The Unusual Life Of Tristan Smith Part 55

'It's OK,' my father said. He was a well-dressed, handsome man, an actor. He was hearth folk. He came towards Peggy Kram, holding up his pale pink hands. 'Peggy, please. It's OK, really.'

But Peggy could no longer see him. She could see only the horrid creature that had put its red p.r.o.ng between her legs. She saw blood, snot, some ill-defined horror like a piece of meat, wrapped in plastic, left too long in the refrigerator.

'It's It,' she cried, crossing herself in front of me. 'It's Marchosias. G.o.d save us. It's the Hairy Man. G.o.d save us.'

If this was Efica we could have dismissed all this as 'just religion', but this was Voorstand and we were Ootlanders and my father therefore wrapped his strong body around mine. He lifted me into the air with his left arm. He held out his right hand to Jacqui Lorraine.

'It's Dagon,' screamed Peggy Kram. 'G.o.d save us.'

'Goodbye old man,' Bill said to Wally's body.

'It's Red Saatanil,' said Clive Baarder, and I swear he meant it. 'G.o.d save us.'

'G.o.d save us,' hollered Peggy Kram, throwing herself on her knees before the triptych.

We left the dear old Human Ball. We had no choice. We left him grinning, stretched out with his victim. The elevator was rising towards us, but Bill, fearing it contained more a.s.sa.s.sins, led us through the fire door to the stairs.

Why did we flee? We had done nothing wrong. Why did we rush out the back way and abandon our belongings like criminals?

Because, Madam, Meneer, my father had studied your Great Historical Past, and when Mrs Kram began to recite the Thirteen Names, he recognized the ritual from the Geloof Trials of a hundred years before. He saw the way Tristan Smith's own history was moving.

A bright red rail spiralled down twenty storeys to a chessboard floor.

'Hoop,' Bill said, and knelt so he could pick up Jacqui Lorraine around the waist.

She was one hundred pounds. I was sixty-five. When he got astride the banister he had the hundred pounds over the stairs, the sixty-five above the abyss. There was no rehearsal, no net, and his balance was by no means perfect, but as Gabe Manzini rose inside the elevator, as Kram and Baarder screamed the Thirteenth Name down into the pit, we were speeding towards sanity at thirty miles an hour.

On the fifteenth floor we wobbled.

On the twelfth I thought we were dead.

'Ooop-la,' Bill cried, holding us both, spinning on his toes as we landed. He wore his grey silk suit with snakeskin patches. He wore his elastic-sided boots with diamonds in the heels.

56.

If you registered motor cars, like any other country in the world, perhaps you would have tracked us as we ran from you.

But you are who you are, and we who we are, and we drove five days across some of the most beautiful country I have ever seen. We travelled across the dairy belt, up higher and higher into the Gelt Plateau. In other words, we travelled in the opposite direction to the one you had expected, into the country where they still hang the Hairy Man to make the corn grow. We drove through the night, through lone pine forests with no other habitation but simple miners' shacks with their kitsch folk figures in the barren front yards, with their neat stacks of yellow wood lined up along the high verandas, ready for the winter. As we went higher the cornfields were silver, gold, brown. And everywhere the flag, crimson in the morning, carmine in the shade.

After we left Highway 270, we took roads so small they often had no names. Then we travelled through a lace-work of little lanes and plateau towns where you could see tin cut-outs of Bruder Mouse nailed to the barn doors.

Each night we slept in the car, fogging the windows with our life stories Jacqui and her drinking mother, Bill and I and all those long-lost performances at the Feu Follet.

In the early mornings, before dawn, Jacqui left the car and went stealing. You know, by now, exactly what she stole: the three blankets, the raisin buns, the whole round of cheese, the red woollen s.h.i.+rt, all that drearily itemized account which is the substance of the charge against her. But I doubt you know, Meneer, Madam, that d.a.m.n cheese weighed twenty pounds and she dumped it on the roof of the car at five a.m., scared us s.h.i.+tless, laughed herself silly to see Bill Millefleur dancing round the steering wheel trying to get his pants on.

