I Shouldn't Be Telling You This Part 4

10. Compliment your colleagues' winning ideas. It spreads goodwill. Don't, however, go overboard complimenting your boss's ideas. You'll seem like a major b.u.t.t kisser in front of your coworkers. You should, however, nod at her good comments, really taking them in, and smile when appropriate. Later, you can shoot your boss an e-mail and comment positively on the new strategy or ideas she suggested and say you are eager to implement them. She'll appreciate any additional thoughts you have.

{ 12 Ways to Get Buzzed About }.

These days it seems that people are always talking about buzz-the secrets of getting it, the importance of keeping it, the danger of losing it. I even gave the name Buzz to the celebrity magazine in the Bailey Weggins mystery series I write. (I hope you don't mind that I just gave a buzzy shout-out to something I do!) We often think of buzz now in regard to media-both traditional and social-but there's also tremendous value to good old-fas.h.i.+oned word of mouth.

Is buzz really necessary? Yup. It is if you want news to travel about you and/or what you do. And buzz isn't just for those in high-profile jobs. You want to start creating buzz about yourself now.

But you want the right kind of buzz for your field and your particular job. If you're a young a.s.sociate at a conservative law firm, for instance, you don't want party pictures of yourself in a drop-dead s.e.xy dress all over the Internet. But you do want people in the office buzzing about how sharp you are.

Pretty much everything I've learned about buzz has come from the absolutely amazing publicists I've worked with-not only publicists who represented the magazine I was running at the time or me as an author, but also lots of terrific Hollywood publicists. They include the woman brilliant enough to talk Hugh Grant into going on The Tonight Show and offering mea culpa after he was arrested for engaging in a lewd act with a prost.i.tute in 1995. Those talented gurus (mostly women but some men, too) have not only given me a glimpse of how buzz is created and kept alive but have also shared a few tips about quieting buzz when it's bad.

1. Start close to home. Yes, you want to be buzzed about in the outside world, but first and foremost you want your boss and coworkers to be gabbing about the awesome things you're doing.

2. Learn to take credit for your successes. This can be tough for women to do. And, yes, it can be tricky to strike the right balance. You want to make people aware of your latest accomplishment, but you don't want to sound desperately needy of praise.

One age-old strategy for not sounding too show-offy is to present your triumphs as part of a group effort. You burst into your boss's office and announce, "We did it! We figured out where the problem was." There's nothing wrong with that approach sometimes. It gets the big news across and makes everybody feel good. But if you always make it about "we," your boss may lose sight of exactly how much you're contributing.

How can you go there without sounding obnoxiously braggy? Try discussing your achievement in terms of the process that it involved. Bosses are often interested in the backstory of exploits and achievements-I know I am-because that info can prove helpful to them as they direct future efforts.

Perhaps you're in sales and you just landed business that involved a monumental effort on your part. You don't want to take your boss through every meeting you had with the client and every presentation you made, but perhaps the client revealed something surprising about the company's new direction, a detail you then used to help make the sale. That could be valuable for your boss to know. So tell her you have something important to share. Explain how you'd been trying to get the business for a while and finally, after snooping around, you found out this one critical piece of information. The client had no idea how your organization would be able to leverage it, so you did a presentation specifically around that. You want your boss to know because it's going to change how your company approaches the client in the future. She'll appreciate the insight, and indirectly you've given her a sense of how much you kicked b.u.t.t to get the business.

It's not easy to stand out when much of what you do is teamwork, so find ways to separate yourself from the pack. An up-and-coming female attorney told me, off the record, how she does this: "I've found the best way to make a name for yourself can be through nonbillable work, such as pro bono cases. You usually have a lot more responsibility on those cases, which translates into more opportunity to stand out. It's also a good idea to join committees, like the hiring committee or the a.s.sociates committee, and to volunteer for roles on them that make you a liaison to partners."

3. Develop a digital strategy. "That's one of the best ways to self-promote today," says Marisa Ollins, the director of public relations at Henri Bendel. "Start a website, a blog, a Twitter feed, a Tumblr feed."

