Changing My Mind_ Occasional Essays Part 9

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4. CHURCH NOT MADE WITH HANDS.

It's worth having faith in "Octet." You miss something important if you throw it across the room unfinished, as I did when I first read it. Buried in the middle of it there is a sort of confession. Or as close to a nakedly honest statement as Wallace ever made w/r/t his literary intentions. He is ostensibly talking about the "semiworkable pieces" of "Octet," but what he has to say applies to all his work: [A]ll seem to be trying to demonstrate some sort of weird ambient sameness sameness in different kinds of human relations.h.i.+ps, some nameless but inescapable " in different kinds of human relations.h.i.+ps, some nameless but inescapable "price" that all human beings are faced with having to pay at some point if they ever truly want "to be with" another person instead of just using that person somehow (like for example using the person just as an audience, or as an instrument of their own selfish ends, or as some piece of moral gymnastics equipment on which they can demonstrate their virtuous character (as in people who are generous to other people only because they want to be seen as generous, and so actually secretly like it when people around them go broke or get into trouble, because it means they can rush generously in and act all helpful-everybody's seen people like this), or as a narcissistically cathected projection of themselves, etc.), a weird and nameless but apparently unavoidable "price" that can actually sometimes equal death itself, or at least usually equals your giving up something (either a thing or a person or a precious long-held "feeling" or some certain idea of yourself and your own virtue/worth/ident.i.ty) whose loss will feel, in a true and urgent way, like a kind of death, and to say that the fact that there could be (you feel) such an overwhelming and elemental sameness sameness to such totally different situations and to such totally different situations and mise en scenes mise en scenes and conundra. . . .-seems to you urgent, truly urgent, something almost worth s.h.i.+mmying up chimneys and shouting from roofs about. and conundra. . . .-seems to you urgent, truly urgent, something almost worth s.h.i.+mmying up chimneys and shouting from roofs about.8687 There is a weird ambient sameness to Wallace's work. He was always asking essentially the same question. How do I recognize that other people are real, as I am? How do I recognize that other people are real, as I am? And the strange, quasi-mystical answer was always the same, too. And the strange, quasi-mystical answer was always the same, too. You may have to give up your attachment to the "self." You may have to give up your attachment to the "self." I don't mean that Wallace "preached" this moral in his work; when I think of a moralist I don't think of a preacher. On the contrary, he was a writer who placed himself "in the hazard" of his own terms, undergoing them as real problems, both in life and on the page. For this reason, I suspect he will remain a writer who appeals, above all, to the young. It's young people who best understand his sense of urgency, and who tend to take abstract existential questions like these seriously, as interrogations that relate directly to themselves. The struggle with ego, the struggle with the self, the struggle to allow other people to exist in their genuine "otherness"-these were aspects of Wallace's own struggle. One way to read I don't mean that Wallace "preached" this moral in his work; when I think of a moralist I don't think of a preacher. On the contrary, he was a writer who placed himself "in the hazard" of his own terms, undergoing them as real problems, both in life and on the page. For this reason, I suspect he will remain a writer who appeals, above all, to the young. It's young people who best understand his sense of urgency, and who tend to take abstract existential questions like these seriously, as interrogations that relate directly to themselves. The struggle with ego, the struggle with the self, the struggle to allow other people to exist in their genuine "otherness"-these were aspects of Wallace's own struggle. One way to read Brief Interviews Brief Interviews is as a series of intimate confessions of "other blindness." Confessions of solipsism, of misogyny, of ego, of control freakery, of cruelty, of sn.o.bbery, of sadism. Of that old Christian double bind: is as a series of intimate confessions of "other blindness." Confessions of solipsism, of misogyny, of ego, of control freakery, of cruelty, of sn.o.bbery, of sadism. Of that old Christian double bind: the wish to be seen to be good the wish to be seen to be good. Speaking of "The Depressed Person" he said: "That was the most painful thing I have ever done. . . . [T]hat character is a part of me I hardly ever write about. There is a part of me that is just like that person." And then there's the moderately overweight careerist poet in "Death Is Not the End." It's about as far from an autobiographical portrait of Wallace as one can imagine, but it's fueled with a disgust that feels somehow personal. Wallace was const.i.tutionally hard on himself, apparently compelled to confess not only to who he was but to who he dreaded being or becoming. "The fifty-six-year-old American poet, a n.o.bel Laureate," recipient of basically every award and grant literary America has to offer (except the Guggenheim88 a fact which seems to plague him, and pops up in a footnote apropos of nothing, as if it had thrust itself to the surface of the story in subconscious fury), is "known in American literary circles as 'the poet's poet' or sometimes simply 'the Poet,' " and he is truly selfhood experienced in its unbearable fullness. We get a meticulous description of his self, the exact spot in which he sits (in a lounger, by a pool, in a garden), as well as his exact coordinate in relation to the sun (as if it revolved around him). In short (well, in two gigantic recursive sentences), Wallace annihilates him. G.o.d help the man who has chosen to wors.h.i.+p himself! Whose self really a fact which seems to plague him, and pops up in a footnote apropos of nothing, as if it had thrust itself to the surface of the story in subconscious fury), is "known in American literary circles as 'the poet's poet' or sometimes simply 'the Poet,' " and he is truly selfhood experienced in its unbearable fullness. We get a meticulous description of his self, the exact spot in which he sits (in a lounger, by a pool, in a garden), as well as his exact coordinate in relation to the sun (as if it revolved around him). In short (well, in two gigantic recursive sentences), Wallace annihilates him. G.o.d help the man who has chosen to wors.h.i.+p himself! Whose self really is is no more than the awards he has won, the prestige he has earned, the wealth he has ama.s.sed. In our last glimpse of the Poet he is surrounded by his expensive shrubbery, which is "motionless green vivid and inescapable and not like anything else in the world in either appearance and suggestion." A footnote adds: "That is not wholly true." Green, vivid, motionless, inescapable? Sounds like money to me. no more than the awards he has won, the prestige he has earned, the wealth he has ama.s.sed. In our last glimpse of the Poet he is surrounded by his expensive shrubbery, which is "motionless green vivid and inescapable and not like anything else in the world in either appearance and suggestion." A footnote adds: "That is not wholly true." Green, vivid, motionless, inescapable? Sounds like money to me.

