Koushounin Wa Damaranai Volume 3 Chapter 3

t.i.tle: Koushounin series 03 Koushounin wa Furikaeru [交渉人は振り返る]
Chapter: 3
Page: 077 – 106
Author: Eda Yuuri [榎田 尤利]
Ill.u.s.trator: Nara Chiharu [奈良 千春]
Publisher: Taiyō Tos...o...b..> Year of Release: 2009

Disclaimer:

Eda Yuuri is the original author of this work, and this is a fan translation. Feel free to re-post this elsewhere if you like but please credit this site. I did buy the original copy of this book, along with the rest of the series, so it'll be great if you can support her by buying her books.

By the way, this work contains BL, or h.o.m.o-eroticism. This chapter also contains a copulation scene. You have been duly warned. …And if I had to type in any more ah’s I swear I will punch my computer in mortification.

Oh, and bad language. One off F-word.

Note:

As I have no formal training in translation theory nor am I an expert in j.a.panese (nor English, for the matter), I cannot guarantee the quality of this translation work, but I promise I did my best.

I have been a big fan of the Koushounin series by Eda Yuuri ever since I got my hands on the BLCDs for the first and second instalments of the series, and have been waiting patiently for the BLCDs for the third instalment onward… to no avail. It has been 8 years since the sensei published Koushounin wa Furikaeru, and I am beginning to accept that there might be no BLCD after all.

Nevertheless, the fujos.h.i.+ doesn’t give up. The following is my attempt at the English translation of the rest of the series.

Chapter 3

"How should I put this? Till about halfway through we made an extremely solid team, but a member who suddenly decided to join the team after that decided to run ahead of all of us…? It was supposed to be Saitou-kun who made the kick into the goal, but it appears that a very rash somebody had Saitou-kun himself kicked into the goal as well…?"

"In other words, I am the star player here, right?" Hyoudou was fooling about with a serious look on his face.

"That's not what I said. Who said anything like that? It's wasn’t supposed to be like that, the plan was to have Saitou-kun himself change his att.i.tude towards…"

"I think we've had enough of talking about Saitou, or whoever that is," said Hyoudou in a disagreeable tone, while standing between the office and my private room.

He wasn't wearing a suit, nor was he wearing anything else other than a suit. Only a bath towel was wrapped around his lower half as he leaned his weight against the door and stared at me, who was still in my office.

"How long do you plan on staying there? If you don't come here immediately I'm going to jump you while you're still there."

"No you won't. This is my workplace and it's sacred."

"Just for once I would like to have you while pinning you down on the copier."

"No!"

I took my eyes off the computer screen to glare daggers at Hyoudou. "The lease for that was expensive!"

Hyoudou, with an exasperated sigh, said: "You have no s.e.x appeal." This is a thirty-three-year-old middle-aged man he is grumbling to… I'd be d.a.m.ned if I had any s.e.x appeal at all.

"How long will you have me wait? I'm going to catch a cold."

"I'll be done soon. I have to do a check on my text messages… Ah. It's Saitou-kun."

The hotpot session ended only about an hour ago, but I had already received a text message from him. I have something I would like to discuss with you as soon as possible, his text said. Alrighty, it appears that all had gone well after all. Although we encountered an intruder midway through, as long it ends well everything is fine.

"… There you are, this is all thanks to me, isn't it?" Hyoudou whispered into my ear. "I'll have you thank me properly, senpai." While I wasn't paying attention to him, Hyoudou had somehow managed to re-appear right behind me. I involuntarily shuddered in antic.i.p.ation at the feel of his voice and moist breath right next to my ear.

"What are you saying? You only found out what was actually going on just a few moments ago. It was only by chance that your exchange with Hakuta-san was… Nn."

A hand snaked under my chin to forcibly tip my jaw upwards. I looked up to come face-to-face with not the ceiling but Hyoudou's face, and he immediately sealed my lips with a kiss. The strands of hair falling on my face were cold to touch.

With that, I realized that I really might make him catch a cold. Feeling a little guilty, I acquiesced to his kiss. Hyoudou reached downwards to pull my s.h.i.+rt out before slipping his hand underneath.

"Wait… Nn…"

Hyoudou's tongue started to move roughly inside my mouth. It was like being tasted by a truculent animal; it was slightly frightening and a huge turn on. At this rate, it was quite likely that I might be boned in my own office, so I somehow managed to pry Hyoudou's head from mine. "I get it, I'll go to bed." I said, to pacify him.

"Your back is fine already, I presume?"

"It hasn't healed completely yet. Don't push it too far," I reminded him.