If you don't own a Web domain name yet, get one. Your own name may still be available. Even if you don't plan to use a domain name right now, it doesn't cost much to keep the name, and then you'll have it when you need it someday. Sophia Stuart, the executive director, digital, at Hearst Magazines International, points out that if you only want to blog right now, you can use a blogging platform for free.

You want to be sure, however, that whatever you do digitally doesn't bite you in the b.u.t.t. According to Stuart, one of the smartest and safest strategies is to update your website or blog with fairly neutral material, such as the latest articles in your profession. "That way, she says, "you can be seen as a fabulous curator of news and views but careful about opinions."

Always check with your boss before doing a blog or website. Not every boss is cool with it, and it's not appropriate in many fields.

Should you tweet? Again, you have to be sure what's appropriate in your company, your department, and your field. You'll want to check with your boss first.

Twitter can be a real a.s.set if you take the time to do it right. Let's say you're just out of veterinary college and have started working as a vet at an animal clinic. You need buzz to build your business. With Twitter, you can create a hashtag such as "#healthypets" and regularly tweet helpful animal-care tips. This will create a clickable link where Twitter users are able to see who has been using that hashtag in their tweets and hopefully reply, thanking you for your advice. Ideally some will even decide to take their pet to you when it's time for a check-up. Websites such as www.hashtag.org track the frequency that a hashtag is used on Twitter and provides details about the hashtag.

Just as with blogs, it's possible to tweet without getting too personal. "Talk about the great speech you heard or the book you just read about leaders.h.i.+p," says Ollins.

You should also follow people on Twitter, particularly those who are in your line of business. They are probably tweeting about relevant trends, articles, and ideas that may be of interest to you and important for you to be aware of. Learn from their style of tweeting. What are they tweeting about? What seems important to them? For example, if you're an aspiring food blogger, you should be following other food bloggers, chefs, restaurant critics, restaurants, food publications, and so on.

And retweet. You should do this with any tweets from the reliable sources you are following. As an inspiring food blogger, you can retweet something from a food magazine editor because you think it might be interesting to your followers. This lets everyone know that you're keeping up with trends and want to be a.s.sociated with brands that can help your own. If the editor retweets nicely, you have now been exposed to all of his or her followers.

If you're not sure about how to use Twitter, there are books you can find online that provide all the info you need.

4. Be out there-in person. "Though Facebook and Twitter are important," says Zoe Weisberg Coady, a partner in Brandstyle Communications, "face-to-face time is still incredibly valuable. Talk to as many people as you can. Continue to do informational interviews. Tell people, 'I want to know as much as I can about your business.' " (See "Advanced Networking [Never Say You're Too Busy to Do It]" in part II.) 5. Volunteer to be on committees, task forces, and panels, both inside and outside your company. This not only exposes you to tons of new people but clues everybody in to your growing expertise on certain topics. And when you do it within your own company, it's a way to impress coworkers without seeming braggy. And stay active on LinkedIn. It's not just for when you're searching for a job.

6. Don't be a whiner. When you talk to people, frame what you say positively. If you trash-talk your job or your boss, even to people you think of as pals, that info can leak out and create a negative buzz about you. I mentioned earlier how a European company once purchased the magazine where I was working and suddenly everything was in a terrible upheaval. If I ever felt like whining, it was then. One day a Wall Street Journal reporter was invited to sit in on a meeting with me and the man now running the show. I knew it would be hard to disguise how dreadful I felt, but I told myself I had to. When the reporter got me alone for a moment, he told me, "This must be a hard time for you." "Actually," I told him with a smile, "I find it very exciting." That quote of mine ran, and the next day a headhunter called. I had sounded like a winner, not a whiner. Within a short time, I had a great new job.

7. Develop a signature look. Steal a page from the editors of fas.h.i.+on magazines. They get a certain hairstyle, for instance, and work it. If you do this, people will absolutely be more apt to notice you and remember you.