In The Gift, The Gift, a book that meant a lot to Wallace, the cultural anthropologist Lewis Hyde examines the different modes in which cultures and individuals deal with the concept of gifts and giving. He offers a fine description of the kind of swollen self we find in "Death Is Not the End": "The narcissist feels his gifts come from himself. He works to display himself, not to suffer change." The father in "On His Deathbed, Holding Your Hand" makes a similar judgment about his Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright son: he is appalled by his (i.e., the son's) sense of his own " a book that meant a lot to Wallace, the cultural anthropologist Lewis Hyde examines the different modes in which cultures and individuals deal with the concept of gifts and giving. He offers a fine description of the kind of swollen self we find in "Death Is Not the End": "The narcissist feels his gifts come from himself. He works to display himself, not to suffer change." The father in "On His Deathbed, Holding Your Hand" makes a similar judgment about his Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright son: he is appalled by his (i.e., the son's) sense of his own "limitless gifts unquote" and the admiration they arouse in everyone: unquote" and the admiration they arouse in everyone: As if he actually deserved deserved this sort of-as if it were the most natural thing in the world. . . .-as if this sort of love were this sort of-as if it were the most natural thing in the world. . . .-as if this sort of love were due due him, itself of nature, inevitable as the sunrise, never a thought, never a moment's doubt that he deserves it all and more. The very thought of it chokes me. How many years he took from us. Our Gift. Genitive, ablative, nominative-the accidence of "gift." him, itself of nature, inevitable as the sunrise, never a thought, never a moment's doubt that he deserves it all and more. The very thought of it chokes me. How many years he took from us. Our Gift. Genitive, ablative, nominative-the accidence of "gift."

To Wallace, a gift truly was an accident; a chance, a fortuitous circ.u.mstance. Born intelligent, born with perfect pitch, with mathematical ability, with a talent for tennis-in what sense are we ever the proprietors of these blessings? What rights accrue to us because of them? How could we ever claim to truly own them?

It's very interesting to me that this att.i.tude toward gifts should have within it a current that is strongly anti-American, being both contra "rights" and contra "owners.h.i.+p." I've always had the sense, philosophically speaking, that Wallace's ethical ideas were profoundly un-American: he had more in common with the philosophical current that runs from Kant's "realm of ends" through Simone Weils "sacred humans" and on to John Rawls's "veil of ignorance,"89 than the Hobbes/Smith/Locke waters from which the idea of America was drawn. Wallace's work rejects "goal-directed" philosophies of human happiness, both because they isolate the self (the pursuit of happiness is a pursuit we undertake alone) and because this Western obsession with happiness as a goal makes people childishly "pain-averse," allergic to the one quality that is, in Wallace's view, the true constant of human life: "Look at utilitarianism . . . and you see a whole teleology predicated on the idea that the best human life is one that maximizes the pleasure-to-pain ratio. G.o.d, I know this sounds priggish of me. All I'm saying is that it's shortsighted to blame TV. It's simply another symptom. TV didn't invent our aesthetic childishness here any more than the Manhattan Project invented aggression . . . " His stories repel the idea that a just society can come from the contract made between self-interested or egoistic individuals, or that it is one's "personhood" that guarantees one a bigger slice of the pie. (The fat poet's talents or personal merits can't make him more worthy than anyone else.) than the Hobbes/Smith/Locke waters from which the idea of America was drawn. Wallace's work rejects "goal-directed" philosophies of human happiness, both because they isolate the self (the pursuit of happiness is a pursuit we undertake alone) and because this Western obsession with happiness as a goal makes people childishly "pain-averse," allergic to the one quality that is, in Wallace's view, the true constant of human life: "Look at utilitarianism . . . and you see a whole teleology predicated on the idea that the best human life is one that maximizes the pleasure-to-pain ratio. G.o.d, I know this sounds priggish of me. All I'm saying is that it's shortsighted to blame TV. It's simply another symptom. TV didn't invent our aesthetic childishness here any more than the Manhattan Project invented aggression . . . " His stories repel the idea that a just society can come from the contract made between self-interested or egoistic individuals, or that it is one's "personhood" that guarantees one a bigger slice of the pie. (The fat poet's talents or personal merits can't make him more worthy than anyone else.) And in a few extreme cases, Wallace's stories go further, lining up behind a quasi-mystic such as Weil, who, like the Buddhists, abandons "Personhood" entirely: "What is sacred in a human being is the impersonal in him. . . . Our personality is the part of us which belongs to error and sin. The whole effort of the mystic has always been to become such that there is no part left in his soul to say 'I'."90 Consequently, the statement Consequently, the statement You have no right to hurt me You have no right to hurt me is to Weil meaningless, for rights are a concept that attaches to "personhood" and one person can always feel their "rights" to be more rightful that another's. is to Weil meaningless, for rights are a concept that attaches to "personhood" and one person can always feel their "rights" to be more rightful that another's. What you are doing to me is not just What you are doing to me is not just-this, for Weil, is the correct and sacred phrase. "The spirit of justice and truth is nothing else," she writes, "but a certain kind of attention, which is pure love."



