doesn't believe you came of your own free will. But I know he wants to see you, Ava."

"Did he say that?"

"No, but it was clear as day the way he asked about you-the look in his eyes. Honestly, he's a nervous wreck. He just needs to get a handle on his emotions."

That just doesn't mean much when he still isn't acknowledging my presence after I've come all this way. Besides, I'm a nervous wreck too. I move for the front door, defeated. "I'll get the book. It'll just take a sec."

I walk toward my car and unlock the doors with the keyless remote. I'm only steps away from the car when I hear my name being called.

"Ava!" There's anguish in his voice and it's edged with panic.

"Please don't leave, Ava!"

I turn slowly to see Max rus.h.i.+ng toward me, and just the sight of him takes my breath away. His eyes are electric as they frantically search my face for answers. He's even more stunning than I remember him with his wet tousled hair and heightened color from his run. Barefoot and wearing soft faded jeans, he frantically b.u.t.tons an old plaid s.h.i.+rt as he moves. I see a glimpse of his strong defined chest before he pulls the s.h.i.+rt closed.

The look in his eyes tells me everything I've wanted to know and more.

He's in front of me...the most tragically beautiful man I've ever seen. And even though the pain, disappointment and longing are still weights in his pockets sinking him into the earth, his hands and heart are open.

"Ava," he whispers as he reaches for me.

In that sacred moment, every doubt about coming to see him evaporates. This is exactly where I should be.

"It's okay, Max. I'm here...I'm finally here," I say softly, before I sink into his open arms.

Chapter Six / Starting Over.

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?

~ Anonymous "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he says softly, as he wraps his arms even tighter around me. He takes a deep breath, and his heart thunders in my ear that's pressed against his chest.

My eyes fill with tears, and the surge of emotion takes me by surprise. This wasn't part of my master plan...No crying, Ava, I tell myself sternly. I take a deep breath and steady myself.

"Sorry?" I finally ask. I'm curious where his list of "reasons to be sorry" will start.

"Well, first I'm sorry that you were leaving and thinking I didn't want to see you."

"Yes, any longer and I would've been gone."

He tightens his hug again and my breath catches.

"It was hard because I wanted to see you too much. Day after day, I've wanted to see you, but once you were here..."

"Well, I'm not going to bite."

"You promise?" The edges of his mouth turn up just a bit.

I wiggle so that his grasp loosens and then step out of the hug.

I look up. "Why don't we sit down and talk?"

He gestures toward the path along the side yard, and as I walk with him, the long gra.s.s softly tickles my ankles. When we reach the backyard, we approach the love seat swing perched under a large tree and sit down. He gently rocks the swing as I look around the backyard, taking everything in.

"I got your letter," I finally say.

"Is that why you came?"

"I suppose. I know you've been having a rough time, and it's made me sad and confused. There've been so many misunderstandings between us. I thought if you could see me...that I'm all right and I don't hate you or harbor any ill will...that it might help you."

He flinches. "So you drove all this way to help me?" He looks stunned.

"Yes, I did. I care about you, Max...despite everything, I do."

His head falls to his chest and the bright expression on his face fades.

"What?" I ask.

"I don't want you here because you feel sorry for me, Ava."

"Okay. Why would you hope I'm here?"

"I guess because you missed me and really wanted to see me. Have you thought about me at all since I've been gone?"

"Of course, I've thought about you a lot. I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out what happened...what went wrong."

His eyebrows are tightly knitted together. "Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer it. It's not like I deserve an answer."

I nod.

"Dylan told me you've continued to see Jonathan, even though the book project is over. Is that true?"

d.a.m.n it, Dylan! Why did he tell Max that? I nod.

"Why, Ava? Are you really into him?"

I push off with my legs, setting the swing in motion again. I don't really want to have this conversation with Max. If I tell him my feelings for Jonathan have cooled off, he might see it as an open invitation, and neither of us is ready for that. I decide to speak in a general way about my feelings.

"I guess what I like is the way he treats me, like I'm special, and smart...beautiful too. It feels really good to have someone treat me like that, and I think it came along at a time when I needed it."

His eyes narrow and his jaw tenses. I imagine there's jealousy permeating through his skin as he sighs and leans forward.

"Well, you deserve to be treated like that. I'm sorry I didn't make you feel that way."

I smile sadly. "Do you remember the day we met when you swept me out of the show and took me to that little restaurant? I didn't realize at the time you were just flirting like you do with a lot of women, and for those precious couple of hours, I felt very special. You made me feel like I was the only woman in the world."

He smiles. "It wasn't just flirting...I was completely taken with you."

"Really? Because when we left the restaurant, you abandoned me on the curb after you saw some model you knew. I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach. That was when I decided you could never be the one for me."

He lifts himself off the swing and takes several steps forward. I can see the tension in his body as he makes tight fists and curses to himself. Exasperated, he runs his hands through his hair and paces for a while. Finally, he stops and sits on the swing again.

"See how I kept f.u.c.king things up for myself? That was so stupid. She didn't mean anything to me."

"Could have fooled me," I say glumly.

"I just remember feeling intense and overwhelmed with you. She was a diversion."

"Really? Well, you definitely lost your appeal after that."

He nods. "I guess, deep down, I'd always felt you should never be with a guy like me...a guy with my past. You deserve so much more."

"Well, I don't know about that. I'm not perfect, you know."

"But that f.u.c.ked up scene with Sheila..."

"Yes, I wish I hadn't come by that night. I think that will always haunt me."

"Well, if it's any comfort, I'd give anything to go back in time and remove that night from both our memories. It was h.e.l.lish to begin with, but when I realized you were a witness to my moment in h.e.l.l, I just wanted to f.u.c.king die."

"Okay, we're in agreement there. But, Max, as bad as it was, it's not like you were cheating on your girlfriend. Other than getting caught up in a moment at the studio, we've only ever just been friends."

"No, Ava. You're wrong, because I was cheating on the way I feel about you. I was lying to myself and trying to avoid what my heart was telling me."

His forthrightness surprises me. It's almost he's like a different Max...a man stripped of his bravado and manufactured persona...a man who senses he may never have the thing he wants most and is trying so hard to hold onto whatever he can.

I drop my head to my chest, because I can't find the words to respond. I just don't know how to step forward.

Can he tell that I'm lost?

"Don't worry, Ava. I'm not going to hara.s.s you. I can only hope that, when I'm doing better, you'll give me a chance to show you who I really am inside."