Night World - Spellbinder Part 16

"I should have just found some way to keep him at a distance in the beginni ng."

But of course, it was because of Blaise that she hadn't. She'd thought Eric was safer with her than he would have been with Blaise. She'd thought that s omehow . . . somehow . . .

Things would work out. That was it. There had always been some secret underl ying hope that there could be a future with Eric. Some little hiding place w here she'd kept the hope that things could be all right.

But now she had to face reality.

There was no future.

The only thing she could give Eric was death. And that was all he could give her. She'd realized that, all in one terrible explosion of insight when she'd seen Eric's mother in the room.

There was no way for them to be together without being discovered. Even if they ran away, someday, somewhere, the Night People would find them. They 'd be brought before the joint Night World Council, the vampire and witch elders. And then the law would be fulfilled. . . .

Thea had never seen an execution, but she'd heard of them. And if the Harma ns tried to stop the Council from killing her, it would start a war. Witche s against vampires. Maybe even witches against witches. It could mean the end of everything.

"So it doesn't look like we have to kill the mother," Blaise said, frowning a t her scribbles. "On the other hand, if we kill the kids, the mother's bound to be unhappy, and might make a connection. So to be safe-"

"We can't kill any of them," Thea said. Her voice was muted but final.

"I don't mean ourselves. I'm going to call one of our friendly vampire cous ins. Ash-he's supposed to be out on the West Coast somewhere, isn't he? Or Quinn, he likes that kind of thing. One quick bite, let the blood run out-"

"Blaise, I am not going to let vampires kill Eric. Or anybody," she added as Blaise opened her mouth. "It's not necessary. n.o.body needs to die."

"So you have a better idea?"

Thea looked at a statue of Isis, the Queen of Egyptian G.o.ddesses, on the d esk. "I ... don't know. I thought of the Cup of Lethe. Make them forget ev erything about me. But it might look suspicious-this entire family with a gap in their memory. And kids at school would wonder why Eric doesn't reme mber my name anymore."

"True."

Thea stared at the moon held between Isis's golden horns. Her brain, which had been working so coldly and logically, helping her to survive, was stall ing now. There had to be a way to save Eric and his family-or what was the point of living herself?

Then she saw it.

"What I really think would be best," she said slowly, because it hurt like a physical pain, "would be for Eric to stop caring about me. To fall in love wi th someone else."

Blaise sat back. She stirred the candy corn with long, elegant nails. She ate a piece.

"I admire you," she said. "Very sensible."

"Not yon," Thea said through clenched teeth. "You understand that, right? A human. If he falls in love with another girl he'll forget about me without any Lethe. n.o.body will disappear or have amnesia; n.o.body will get suspicio us."

SPELLBINDER.

"Okay. Although I would've liked to try him. He's got a strong will-I think h e'd have held out for a while. Been a challenge."

Thea ignored this. "I still have some of his blood. The question is, do you have something you've been holding back, some love spell that will complet ely blow him out of the water?"

Blaise ate another piece of candy corn. "Of course I do." She narrowed her gr ay eyes. "Also, of course, it's a forbidden spell."

"I figured. Blaise, I'm now the princess of forbidden spells. One more doesn't matter. But I'll do the actual working, I don't want you to get in trouble.""You won't like it. It involves the bezoar stone from the stomach of an ibe x-which I just happened to pick up while we were living with Aunt Gerdeth."

Ibex were an endangered species. But this one was already dead. "I'll do th e working," Thea said stubbornly.

"You really care about him, don't you?"

"Yes," Thea whispered. "I still think we're soul-mates. But . . ."

Would you give up everything?

"I don't want to be the reason he dies. Or the reason a war starts between t he Harmans and the rest of the Night World. And if I have to give him up, I'

d rather do it myself, make sure he's safe with somebody else who loves him.

"Have you got somebody picked out?"

"Her name is Pilar." Thea looked at her cousin suddenly. "Blaise? When L uke asked you what you wanted, and you said nothing you could have . . . what did you mean?"

Blaise tilted her head back and examined the ceiling. Then she looked dow n. "Does anybody ever want anything they can have? Really?"

"I... don't know."

Blaise clasped her knees and rested her chin on them. "If we can have thing s, we don't really want them anymore. So there's always something out there that we're wanting and not able to get... and maybe that's good."

It didn't sound good to Thea. It sounded like one of those terrible lessons in Life 101 that were supposed to make you more mature.

"Let's do the spell," she said.

CHAPTER 13.

You know, he probably only loved you because of the yemonja," Blaise said .

Thea looked up from her seat in the empty chemistry lab. It was morning brea k, and this was the most private place they could find at school. "Thanks, B laise. I needed that."

But maybe it was true. She'd almost forgotten that she'd used a spell to get hi m in the first place.

That should make a difference, she told herself. If it was all artificial, I shou ldn't even miss it.

She still felt as if she were encased in ice.

"Did you get it?"

"Sure." Blaise tossed a ring on the high table. "I asked her if I could look at it, then pretended I dropped it in the bushes. She's still out there searching."

Thea pulled the binding spell out of her backpack.