As I got up from my office chair, he wrapped both arms around my waist. With a broad grin, he told me: "I can't promise you that." That look on his face was basically lechery itself but unfortunately that look makes me lose my composure so I guess I can’t criticize him for that.

While being on the receiving end of a pa.s.sionate kiss, I was more or less dragged off to the bed in the private room, and by the time I was pushed down onto newly made sheets, my breathing had become uneven.

"… Oi. I haven't showered."

"You can shower after this." Hyoudou's breathing was also starting to become ragged. He hastily removed his gla.s.ses and threw them onto the bedding. "I mean, you’d probably need to sc.r.a.pe out the stuff I’ll leave in you anyway… I'm rather backed up."

"Wha—! You, go put on some rubber, for the love of G.o.d!"

"Isn't it perfectly fine to not? We both do regular check-ups, anyway."

"I-I am telling you it is not okay. If you don't have any on you now I'll go out and buy some back now… Uwa—"

His bath towel had come undone while he was peeling off my clothes. I was. .h.i.t by a full frontal view of his junk and instinctively made a sound of alarm. That thing of his was in its full menacing glory, and it was curved backwards till it was almost touching his belly.

Hyoudou then proceeded to crush me beneath him with the full weight of his body. "I've gotten this far already, and you're telling me to wait for you until you get back with the condoms? Of course that's not going to happen… Look." He pressed himself on me in earnest. Since he had managed to peel off all my clothes by then, our genitals made full contact and I, caught up in his pa.s.sionate advances, also begin to get increasingly larger.

"Ah… What, you, are far too hard."

"That's because you haven’t let me hold you in awhile. As punishment, I'll be doing it raw today."

"I said, no!"

Other than that one time when we were still high school students, the very first time I allowed Hyoudou the full course… How very off putting, this way of saying it. In other words, it was nearly the end of last summer when we had a.n.a.l s.e.x, then. At that time, we also did it raw, but thereafter Hyoudou had always worn rubber. Naturally, it was for safety, and also because if we didn't, the cleaning up afterwards was a headache.

"Absolutely not. If you won't put one on, then today there will be no… Nn… Ah…"

A mouth latched onto my nipples, and my words became unintelligible. Recently, he discovered that I was weak to the left one. Hyoudou in bed had a frustratingly good sense for things like that. The smallest reaction cannot escape him, and he seemed to seeking to know my body in its entirety…when in actual fact he might already have.

My hips jerked as teeth sank into pink flesh.

Hyoudou's arms were wound tightly around me, effectively sealing off my attempts to move away. I was like prey being strangled to death by a snake, a snake with venom that was unduly sweet.

"Nn…"

After playing with my nipples for some time, Hyoudou's head started to slowly move downwards. My p.e.n.i.s had become this disgraceful thing that quivered slightly every now and then as it waited for Hyoudou's lips.

Hyoudou's hot breath brushed against the tip.

"Ah…"

Without touching what I was near bursting with antic.i.p.ation waiting for, Hyoudou grabbed some of my p.u.b.es in his teeth and pulled. That hurts, I grumbled at him and though Hyoudou did not lift his head I knew he laughed. Feeling his breath against my skin, my nether regions buzzed.

"Oi… What are you… fooling around… Nn…"

The tip of his nose pressed against somewhere midway of the shaft. Such half-hearted stimulation was making me impatient.

"Would you like me to lick it?"

He was teasing me. However, I was not some little girl who would hesitate to answer him, nor was I about to merrily give him the reply he wanted, so I ended up going: "You got a problem with that?" in a voice that sounded a little cross.

Hyoudou lifted his head with a smirk. "I don't have a problem with that. I'm very skilled at using my tongue."

"I don't deny that. Everyone has some redeeming traits, somehow or another… Hya—!"

I was suddenly grabbed from under my hips and forcefully hoisted upwards. My back chafed against the sheets, and the sheets rustled, and my back was made to bend my knees so that my hips could be tilted upwards.

"Wha, wha, what! What on earth are you making me do?"

"I'll lick it for you, so be quiet."

"St-…!"

Hyoudou's tongue grazed against my rim, and I was unable to complete my sentence.

I did say that I wanted him to lick that, but not that. I didn't specify the location, but to suddenly… the main point here is, this is despite the fact I haven't even showered, and although I got a toilet bowl with the b.u.t.t spray feature for the office washroom—yada yada, it was obvious that my thoughts were in a complete disarray. To put things bluntly, I was used to receiving f.e.l.l.a.t.i.o, but being rimmed unsettles me greatly, somehow.

"Ah…"

Something soft and wet nudged against me.

I struggled violently and briefly managed to succeed in escaping from underneath Hyoudou.