Isn't it exactly this this "certain kind of attention" that Wallace explores in B.I. #20 (sometimes known as The Granola Cruncher)? It is the darkest story in the collection, "certain kind of attention" that Wallace explores in B.I. #20 (sometimes known as The Granola Cruncher)? It is the darkest story in the collection,91 and it has an extreme setup, even by Wallace's standards: a hippie girl, viciously raped by a psychopath, decides to create, in the middle of the act, a "soul connection" with her rapist because she "believes that sufficient love and focus can penetrate even psychosis and evil." In the process she is able to forget herself, and focus on and it has an extreme setup, even by Wallace's standards: a hippie girl, viciously raped by a psychopath, decides to create, in the middle of the act, a "soul connection" with her rapist because she "believes that sufficient love and focus can penetrate even psychosis and evil." In the process she is able to forget herself, and focus on his his misery-even to feel pity for him. But this all happened some time ago: when the story opens we are being retold it as an anecdote by a man who has himself heard it as anecdote: misery-even to feel pity for him. But this all happened some time ago: when the story opens we are being retold it as an anecdote by a man who has himself heard it as anecdote: B.I. #20 12-96NEW HAVEN CT"And yet I did not fall in love with her until she had related the story of the unbelievably horrifying incident in which she was brutally accosted and held captive and very nearly killed."

New Haven? A recently graduated Yalie, perhaps. Definitely overeducated, supercilious, and full, initially, of bombastic opinions about the girl, whom he picked up at a festival as a "strictly one night objective," because she had a s.e.xy body ("Her face was a bit strange") and because he thought it would be easy. She's an open book to him-he feels he can read her easily: What one might call a quote Granola Cruncher, or post-Hippie, New Ager, what have you . . . comprising the prototypical sandals, unrefined fibers, daffy arcane, emotional incontinence, flamboyantly long hair, extreme liberality on social issues . . . and using the, well the quote L-word itself several times without irony or even any evident awareness that the word has through tactical over-deployment become trite and requires invisible quotes around it now at the very least.

She is an object on which to exert his superiority. A body from which his own body will take its pleasure. In the event, though, her strange postcoital anecdote unnerves and destabilizes him: she tells her story of extraordinary focus with with extraordinary focus and he (like one of Henry James's ideal readers) finds his own fine awareness stimulated by hers: extraordinary focus and he (like one of Henry James's ideal readers) finds his own fine awareness stimulated by hers: I found myself hearing expressions like fear gripping her soul, fear gripping her soul, unquote, less as televisual cliches or melodrama but as sincere if not particularly artful attempts to describe what it must have felt like, the feelings of shock and unreality alternating with waves of pure terror. unquote, less as televisual cliches or melodrama but as sincere if not particularly artful attempts to describe what it must have felt like, the feelings of shock and unreality alternating with waves of pure terror.

But there is something chilling in both his modes of processing her experience. First it is "televisual cliche"; then something so unexpectedly real he becomes desirous of her precisely because because of it, seeing, perhaps, in her realness, a way of becoming real himself. But when did the real become unexpected? When did we become so inured to the real that it gathered around it this strange of it, seeing, perhaps, in her realness, a way of becoming real himself. But when did the real become unexpected? When did we become so inured to the real that it gathered around it this strange aura aura? In the age of mechanical reproduction, prophesized Walter Benjamin, a painting such as the Mona Lisa Mona Lisa will lose its aura: the more cheap postcards we make of her, the more she will disappear. But he was wrong-it turned out the erotic logic of capital worked the other way around. Her authentic aura increased. So what happens to the authentic aura of, say, "fear" when you've seen a thousand women scream on TV? Wallace's answer is frightening: we're so deadened by the flat televisual repet.i.tion of all our human emotions, we have begun to fetis.h.i.+ze "real" feelings, will lose its aura: the more cheap postcards we make of her, the more she will disappear. But he was wrong-it turned out the erotic logic of capital worked the other way around. Her authentic aura increased. So what happens to the authentic aura of, say, "fear" when you've seen a thousand women scream on TV? Wallace's answer is frightening: we're so deadened by the flat televisual repet.i.tion of all our human emotions, we have begun to fetis.h.i.+ze "real" feelings, especially especially real pain. It's as if we've stopped believing in reality-only extremity can make us feel again. And here is extremity, and the man suddenly real pain. It's as if we've stopped believing in reality-only extremity can make us feel again. And here is extremity, and the man suddenly feels. feels. He is there with her, in her moment of "soul-connection." So are we. "Have you ever heard of He is there with her, in her moment of "soul-connection." So are we. "Have you ever heard of the couvade the couvade?" he asks his therapist, and in the usual nonresponse we become aware of this story's triplicate act of empathy: ours for the girl via the man's anecdote, his for the girl via her her anecdote, the girl's for the rapist via the experience itself. In the couvade, a man feels his wife's pregnancy: a porous border. In this story, several borders feel porous at once. The man is able to feel the "fathomless sadness" of the rapist; we, as readers, aggressively challenged by the very setup (a woman anecdote, the girl's for the rapist via the experience itself. In the couvade, a man feels his wife's pregnancy: a porous border. In this story, several borders feel porous at once. The man is able to feel the "fathomless sadness" of the rapist; we, as readers, aggressively challenged by the very setup (a woman pities pities her rapist?), begin by sharing the skepticism of the Yalie, but as we move toward him, he moves away from us to a place where he is capable of believing her. The anecdote has created a force field of fine awareness around it. Through the man's attempts to appropriate it, and our own need to judge it, Wallace manages to create a sense of its sacred otherness. Evidence of one woman's capacity for the L word, perhaps, but not something we can turn to our own devices, not a story we can own. her rapist?), begin by sharing the skepticism of the Yalie, but as we move toward him, he moves away from us to a place where he is capable of believing her. The anecdote has created a force field of fine awareness around it. Through the man's attempts to appropriate it, and our own need to judge it, Wallace manages to create a sense of its sacred otherness. Evidence of one woman's capacity for the L word, perhaps, but not something we can turn to our own devices, not a story we can own.