Jacqui had returned the long skirt and blue top to Malide. Now she had another black skirt, a loose grey sweater, and a white singlet. As we travelled higher, as the cornfields grew gold and silver, she also became burnished. Her eyes (perhaps they were always like this, but I only saw it now) became flecked with colour like an opal, beads of soft brown in the hazy blue light, and there was a calm about her, a pa.s.sivity I had never seen in her in all the time I knew her.

She, whose life had been marked by the sharp snapping of her fingers, her need for risk and action, now sat calmly for hours on end. I do not mean to suggest that she travelled silently. Indeed she talked rather a lot.

The more I listened to her, the more exactly she painted the picture of her childhood, the less I felt I had known her, and the more attractive she became.

She who had entrapped me, used me, was the same person who came through the high wet gra.s.s at six on a misty morning carrying three bottles of milk clinking in a canvas sack.

Raw eggs we ate, by streams in sunlight, mung beans by the handful, hard corn intended for cattle.

A twilight comrades.h.i.+p developed between the three of us, a friends.h.i.+p marked by great intimacy, small kindnesses. It was a tender plant that I, at that time, did not expect to live into whatever night might lie ahead. It was not equal, of course there were three of us, and my father was a handsome man, Jacqui a good-looking woman.

I think I said I was accustomed to pain, that it was, in my case, almost synonymous with pleasure. But now, it seemed, the pain was less, the pleasure greater. My experience with Peggy Kram was quite enough, in every sense, so although I had begun the journey in the front seat, I soon sought out the back.

There, wrapped in a blanket which I was forever ready to pull around my face, in fear of my life, surrounded by animus, taunted by the dangling effigy of the Hairy Man at wayside shrines, I was more alive than ever in my life before.

By now you know where we went. We drove right up into the Arctic Circle Arctic Circle where the temperatures were low enough to give you frostbite in a second and in a hunting lodge on a lake three miles from Port Wilhelm I sat in a bathroom and watched Bill and Jacqui dye their hair blond. where the temperatures were low enough to give you frostbite in a second and in a hunting lodge on a lake three miles from Port Wilhelm I sat in a bathroom and watched Bill and Jacqui dye their hair blond.

At the very hour Peggy Kram gave her deposition in the Bhurgercourt,* we sailed from Voorstand on the Nordic Trader Nordic Trader bound for Bergen. Jacqui was dressed as a man. Bill carried me on board inside the Mouse suit, disguised as a souvenir. At that time, although I did not know it, my unusual life was really just beginning. bound for Bergen. Jacqui was dressed as a man. Bill carried me on board inside the Mouse suit, disguised as a souvenir. At that time, although I did not know it, my unusual life was really just beginning.

Chemin Rouge, 426 Deposition given by Margaret Kram, Produkter, to the Bhurgercourt of Voorstand It came to me disguised as one of G.o.d's Creatures. Its true nature was monstrous, like the Hairy Man, the thing with scales that Bruder Duck saw in the woods, the little black thing that swished its tail and stamped its foot with rage.

It was charming, ingratiating, with numerous stories and songs. It walked upon the public street, moving without let or hindrance amongst the folk. It performed many tricks, some with eggs and spoons. I never saw it eat or heard it complain of hunger. It would never show its face.

It said it had no wish to come to Voorstand, that it came only to see 'My Father'. It lived inside the skin of the Mouse. It spoke with the voice of a man. It said it lived on air. It said it was born in 'the Shadows of the Sirkus'. It said it had drunk 'the Light of your Dreams' and lived 'in the Penumbra of your Lives'.

For a brief time, to my great shame, I fell under its spell. When I saw its true nature, I asked it, what have we done to you that you should bear us such enmity?

It had no reason.