"Why you are running away?" he asked, annoyed. Instead of cooling him off, I seemed to have a lit a fire under him instead. I was promptly dragged back, this time on all fours. My b.u.t.t cheeks were spread open and once again a tongue buried itself in there.

"Ah… Ah, I said… I don't want…"

The wet slos.h.i.+ng sounds were more than I can bear.

"What do you not want? You already know how to enjoy yourself using that place, don't you?"

"Idiot, you don't say things like that… Hya—!"

The sharp tip of his tongue had found its way in. At the same time, Hyoudou's arm snaked around my abdomen to grab my p.e.n.i.s. When I'm seized down there, it was like being restrained by an invisible rope; not the violent kind, but the pleasurable kind.

I was stroked, with just the right amount of pressure.

Thereupon, like systems that are coupled, my rim twitched in response, and seized up around Hyoudou's tongue. After he made it thoroughly wet down there, Hyoudou withdrew his tongue and replaced with a long digit.

"Nn…!"

A large tremor ran over me.

Palpable waves of pleasure were running up my spine, and I clenched the sheets in my fists ever tighter.

Regrettably, in just a couple months, it was evident my body was not like it was before. Hyoudou had only inserted one finger, and I could almost feel my knees melting to b.u.t.ter, to say nothing of the fact that he was also going for the spot that will make me feel it the most—he knew if he did that, I won't be able to keep my composure.

"Somewhere around here… is where it's good, right, senpai?

"Ah, ah…"

Hyoudou's finger made a slight hook and slowly traced the outline of that weak point, and I gasped as my shoulders jolted at the sensations running in s.h.i.+vers up my spine from my tailbone.

"But, I'm sure you won't be satisfied with just one finger… Shall I add more?"

The devil had whispered to me, and I nodded, trembling. I couldn't refuse him.

Hyoudou kissed the nape of my neck. "Greedy, aren't we?" he said, with a grin. He released his grip on my p.e.n.i.s and covered his fingers in lotion that he had prepared beforehand.

"…Ah, ah, ah—! "

The additional finger pried its way through the narrow pa.s.sage.

This wasn't two fingers. From this oppressive feeling I was having it felt he had added three. These fingers slowly buried themselves deep within me as I groaned and gasped for breath. He used lotion, so there was no pain. Rather… I could almost ask him to go harder instead.

"This is really hot…" I heard Hyoudou swallow hard. "There are you, senpai. Can you tell that your insides are coiling around my fingers?"

"Ah… no—"

I wanted to close my ears to the squis.h.i.+ng sounds made by fingers going in and out. Not because I was embarra.s.sed… but because I was afraid that I would reach a point where pleasure would prevail over embarra.s.sment. My hands were full just by suppressing the urge to move my own hips.

c.r.a.p.

I lifted my jaw, and gnashed my teeth.

Truth is, Hyoudou and I don't get to do things like these very frequently. Both of us were often busy with work, and there weren't very many nights we could spend together. Under such circ.u.mstances, I had feared thta I wouldn't be able to keep this up for too long. I already had serious misgivings about being able to hold out till the end if I had been f.e.l.l.a.t.ed. However, I did not expect to be in such a difficult situation with just getting my a.s.s played with.

Somewhere deep inside me a fever started to build up, and this heat circled inside my body, round and round, seeking an exit.

"Ah…"

All of a sudden, all fingers were withdrawn, leaving me feeling empty. What originally was not a place that should be expecting intruders in the first place now seems to complain that something was missing, and that it felt lonely, even. The fever circling inside me ceased and dispersed, and, though things were all fuzzy by then I couldn't help but writhe in pleasurable agony in its wake.

"Hyoudou…"

I pressed my brow on the sheets and called his name without turning back to look at him.

"Un? What is it?" Hyoudou asked while trailing my back with kisses, completely without shame.

"Don't… do that halfway."

"But we don't have condoms, right?"

This person… He was getting all excited and saying things like 'let me do it raw' just a few moments ago and yet, what on earth is he saying now? I felt like giving him a good kick there and then but there was no way I could have summoned any strength in my crumbling knees.

"It's… It's fine, so…."

"What is?"

"I don't need you to put on rubber, so…"

"You want me to put it in?"

I nodded. Clearly.

The heat in my loins, having nowhere to go, was scorching me in a fire I couldn’t rid myself of. I haven't felt this way before, and it was both perplexing and disturbing.

His low voice teased, "You want me in here, don't you?"

"Y-yes. Hyoudou, quickly… ah, no… St-, don't touch it now…!"

Something poked me sharply from behind.

I didn't know which finger it was, as I couldn't see from where I was. In any case, due to the shock of having just one finger thrust all the way in…

"Senpai?"