8. Start a "big-mouth" e-mail list. It should consist of former bosses, former coworkers whom you want to stay in touch with, anyone who has mentored you, people you've met who seem interested in your career. When you have important job news-such as a promotion-share it with this list.

9. Create a network of women who are mutually supportive and want to create buzz for one another. I heard this idea from Rach.e.l.le Hruska, the dynamic and gorgeous founder of Guest of a Guest, the online media site that features social news and tons of party pictures. "Women are far less likely to talk about their accomplishments than men," says Hruska. "Having supportive peers to boost you up makes it easier to brag without feeling badly about it. Why do women ever feel bad about bragging? Men don't seem to."

Hruska is part of Women in Tech, an e-mail chain group. "Just becoming aware of other women and their struggles in the workplace has inspired me in my own job," she notes. "I have stopped feeling badly about tweeting an accomplishment or asking for a favor to extend my brand further. If something similar doesn't exist in your field, start one. Find a handful of women peers and encourage them to invite more, and before you know it, you'll have a powerful support group that will be nominating you for your next big press story."

10. If you can't afford a publicist and must pitch something to the media yourself, develop a clear, precise strategy. "Good PR is not about a gazillion placements anymore," says Ollins, "or throwing a lot of stuff out there to see what sticks. That's the old way. Do your research and determine the key outlets that will make the most impact, and then customize your pitch just for them."

Over the years I've received pitch letters from hundreds of publicists and individuals who clearly had not taken a look at the magazine and had no idea what columns or features were carried. Your pitch will have a shot only if the outlet feels you get it and its needs.

And keep social media in mind when you write any kind of press releases. Use the best search optimization terms to help you pop up on Google.

11. Before you do a press interview, create your own call sheet. That is what publicists do for their clients. It lists the topic to be covered, contact info for the reporter or producer, and possible questions, so that you are completely prepared. Research the reporter or blogger so you're familiar with other stories she's done. And rehea.r.s.e your responses beforehand!

12. Shut down any nasty rumors. There was a time, not all that long ago, when if there was an ugly rumor spreading about you, you left it alone hoping it would soon burn out. But things can go wide (and viral) quickly today, and you must react proactively to rumors. Cosmopolitan entertainment director Tracy Shaffer offers two strategies. "One, use your actions to show it's not true," she says. If there's a rumor, for instance, that you and a colleague are feuding, have lunch with her in the company cafeteria.

"Secondly, you need to talk to a few key people and enlist their support," she continues. "They should be people you trust, people in your field. Don't be defensive or act freaked out that your reputation is on the line, but tell them in a confident, genuine way what is happening and that you're concerned about it. Those people then become like soldiers who quell the rumor when they hear it referenced."

{ Be Grabby! }.

One of my favorite stories about success involves Linda Eastman, the first wife of Paul McCartney, who died of breast cancer when she was only fifty-six. Maybe I love the story so much because I was pretty young when I heard it, newly arrived in Manhattan, and she'd done something I probably wouldn't have ever thought of, let alone dared to try.

Linda, a single mother with a young daughter, was working as a receptionist for Town and Country magazine, though she had a serious interest in becoming a professional photographer. One day at work she deftly intercepted an invitation-meant for a senior editor-to the U.S. press launch of the Rolling Stones on a yacht in the Hudson River. She took her camera along with her, hoping that there would be an opportunity to shoot pictures. She ended up being tapped by the Stones to photograph them at the event, and that gig helped launch a successful career as a photographer (which, of course, later led to her meeting McCartney).

I talked earlier about how important it is to knock your boss's socks off with dynamite ideas that you end up executing brilliantly, but there's another way to go big or go home that you should include in your repertoire as well. You have to be grabby.

By grabby I don't mean pinching your boss's invitations. But there are things you can take and leverage into a win for yourself, even if they haven't been earmarked for you. One of the absolutely best things I ever grabbed was a yellow turtleneck. I'd just won the Glamour Top 10 College Women contest and was in New York City with the other winners, preparing to be shot for a special portfolio in the magazine. I was thrilled to be a winner, but deep down I also longed to be the lucky girl whose photo would appear on the cover.