Glossary

EFICAN ENGLISH ENGLISH.

angels to see the angels to see the angels, to have an o.r.g.a.s.mASM a.s.sistant Stage Manager (standard English) a.s.sistant Stage Manager (standard English)awert newspaper advertis.e.m.e.nt, particularly a small or 'cla.s.sified' advertis.e.m.e.nt newspaper advertis.e.m.e.nt, particularly a small or 'cla.s.sified' advertis.e.m.e.ntbandock nappy or diaper. From Voorstand English nappy or diaper. From Voorstand English banddoek banddoekballot idiot, jerk. From French idiot, jerk. From French ballotter ballotter, 'to shake up' thus, one who has had his brain shaken upbaton p.e.n.i.s p.e.n.i.sbazooley 1. that which you are pa.s.sionate about. 2. a prize, jackpot, winning bet. Also: 1. that which you are pa.s.sionate about. 2. a prize, jackpot, winning bet. Also: bazoohley bazoohleyBenny bouftou From French colloq. From French colloq. beni-bouflou beni-bouflou, lit: 'a blessed eater of everything'b.i.+.c.he-la-mar sea cuc.u.mbers or trepang. Also: sea cuc.u.mbers or trepang. Also: b.i.+.c.ho do mur. b.i.+.c.ho do mur. Corruption of French Corruption of French beche-de-mer beche-de-merBride pint of beer, so named for its foaming white 'train' pint of beer, so named for its foaming white 'train'brique bleu unusually large molluscs (of the Gastropod cla.s.s) harvested by first century unusually large molluscs (of the Gastropod cla.s.s) harvested by first century EC EC Efican dyeworks. A source of 'Efican Blue'. Lit: 'blue bricks' Efican dyeworks. A source of 'Efican Blue'. Lit: 'blue bricks'cambruce a hick, farmer, an inhabitant of Nez Noir. Probably a corruption of French a hick, farmer, an inhabitant of Nez Noir. Probably a corruption of French cambroussard cambroussardcancerette cigarette cigarettecase-latrine poor quality red wine. From French poor quality red wine. From French caisse poitrine caisse poitrine, lit: 'chest-breaker'cash parole automatic teller machine card automatic teller machine cardca.s.serole a spotlight a spotlightcouchette a small bed or crib, sometimes a small bedroom a small bed or crib, sometimes a small bedroomCroco cristi untranslatable expletive with origins in first century untranslatable expletive with origins in first century EC EC cant. cant. Christi Christi possibly from Sacristi or Holy Cow, possibly from Sacristi or Holy Cow, Croco Croco from Crocodile from Crocodilecroix cakes round poppy-seed cakes. The round poppy-seed cakes. The croix croix (French 'cross') may have its origins in the cross-hatched pattern of icing (French 'cross') may have its origins in the cross-hatched pattern of icingdab father, dad father, daddemi-botte gumboot, Wellington. Also: gumboot, Wellington. Also: demi, demon demi, demondos-sack back-pack back-packdreck s.h.i.+t. From Yiddish s.h.i.+t. From YiddishEnteralis any tree of the predominantly Efican genus any tree of the predominantly Efican genus Enteralis Enteralisfacheur thief. Corruption of French thief. Corruption of French faucher faucher, 'to steal'frere comrade comradefrippes trousers, threads. From French trousers, threads. From French frippes frippes, 'wrinkles'. Also: thrippes thrippesganja dried leaves of the Indian hemp plant dried leaves of the Indian hemp plant Cannabis sativa. Cannabis sativa. From Hindi From Hindi gaja gaja, from Sanskrit grnja grnjaGardiacivil police policegazetted to be married. From first and second centuries to be married. From first and second centuries EC EC, when civil marriages were published in the Government gazettegen a man, a gent a man, a gentgovernor to work for the governor to work for the governor is to work for the ruling cla.s.s, to be a stool pigeon, to be untrustworthy is to work for the ruling cla.s.s, to be a stool pigeon, to be untrustworthyillico presto immediately; hurry it up. From Italian immediately; hurry it up. From Italian presto prestojon-kay money. From French colloq. money. From French colloq. jonc, joncaille. jonc, joncaille. Also: John Kay Also: John KayJules man in general man in generalLasto-net synthetic bandage developed in Efica 370 synthetic bandage developed in Efica 370 EC EC. Lasto-net is the registered copyright of h.e.l.las EnterprisesLeko an ellipsoidal reflective spotlight an ellipsoidal reflective spotlightlever man a burglar specializing in forced entry a burglar specializing in forced entrylolo breast. Most likely from French child's cry for milk, breast. Most likely from French child's cry for milk, 'lait, lait' 'lait, lait'loup mad, rabid mad, rabidmeccano equestrian rig invented by Spencer Q. Stokes to train bare-back riders. A central post supports an arm like the jib of a crane from which the student is suspended equestrian rig invented by Spencer Q. Stokes to train bare-back riders. A