Torn: Crushed Part 3

f.u.c.k.

Should I stay or should I go? That was a gamble, because it was getting too personal. Then again, as much as I hated myself for even wanting to taste a little of paradise, the temptation of having him close was too hard to resist.

"If I stay"-I licked my lips as I tried leveling a glare in his direction-"promise me you won't pester me about my family. You're going to leave me be to party and mingle."

I wasn't sure how I managed to say those words without having to breathe much, but I did. My breathing pattern was erratic, and I prayed to G.o.d that he would take a step back-something-before I fell faint at his feet. f.u.c.king s.h.i.+t.

Something pa.s.sed across his face. I wasn't sure if it was amus.e.m.e.nt or if he was taking me seriously, but before I could protest, he gave me his answer.

"I promise," he barely whispered without his eyes leaving my flushed face. "I promise I'll at least try very hard to leave you alone."

Hmm, was he trying to be sarcastic? Though he promised something, he didn't truly mean it. Why was that? He was confusing me. The more I thought about it, the harder it became to understand it. It was best if I left it alone, or I would dig myself a hole so big I wouldn't ever come out of it.

"You ... promise to try," I reiterated.

He cleared his throat, not backtracking. "That's right," he rasped out, eyeing me closely.

We both knew that was a lie. He was being selfish for reasons I didn't know.

"Okay, I guess that's good enough." Apart from his friends, I was his go-to person, his secret go-to person. He would normally call at three in the morning or whenever he was done partying. I supposed it was his way of unloading all of his burden. I was that person-that girl-the one who adored him, but he had never seen because I was always available for him. As much as I hated to be in that position, I couldn't say no when he needed me around. It was hard to decline his request.

Chapter Four.

There was no other choice than to go through with it even though I had a lot of concerns and reservations about my decision-making skills. Then again, I supposed I had never been in the position where he had actually begged me to stay. Also, this was the first party we had been in where Lindsey and Trista weren't here, because they had prior engagements they couldn't get out of.

Looking around, I couldn't spot Carter, Brody, or Cooper around the crowd. a.s.suming they were busy handling their own business with their other female counterparts, I squashed the budding jealousy each time I thought of Brody cozying it up with someone else. He wasn't mine, and for me to try and forget about him, though hard, I had to at least try being available to other guys who had less attachments, one who didn't have any connections to any of my best friends.

Geared with utmost determination not to sulk about my unrequited love, I thought of better ideas to distract myself, starting with the lively surroundings and the crowd who didn't seem to have a care in the world. Deciding to dive in the pool amongst the happy crowd, I breezily situated myself on a huge, sprinkled donut floatie, armed with sungla.s.ses, a bottle of Corona with a thin slice of lime, a cheesy grin, and nothing else.

The sun was setting low, and before I knew it, college kids started flowing into the party, as well. It was how it usually went when someone was throwing a house party around this part of town-eventually the word spread around, and unknown people started joining in without proper invitation. Santa Barbara was highly known across the country as one of the wildest raging party universities, and weekends usually highlighted that very issue.

Just like any normal party, hot men came flooding in, one delicious six-pack treat after the other. Summer was a serious threat to one's hungry eyes, most especially for people who were bent on trying to get over someone they loved.

One guy in particular caught my attention. Well, I supposed it was hard not to since he kept smas.h.i.+ng against my fun-inspired, sprinkled donut.

The delicious treat in question had light brown hair with au natural, sun-streaked highlights; an outrageous display of chiseled chest; a pa.s.sable smile; and a seemingly good-natured personality from where I was studying him. He was throwing a football in the pool; hence, the constant donut b.u.mping. Not bad if I had to admit.

He isn't up to Brody's hotness factor level, but he's good enough, I thought as my eyes zeroed in on him, gazing up at my inflatable thrown.

"Are you planning to come out of your seat, little Miss Princess?" he finally asked after his mild attempts in trying to engage me.

He was cheesy to say the least. Not all men were born equals; that was for d.a.m.n sure.

"Who're you calling little, huh?" I raised my brow at him, not particularly wanting to intimidate yet wanting to gauge his tolerance for b.i.t.c.hiness because, well, I couldn't stand wimps. "If you're trying to flirt with me, you need to do a better job, 'cause you suck big f.u.c.king time, Mister Whatever."

"My name's Rob, Miss Potty Mouth Suns.h.i.+ne." He gave an amused laugh, making him seem friendlier and less of a target to my rather sour att.i.tude.

I couldn't help smiling. The man was as cheesy and corny as they went, but he still kept trying. Besides, the guy had sarcastic wit, and I had to give him props for that at least.

Looking around, he made a frown, appearing puzzled. "I don't see you with any friends around... Are you new, or have they all abandoned you?"

Still peering down at him, I didn't thaw just yet at his rather forward behavior. "Why? What's it to you?"

"I'm trying to see if I should do the same, if they did decide to leave you, that is. And if you're new ... Well, I can potentially be your first friend." He was teasing with an infectious grin, and I couldn't help feeling at ease with him. There was always something special about a guy who could win a woman's smile. It was one thing to make someone's heart palpitate at the sight of you, but winning them through smiles and laughter? There was always room for that, as well.

