Uncommon Emotions Part 13

"Hi." Her voice worked like a sheepskin coat blanketing out the painful cold of dead winter.

"Hi," I replied softly, glad I was sitting when I glanced up. Raven wore casual clothes but they were no less striking than her immaculate suit last night.

"Final report?" Her hand gestured toward the bound report on the table next to my laptop.

"Yes." I kept from voicing the unnecessary. We both knew that, with this report and Archie's acceptance, today would be my last day at Paul Industries. I hadn't been worried about never seeing her again, but by her expression, maybe I should be. "I looked for you after the ceremony last night."

"I left early." She glanced away.

"That's what Elise said when I caught up with her.

Everything okay?" I didn't know how to go about asking what I wanted to ask.

She brought her glance back to mine and nodded once.

"How are you?"

120*

The question wasn't an innocent follow-up greeting, and I chose my response carefully. "That depends on whether you're free for dinner tonight?"

"Joslyn," she started, but nothing else came.

"Just dinner, Raven. We should talk." I watched her defensive posture slacken. "I'll pick you up at seven?"

"I can meet you there." She sounded as if my suggestion was the scariest thing she'd ever heard. "Which restaurant?"

Before I could object, Archie pushed through the open door. "Ah, good, my beautiful niece."

"Hi, Uncle Archie." Raven smiled without any consternation for him.

"How are you, Joslyn?" His was a greeting.

"Fine, Archie. I've just finished the final business plan if you have some time?"

"That's what I was hoping you'd say when I waltzed in here. Shall we take this back to my office? Raven, join us?"

He turned back to the doorway.

"I've got to get the quarterlies done. I'll leave you in good hands." She patted his arm as he started off toward his office.

I gathered up my report and laptop and went to follow Archie. When I reached Raven, she s.h.i.+fted slightly to allow me to pa.s.s through the open door. "Seven? I'll come by your place, and we'll decide where to eat then."

Her eyes searched mine, looking for an answer. She nodded twice, a brief smile pulling at the corners of those talented lips. With her acceptance, I had to keep myself from skipping off after Archie.

The guilty looks that intermittently peeked through troubled me the most. What did Raven feel she had to be guilty about? I could understand the looks of hesitation, wariness, even fear, but guilt didn't make sense. If those *121 worrisome glances hadn't been broken by glimpses of desire and attraction, I'd have called an end to my determination to "talk" at this dinner.

Our ride over had been comfortable. When I'd shown up at Raven's, she looked as nervous as I felt, but I tossed her the keys to my Vette and delight took over her whole demeanor. She drove us to a restaurant that was farther away than I'd planned just so I could prolong her enjoyment.

Settling around the secluded table, I struggled to keep from confronting her while we ordered. When her conflicting gazes continued to sift through more and more disquieting emotions, I decided frankness wouldn't be the best course of action. We'd fallen into our usual easy conversation, moving from topic to topic without notice of the time slipping by. It was only during the lulls when a course was cleared or served that she'd flash those awkward emotion-filled glances.

Forcing myself to take a bite of the dessert I didn't want but had ordered to draw out our time together, I barely registered that her expression had moved from guilt to sorrow to determination. "I shouldn't have kissed you," she admitted softly.

I set down my fork and swallowed the suddenly bitter tasting cheesecake. "I asked you to. I wanted you to."

"You're straight," she accused without malice and so quietly I had to lean forward to hear. "We shouldn't-I shouldn't have."

"You think you took advantage? I was the one who stopped you from leaving."

"I can't do this." Her gaze turned steely.

"Again," I added what I a.s.sumed she'd left out.

"Pardon?"

"You meant to say that you can't do this again, didn't you?" A look of surprise then confusion came over her face.

Before it went all the way to denial, I continued, "You've 122*

shown reluctance to act before, which tells me that you've had experience with this and the result made you want to ensure that it never happens again."

Deep breaths pumped through her torso as she glanced around the deserted restaurant patio. "You're right."

"And you're certain that I'm like this person or persons who made you swear off potential relations.h.i.+ps?"

