Indivisible. Part 22

Her breath came sharp and quick. "No."

"You think I'm too nice?"

She shook her head. "Stop it, Jonah."

"You don't know, do you? You've never asked."

"I don't need to."

"You've kept a nice, safe distance, though."

"That's not why-"

"Ask." The icy demand chilled her marrow. Tears burned. "I won't."

His teeth clenched down on a cold whisper. "Ask me."

She swallowed hard. "Did you shoot your dad?"

"No. But I got to watch, which was almost as good."

"Don't."

"What?"

"Pretend to be that person you're not."

"What makes you think I'm not?" His temple pulsed. "You see it. Down inside me. The rage."

"There's rage in every one of us."

"Not like mine."

"That's a lie." Her voice rasped.

"But you believe it."

"No, I don't. I have never believed you shot him."

His throat worked. "Then why ..." His pain surfaced like blisters on a burn.

She could not let it go on. "You wanted to save Reba from the backlash, told her she didn't deserve to be shackled to a man like you. But the truth is, you shouldn't be shackled to someone like me."

He looked away and swore, then turned back and gripped her shoulders. "This thing, the way I feel, didn't happen because of what we did, it's why why we did it." we did it."

She searched his face.

"I love you. I loved you before we betrayed your sister, before I slid the ring on her finger."

She gulped back tears. "I don't-"

"That day on the ledge, when you followed me to the eagle nest? I wanted to make love to you. I wanted to take off your clothes and let the sun s.h.i.+ne all over you. That's what I was thinking while we talked about your sister."

Her tears broke free. If that were true ... If that were true ... "Then why ..." "Then why ..."

"I needed everyone to know I was good enough for Reba Reba Manning." Manning."

Her throat felt raw, her chest hollow.

"That's what I'm capable of." He let go and stepped back. what I'm capable of." He let go and stepped back.

She felt like he'd pulled a stake from her chest and her life was pouring out. She stood unmoving as he walked away.

Fifteen.

Loyalty means nothing unless it has at its heart the absolute principle of self-sacrifice.-THOMAS WOODROW WILSON Leaving Tia's shop, Jonah's mind reeled. His body shook. He had determined to hold on, but something inside snapped. He had repelled her as surely as if he'd slammed his palms into her collarbones. The ache, the need for her howled, almost driving him back inside, but he had shown her the beast, and she would only recoil.

His phone rang, and he wanted to throw it. "What?"

"Jonah Westfall?"

"Yes." His teeth clenched.

"Sarge asked me to call."

Sarge. It must be the nurse. What was her name? "Lauren."

"Very good."

"What's up with Sarge?"

"His daughters are here. They're moving him to a nursing home."

"What? No." His hand clenched. "I tried to get back to them. They never-" He rubbed his face. "Can you stall them till I get there?"

"How?"

"Tell them you need another test or the doctor has to sign something."

"The doctor's already spoken-"

His breathing hardened. "Just ask them to wait until I get there."

"You better hurry. They want to be done with it."

Done with it. With Sarge. He wouldn't debate the reasons for their decision, but he hoped to change their minds. Shutting the phone, Jonah sprinted to the Bronco. He put on the light and siren and kept the pedal floored.

He'd expended his emotional energy on Tia, and he hadn't prepared for this, but it might be his only chance to give back to Sarge for the things he'd done. Maybe guilt and regret had driven the old man's actions, but the result was the same. With the kind of anger he'd built up, Jonah could be doing time instead of fighting crime, if Sarge hadn't stressed things like taking life head on and making his way through the trenches no matter what the enemy had planned.

Stan had taken credit for his son's decision to join him in law enforcement. But it was Sarge who had encouraged him. "Read the enemy," Sarge told him, "a.s.sess his strengths, then do it better, harder, and with a clear conscience."

It all stemmed from the tragedy, from the night in the woods when their souls had intersected. In some ways, Sarge's life had stopped that night. The clock quit ticking. He'd gone into a tunnel where nothing changed. His menu, his schedule. Hiring Piper had been a bigger step than anyone realized, certainly not the daughters who had been gone for years. Hurt, perhaps, by his inability to move out of the past, they had started over without him.