central post supports an arm like the jib of a crane from which the student is suspendedmo-ami my friend. Corruption of French my friend. Corruption of French mon ami mon amimobile-amor sedan chair sedan chairmo-chou common endearment. Corruption of French common endearment. Corruption of French mon chou-fleur mon chou-fleur, 'my cauliflower'mollo mollo relax, take it easy relax, take it easyMongrel Day a warm, overcast, windy day a warm, overcast, windy daymo-poulet common endearment, lit: 'my chicken' common endearment, lit: 'my chicken'Moosone the wet season the wet seasonmouette a gull-like bird indigenous to the southern islands of Efica a gull-like bird indigenous to the southern islands of EficaMuddy Member of the Efican Democratic Party Member of the Efican Democratic Partymug-wallop untranslatable abusive term. Probably cant, from first century untranslatable abusive term. Probably cant, from first century EC ECmusico a flatterer, a crook. Also: a musician a flatterer, a crook. Also: a musicianparsley pubic hair. pubic hair. To put the asparagus in the parsley To put the asparagus in the parsley, to have s.e.xual intercoursepatapoof a fat person a fat personpea and thimble man a fairground con-man a fairground con-manpenguin policeman policemanperroquet a green drink made from crushed ice, green lime cordial, seltzer. From French a green drink made from crushed ice, green lime cordial, seltzer. From French perroqet perroqet, 'parrot'pet.i.te tente small tent used by family circuses in islands of Efica small tent used by family circuses in islands of Eficapetticon little c.u.n.t (esp. vulg.). Corruption of French little c.u.n.t (esp. vulg.). Corruption of French pet.i.te con pet.i.te conp.i.s.smarie a nurse (vulg.). From a nurse (vulg.). From santamarie santamarieplaying card small fish, usually silver bream small fish, usually silver breamporpoise p.e.n.i.s p.e.n.i.srak-rok block three-dimensional jigsaw invented in Efica, now manufactured under licence in Europe and Voorstand three-dimensional jigsaw invented in Efica, now manufactured under licence in Europe and Voorstandrikiki the little finger, an under-sized person, a 4 fl.oz. gla.s.s of beer. Corruption of French the little finger, an under-sized person, a 4 fl.oz. gla.s.s of beer. Corruption of French riquiqui riquiquiringhard a bad actor. From colloq. French a bad actor. From colloq. French ringard ringard, 'a real zero'riveter a h.o.m.os.e.xual (vulg.) a h.o.m.os.e.xual (vulg.)roteuse any effervescent wine, sometimes champagne. Possibly from French any effervescent wine, sometimes champagne. Possibly from French roter roter, 'to burp'santamarie a nurse a nurseshapoh the boss, the person in charge. From first century the boss, the person in charge. From first century EC EC, most likely from French chapeau chapeaushooting star prost.i.tute prost.i.tuteskipjack fish of the genus fish of the genus Pomatomus Pomatomus common in Efican waters common in Efican waterssorcier (as in (as in Pin-ball sorcier) Pin-ball sorcier) a share trader who uses computers to make buying and selling decisions a share trader who uses computers to make buying and selling decisionssock car tyre car tyresoup server an actor who plays small roles an actor who plays small rolesspanker backside backsideSparrowgra.s.s common name for a tall thin person common name for a tall thin personspin drier a woman who extracts money from men. Very strong connotation of 'drying' as relating to male e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.i.o.n a woman who extracts money from men. Very strong connotation of 'drying' as relating to male e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.i.o.nStarbuck first two rows in the Efican circus, traditionally marked with stencilled stars. These seats have backs, hence also: first two rows in the Efican circus, traditionally marked with stencilled stars. These seats have backs, hence also: starback starbacktarboof nose noseTeuf-teuf onomatopoeia for sound an old car makes onomatopoeia for sound an old car makestin-tin a dyer. First century a dyer. First century EC EC, from French teinturier teinturiertoubib a doctor. From Arabic a doctor. From Arabictringler p.e.n.i.s p.e.n.i.svalsir backside. From French backside. From French valseur valseur, lit: 'waltzer'vedette a celebrity a celebrityvert-walk narrow band of mown gra.s.s between footpath and kerb-side in Efican coastal towns narrow band of mown gra.s.s between footpath and kerb-side in Efican coastal townsviolin prison prisonvioliniste an ex-con an ex-conwalloper see see gardiacivil gardiacivilzine any printed journal or news sheet. From English any printed journal or news sheet. From English magazine magazine VOORSTAND ENGLISH ENGLISH.