The day before the shoot, we were all taken to a photo studio filled with racks of clothes, and told to pick out a fall outfit to wear for our picture. Most of the clothes were in the muted shades that the fas.h.i.+on director told us were popular that season-such as heather and sage. But way at the end of a rack, almost like an afterthought, were a bright yellow turtleneck and matching orange-and-yellow skirt. I made a beeline past the muted outfits and grabbed the bright one instead. Why? Because I'd looked at enough magazine covers by then to know that they had to "pop" at the newsstand. And you know what? I ended up on the cover. I never look at that old shot of me in the yellow turtleneck without thinking how wise I was to grab it.

Things you should routinely grab in your career include: * A moment of time from someone who could advise you or provide you with key info.

* The chance to introduce yourself to someone powerful at a party or event.

* The opportunity to raise your hand for a project that's just been announced (even though you may tick off the good girls who just sit there hoping to be tapped for it).

* A peek at something insightful that's lying out on someone's desk. (Hey, if they've called you in and it's on the desk, isn't it fair game?) * A chair close to someone important at a meeting.

* Power or control in a void-as long as you won't be seriously b.i.t.c.h-slapped by someone higher up. (Once, when my executive editor had to step away before the start of a meeting, I was about to say, "Why don't we wait?" But the deputy editor said nicely, "I think we can start. I can run through the first part." She knew her boss wouldn't mind, and I was totally impressed by the way she took command.) * An offer from someone to introduce you to a person you're dying to know but have no access to.

* A diamond-in-the-rough project that no one else wants to touch because they don't see the potential.

It was taking on a diamond-in-the-rough project that made all the difference for Jane Buckingham, the founder and CEO of Trendera, whom I hired as a contributing editor the day after I started at Cosmo. "I was working at an ad agency in Boston not long after I graduated from college," she explains, "and we were pitching the Ma.s.sachusetts Anti-Smoking Campaign. No one wanted to work on this project because it was uns.e.xy and funded by the government. But I was very antismoking, so I poured my heart into the research and we won the business. The campaign was a huge success, and we got a ton of buzz. And that led to me starting my own business."

Remember: just because no one has invited you to grab something doesn't mean you shouldn't.

{ What You Need Even More Than a Mentor }.

When she gives speeches, Sheryl Sandberg, the brilliant and charismatic COO of Facebook, often mentions how critical it is for women to have mentors in their professional lives. She has had some terrific ones herself, including former secretary of the Treasury Larry Summers.

Most women would second Sandberg's comment. A recent LinkedIn survey of nearly a thousand female professionals found that 82 percent of women agree that having a mentor is important. By definition, a mentor shows you the ropes, offers feedback, and provides strategies for success-all very good stuff. Mentors are often at a higher vantage point than you are, so they can provide insight you can't develop from yours. And if your mentor is in your own organization, she can help you understand where the land mines are.

A common misconception about mentoring is a.s.suming you have to wait for a mentor to find you. According to LinkedIn, almost 20 percent of women have never had a mentor, and more than half of those said it was because they hadn't encountered anyone appropriate. But you can't sit around waiting for a mentor to find you. You have to search for them, and that may mean looking beyond your immediate department or area.

Your own organization may actually have an interns.h.i.+p program. Intel, General Mills, and Procter & Gamble are just a few of the Fortune 500 companies that do. Check with your HR department. Also consider your college. Even if you've been out for a while, see if it has any kind of mentors.h.i.+p program. If not, you could use LinkedIn's advanced-search platform to determine if there is someone from your alma mater in your field whom you can connect with.

But don't get too locked into the I-need-a-mentor mind-set without considering these two points.

First, one mentor rarely has all the answers you need. If, for instance, your mentor is a single woman, she may not be able to relate to your dilemma of whether you should leave your job and follow a serious boyfriend to Chicago, the only city where he was admitted into law school.