Two anatomically correct dolls, both made with the blue wax Blaise used for her jewelry. Beautiful little creatures-Blaise was an artist. The male one contained the Kleenex with Eric's blood and a single sandy hair Thea had f ound clinging to her shoulder.

Thea put Pilar's turquoise ring around the feet of the female doll and tied it with a red thread to keep it on. She held out a hand.

From her backpack, Blaise produced a corked hexagonal bottle. The liquid i nside was made up of all sorts of disgusting things, including ground bezo ar stone. Thea held her breath as she poured it over the two figures, whic h immediately began to smoke.

"Now bind them together," Blaise said, coughing and waving a hand to clear a s.p.a.ce to breathe.

"I know." Thea took a thin scarlet ribbon seven feet long and patiently beg an winding it around the two figures. It wrapped them like mummies. She tuc ked the loose end into a loop.

"And there they are," Blaise said. "Bound till death. Congratulations. Let's s ee, it's ten fifteen now, so he should have forgotten your existence by about . . . say, ten sixteen." She reached up and her hair ran like black water thro ugh her hands as she stretched.

Thea tried to smile.

The pain was bad. It was as if some part of Thea's physical body had been cut off. She felt raw and bleeding and not at all able to deal with things like French or trigonometry.

There must be more to life. I'll go somewhere and do something for other people; I'll work in third world countries or try to s ave an endangered species.

But thinking about future good works didn't help the raw ache. Or the feeli ng that if the ache stopped she would just be numb and never be happy again .

And all this for a human . . .

It didn't work anymore. She couldn't go back to her old way of thinking. Hum ans might be alien, but they were still people. They were as good as witches . Just different.

She managed to get through the schoolday without running into Eric-which ma inly meant scuttling around corridors after bells rang and being tardy for cla.s.ses. She was scuttling after the last bell toward Dani's U.S. governmen t cla.s.s when she almost collided with Pilar.

"Thea!"

The voice was surprised. Thea looked up.

Deep amber-brown eyes, framed by spiky black lashes. Pilar was looking at her very strangely.

Wondering at your good luck? Thea thought. Has Eric proposed to you yet?

"What?" she said.Pilar hesitated, then just shook her head and walked off.

Thea ducked into the history cla.s.sroom.

Dani said, "Thea!"

Everybody sounds the same.

"Where've you been? Eric's looking all over for you."

Of course, I should have realized. Blaise was wrong-he's not just going to f orget about me and walk away. He's a gentleman; he's going to tell me he's walking away.

"Can I go home with you?" she asked Dani wretchedly. "I need some s.p.a.ce.

"Thea ..." Dani dragged her to a corner and looked her over with anxious eyes . "Eric really wants to find you . . . but what's wrong?" she whispered. "Is it something about Suzanne? The old gym's still closed, isn't it?"

"It's nothing to do with that." She was about to suggest they get moving when a tall figure walked in the door. Eric.

He walked straight to Thea. The kids hanging around the teacher's desk were looking. The teacher was looking. Thea felt like a freak show.

"We have to talk," Eric said flatly. She'd never seen him look quite like t his before. He was pale, gla.s.sy-eyed, hollow-cheeked. He somehow managed to look as if he'd missed a week's worth of sleep since that morning.

And he was right. They had to talk to end it. She had to explain that it was ok ay, or he'd never be able to go. I can do that.

"Somewhere private," Thea said.

They left Dani and walked through the campus, past the old gym with its yell ow ribbon of police tape hanging limp and still. Through the football field.

Thea didn't know where they were going, and suspected Eric didn't either-the y just kept moving until they were out of sight of people.

The green of the tended gra.s.s gave way to yellow-green, and then brown, an d then desert. Thea wrapped her arms around herself, thinking about how co ld it had gotten in just a week and a half. The last trace of summer was g one.

And now we're going to talk about it, she thought as Eric stopped. Okay. I do n't have to think, just say the right words. She forced herself to look at hi m.

He turned the haggard, haunted face on her and said, "I want you to stop it."

Funny choice of words. You mean end it, break it off, put it quietly out of it s misery.

She couldn't get all that out, so she just said, "What?"

"I don't know what you're doing," he said, "but I want it stopped. Now."

His green eyes were level. Not apologetic, more like demanding. His voice was flat.

Thea had a sudden sense of s.h.i.+fting realities. All the hairs on her arms were standing up.

Caught without a working brain, she said, "I- what are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about." He was still looking at her steadily.

Thea shook her head no.

He shrugged. It was a you-asked-for-it shrug. "Whatever you're doing," he said with terrible distinctness, "to try and make me like Pilar, it has got to sto p. Because it's not fair to her. She's upset right now because I'm acting craz y. But I don't want to be with her. It's you I love. And if you want to get rid of me, then tell me, but don't try and foist me off on somebody else."

Thea listened to the whole speech feeling as if she were floating several f eet above the ground. The sky and desert seemed too bright, not warm, just very s.h.i.+ny. While her brain ran around frantically like Madame Curie in a n ew cage, she managed to get out, "What could I possibly have to do-with you liking Pilar?"

Eric looked around, found a rock, and sat on it. He stared down at his hands for a minute or so. Finally he looked up, his expression helpless.

"Give me a break, Thea," he said. "How stupid do you think I am?" Oh.