air-kool air-conditioning air-conditioningBeanbredie bean stew, a dish much beloved of Bruder Mouse in the Badberg Tales. See recipe in bean stew, a dish much beloved of Bruder Mouse in the Badberg Tales. See recipe in Bruder Mouse and the English gjent Bruder Mouse and the English gjentbhalam a string banjo favoured by many Pow-pow musicians, but not known in Voorstand until last century a string banjo favoured by many Pow-pow musicians, but not known in Voorstand until last centurybhurger a citizen (Voorstand spelling of the standard English a citizen (Voorstand spelling of the standard English burgher) burgher)Bhurger-court one of the two courts of Voorstand; the other, higher, court is the Guildcourt one of the two courts of Voorstand; the other, higher, court is the Guildcourtblikk 1. a car (colloq.) 2. a tin can 1. a car (colloq.) 2. a tin canbottelier wine waiter wine waiterbullschtool bulls.h.i.+t bulls.h.i.+tCyborg see Simulacrum see Simulacrumdeskmajoor the concierge in a hotel or apartment building, a role often taken by retired soldiers of the Voorstand Armed Forces hence the concierge in a hotel or apartment building, a role often taken by retired soldiers of the Voorstand Armed Forces hence majoor majoor ('major') from Dutch. See also ('major') from Dutch. See also wheelmajoor wheelmajoor, sparkmajoorDome a specially constructed theatre for the presentation of the Voorstand Sirkus a specially constructed theatre for the presentation of the Voorstand Sirkusfacilitator someone who earns their living by 'facilitating' the illegal entry of aliens into Voorstand someone who earns their living by 'facilitating' the illegal entry of aliens into Voorstandfiltreeder a water filtration tower designed to cleanse the polluted water table of Saarlim City a water filtration tower designed to cleanse the polluted water table of Saarlim CityFolkghost spirits in the Badberg tales who often appear in times of crisis to impart wisdom to the Bruders spirits in the Badberg tales who often appear in times of crisis to impart wisdom to the Brudersfootsack to go away; (trans.) to kick away, dismiss. Originally to go away; (trans.) to kick away, dismiss. Originally voertsek voertsek from Dutch from Dutch voert voert, 'a foot'gaaf as in as in gaaf-morning gaaf-morning, 'good morning', a usage of gaaf that gaaf that does not seem to have existed in old Dutch does not seem to have existed in old DutchGeloof faith faithgeld-band a gold belt or band which marked the magical characters in the Badberg tales. A popular fas.h.i.+on accessory at the time of this history a gold belt or band which marked the magical characters in the Badberg tales. A popular fas.h.i.+on accessory at the time of this historyGhostdorp a theme park devoted to historical re-enactments, often located on actual historical sights. From Dutch a theme park devoted to historical re-enactments, often located on actual historical sights. From Dutch dorp dorp, 'a town'gjent a man. Also: a man. Also: business-gjent business-gjentgjil a woman a womangondel a water taxi. From Dutch a water taxi. From Dutch gondel gondel, 'a gondola'hearth home, family. Hearth folk are those, whether related or not, who are considered kin. Also: home, family. Hearth folk are those, whether related or not, who are considered kin. Also: heart folk heart folkHollandse Maagd Dutch Maid Dutch Maidhunning common endearment, lit: 'honey' common endearment, lit: 'honey'kak s.h.i.+t s.h.i.+tKakdorp lit: s.h.i.+t-town lit: s.h.i.+t-townka.n.a.l ca.n.a.l ca.n.a.lkarakter a not easily translatable code of behaviour that encompa.s.ses both table manners and moral fibre a not easily translatable code of behaviour that encompa.s.ses both table manners and moral fibreklootsac a disaster. From Dutch, lit: 't.e.s.t.i.c.l.e' a disaster. From Dutch, lit: 't.e.s.t.i.c.l.e' (kloot) (kloot), 'bag' (sac). (sac). (esp. vulg.) (esp. vulg.)kraker a squatter a squatterkraal corral corrallandloper itinerant itinerantliefling darling, from Dutch darling, from Dutchloop-de-loop an autograph or signature, particularly of a flamboyant nature an autograph or signature, particularly of a flamboyant natureMeneer mister misterminebroo brother brothermisdaad boy a member of a gang, lit: 'crime-boy' a member of a gang, lit: 'crime-boy'odeklonje any