The Granola Cruncher is one of the few people in Brief Interviews Brief Interviews not using another person as an example or as an object or as a piece of "moral gymnastic equipment." She exists in a quite different moral realm from the manipulator who uses his deformed arm, his "flipper," as bait to "catch" sympathetic women who then sleep with him, or the guy who twists Viktor Frankl's holocaust memoir, not using another person as an example or as an object or as a piece of "moral gymnastic equipment." She exists in a quite different moral realm from the manipulator who uses his deformed arm, his "flipper," as bait to "catch" sympathetic women who then sleep with him, or the guy who twists Viktor Frankl's holocaust memoir, Man's Search for Meaning, Man's Search for Meaning, into a perverse apologia for destroying another human being. (Frankl's therapeutic school, logotherapy, explores the idea that selves in an extreme state of personal degradation or loss are often better able to comprehend what is really meaningful. But this, of course, does not mean you create a second holocaust in order to generate meaning.) Most of Wallace's people refuse, even for a moment, to give up the self. They have been taught "that a self is something you just have," like you have a car, or a house, or a bank account. But selves are not consumer items, and the journey to becoming "a f.u.c.king human being" is one that lasts as long as our lives: "The horrific struggle to establish a human self results in a self whose humanity is inseparable from that horrific struggle. . . . Our endless and impossible journey toward home is in fact our home." Those quotes are from a talk Wallace gave on Franz Kafka, another writer for whom he felt a deep affinity. Their connection is not obvious at the level of sentence but their deep currents run parallel: the attachment to parables, the horror of the self in its fullness (think of the cipher Georg das.h.i.+ng from his charismatic father in "The Judgment," vaulting over that bridge), the dream of self-less-ness. And despite their attempts to root themselves in "relations.h.i.+ps between persons" they both expressed a longing for the infinite, which is nothing and is nowhere and is endless. Throughout this essay, which I began writing when Wallace was alive, I have defined that longing as purely philosophical-events have shown this to be wishful thinking on my part. The story "Suicide as a Sort of Present" now inevitably resonates beyond itself, but it is also the same story it always was: a reminder that there exist desperate souls who feel that their nonexistence, in the literal sense, would be a gift to those around them. We must a.s.sume that David was one of them. into a perverse apologia for destroying another human being. (Frankl's therapeutic school, logotherapy, explores the idea that selves in an extreme state of personal degradation or loss are often better able to comprehend what is really meaningful. But this, of course, does not mean you create a second holocaust in order to generate meaning.) Most of Wallace's people refuse, even for a moment, to give up the self. They have been taught "that a self is something you just have," like you have a car, or a house, or a bank account. But selves are not consumer items, and the journey to becoming "a f.u.c.king human being" is one that lasts as long as our lives: "The horrific struggle to establish a human self results in a self whose humanity is inseparable from that horrific struggle. . . . Our endless and impossible journey toward home is in fact our home." Those quotes are from a talk Wallace gave on Franz Kafka, another writer for whom he felt a deep affinity. Their connection is not obvious at the level of sentence but their deep currents run parallel: the attachment to parables, the horror of the self in its fullness (think of the cipher Georg das.h.i.+ng from his charismatic father in "The Judgment," vaulting over that bridge), the dream of self-less-ness. And despite their attempts to root themselves in "relations.h.i.+ps between persons" they both expressed a longing for the infinite, which is nothing and is nowhere and is endless. Throughout this essay, which I began writing when Wallace was alive, I have defined that longing as purely philosophical-events have shown this to be wishful thinking on my part. The story "Suicide as a Sort of Present" now inevitably resonates beyond itself, but it is also the same story it always was: a reminder that there exist desperate souls who feel that their nonexistence, in the literal sense, would be a gift to those around them. We must a.s.sume that David was one of them.

In the end, the truly sublime and frightening moments in Brief Interviews Brief Interviews do not involve families jos.h.i.+ng each other in Italian restaurants. When he offers his readers generous, healthy interpersonal relations as a route out of "the postmodern trap," well, that's the responsible moral philosopher in him. But the real mystery and magic lies in those quasi-mystical moments, portraits of extreme focus and total relinquishment. We might feel more comfortable calling this "meditation," but I believe the right word is in fact do not involve families jos.h.i.+ng each other in Italian restaurants. When he offers his readers generous, healthy interpersonal relations as a route out of "the postmodern trap," well, that's the responsible moral philosopher in him. But the real mystery and magic lies in those quasi-mystical moments, portraits of extreme focus and total relinquishment. We might feel more comfortable calling this "meditation," but I believe the right word is in fact prayer. prayer. What else is the man in "Think" doing when he falls on his knees and puts his hands together? What is the Granola Cruncher doing as the psychopath moves on top of her? What is the boy in "Forever Overhead" doing just before he dives? It's true that this is prayer unmoored, without its usual object, G.o.d, but it is still focused, self-forgetful, and moving in an outward direction toward the unfathomable (which the mystic will argue What else is the man in "Think" doing when he falls on his knees and puts his hands together? What is the Granola Cruncher doing as the psychopath moves on top of her? What is the boy in "Forever Overhead" doing just before he dives? It's true that this is prayer unmoored, without its usual object, G.o.d, but it is still focused, self-forgetful, and moving in an outward direction toward the unfathomable (which the mystic will argue is is G.o.d). It is the L word, at work in the world. Wallace understood better than most that for the secular among us, art has become our best last hope of undergoing this experience. G.o.d). It is the L word, at work in the world. Wallace understood better than most that for the secular among us, art has become our best last hope of undergoing this experience.

"Church Not Made with Hands" is a gift of this kind. It is about about extreme focus and it extreme focus and it requires requires extreme focus. In its climactic scene, a priest kneels praying in front of a picture of himself praying, which feels like the ultimate DFW image, as DeLillo's most-photographed barn holds within it something of the essential DeLillo. "Church Not Made with Hands" is my favorite gift in a book laden with them. I think that must be why I'm loathe to take it apart as I have the others. More than any other story in extreme focus. In its climactic scene, a priest kneels praying in front of a picture of himself praying, which feels like the ultimate DFW image, as DeLillo's most-photographed barn holds within it something of the essential DeLillo. "Church Not Made with Hands" is my favorite gift in a book laden with them. I think that must be why I'm loathe to take it apart as I have the others. More than any other story in Brief Interviews Brief Interviews it seals its doors tightly and the joy for each reader will come in finding the keys that fit the locks-and who's to say your keys you will be the same as mine? Still, here are a few of mine, in case you feel like picking them up. it seals its doors tightly and the joy for each reader will come in finding the keys that fit the locks-and who's to say your keys you will be the same as mine? Still, here are a few of mine, in case you feel like picking them up.