I couldn't. I wasn't able to stop the explosion. Seed gushed out in spurts from the p.e.n.i.s that no one was touching. I was perfectly aware that Hyoudou was watching, but I couldn't hide it. a.s.saulted by the heat of the sudden o.r.g.a.s.m, I could only shake like a leaf in its throes while still on fours. Perhaps it was because I wasn't being rubbed then; it felt like a rather lengthy e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.i.o.n. Though I finally managed to release everything I had, I didn't feel as refreshed as I usually would have. My p.e.n.i.s was now flaccid but a cloyingly sweet, numbed pleasure remained in my hips.

With my breath coming in short gasps, I buried my face in the sheets.

Oh G.o.d. I couldn't believe I climaxed with just having my b.u.t.t played with… and so quickly, too.

"You… must be kidding me… you idiot, this is all because you were fooling about!" I said as I lifted my head, and just as I thought that I should probably wipe the sheets down, I was caught in an impa.s.sioned embrace from behind. As a result, I sank back into the sheets on my stomach right on top of where I just leaked on.

"Wah, wha-, what is it now?"

Hyoudou murmured huskily, "I'm in trouble." right into my ear. "I'm in it big, senpai. Today, you are just too… f.u.c.k, how can you be this s.e.xy?"

"What’s the point of asking me that, I can't… ah, wait, Hyoudou…"

"I can't hold back."

A hot and hard something pushed its way into me, and I ceded to Hyoudou on a deeper level, beyond skin deep. The searing heat that was forced into me was of a girth that cannot be compared to just fingers. My body fights it at first, but will, after a short while, adjust itself to be able to accept Hyoudou… or that was how it usually was. However, it was different this time round. Perhaps it was because I had just e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed; I was squeezing him tighter than usual.

"… You’re… tight…" Hyoudou groaned, but he kept going.

And I didn't ask him to stop, either. It was punis.h.i.+ng to have to take Hyoudou in where it had become sensitive; despite that, I wanted him.

I wanted to feel Hyoudou, deep inside of me.

When we are connected like this, it feels like we have become one, somehow. That is not possible, and it is simply you imagining things, my logical side insists, but we might as well have already melted into each other—at least, just for a moment, I am able to believe that we have.

"Ah… Hyoudou…"

"Senpai…"

Voices, melting together.

Bodies, melting into one.

It doesn't matter if this was nothing but a fleeting illusion, but to me, it has become something I cannot be without.

–

The day after I spent the night with Hyoudou, Saitou turned up at my office.

He confessed to me that he had gotten himself involved with scam groups, and have decided to wash his hands of them. Prior to this I had obtained permission to have s.h.i.+meno present, as well. As long as it is a case which has anything to do with crime, it was better to have a professional around.

"I was really pressed for money… and just when I thought that nothing was ever going to work out, I was approached by someone. Before this, I was doing a das.h.i.+ko's job, but I was told that eventually, collecting tobas.h.i.+ would make me more money."

It was around nine o' clock at night, and both Kiyo and Sayuri-san were no longer in the office. I had made Saitou tea that was lacking in comparison with Sayuri-san's and was sitting facing Saitou. He was in ordinary clothing; denim pants and a parker, which was completely different from his host-like attire yesterday. s.h.i.+meno as usual, stood out in a suit.

"It is their usual practice to take advantage of people who are troubled financially. Saitou-san, it is great that you were able to put your foot down."

Yes, Saitou nodded meekly. "That yakuza was seriously d.a.m.n scary, too."

"Yakuza?" s.h.i.+meno said questioningly, before turning at me and looking as though he had something to say.

"Ah no, eh, so happened Hyoudou decided to show up yesterday… eh, I'll tell you all about it some other time." I unconsciously spoke a tad too quickly, remembering that just the night before I was doing this and that with that scary yakuza in question before suffering a back pain relapse. s.h.i.+meno, who was sitting beside me, briefly sighed within my earshot and once again turned his attention to Saitou.

It is likely that I will be nagged at for it later.

"Well then, would you recount for me all the events leading to the current state of affairs? Certainly, everything will be kept only between us."

Perhaps he was put at ease by how sincere s.h.i.+meno looked; Saitou started to speak with candour.

"I came to Tokyo, and nothing went well after that… I was pretty frustrated. Without money I couldn't go out, and I had a feeling that Mitsuo was looking down on me…"

"Mitsuo-kun was worried about you, you know," I said, Saitou bobbed his head in agreement. He told me that he had stayed at Mitsuo's place last night, they had spoken at length, and he now understood where Mitsuo was coming from now.

"I am grateful to Mitsuo. Even though he is probably one of the few who had truly thought of me as a friend, I still fell out with him… I'm such an idiot."