perfumed toilet water any perfumed toilet waterootlander a foreigner. Corruption of Dutch a foreigner. Corruption of Dutch buitenlander. buitenlander. Lit: 'someone from outside our land' Lit: 'someone from outside our land'platz town square town squarePow-pow originally captured soldiers and their families (Prisoners of War) and later illegal immigrants who came to make up the low end of the labour pool. originally captured soldiers and their families (Prisoners of War) and later illegal immigrants who came to make up the low end of the labour pool. Pow-pow music Pow-pow music is the distinctive music produced by a large and disparate group is the distinctive music produced by a large and disparate groupprikkeled irritated. From Dutch irritated. From Dutch prikkelen prikkelenprodukter Sirkus entrepreneur Sirkus entrepreneurraagbol pudding vegetable pudding in which the thin strips of carrot visible through the dough are suggestive of a mop or a mop of hair. Also: vegetable pudding in which the thin strips of carrot visible through the dough are suggestive of a mop or a mop of hair. Also: Pope's head Pudding. Pope's head Pudding. From Dutch From Dutch ragebol ragebol, 'a mop of hair'rhyti a one-stringed fiddle, originally from Africa a one-stringed fiddle, originally from AfricaSimulacrum a computer-driven likeness of the mythic animals of the Franciscan Free Church. Abbrev: Simi a computer-driven likeness of the mythic animals of the Franciscan Free Church. Abbrev: SimiSimulation Dome vid presentation of Sirkus on 360-degree screens, specially designed for export market vid presentation of Sirkus on 360-degree screens, specially designed for export marketSirkus an entertainment born of the belief that animals should not be held captive by humans. Originally an ingenious morality tale without animals, finally a sophisticated presentation using laser characters, computer imagery and human performers who are distinguished by their skill and high mortality rate. From English an entertainment born of the belief that animals should not be held captive by humans. Originally an ingenious morality tale without animals, finally a sophisticated presentation using laser characters, computer imagery and human performers who are distinguished by their skill and high mortality rate. From English Circus Circussparkmajoor any of the numerous technicians who operate the computers at a Sirkus. See any of the numerous technicians who operate the computers at a Sirkus. See deskmajoor deskmajoorSteeg alleyway alleywayStempel visa, from Dutch visa, from Dutch Stempel, Stempel, 'a stamp' 'a stamp'swartzer someone with black skin (esp. vulg.) someone with black skin (esp. vulg.)Tentdorp the original entertainment area of Saarlim, lit: 'tent-town' the original entertainment area of Saarlim, lit: 'tent-town'trannie a transs.e.xual a transs.e.xualtrothaus a penthouse, normally luxurious. From Dutch a penthouse, normally luxurious. From Dutch trots trots, 'proud'Verteller the narrator of the early Sirkuses of Voorstand. From Dutch the narrator of the early Sirkuses of Voorstand. From Dutch Verteile Verteiler, 'story-teller' 'story-teller'vid-glorie the type of fame that comes from having one's image broadcast on the vid the type of fame that comes from having one's image broadcast on the vidVoorwacker an admirer of Voorstandish popular culture an admirer of Voorstandish popular culturevote-dokter originally a political adviser, but more recently a euphemism for someone involved in espionage, destabilization originally a political adviser, but more recently a euphemism for someone involved in espionage, destabilizationwheelmajoor chauffeur. See chauffeur. See deskmajoor deskmajoorwheel-squirrel bicyclist, roller-skater, any wheeled human travelling rapidly along a pedestrian thoroughfare bicyclist, roller-skater, any wheeled human travelling rapidly along a pedestrian thoroughfarewolkegrabber lit: a cloud-grabber. From Dutch lit: a cloud-grabber. From Dutch wolke wolke, 'a cloud'yardveeg a janitor in an apartment building. From English a janitor in an apartment building. From English yard yard and Dutch and Dutch vegen vegen, 'to sweep'. Orig. yardveeger yardveegerzee a large body of water, not usually a sea; a lake a large body of water, not usually a sea; a lake