[image]Giorgio de Chirico painted what he called "metaphysical town squares." They are full of exquisite renderings of shadow.[image]The intense colors of a Soutine. In fact, colors generally. Count them.[image]In volume five of A la recherche du temps perdu A la recherche du temps perdu, the novelist Bergotte dies while standing in a gallery, looking at Vermeer's View of Delft. View of Delft. These are his last words: "That's how I ought to have written, my last books are too dry, I ought to have gone over them with a few layers of color, made my language precious in itself." These are his last words: "That's how I ought to have written, my last books are too dry, I ought to have gone over them with a few layers of color, made my language precious in itself."[image]Just before a partial eclipse, the wind rises. And another thing happens, too: shadow bands (also known as flying shadows) appear, making the ground look like the bottom of a swimming pool.[image]Solar eclipse. The Nazca Lines in Peru. "Eye in the sky."[image]"The screen breaths mint"? A confessional box. A priest chewing gum.[image]From the OED: OED:p.r.o.nea. ORIGIN. French p.r.o.ne, the grating or railing separating the chancel of a church from the nave, where notices were given and addresses delivered.b. Ecclesiastical history. An exhortation or homily delivered in church. Also, prayers, exhortations, etc., attached to a sermon.c. Adjective & adverb. Directed or sloping downward. Also loosely, descending steeply or vertically, headlong.d. Facing downward; bending forward and downward; lying face downward or on the belly; spec. (of the hand or forelimb) with the palm downwards or backwards and the radius and ulna crossed. Later also loosely, lying flat.[image]From the OED: OED:Apse, ApsisAstronomy: Either of the two points in the elliptical orbit of a planet or other body at which it is respectively nearest to and furthest from the primary about which it revolves. Architecture. A large semicircular or polygonal structure, often roofed with a semi-dome, situated esp. at the end of the choir, nave, or an aisle of a church.[image]A song by The Waterboys C. S. Lewis. Shadowlands Shadowlands A Grief Observed. Death[image]Acts 17:24: G.o.d dwelleth not in temples made with hands. G.o.d dwelleth not in temples made with hands.[image]Acts 7:48: Howbeit the most High dwelleth not in temples made with hands? Howbeit the most High dwelleth not in temples made with hands?[image]DAVID FOSTER WALLACE 1962-2008

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS.

Zora Neale Hurston: What Does Soulful Soulful Mean?" was originally conceived as an introduction for the Virago edition of Mean?" was originally conceived as an introduction for the Virago edition of Their Eyes Were Watching G.o.d Their Eyes Were Watching G.o.d and appeared subsequently in a revised version in and appeared subsequently in a revised version in The Guardian. The Guardian. "Middlemarch and Everybody" and "Hepburn and Garbo" were first published in "Middlemarch and Everybody" and "Hepburn and Garbo" were first published in The Guardian. The Guardian. "E. M. Forster: Middle Manager," "F. Kafka, Everyman" and "Two Directions for the Novel" were published in "E. M. Forster: Middle Manager," "F. Kafka, Everyman" and "Two Directions for the Novel" were published in The New York Review of Books. The New York Review of Books. "Speaking in Tongues" was given as the 2008 Robert B. Silvers Lecture at the New York Public Library and published in a revised version by "Speaking in Tongues" was given as the 2008 Robert B. Silvers Lecture at the New York Public Library and published in a revised version by The New York Review of Books. The New York Review of Books. "That Crafty Feeling" was given as a lecture at Columbia University, commissioned by Ben Marcus, and later published in "That Crafty Feeling" was given as a lecture at Columbia University, commissioned by Ben Marcus, and later published in The Believer. The Believer. A revised version appears here. "One Week in Liberia" was the fruit of a trip organized and funded by Oxfam. It was published by A revised version appears here. "One Week in Liberia" was the fruit of a trip organized and funded by Oxfam. It was published by The Observer. The Observer. "At the Multiplex, 2006" and "Notes on Oscar Weekend" were published by "At the Multiplex, 2006" and "Notes on Oscar Weekend" were published by The Sunday Telegraph The Sunday Telegraph. "Accidental Hero" appeared in a short version in The Sunday Telegraph The Sunday Telegraph and appears in full here. "Smith Family Christmas" was commissioned by and appears in full here. "Smith Family Christmas" was commissioned by The New York Times The New York Times and "Dead Man Laughing" was published by and "Dead Man Laughing" was published by The New Yorker. The New Yorker. "Rereading Barthes and Nabokov" began life as a lecture, given at Harvard University, although it has been revised so extensively almost nothing of the original remains. "Rereading Barthes and Nabokov" began life as a lecture, given at Harvard University, although it has been revised so extensively almost nothing of the original remains.

I am grateful to my editors, Simon Prosser and Ann G.o.doff, and to my agent, Georgia Garrett, for all their efforts on my behalf over the past ten years. For the help and advice I received on individual essays I thank Devorah Baum, Tom Bissell, Mark Costello, Hadley Freeman, Bret Gladstone, Mary Karr, Lee Klein, Cressida Leyshon, Lee Rourke, Lorin Stein, Martina Testa, Adam Thirlwell and Sunil Yapa. Particular thanks to Bob Silvers for sending interesting books and projects my way, and for so many ingenious edits. Special thanks to Lysbeth Holdaway for her guidance in Liberia.

My greatest debt, as ever, is to Nick Laird, my best reader and fiercest editor. Your work on this book-and support of its author-were essential.

INDEX.

Aczel, Edward Adams, J. Donald Adam's Rib (film) (film) Adomitis, Dan "Adult World" (Wallace) Alix, Patrick Allen, Woody American Colonization Society Americo-Liberians (Congos) Amis, Kingsley Amis, Martin Anna Karenina (film) (film) Another Country (Baldwin) (Baldwin) Antonioni, Michelangelo Apicella, Tina Aristotle Arnold, Matthew Ash Wednesday (Eliot) (Eliot) Astaire, Fred Atrocity Exhibition, The (Ballard) (Ballard) Auden, W. H.