To me, better than a mentor is a group of advisers, which you can begin to put together early in your career. Michele James, a partner in James & Co. and former chief talent scout for AOL Time Warner, wholly endorses this idea and even has a name for it: your personal board of directors.

"Think of your PBOD just as you would a real board of directors," she says. "You need about five people, with different capabilities. On a real board there's someone who runs the audit committee, and you'll need an audit person, too-someone who can help you evaluate compensation. There needs to be someone in charge of brand strategy and so on."

When you need advice in one area, you ask the appropriate person; when you need advice in another area, you ask someone else. One of the people on my own PBOD is a guy I met in my twenties who later became the head of a major media company. I'm lucky to have a friend like him, and he gives the most sage advice about any career decision I need to make. But if I'm struggling with a quality-of-life decision, I turn to an old friend who started a small company out of her home. She's got a different take from many people on work-life balance.

Second, and it's a biggie: though mentors-or your PBOD-can give you advice, they don't necessarily help you succeed. A recent Harvard Business Review article, based on a Catalyst study of MBAs, pointed out that there wasn't a strong correlation between a woman having a mentor and receiving a promotion. But get this: men with mentors were more likely to receive promotions. Why? Because in the case of many men, their mentors are what you'd actually call sponsors. A sponsor tends to be more senior in an organization than a mentor and, rather than simply offering feedback, he uses his influence with senior executives to advocate for the sponsoree. A sponsor opens doors and works to get a candidate promoted. Women, unfortunately, tend to be overmentored and undersponsored.

So what you also want is sponsors, people who are going to sell you to people higher up in your own organization and others.

How can you find a sponsor? Well, an obvious candidate is your boss. You want to be sure you're working for someone who will advocate on your behalf and isn't going to try to keep you in your same old spot-out of selfishness or envy.

But you'll want to find other senior people, both inside and outside your organization, who can be sponsors for you, too. Start with due diligence. Check out company websites to find out who the important players are and what they are focusing on. Go to company and industry events. According to communications and body language expert Lillian Gla.s.s, at professional c.o.c.ktail parties, power players are generally standing just off of the center of the room with several people around them. Get to know their names. Also attend company and industry conferences and talks. Are there speakers you admire? And ask around among peers and friends-who are the standouts in an organization, who is being buzzed about?

Once you've identified people who can be both mentors and sponsors, you need to make contact. Don't hesitate to introduce yourself to a potential ally at an event or in the elevator and say you admire her work. If the person is spearheading a committee or drive, volunteer to be on it. You can also request an informational interview. You could say something such as "I've heard so much about your work [or latest venture] and would love to know more about it."

But don't come right out and ask someone to be your mentor or sponsor. Sh.e.l.lye Archambeau, CEO of MetricStream, which helps companies meet compliance standards, says that can freak out a busy person. Her strategy early in her career was simply to adopt people as mentors by gradually treating them that way. "Look for a person who you feel a real connection with when you speak," Archambeau says. "With mentors, you have to be able to let your hair down. It's not a business relations.h.i.+p."

If you've just had a brief conversation at an event, ask, "Is it all right if I drop you a note?" You can follow up with a question in writing. Also, periodically send your potential mentor or sponsor information that she will find insightful. When you have an accomplishment under your belt, let her know about it-not as part of your big-mouth list (see "12 Ways to Get Buzzed About") but in a personal e-mail. Just don't be nuisance.

Do not turn to a sponsor for advice the way you might a mentor. You don't want her to have even a glimmer about any work dilemmas you're facing or doubts you may be struggling with. You want her to see only your strengths, because her role is to sell you.

Once that person has a sense of you, she may begin to volunteer to make introductions. But if she doesn't, you're going to have to ask for her help. If a job opens up that she could "sell" you for, tell her, "You've been such a valuable resource for me. I would really appreciate having your help on something. There's a terrific position open at Company A, and I'm hoping you would be able to advocate on my behalf." Don't be shy about also asking a sponsor, "Do you know anyone I could talk to?"

Yes, it can be hard, but you know what? Guys do it all the time.