Peter Carey is the author of eleven novels and has twice received the Booker Prize. His other honors include the Commonwealth Writers' Prize and the Miles Franklin Literary Award. Born in Australia, he has lived in New York City for twenty years.www.petercareybooks.com

BOOKS BY P PETER C CAREY.

PARROT AND OLIVER IN AMERICAHIS ILLEGAL SELFTHEFTWRONG ABOUT j.a.pANMY LIFE AS A FAKE30 DAYS IN SYDNEY: A WILDLY DISTORTED ACCOUNTTRUE HISTORY OF THE KELLY GANGJACK MAGGSTHE UNUSUAL LIFE OF TRISTAN SMITHTHE BIG BAZOOHLEYTHE TAX INSPECTOROSCAR AND LUCINDABLISSILLYWHACKERTHE FAT MAN IN HISTORY.

ALSO BY P PETER C CAREY.

BLISSFor thirty-nine years Harry Joy has been the quintessential good guy. But one morning Harry has a heart attack on his suburban front lawn, and, for the s.p.a.ce of nine minutes, he becomes a dead guy. And although he is resuscitated, he will never be the same. For, as Peter Carey makes abundantly clear in this darkly funny novel, death is sometimes a necessary prelude to real life. Part The Wizard of Oz The Wizard of Oz, part Dante's Inferno Inferno, and part Australian Book of the Dead Book of the Dead, Bliss Bliss is a triumph of uninhibited storytelling from a writer of extravagant gifts. is a triumph of uninhibited storytelling from a writer of extravagant gifts.Fiction/Literature/978-0-679-76719-0HIS ILLEGAL SELFSeven-year-old Che Selkirk was raised in isolated privilege by his New York grandmother. The son of radical student activists at Harvard in the late sixties, Che has grown up with the hope that one day his parents will come back for him. So when a woman arrives at his front door and whisks him away to the jungles of Queensland, he is confronted with the most important questions of his life: Who is his real mother? Did he know his real father? And if all he suspects is true, what should he do? In this artful tale of a young boy's journey, His Illegal Self His Illegal Self lifts your spirit in the most unexpected way. lifts your spirit in the most unexpected way.Fiction/Literature/978-0-307-27649-0ILLYWHACKERIn Australian slang, an illywhacker is a country fair con man, an unprincipled seller of fake diamonds and dubious tonics. And Herbert Badgery, the 139-year-old narrator of Peter Carey's uproarious novel, may be the king of them all. As Carey follows this charming scoundrel across a continent and a century, he creates a crazy quilt of outlandish encounters. Boldly inventive, irresistibly odd, Illywhacker Illywhacker is further proof that Peter Carey is one of the most enchanting writers at work in any hemisphere. is further proof that Peter Carey is one of the most enchanting writers at work in any hemisphere.Fiction/Literature/978-0-679-76790-9JACK MAGGSThe year is 1837 and a stranger is prowling London. He is Jack Maggs, an illegal returnee from the prison island of Australia. He has the demeanor of a savage and the skills of a hardened criminal, and he is risking his life on seeking vengeance and reconciliation. Installing himself within the household of the genteel grocer Percy Buckle, Maggs soon attracts the attention of a cross section of London society. But Maggs is obsessed with a plan of his own. And as these schemes converge, Maggs rises to the center, a dark looming figure, at once frightening, mysterious, and compelling.Fiction/Literature/978-0-679-76037-5MY LIFE AS A FAKEFiendishly devious and addictively readable, Peter Carey's My Life as a Fake My Life as a Fake is a moral labyrinth constructed around the uneasy relations.h.i.+p between literature and lying. In steamy, fetid Kuala Lumpur in 1972, Sarah Wode-Dougla.s.s, the editor of a London poetry journal, meets a mysterious Australian named Christopher Chubb. Chubb is a despised literary hoaxer, carting around a ma.n.u.script likely filled with deceit. But in this dubious piece of literature Sarah recognizes a work of real genius. But whose genius? As Sarah tries to secure the ma.n.u.script, Chubb draws her into a fantastic story of imposture, murder, kidnapping, and exile-a story that couldn't be true unless its teller were mad. is a moral labyrinth constructed around the uneasy relations.h.i.