Austen, Jane authenticity Author death of lack of control of as modern figure privilege of Autograph Man, The (Smith) (Smith) Bacall, Lauren Baez, Joan Baldwin, James Ballard, J. G.

Balzac, Honore de Bana, Eric Barth, John Barthelme, Donald Barthes, Roland as left wing on modernity of concept of author see also Author, death of Author, death of Bauer, Felice BBC Talks of E. M. Forster, The Beckett, Samuel Begley, Louis Bellissima (film) (film) Bellow, Saul Benjamin, Walter Bennet, Elizabeth (char.) Bhagavad Gita Billy Budd (Melville) (Melville) Blasetti, Alessandro Bleak House (d.i.c.kens) (d.i.c.kens) "Blood Donor, The,"

Blood on the Tracks (alb.u.m) (alb.u.m) Bluest Eye, The (Morrison) (Morrison) Bogart, Humphrey Borges, Jorge Luis Bovary, Emma (char.) Boyd, Valerie Brief Encounter (film) (film) Brief Interviews with Hideous Men (Wallace) (Wallace) bad reviews of #2.

#20.

#42.

#48.

#59.

Brod, Max Brokeback Mountain (film) (film) Brooke, Dorothea (char.) Brownell, John Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV show) (TV show) Byron, George Gordon, Lord Camille (film) (film) Capote, Truman Capote (film) (film) "Cares of a Family Man, The" (Kafka) Carver, Raymond Casanova (film) (film) Cash, Johnny Ca.s.savetes, John Causabon (char.) Cherry Orchard, The (Chekhov) (Chekhov) Chicago (film) (film) Chomsky, Noam "Christabel" (Coleridge) Christie, Agatha Christopher Strong (film) (film) "Church Not Made with Hands" (Wallace) Citizen Kane (film) (film) Clooney, George Close Encounters of the Third Kind (film) (film) "Coeur Simple, Un" (Flaubert) Colbert, Claudette Coleman, Ella Coleridge, Samuel Taylor Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (film) (film) Congos Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, A (film) (film) Conneh, Abraham Paye constructive deconstruction Conversations with Kafka (Janouch) (Janouch) Coover, Robert Coupland, Douglas Craig, Daniel Crawford, Joan cricket Critchley, Simon Crosby, Bing Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (film) (film) Cukor, George Damon, Matt Dangerous Liaisons Date Movie (film) (film) "Datum Centurio" (Wallace) Davis, Bette de Acosta, Mercedes "Dead Parrot" sketch "Death of the Author, The" (Barthes) "Death Is Not the End" (Wallace) "Death of Ivan Ilyich, The" (Tolstoy) de Chirico, Giorgio Defense Ministry, Liberian Deleuze, Gilles DeLillo, Don De Niro, Robert Denzil (uncle) "Depressed Person, The" (Wallace) Derrida, Jacques De Sica, Vittorio "Devil Is a Busy Man, The" (Wallace) DiCaprio, Leonardo d.i.c.kens, Charles d.i.c.kinson, Goldsworthy Lowes Didion, Joan Dietrich, Marlene "Dockery and Son" (Larkin) Doe, Samuel Do I Really Have to Communicate with You?

Don Bosco Homes Doolittle, Eliza (char.) Dostoyevsky, Fyodor Dreams from My Father (Obama) (Obama) Dust Tracks on a Road (Hurston) (Hurston) Dylan, Bob Easy Cliche and Tired Stereotype Edinburgh Festival Fringe Edward R. Murrow: An American Original (Persico) (Persico) Eliot, George advice given by experience and journal of religious views of romantic failings of as writer of ideas Eliot, T. S.

Eliser d'amore' (opera) (opera) Ellis, Bret Easton Elphinstone, Major Emerson, George (char.) "Enactor" (char.) "End and the Beginning, The" (Szymborska) End of History and the Last Man, The (f.u.kuyuma) (f.u.kuyuma) E. T. (film) (film) Ethics (Spinoza) (Spinoza) Evans, Marian. See See Eliot, George Eliot, George Everything and More: A Compact History of Infinity (Wallace) (Wallace) Failure to Launch (film) (film) Faith of My Fathers (McCain) (McCain) Fawlty Towers (TV show) (TV show) Fellini, Federico Finnegans Wake (Joyce) (Joyce) Firestone Fitzgerald, F. Scott Flaubert, Gustave Flesh and the Devil (film) (film) Flomo, John "Forever Overhead" (Wallace) Forster, E. M.

aesthetics of concept of audience of connection as theme of conversational tone in broadcasts of h.o.m.os.e.xuality of simplicity vs. complexity in social and political views of Foucault, Michel Frankl, Viktor Freud, Sigmund Freudianism Friedberg, Jason Gaddis, William Gaghan, Stephen Gaping Flaws Garbo, Greta Gardner, Ava Garth, Mary (char.) Genet, Jean Get Rich or Die Tryin' (film) (film) Ghanam, Kamal E.