"Thank goodness you had a friend like that" said s.h.i.+meno earnestly as he nodded. I was in complete agreement, too.

"Then, Saitou-san, insofar you only had a hand in das.h.i.+ko work and tobas.h.i.+ collection, right?

"No… Er." Saitou hesitated to speak, and he dropped his gaze.

s.h.i.+meno gently said: "If it's okay with you, please tell me about it." I knew him as a person who would never do anything like grill a person for answers. "It's okay. You can trust s.h.i.+meno," I added, and Saitou finally decided to throw away his previous reluctance to speak.

"Eh… Actually, I was invited to join the group as a core member."

"That is, in other words, you were being invited to be one of the members who make the calls?"

Saitou nodded yes. "He wanted someone with a North-Eastern accent—or so the person who invited me said."

"That means, you have met a core member of the group?"

"Yes. Juts one."

"Did he tell you his name?"

"Er. I don't know if it was his real name or not, but he said his name was Asahina."

s.h.i.+meno's eyelids twitched upon hearing that name.

"… Asahina?" I parroted. The same flicker probably crossed my face, too.

"Yes."

"Could you tell me if there was anything special about his appearance?"

"He looked twenty six, or maybe seven. He was on the skinny side but relatively good looking. When he speaks, he will seem to you like a cheerful person. The other time, when I was handing over the tobas.h.i.+, Asahina came to pick them up… and there was something off about him. He was in a great big hurry, and disappeared almost immediately after… Erm, Mebuki-san?"

Eh, I echoed as I raised my head. Apparently, I had been looking down with a troubled look on my face. Saitou regarded me quizzically.

"Sorry, it's nothing. Please continue."

"That is all I know about him. I have met him only twice, inclusive of that one time during the interview."

"I see. I am concerned about the fact that they wanted you on board as a member. How much do they know about you?"

"They know my name. I said many things during the interview…my birthplace, for example, and the situation back home. And my address… The place I am staying at now is a place that they had provided, anyway."

"I think it is better for you to leave that place at once." said s.h.i.+meno, and his eyes flicked to mine.

"Right. Would you be able to stay with Mitsuo-kun for the time being?"

"Mitsuo-kun also told me that I should stay with him. I will also look for a job after that. This time, I want a proper, respectable job so that I wouldn't embarra.s.s my friends…" said Saitou earnestly, albeit rather self-consciously.

I thought I had a general grasp of the situation here, but I didn't expect that Saitou would have had contact with one of the core members of the scam group. If somebody whose face they knew suddenly pulled out, it is likely that they would then put their guard up, and we cannot be sure that Saitou wouldn't face retaliation from the group after that. Hence, we should lay low for a while. Since it was s.h.i.+meno I asked for help on this job, I was sure he would be not be careless when dealing with this matter, plus by now it was clear to us that Saitou had regretted his actions. Like Mitsuo said, Saitou was not a bad person at heart.

It was near midnight by the time we finished talking. Just before he left, Saitou turned to face me and said: "Thank you very much indeed," with a deep bow. "I became determined to see this decision through because of Mebuki-san."

"Naw, I didn't do anything."

"Didn't you invite me to that hotpot meal? I mean, it was also because I was afraid of that yakuza too but… Eating that hittsumi… made me think about all sorts of things. My old man back home became bankrupt and all, but he is someplace else working his a.s.s off to repay his debt. And yet here I am, earning dirty money by helping scammers…"

I see. That hittsumi wasn't a mistake, after all. I glowed just a little bit brighter, and lightly patted Saitou's shoulders. He was only twenty-two, and could make a fresh start as many times as he liked.

Humans are fallible beings, and everyone makes some kind of mistake as they go about living their life. I have a vague feeling that my last thirty-three years were filled with mistakes, but what I believe is crucial here is not your infallibility, but whether or not you are able to put things right when you notice that you are in the wrong… Then again, it is far easier said than done.

After I saw Saitou out, s.h.i.+meno suggested that we have a drink.

I agreed, and made two whiskies 'on the rocks'. Wondering if I had any food to go with the drinks I opened the fridge to take look but there wasn't anything much in it. For the time being, I extracted a box of almond chocolates and some fish sausages from the fridge and placed them on the coffee table.

s.h.i.+meno sat with a gla.s.s in one hand, as he slackened his tie with the other. That gesture unwittingly reminded me so much of Hyoudou so I hurriedly averted my gaze. These two are really very much alike in appearance. Polar opposites on the inside, though.

"I think it's just a coincidence," said s.h.i.+meno, and I immediately knew what he was talking about.

Asahina… Asahina. If that was his real name, then I know a person of the same name. Asahina Wataru—back then, when I was still a lawyer, he was a young man under my charge who was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter.