+p between literature and lying. In steamy, fetid Kuala Lumpur in 1972, Sarah Wode-Dougla.s.s, the editor of a London poetry journal, meets a mysterious Australian named Christopher Chubb. Chubb is a despised literary hoaxer, carting around a ma.n.u.script likely filled with deceit. But in this dubious piece of literature Sarah recognizes a work of real genius. But whose genius? As Sarah tries to secure the ma.n.u.script, Chubb draws her into a fantastic story of imposture, murder, kidnapping, and exile-a story that couldn't be true unless its teller were mad. My Life as a Fake My Life as a Fake is Carey at his most audacious and entertaining. is Carey at his most audacious and entertaining.Fiction/978-1-4000-3088-0OSCAR AND LUCINDAThis sweeping, irrepressibly inventive novel is a romance, but a romance of the sort that could only take place in nineteenth-century Australia. For only on that sprawling continent-a haven for misfits of both the animal and human kingdoms-could a nervous Anglican minister who gambles on the instructions from the Divine become allied with a teenaged heiress who buys a gla.s.sworks to help liberate her s.e.x. And only Peter Carey could implicate Oscar and Lucinda in a narrative of love that culminates in a half-mad expedition to transport a gla.s.s church across the Outback.Fiction/Literature/978-0-679-77750-2THE TAX INSPECTORGranny Catchprice runs her family business (and her family) with senility, cunning, and a handbagful of explosives. Her daughter Cathy would rather be singing Country & Western than selling cars, while Benny Catchprice, sixteen and seriously psychopathic, wants to transform a failing auto franchise into an empire-and himself into an angel. Out of the confrontation between the Catchprices and their unwitting nemesis, a beautiful and very pregnant agent of the Australian Taxation Office, Peter Carey, creates an endlessly surprising and fearfully convincing novel.Fiction/Literature/978-0-679-73598-4THEFTMichael "Butcher" Boone is an ex-"really famous" painter, now reduced to living in a remote country house and acting as a caretaker for his younger brother, Hugh. Alone together, they've forged a delicate equilibrium, a balance instantly destroyed when a mysterious young woman named Marlene walks out of a rainstorm and into their lives.Fiction/Literature/978-0-307-27648-3TRUE HISTORY OF THE KELLY GANGTo his pursuers, Ned Kelly is nothing but a monstrous criminal, a thief, and a murderer. To his own people, the lowly cla.s.s of ordinary Australians, the bushranger is a hero, defying the authority of the English to direct their lives. Indentured by his bootlegger mother to a famous horse thief, Ned saw his first prison cell at fifteen and by the age of twenty-six had become the most wanted man in the wild colony of Victoria. Here is a cla.s.sic outlaw tale, made alive by the skill of a great novelist.Fiction/Literature/978-0-375-72467-1WRONG ABOUT j.a.pANWhen Peter Carey offered to take his son to j.a.pan, twelve-year-old Charley stipulated no temples or museums. He wanted to see manga, anime, and cool, weird stuff. His father said yes. Out of that bargain comes this enchanting tour of the mansion of j.a.panese culture, as entered through its garish, brightly lit back door. Funny, surprising, distinguished by its wonderfully nuanced portrait of a father and son thousands of miles from home, Wrong About j.a.pan Wrong About j.a.pan is a delight. is a delight.Travel/978-1-4000-7836-3

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