Gift, The (Hyde) (Hyde) Gift, The (Nabokov) (Nabokov) Gilbert, John Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von Good Night, and Good Luck (film) (film) Goons, The Grable, Betty Grand Hotel (film) (film) Granola Cruncher (char.) Grant, Cary Gravity's Rainbow (Pynchon) (Pynchon) Great Escape, The (film) (film) Greenblatt, Stephen Greene, Graham Grizzly Man (film) (film) Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (film) (film) Gyllenhaal, Jake Haiti Hall, Maurice (char.) Hanc.o.c.k, Tony Hanc.o.c.k's Half Hour Hannigan, Alyson Hard Times (d.i.c.kens) (d.i.c.kens) Hayworth, Rita Health Ministry, Liberian Heidegger, Martin Henry, Thierry Hepburn, Audrey Hepburn, Katharine Oscar nominations of Herriton, Philip (char.) Hick.o.c.k, d.i.c.k Hicks, Amos (char.) Hidden (film) (film) Higgins, Henry (char.) High Society (film) (film) "High Windows" (Larkin) History of Western Philosophy (Russell) (Russell) Hitchc.o.c.k, Alfred Hoffman, Philip Seymour Hofmann, Michael Holdaway, Lysbeth Homer Honeychurch, Lucy (char.) Howards End (Forster) (Forster) How Not to Dress Huffman, Felicity "Human Personality" (Weil) Hurston, Zora Neal "I'm Walking Backwards for Christmas" (song) In Cold Blood (film) (film) Infinite Jest (Wallace) (Wallace) International Necronautical Society (INS) Iraq War Isherwood, Christopher "It's All Over Now, Baby Blue" (song) "It's Too Late" (song) Jack, Richard S.

Jackson, Curtis "50 Cent,"

Jackson, Jesse James, Henry Janaek, Leoo Jane Eyre (Bronte) (Bronte) Janie (char.) Jealousy (Robbe-Grillet) (Robbe-Grillet) Jesenska, Milena Jews Johnson-Sirleaf, Ellen "Joint Statement of Inauthenticity, The,"

Jolie, Angelina Joyce, James "Judgment, The" (Kafka) Kael, Pauline Kafka, Franz as allegedly self-hating Jew Brod's friends.h.i.+p with brothels visited by descriptions of diary of letters of organization of day of and request for burning of work revision of ideas on time in unconventionality of on women at work Kant, Immanuel Keats, John Kelly, Grace Kennedy, Robert Kiedis, Anthony King, Carole King, Martin Luther "Kubla Khan" (Coleridge) Kundera, Milan Kushner, Tony Ladislaw (char.) Lakes, The Lancaster, Burt Larkin, Philip Lawrence. H.

League of Nations Lean, David Lectures on Literature (Nabokov) (Nabokov) Ledger, Heath Lee, Harper Lennon, John Lermontov, Mikhail Letter to My Father (Kafka) (Kafka) Lewes, George Li, Gong Liberia civil war in education in ex-combatants in independence declared by 1980 coup in poverty in rubber workers in UN s.e.x abuse scandal in Liberia Baptist Theological Seminary Liberia: The Heart of Darkness "Literary World, The" (Larkin) Little Women (film) (film) Lloyd, David Locke, John logotherapy Lolita (Nabokov) (Nabokov) Lydgate, Dr. (char.) Lynch, David Macaulay, Rose Macaulay, Thomas McCain, John MacCarthy, Desmond McCarthy, Joseph McCarthy, Tom Macro Planners Magic Flute, The (d.i.c.kinson) (d.i.c.kinson) Magnani, Anna Malinke tribes Mamba Point Hotel Mansfield, Katherine Mansfield Park (Austen) (Austen) Man's Search for Meaning (Frankl) (Frankl) Marshall, Rob Martin, Steve Matrix trilogy trilogy Maugham, Somerset Maurice (Forster) (Forster) Mayer, Louis B.

Melville, Herman Memoirs of a Geisha (film) (film) Men in s.p.a.ce (McCarthy) (McCarthy) metafiction Micro Managers Middlemarch (Eliot) (Eliot) authorial attention in subjectivity of Milton, John Miss Brooke (Eliot) (Eliot) Mittal Steel Monroe, Marilyn Monty Python's Life of Brian (film) (film) Morecambe and Wise Moss, Annie Motion, Andrew Mozart, Wolfgang Amadeus Munich (film) (film) Murrow, Edward R.

Nabokov, Vera Nabokov, Vladimir artistic style of authorial privilege and on Gregor Samsa on inspiration on knowledge of reality on subjectivity Naipaul. S.

"Natural Woman" (song) Negative Capability neorealismo Netherland (O'Neill) (O'Neill) Neugroschel, Joachim Newbolt, Henry New Yorker New York Times Book Review Nimba Ninotchka (film) (film) "No More Parades" (Amis) Normandy nouveau roman novels: architecture of editing of first twenty pages of future of middle of proofs of scaffolding of Obama, Barack Oblivion (Wallace) (Wallace) obsessive perspective disorder (OPD) Ocean's Eleven (film) (film) Ocean's Twelve (film) (film) "Octet" (Wallace) Office, The (TV show) (TV show) "Old Fools, The" (Larkin) On Beauty (Smith) (Smith) One Day in September (film) (film) "On His Deathbed, Holding Your Hand" (Wallace) Oscars Oxfam Pale King, The (Wallace) (Wallace) Paltrow, Gwyneth Parker, Dorothy Pat and Mike (film) (film) Paynesville School Perec, Georges Pere Goriot (Balzac) (Balzac) Perkins, Maxwell Pervert's Guide to Cinema (iek) (iek) Pessoa, Fernando Antonio Nogueia Philadelphia Story, The (film) (film) "Philosophical Investigations" (Wittgenstein) Phoenix, Joaquin Pica.s.so, Pablo Pickering, Colonel (char.) Plath, Sylvia Plato Pleasure of the Text, The (Barthes) (Barthes) Pnin (Nabokov) (Nabokov) Pniniad (Diment) (Diment) Pope, Alexander Portman, Natalie poshl.u.s.t Pretty Woman (film) (film) Pride and Prejudice (Austen) (Austen) Princess Casama.s.sima, The (James) (James) Proof (film) (film) Pygmalion (Shaw) (Shaw) Pynchon, Thomas Queen Christina (film) (film) Queen Victoria (Strachey) (Strachey) Ramkissoon, Chuck readers, reading: as creative ideal pleasures of Rear Window "Reenactor" (char.) Remainder (McCarthy) (McCarthy) self-ridiculing humor of s.p.a.ce in "Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner, The" (Coleridge) Robbe-Grillet, Alain Romance & Cigarettes (film) (film) Room with a View, A (Forster) (Forster) Roth, Philip Rush, Geoffrey Sade, Marquis de Saga of Gosta Berling, The (film) (film) Samsa, Gregor (char.) Samways, Phil Sartre, Jean-Paul Saving Private Ryan (film) (film) Scaife, Bert Scudder, Alex (char.) See It Now (TV show) (TV show) "Self's the Man" (Larkin) Selznick, David O.