"Akira, it was a case that was for you, literally bone-breaking, wasn't it?"

"I really did break one, after all."

It was five years ago, when late at night, I returned to the apartment that was I staying in at that time. The victim's father was standing there, in front of my door. The apartment had a security system on the main entrance but he had apparently managed to sneak into building behind a deliveryman. He looked considerably drunk, and asked me this simple question, "Why?"

Why are you pleading a case on behalf of a murderer? Why are you saying that he should not be put in jail—even though he killed my daughter? He killed the only daughter I ever had.

He was so inebriated that it was impossible to reason with him.

I had a feeling that I was in danger, and was about to return to the lobby on the first floor. I thought that there should be security personnel stationed there even at that time of the night, and I was hoping that there wouldn't be a need to call the police and blow up the matter—but I was wrong.

The victim's father chased after me, and we got into a tussle at the fire escape stairway. During the struggle, I slipped and fell down the stairs, hitting my head and losing consciousness. The father got spooked and ran away from the scene, but the security guard sensed that something was amiss. After finding me unconscious at the stairs, the guard had me sent to the hospital. I had taken a blow to the head and the MRI scan turned up no abnormalities, but I suffered a simple fracture in my forearm.

The following day, the father personally went down to the police station to turn himself in.

"That trial left a bad taste in my mouth… if we had to say who won or lost the case, I guess I did win, but it was depressing, really." I muttered, but s.h.i.+meno said, "You did the right thing."

The defendant whose case I was pleading for, Asahina Wataru, was twenty-two years of age at that time. He was the victim's boyfriend, and a university student.

This was how his case went; the girlfriend, who was of the same age as he was, started to have feelings that inclined her towards another person, and both of them got into a quarrel. She sent texts to him that said: "Let’s break up", and begin to refuse his calls.

Unable to contain himself any longer, Asahina waited for her in front of her apartment. To Asahina, who was brought up lacking in nothing in an affluent household, this failed relations.h.i.+p was the largest setback he ever had to face. He had intended to talk things over with her calmly, but it turned into a fiery argument in front of the apartment. He lost his cool and started to hurl verbal abuse at his already enraged girlfriend. Both of them were very much agitated by then and apparently words like "I'll kill you, I'll have you killed" were uttered.

Asahina then grabbed his girlfriend roughly by the collar and dragged her towards him. She was not very docile in the first place, and when she realized she could not match him in physical strength, she began to claw at Asahina's face. His eyes were about to get gouged out by her long fingernails, so he instinctively thrust his lover away from him. In high heeled mules, she became unsteady on her feet, after taking a couple of tottering steps backward, she lost her footing.

Behind her was a stairwell.

It was a building with a steel frame structure, and most of the units were one room units geared towards student tenants. From the top of an external staircase from such a building, she tumbled headfirst. Since she fell backward, she was unable to cus.h.i.+on her own fall so she had hit her head hard on the concrete staircase landing at the bottom of the stairway.

"… If her room was not on the second floor, this would not have happened."

It was far too late to think about things like that, but I still did.

Asahina immediately called an ambulance after that, but her neck was already broken. She died an instant death.

It was an accident, but there were no eye witnesses. And Asahina, at first glance, would seem like a gentle, calm young man, but he had a bad habit. He was perhaps what you would call a person who tends to lose his temper very quickly—in previous quarrels with his girlfriend, he would throw and break things, and had raised his hand against her a couple of times. Yet he would not hit her hard enough to bruise, and he would regret his actions and apologize to her after that, but he was unable to rid himself of this bad habit, and the girlfriend had once confided in a friend this worry of hers. Furthermore, when he got into that verbal argument with his girlfriend in front of her apartment, the inhabitants of that apartment heard the girl's shouts of "Help me, he'll kill me!", and the police arrived before the ambulance did.

Asahina was arrested as a murder suspect.

The prosecutor insisted that Asahina had shoved her backwards knowing that there was a staircase behind her, and that it was a deliberate act of murder. Asahina, after an excessively harsh and lengthy interrogation, testified that he "may have felt like killing her at some point during the argument". In court, I a.s.serted that there were problems with that interrogation, and that his statement was nothing more than just something they got a suspect to say under duress after they cornered him psychologically. Asahina had no intent to kill anyone, and it was an accident. In other words, it should be a homicide charge, I argued, incessantly.

"… I made use of the fact that the girl's father had also shoved me down a staircase, too." I recollected, while licking at drops of the whiskey which tasted awfully bitter.