Now Sarge needed a new start, but not the one they planned. Charging out of the elevators, he encountered Lauren, looking drawn. "Where is everyone?"

She pointed to Sarge's room. "Still there. Barely." She looked him up and down. "You really are a cop."

He'd worn the uniform because he was supposed to be in court this afternoon. "Did you think I was making that up?"

"Seeing is believing."

He crooked a smile. "Thanks for calling me." She smiled back. A lovely, hopeful smile.

Jonah reached the room and entered. The women who turned to him were fifteen or twenty years older. They probably had no memory of him. They might remember his father though, as their expressions suggested. The resemblance was striking. Especially in uniform.

"Hi." He extended his hand. "Jonah Westfall."

"Of course. I'm Billie. This is Stacey. Dad's been hollering for you, but I'm not sure what you have to do with this, unless he's broken the law." A ludicrous thought, her raised eyebrow told him. Sarge laid down the law; he didn't break it.

"He hasn't broken any laws." Jonah looked at Sarge in the bed, shrunken even more than he'd been. "Hey, Sarge." Low simmer, Jonah gauged, by the return stare.

"The hospital is ready to release him to a VA care facility that will continue pain management and-"

"I can manage my own pain. Always have."

Billie rolled her eyes. "The drugs impair balance, cause drowsiness. He won't be able to drive or walk long distances. He's-"

"Not deaf or on my deathbed." A rolling boil.

"He has numbness and slight paralysis in the right leg that will worsen as the spine constricts the nerves. He needs care that my sister and I can't provide."

Jonah nodded.

"We have considered the options-"

"I'd like to discuss one you haven't considered."

That caught her off stride. "Another option?"

"Let him move in with me."

Both women stared at him, slow blinking.

"You want Sarge to live with you?" Stacey tried for an inquiring tone, but it came out incredulous.

"I've just about completed the addition to my home." He hadn't started it with Sarge in mind, but as he'd driven, the thought had come. It was all he could come up with to keep Sarge out of a place where he'd be utterly powerless.

"I don't understand how you're involved." Billie looked more suspicious than her sister. "What's in this for you?"

"Sarge is my friend."

She barely masked her disbelief. "I don't know what he's promised you-"

"I'm not looking for compensation. I'd like to give him a place where he can stay on the mountain and keep a hand in the bakery."

Billie looked at her sister. "We were thinking we'd sell the bakery."

"Over my dead body," Sarge barked.

"It would pay for quality care-"

"My own daughters, digging my grave."

"Sarge," Jonah said mildly. "Everyone wants what's best for you."

"Best for me? Let me live my life. My way."

"We're trying to do that."

"Not those-"

"You're not helping your cause, Sarge. Let me handle it."

Billie scowled. "Has he said he wants to live with you?"

"I haven't invited him. What do you say, Sarge? Want to bunk with me?"

"I don't need to bunk with you. I have my own place."

Jonah hung his hands on his hips. "That's not an option. It's my place or the home." Nursing care was not cheap. The daughters should jump at the chance.

"Dad?" Billie fixed him with the fierce, beaky stare she'd clearly inherited. "For reasons I can't fathom, Chief Westfall is making you an offer."

Sarge looked up. Jonah saw a desperation that could have been interposed on the wounded coyote. Come on, Sarge Come on, Sarge. He waited. Take the chance you've got Take the chance you've got. Sarge would have wanted to fight it, to hold the line and not retreat. He never pretended to be what he wasn't, but right now it was clear he wasn't sure who or what he was.

"I don't have a choice, I guess." His voice sounded thready, but the glare had lost no potency.

Jonah breathed his relief, wiping the sweat from his palms. It didn't seem to matter who was in a vulnerable situation. It always got him in the gut.

"We'll work out the details, Sarge."

Sarge's mouth moved, but no words came. His big hands clawed the sheet.