Sentimental Education, A (Flaubert) (Flaubert) Seraph on the Suwanee (Hurston) (Hurston) Shakespeare, William Shaw, George Bernard Shopgirl (film) (film) Sierra Leone "Signifying Nothing" (Wallace) "Silly Novels by Lady Novelists" (Eliot) Smith, Ben comedy act of Smith, Harvey ashes of background of comedy enjoyed by death of fatalism and pessimism of in World War II, Smith, Luke Smith, Perry solipsism Spielberg, Steven Spinoza, Baruch Starks, Joe (char.) Stewart, Jimmy Stiller, Mauritz Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (film) (film) Strong Opinions (Nabokov) (Nabokov) Suddenly, Last Summer (film) (film) "Suicide as a Sort of Present" (Wallace) Sunday Telegraph Sylvia Scarlett (film) (film) Syriana (film) (film) S/Z (Barthes) (Barthes) Szymborska, Wislawa Tapestry (alb.u.m) (alb.u.m) Taylor, Charles text: codes in indeterminacy of readerly writerly Thalberg, Irving Their Eyes Were Watching G.o.d (Hurston) (Hurston) Theron, Charlize "Think" (Wallace) Thirlwell, Adam Tolbert, William Tolstoy, Leo "Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus" (Wittgenstein) Tracy, Spencer Traffic (film) (film) Transamerica (film) (film) Treadwell, Timothy Tremendous World I Have Inside My Head, The: Franz Kafka: A Biographical Essay (Begley) (Begley) Trial, The (Kafka) (Kafka) "Triple Dream, The" (Lermontov) "Tri-Stan: I Sold Sissee Nar to Ecko" (Wallace) True Whig Party Tsotsi (film) (film) Tubman, William Turturro, John Two-Faced Woman (film) (film) Two Ronnies Unity Temple Valentino, Rudolph Valery, Paul Vallon, Annette van den Broek, Hans (char.) van den Broek, Rachel (char.) Van Eyck, Hubert vdokhnovenie (recapture) (recapture) V for Vendetta (film) (film) Vincy, Fred (char.) Vincy, Rosamund (char.) Virgil Visconti, Luchino Vitti, Monica vorstog (initial rapture) (initial rapture) Vyas, Nazrul Ram (char.) Wade, Aubrey Walker, Alice Walk the Line (film) (film) Wallace, David Foster commencement speech of difficulties of insistence on awareness in work of Larkin's poetry and linguistic specialization in work of MacArthur won by parables of "self" in work of Wasteland, The (Eliot) (Eliot) Watanabe, Ken "Water" (Larkin) Waugh, Evelyn Weil, Simone Wells, H. G.

Werfel, Franz West Point "What I Believe" (broadcast) Where Angels Fear to Tread (Forster) (Forster) White Teeth (Smith) (Smith) Wide Sarga.s.so Sea (Rhys) (Rhys) Wilc.o.x, Henry (char.) Wilkerson, Mr.

Willesden Wilton, Penelope Witherspoon, Reese Wittgenstein, Ludwig Wodehouse, P. G.

Women and Children Development a.s.sociation of Liberia (WOCDAL) Women Love Diamonds (film) (film) Woods, Vergible "Tea Cake" (char.) Woolf, Virginia Wordsworth, William World Is Not Enough, The (film) (film) World War II World Wildlife Fund Wrapped in Rainbows: The Life of Zora Neale Hurston (Boyd) (Boyd) Wright, Frank Lloyd writers, writing: inspiration of pleasures of Wyllie, David Yates, Richard Yeats, William Butler Yeoh, Mich.e.l.le "Yet Another Example of the Porousness of Certain Borders (XI)" (Wallace) "You've Got a Friend" (song) Zaltzman, Andy Zellweger, Renee Zhang, Ziyi Zikeh, Nyan P.

Zischler, Hanns Ziek, Slavoj Zora Neale Hurston: A Life Letters Zurer, Ayelet

1.

But I still resist "limp and languid."

2.

Again, Middlemarch Middlemarch is an interesting comparison. Readers often prefer Lydgate and are disappointed at Dorothea's choice of Ladislaw. is an interesting comparison. Readers often prefer Lydgate and are disappointed at Dorothea's choice of Ladislaw.

3.

The (very good) biography is Wrapped in Rainbows: The Life of Zora Neal Wrapped in Rainbows: The Life of Zora Neale Hurston Hurston by Valerie Boyd. Also very good is by Valerie Boyd. Also very good is Zora Neale Hurston: A Life in Letters Zora Neale Hurston: A Life in Letters, collected and edited by Carla Kaplan.

4.

Dust Tracks on a Road is Hurston's autobiography. is Hurston's autobiography.

5.

All the critical voices quoted above can be found in Zora Neale Hurston's Zora Neale Hurston's Their Eyes Were Watching G.o.d: Their Eyes Were Watching G.o.d: Modern Critical Interpretations Modern Critical Interpretations, edited by Harold Bloom.

6.

Hurston, by contrast, wanted her writing to demonstrate the fact that "Negroes are no better nor no worse, and at times as boring as everybody else."

7.

Not least of which is Alice Walker's original introduction to Their Eyes Were Watching G.o.d Their Eyes Were Watching G.o.d. By championing the book, she rescued Hurston from forty years of obscurity.

8.

A footnote for the writers in the audience: Their Eyes Were Watching G.o.d Their Eyes Were Watching G.o.d was written in seven weeks. was written in seven weeks.

9.

See chapter 16 for a sad portrayal of a truly color-struck lady, Mrs. Turner.

10.

I think this was the point my mother was trying to make.

11.

Changing My Mind_ Occasional Essays Part 9

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