—he knew there was a staircase there, and even if he did not intend to kill me, if we got into a struggle it is possible that he might end up pus.h.i.+ng me down the stairs. This is something that actually happened to me, after all. However, if I died of a broken neck it will still be an accident; you wouldn't able to call it a deliberate act of murder. I had appeared in court with my arm in a sling, and explained to the jury as such.

It was, after all, a lawyer's job to protect his client. I had a duty to protect the suspect, my client, from anything other than criminal punishment on justifiable grounds. Certainly, Asahina was a person who would beat his lover. However, one had to treat these two things as two separate issues. He was a violent person, but he had no wish to see anyone killed.

I do not know if my own fracture affected the court decision, but the court did find Asahina guilty of culpable homicide instead of murder, and gave him a suspended sentence. In tears, Asahina had clasped my hand in his—the one on the arm not in the sling, and thanked me repeatedly. His parents also expressed how grateful they were.

Yet, I am unable to forget the sight of the girl's father as he grabbed me, weeping as he said, give me back my daughter.

"… Come to think of it, you were a great help to me when I fractured my arm."

"Oh, you finally remembered?" said s.h.i.+meno in an exaggerated amazement. i was greatly inconvenienced as the arm that broke was my right one, so for a short while I sponged on s.h.i.+meno’s good will by staying in his apartment without paying rent.

"I was there for like, what, three months? It was more s.p.a.cious and more luxurious than my place too, so it was really comfortable."

"You could have stayed for as long as you liked. I have a room free, anyway." My big-hearted friend then picked up a piece of almond chocolate. I thought he was going to eat it himself, but he held it out towards me. I gratefully accepted it but, somehow it felt like I was being fed.

"But you would often nag at me like a sister-in-law, wouldn’t you? If I skipped breakfast you would go, 'Oh, you are harming your health. A lawyer's only resource is his physical well-being, you know' with this really scary look on your face."

"Oh, my bad, for being a nag." s.h.i.+meno tried to sound peeved, but he broke into laughter after that. I started laughing, too.

"… Hey, s.h.i.+meno. What did you think of Asahina, at that time?"

"I thought he was a spoilt, selfish brat that gets angry easily and is unable to deal with adversity. Yet I thought that he wasn't stupid. He had a side to him that was honest, and I believed he truly felt remorse for what he had done."

"Un. that was what I thought, too."

"—it is probably a coincidence that the name Asahina came up just now." said s.h.i.+meno from beside me as he drew nearer to me. The refres.h.i.+ng scent of his cologne wafted by. He had been using the same kind of cologne since a long time ago and that scent brought back memories.

"That's true. There are people who the same names after all… Anyway, thank you for coming down today, s.h.i.+meno. It's heartening to know that I have such an excellent lawyer close by."

"You were an excellent lawyer yourself, too."

"I wasn’t much good though." I said with a wry smile, as I drained the contents of my gla.s.s. "Didn't you use to tell me that I am too kind, too soft? That means, in other words, that I was weak, doesn't it?"

"Akira, I didn't mean it that way when I said that."

I know that, I said to s.h.i.+meno as I looked at him and smiled. "I know that that wasn’t what you meant. However, if you were a public prosecutor or a lawyer, just being kind will get you nowhere. A certain degree of cold, calculated decision making is required, no matter what case you were dealing with. This is especially true of lawyers. At times, a lawyer needs to distort the interpretation of  the law to suit the person he is pleading a case for. If he is unable to do that, he would not be able to help his client."

The ice in the gla.s.s in my hand melted with a sharp hiss and a crack. I fixed my gaze on the fissure that had appeared in the clear cube of ice as I continued speaking.

"Those who make a living doing this kind of work need to be strong, emotionally. Someone like you… who is calm, collected and tough. Someone like me, who is swayed by his own feelings, is of no good."

"Akira…"

"It's not like I'm trying to put myself down. This is simply a question of suitability. I wasn't suitable. That's all there is to it."

I couldn't bring myself to look at s.h.i.+meno's face directly when I said that, and I wonder if the reason was that somewhere inside my heart my feelings were actually more complicated that I would let on.

I said that I was weak.

It sounded better when I say that I was unsuitable for the job, but the crux is, I failed at that job.

"—can I speak my mind?"

At the sound of s.h.i.+meno's voice, I lifted my gaze from the gla.s.s. When it fell onto the man sitting beside me, I found that he was looking unflinchingly at me with that ever sincere expression in his eyes.

"… What is it?"

"Among all people I know, there is no one that is as open-minded as you are. 'If we discuss things over we'll understand each other' is what all of them say but only very few people actually do it. If only humans were rational beings that were good at communicating with each other, then there will be no disputes in this world, don't you think?"