I hope this is stating the obvious. You must send a written note to a mentor or sponsor when she helps you. Perhaps even a gift. And here's a great tip from Archambeau: When you take someone's advice, let her know it and how it worked out. So few people ever do that.

{ Career Breakthroughs: The Very Simple Formula }.

You're just about done with the first part of the book. I've offered you the best lessons I've learned about figuring out what you really want to do professionally, landing the job you want, and knocking your boss's socks off. But let's face it: that's not all you're looking for. You want your efforts to pay off. You are hoping that your hard work and go-big-or-go-home undertakings will lead to a terrific promotion or fabulous new job up the ladder. In other words, you want the success you've been gunning for.

So let's talk about how to guarantee that happens. Career breakthroughs occur at the intersection of readiness, opportunity, and hustle. If you are itching for your first big breakthrough (and I'd say that, early in your career you should never be at any job longer than a couple of years before questioning if you've been there too long), you need to create that intersection.

Ask yourself these three questions: 1. Are you really ready? If you're hoping you'll be promoted when a job above you opens up, have you been mastering the skills you would need for that job? Have you been impressing the h.e.l.l out of your boss by going big with your ideas and doing far more than you've been told to do? If not, get busy. If the right job outside the company opened up, would you be ready for that? When I was a young feature writer at Glamour, it finally dawned on me-later than it should have-that if I wanted to move up (at either Glamour or another magazine), I was going to have to master a whole new skill, one I hadn't even begun to develop in my current job. I loved being a feature writer and seeing my name in print, but it was really a dead-end job. The positions directly above mine at the magazine were a.s.sociate editor and senior editor, and as the t.i.tles implied, they involved editing, not writing. Luckily, around that time, the articles editor started giving me pieces to edit in order to lighten her own burgeoning load, but if I'd been less naive, I would have already volunteered to take on that task. At least I was smart enough to see how fortunate I was that she'd asked. I stayed late every night doing as much editing as possible, developing this necessary skill and making certain I did a good enough job so she'd keep giving me more.

In some cases you can learn what's required in your own workplace, but there's also a chance you'll need to take a cla.s.s or program outside. I signed up for a couple of cla.s.ses in copyediting to bolster what I was learning on the job.

2. Are you creating enough opportunities? Look, sometimes opportunity really does knock, and that's a beautiful thing. But that happens the least when you're first starting out because you have so few connections. One of my best friends when I was younger landed two amazing jobs during her twenties, one just a couple of years after the other, because in each case her boss got a great new job elsewhere and took my friend along, but nothing like that ever happened to me. You can't wait around for that kind of luck. You've got to: * Make sure your boss knows how eager you are to move up, by both your performance and the messages you give.

* Network your b.u.t.t off, inside and outside the company (see "Advanced Networking [Never Say You're Too Busy to Do It]" in part II).

* Watch job boards and your company website for opportunities.

* Introduce yourself to senior people in your organization who may be in a position to hire you one day. And continue to develop sponsors.

* Sign up for LinkedIn if you haven't already (see "b.a.l.l.sy Strategies for Finding a Job" for more about using LinkedIn). Study how it works and maximize it, using the advanced search options.

* Get job news from companies you're interested in by signing up for their Twitter and Facebook feeds.

* Read trade journals and websites devoted to your field.

* Shoot periodic e-mails to former bosses and colleagues, updating them on what you're up to and sharing a link to something they'd be interested in.

* Keep a folder of clippings or a computer file about new companies or people doing things that intrigue you. (I still have that kind of folder!) * Check in with your college career office even if it's been a few years since you graduated.

* Stay in regular contact with friends in your field, particularly those who seem to know all the gossip.

* Allow for serendipity and opportunities beckoning from whole new directions.

3. Are you ready to hustle? As soon as you learn about an opportunity, go for it in as big a way as possible. Don't just send your resume. Make a call introducing yourself. Use a sponsor to open a door for you (see "What You Need Even More Than a Mentor"). And do not hesitate!