She shook her head, looking down. "You're not like anyone I've ever met."

I waited until her head came up and locked eyes with her. "Thank you. You're not like anyone I've ever met either."

We held the stare a moment longer before she reached for her water gla.s.s. She took her time sipping from the gla.s.s, as if the liquid would provide her with the indisputable argument she'd need to end this topic. "I won't let myself be some test of curiosity; I'm too old for a fling; and I'm uninterested in a one-night stand."

"I wouldn't use anyone like that, much less you; I've had my limit of flings; and I never saw the appeal of a one-night stand."

"You don't know what you're saying." Her voice carried a heaviness that comes from deep hurt.

"I know that when you pulled away from our kiss last night I felt like you took my balance from me. I can't concentrate, and for someone who compartmentalizes nearly everything, losing concentration is more than off-putting."

"This isn't like what you're used to."

"I should hope not."

The waiter interrupted us with the check. I quickly handed over my credit card to limit his interruptions.

Unfortunately, his appearance quieted Raven. We didn't speak again until we were back in the car with me behind the wheel. She hadn't even been tempted to drive this time.

*123 "There are no guarantees at the start of any relations.h.i.+p," I said after making a series of turns to get back on the two lane highway toward her house.

"I know that, but there are more things for you to consider with this one," Raven retorted gravely. "This wouldn't be like entering a relations.h.i.+p with a man where if it doesn't work out, you haven't shocked your family and friends."

"I can't worry about that." The idea hadn't even entered my mind until she'd mentioned it. Would something like this shock my family and friends? Marco hadn't cared. Well, he'd cared that Raven obviously meant a great deal to me.

So much, that I wasn't worried about anything other than her.

"You should," she came back immediately. After a long silence, she added, "Right now, this is only an attraction.

One we can both fight. One that doesn't have to change your whole world."

Slowing to pull into her driveway, I thought of a dozen different arguments. With every switchback in her drive, a new direction presented itself for my response. As I shut off the engine in front of her house, I realized nothing but the truth would work. "It already has," I admitted.

A faint moan left with her breath. She turned to face me with that expression of desire, asking for me to touch her.

My fingers brushed the back of her hand and onto her forearm. Goose b.u.mps rose in their wake. That sound escaped again, and she twisted to open the door. She was out so quickly I barely remembered opening my door and darting around the car to meet her.

"Raven, wait."

"You have no idea what you're doing to me." She spoke in a voice laced with anguish.

"I know that when I'm around you I feel things that I've only ever heard about." In fact, those pesky feelings were making it difficult to speak right now. My throat felt dry 124*

and swollen. "I never understood what friends were talking about when they'd tell me they couldn't control themselves around someone they were attracted to. Not until you. I thought I was going to burn from the inside out if you didn't kiss me last night. Not just smoldering warmth or a brief hot flash, but actually char with a blaze that could reduce me to ashes. I've waited my whole life to feel desire like this. I hope that's what I'm doing to you."

Her eyes widened at my admission, breath pumping faster through her chest. Slowly she brought her hands up, reaching and retreating in a silent battle until, finally, they landed on my shoulders. "G.o.d help me, but I can't stop,"

she whispered, pulling me into her.

When her lips met mine, I fell against her. My car stopped us from tumbling to the ground. Our hands and tongues and mouths caressed and embraced and wors.h.i.+ped until the sensations threatened to inundate my sensibilities.

"I can't-"

She wrenched her lips from mine at the start of my plea.

Tears threatened to escape her eyes. "We need to stop this."

"No," I denied firmly, capturing her face in my hands. "I was going to say that I can't stay upright much longer. I don't want to stop." One of the tears made a break for her cheek. At the look of relief on her face, I swiped my fingers across the tear. "Take me to bed, Raven," I implored in a husky voice that I now possessed because of my desire.

Those expressive eyes showed a flash of fear before the pa.s.sion took over. Her right hand slid to my left and laced our fingers together. With a gentle tug, we were moving toward her house.

Chapter 16.