"Eh well, there are wars being fought in various parts of the world right now, and there are neighbors who cannot stop fighting simply because someone's dog barks too loudly…" It is true, that for beings who can use words so freely, sadly do not do so to better understand each other.

"The only time people are honest with each other is perhaps when money is concerned. Other than that, there are many who only pretend to be honest when they really are not." said s.h.i.+meno.

"You are just as caustic as back then, aren't you?" I chuckled, but s.h.i.+meno's expression remained serious.

"However, you never run away from such honest discussions with people. Not when you were a prosecutor, not when you were a lawyer. Be it victims, or clients, you faced them wholeheartedly and you put all your cards on the table when you spoke with them—to the point it wore away at your own self." s.h.i.+meno had pointed out something that was correct, and I could only smile a strained smile in return.

"I didn't know how to do it any other way." I said.

"I knew that this was in your character, and I was worried for you. I thought that one day you might suffer a breakdown. After all, it is not uncommon for people to ruin their health and their psyche doing this kind of work. That is why, to be honest, when I heard you were going to quit being a lawyer, I was a little relieved."

"What the h.e.l.l, man." I said as I placed my gla.s.s on the table, and with a wry smile leaned back against the sofa. Perhaps it was because I drank two days in a row; the alcohol was going into my head pretty quickly.

"If you were able to lead a quieter, more placid life, I would have been fine with it. You are intelligent, and you will probably be able to do well in a private firm somewhere. Instead, what, a civilian negotiator? If you were going to do something like that my heart would have been more at ease with you being a civilian attorney."

"At ease, you say… s.h.i.+meno, you aren't my mother, you know." I said while laughing, but s.h.i.+meno frowned at me.

"It is weird to worry about a friend?"

"Naw, it isn't weird. I am grateful. However, though I have said it before, I really do like this office. I don't intend to ever wear a chrysanthemum or a sunflower badge1 again."

I wanted to stand among people and talk things out with them without a law compendium in my hands.

I basically hardly turn away requests, that is why I often do many small jobs. I've done marital mediation before; not divorce negotiation, but to act as a peacemaker between the married couple. A primary school kid once came by, and I was commissioned to 'negotiate with my mommy so that she'll buy me a new game console.' Of course, I couldn't take money from a primary school kid, so I gave him some advice. I told him that he could do something that will compel his mother to buy that game console for him, for example, help his mother out with household ch.o.r.es or something like that. I wonder how that kid was doing. I wondered if he was able to get the game console he wanted.

"It's fun, you know, this job." With a faint smile I added, "Doesn't earn me very much, though."

s.h.i.+meno, while still wearing a dour expression on his face, made clinking sounds as he shook the ice in his gla.s.s. "Akira, I'm aware, you know. That since you became a negotiator, you've been abducted by yakuza, gotten dragged into fistfights, fallen from the second floor of an apartment…"

"I didn't. I very nearly did, but didn't fall."

"Was that so? Anyway, it has been terrible, hasn't it? To make matter worse, of all people you and Suou-gumi's young head…"

Ahem, s.h.i.+meno cleared his throat instead of finis.h.i.+ng his sentence. I found it somewhat difficult to say anything regarding that matter, so I remained silent and attempted to swipe at the bottom of my nose.

"Are you, serious about him?" s.h.i.+meno asked.

I didn't have cheek to feign ignorance at what he meant by going "About what?" That being said, I couldn't tell him the truth because it is likely that s.h.i.+meno will chew me out when he hears it. The truthful answer to his question is "I do not know", to which he will probably press the issue by going: "You don't know, and yet you still continue to go out with that yakuza?"

But in all honesty, I do not know.

Furthermore, what does 'being serious' mean in the first place? If, for a man and a woman 'going out with each other with marriage in mind' is the benchmark for being serious, then what of a man and another man? For two men, all I can think of in place of marriage is adoption. In the case of adoption, the younger of the two will be registered as the adopted child in the family register of the elder one, thus in other words, Hyoudou will become my son…  No no no. Not possible. Pray, spare me a son like that.

"Akira."

"Eh… erm."

What then should I say to s.h.i.+meno, who was waiting for my reply? Hard pressed for anything to say, I impulsively reached for the fish sausages in front of me and jabbed it in his direction. "Have some?" I asked, inanely.

s.h.i.+meno was a picture of exasperation as he looked at me, at the sausages and back at me again. He finally took a sausage, and in between sighs, started to peel off the transparent film.

Translation Notes

1 In j.a.pan, as a form of identification, prosecutors wear lapel pins with white chrysanthemum petals and gold leaves, with a red morning sun in its centre. Trial lawyers wear a 16-petal sunflower with a pair of scales in its centre. Read all about it . It’s interesting s.h.i.+t.

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