"That's too generous of you. Are you sure you want to make such a big sacrifice?" Copying his mocking manner, I bottomed out my drink before I daringly sucked out the lime and had my tongue push it back in the bottle, knowing all too well he was taking in everything I did.

"I think I just might." He cleared his throat before pinning me down with his eager, determined, hazel eyes that left me wondering what he thought of me. "So, which one are you? New around here or your friends left you hanging all by yourself?"

Since he was someone I didn't truly know, lying wouldn't hurt, would it? "You're right; I'm kind of the new chick around town. I'm originally from the east coast, but I had to get away from parents and all that. You get my drift."

The side of his lip lifted for a cute smirk before resorting back to his flagrantly flirty self. "Cool, cool. I can dig that."

Just when he and I had started to truly converse, a man dressed in an all-out Hawaiian outfit hollered at him, getting his immediate attention. "Yo, man, you in?" he bellowed with both of his hands cupping his mouth before he nodded in Rob's direction.

He gave me a thoughtful look before directing his gaze towards his friend. "I'll skip. You guys go on ahead. I'm chill." He saluted them, watching them from afar as they exited the pool area then strolled around the garden to G.o.d knew where.

Prying into anyone's business wasn't really my thing, unless of course it entailed anything Brody. Then that would be a different story, but apart from him, other people's business didn't interest me. Somehow, though, I felt inclined to press him about what his friend wanted from him.

"What are you skipping out on?"

He made a sly smile, carefree. "Guy stuff."

If there was a typical guy move, this was it-acting all secretive and s.h.i.+t-and I had to admit, I was a sucker for it.

"Care to elaborate on that?"

"They were asking if I wanted to hit."

My ears instantly perked up. "Hit what? Like a joint?"

He paused, weighing me on how trustworthy I'd be. "Uh ... sort of."

Since we were on the subject, I wasn't one to let go of it easily. I needed to know more about their shenanigans.

"Sort of like what?"

His smile, though it still remained, wasn't the same as before. There was a serious tone about him.

"It's similar to that, but a little harder."

Most every guy I knew had a medical marijuana card, so weed was practically abundant around here. But tougher stuff? Not around my friends. We were, after all, in high school, so we were limited on what we could score.

"Can I see how they do it?" I was thinking of all sorts of things it could be. It wasn't necessarily because it was forbidden or frowned upon, but because of curiosity and an odd fascination of substances that altered the mind. When people smoked weed, I would sometimes look at them as if they were a specimen I was studying, transfixed at their erratic behavior or random choices while under the influence.

He didn't seem fazed by my random question. It was as if he had heard it asked all day long. "You sure it's cool with you?"

"Truly cool, Rob, or I wouldn't be asking." College people did things differently than people in high school. Come to think of it, I wanted to grow up and leave my parents' home just like them so I could do whatever the h.e.l.l I wanted without having to deal with the backlash of my parents' ceaseless disapproval of me.

It didn't take long for the both of us to come out of the pool area. With great caution, I even came out of it without having to splash my entire body and wetting my hair in the process. I could deal with a wet bottom, but dripping wet hair? Not so much. Well, not when I was trying to look pretty and secure a man for the night.

"Where're we headin'?" I asked the moment we started to walk into the congested crowd of people stalling in the patio area, boozing and smooching it up.

He paused, looking back at me, before he reached out to touch the back of my shoulder, guiding me in his direction. "They're most likely out in the parking lot," he almost yelled into my ear, informing me of his hunch as Iggy Azalea's latest hit song blasted through the speakers.

"Brave men, doing it out in the open." I smirked, wondering what his friends were truly up to and how they were going about it.

Our amusing banter didn't seem to slow down as he became too familiar with me by sliding his hand lower, holding the side of my hips before his lips brushed against my ear. "We're not entirely that disrespectful to the homeowners. Besides, we hardly know who runs this party, anyway. We're just cras.h.i.+ng. "

I was sure Mister Brody there would not appreciate random people doing drugs in his home. He would go mental.

"Good call there, Rob," I whispered back to him as I got accustomed to his blatant flirtation. I was practicing, and it didn't hurt that I was starting with this fella.

"Amber!" My name was bellowed loudly from inside the house just as we almost hit the front door, garnering attention from the curious folks within close range.

d.a.m.n. He had to interfere just when the party was seriously about to start.

Chapter Five.

"Is that a boyfriend? Friend?" Rob pus.h.i.+ly inquired against my ear as we both spun around to face Brody.

"Friend." I made a tight-lipped smile when I faced Brody's not too happy countenance. In fact, I had never seen him that way-like he was really about to give me a lecture or something.

Throwing Rob a death stare before sending me one, as well, he didn't waste a second before he started barking out questions. "Where the f.u.c.k do you think you're going?"