I t wasn't until she'd guided me to her bedroom that the apprehension hit me. I'd never been nervous about s.e.x before. I'd never had reason to be because I'd never cared enough about the person to be nervous. That realization alone caused borderline panic.

"You're incredibly beautiful when you're nervous."

Raven's tentative smile eased some of my apprehension.

The breath I'd been holding let out as I grabbed her waist. "It's not because..."

"I'm a woman?"

No, that's definitely not it. I'd had plenty of practice with what a woman likes s.e.xually, or at least what I liked.

No, my nervousness centered on my own responses which, up until now, had always been lackl.u.s.ter when it came to s.e.x. Her hesitant look grew fearful with my silence, so I rushed to a.s.sure her. "That doesn't worry me. You're so beautiful and amazing, Raven. I want to please you."

Her face glowed with soft surprise and delight from my admission. "You please me by wanting to be here, Joslyn.

You don't have anything to be nervous about." She leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine. Tenderly she told me with her confident exploration how much she was already pleased. The blaze of heat from her kiss scorched all remaining hesitation.

126*

My fingers started working the b.u.t.tons of her s.h.i.+rt, following orders my mind had never issued before. I'd always let my partner take the lead, but now I finally understood frantic need. "And s.e.xy. Did I mention how s.e.xy you are?"

Brown eyes brushed shut when my fingertips slid across her skin. She moaned softly, and the temperature in the room rose dramatically. I wanted out of these clothes, I wanted to feel myself against her, I wanted to feel her touch.

I couldn't ever remembering feeling anything as desperately as I wanted to feel her.

Shedding clothes had never been as erotic as this. I couldn't seem to get enough of her pliant, firm skin or her giving, insistent lips. Forcing myself to step back, my eyes raked down her slender body. Beguiling, alluring, tempting, no single word was adequate enough for her perfection.

"You're even more divine than I imagined," she whispered, her eyes taking the same leisurely stroll that mine enjoyed. The gaze warmed my skin. "If I don't touch you soon, I may implode."

"Can I-I need..." a.s.sailing thoughts tangled with alien emotions, making it difficult to speak.

"Do whatever feels good, Jos. Please, just soon." She somehow understood that I needed to touch and explore.

She stepped forward, filling the gap between us. As her naked flesh kissed mine for the first time, I gasped, unable to isolate what gave me the most pleasure. Softness like I'd never felt slid against me and my skin erupted in gooseflesh. The responding chill sparked a surprising moan from deep inside me.

My lips sought the sinewy connection between her powerful shoulder and graceful neck. Tasting that part of her, taking in her scent, my eyes squeezed shut to calm the flood of giddiness. I brought my hands to her flat stomach, splaying my fingers up along her ribs. A tremor rippled through her as my hands inched higher, studying every *127 sinuous plane. Reaching the swell of her upturned b.r.e.a.s.t.s, my breath hitched and my heart clobbered against my chest cavity.

A rhythmic thumping sped up to a rapid hammering under my hand. Her breathing matched the speed of her heart rate and soft sighs led the way to breathy moans. "I have to touch you, Jos. Please let me."

"Anything, Raven." I tipped my head back, breathless from her urgent tone. "Everything."

Her hands immediately moved up from her sides to my waist. The touch set me ablaze, spurring on my own exploration. I filled my hands with her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, testing the buoyant heft, flicking my thumbs over her dark brown nipples. The already hardened peaks grew rigid against my thumb pads.

"G.o.d, yes," she moaned, flattening her hands against the small of my back and pus.h.i.+ng out over the crest of my rear. She tilted into my body, and I pushed back with equal need. "Lie down," she ordered hoa.r.s.ely. "I need to feel all of you."

I leaned back, taking her with me onto the bed. We inched backward, mouths connected, hands searching, until we found ourselves somewhere in the middle of the bed.

She left my mouth and moved down my throat. Her silky hair caressed my jaw and her lips pulled exquisitely on my neck. I looked down the length of the body covering mine until she sensed my plea and turned her face up to look at me.

"You're beautiful," I whispered as her lips claimed mine again.