I would normally brush his att.i.tude off, but there was something in Brody's eyes that made me think twice. It mattered to me that he knew I was okay, that he understood he didn't need to worry about me, because that was all this was-he was looking out for me, nothing more.

"Rob and I are meeting his friends right outside in the driveway. I'll be right back, okay?"

"Amber..." He looked like he was about to hurl me over his shoulder or something, but I stood my ground. My mind was already set on following through.

Reaching out to touch his shoulder, I gave him a pleading smile, hoping he would let me pa.s.s without much fuss. "I'll be right back, I promise." I silently begged while our eyes duked it out until I found him a little acquiescent. The moment I was a.s.sured he was going to let me do as I asked, I winked at him before softly tapping his cheek. "Thanks, babe."

I wasn't sure how I managed to function after seeing his not so pleased face, but Rob and I did emerge out of the front door, and I realized I had been holding my breath when my lungs expanded, hungry for air.

"He's not a happy man; that's for sure." Rob tried to play it off with a teasing tone.

Walking side by side, I merely shrugged. I wasn't ready to talk about my relations.h.i.+p with Brody, though. It was no one's business but mine. "I grew up with him. He's not so bad."

Done talking about Brody and anything in between, I c.o.c.ked my head to the side, wondering where his friends were. From the looks of things, there were a lot of people in the driveway, and parked cars stretched almost a mile away down the street. Frowning, I wondered who all these people were.

"So ... um ... Do you remember where your friends parked?" I wasn't sure if he was high or stoned as f.u.c.k. He didn't seem it, but those days, anyone could play it off well.

"I got you. No need to worry your pretty little head."

Sure enough, his group of friends that consisted of four men, not including us, were parked in their SUV with the back popped open and two stoned looking yet friendly men were lighting a joint while the other two were pa.s.sionately talking about a concert they had seen the other night. When they saw us approach, they didn't even stall their activities to greet us. They simply went on as if we weren't there until Rob lazily introduced me.

"You sure about this?" Rob addressed me in a serious manner. "'Cause, once you do, I mean, I'll be here if you guilt trip yourself. You know, s.h.i.+t happens, but there won't be any going back after this."

Did I look like a child who wasn't capable of making a d.a.m.n decision? Of course I knew there was no going back after this. I wasn't stupid. I went out with him for a reason, and that was that.

"Trust me, if there will be a guilt trip involved, you won't be the person I'd run to. So you're pretty much safe with me."

He shrugged, grinning. "Just sayin'. You look like a nice chick; just don't get hooked on things like these, okay? Partying and having fun with it is always cool and chill, but don't seek it out because you're bored and s.h.i.+t. I'm not down for that."

He was such a worrywart. Who would have thought?

"Thanks for the advice, but none needed," I a.s.sured him confidently. Let's face it; the only way of getting over an addiction was with another addiction as a distraction, so I wasn't going to pa.s.s this opportunity up. Besides, I was only going to be young once. Best I lived it to the fullest.

"You here to score some, babe?" The man who had hollered at Rob earlier gave me an inquisitive look.

When Rob answered for me, I gave him a smile just to indicate that I came in peace and had all the intentions of being a bad girl tonight. He basically liked me enough that he magically produced a paper plate with some scattered powder all over it.

Situating the thin plate on the trunk's platform, he then made two small lines that reminded me of powdery looking airstrips. Producing a white straw that was cut short, an inch and a half long, his willing friend then gave me the green light in a form of a curt nod, signaling I was good to take off.

Perhaps the alcohol in my system made me find amus.e.m.e.nt in these things, but h.e.l.l, life was already serious enough. If I had to take it any more seriously, I would end up crazy, so it was good to find some fun here and there, and right that instant, that was the best I could do. Maybe it would loosen me up and have me not caring so much about my parents.

Rob was rather enthusiastic about trying to show me how to do it like a champ. I basically shoved him to the side so I could do it my way. I had seen films and had an idea on how it was done. How hard could snorting this sugar be?

My thoughts momentarily seized as I slouched over and situated the plastic straw in my right nostril before lining up to the right snowy lane. Not giving my mind a chance to think, I sniffed as hard as I could, running the straw down the straight line, engulfing all of its powdery goodness.

Taking a moment as I took out the straw, I instantly felt the fiery burn that ran from my nose all the way to my brain then to my body. It was something I had never felt in my life, and I was electrified, petrified even. However, nothing prepared me for the immediate s.h.i.+ft of my emotional state. I could barely feel it, though.

d.a.m.n.

Just as Rob had said, I could seriously dig this.

"One more," I enthusiastically declared as I placed the straw to the other unused pa.s.sage and took the remaining line like a pro.

Again, everything intensified. The feel-good sensation was overwhelming, and I was ensnared. Big. f.u.c.king time.

"Can I have some more?"

Rob chuckled then patted my shoulder. "I think you're good for the night, donut princess. But, while you're letting it all cook in your system, let me have some of my own."

Watching him take four airstrips, I felt a tiny stab of jealousy, but it instantly pa.s.sed because, hey, I was riding on a wave full of energy and a whole package full of fireworks.