The Lawgivers: Gabriel Part 11

That thought gave rise to more curiosity about him and she frowned. aHow did you learn to be so very good at f.u.c.king then? Did they teach you that, too?a His face reddened but he laughed, this time with genuine amus.e.m.e.nt. Gathering her into an embrace, he grinned down at her. aYou think Iam very good at it?a She blushed, certain shead said something that had amused him, but not sure what it was. aYes.a aSo you wonat mind if I wanted to do that again?a aNo. I wouldnat mind.a His amus.e.m.e.nt slowly faded. aBut only me.a Lexa felt as if her chest had suddenly caved in. aYou want me for your woman?a she gasped.

He stiffened, his hands tightening on her for a moment before he released her. af.u.c.k!a he muttered under his breath.

As embarra.s.sed and dismayed as she was, Lexa was more confused. She studied his face a little anxiously. aYou didnat mean it that way?a He shook his head.

aOh,a Lexa said, feeling deflated and more embarra.s.sed. aI thought a you said you didnat want me to f.u.c.k another man.a He looked angry, looked as if he would say something and then decided against it. Instead, he glanced up at the sky. aWe should find shelter. It looks like thereas a storm gathering.a * * * *

It was as well that making camp was so ingrained that it required no real thought. Gah-re-al was too busy kicking himself to spare time for anything else.

He didnat even know why head said that to her. One moment he was teasing, the next a.

He knew why head said it, he realized with disgust. As soon as shead told him she wouldnat mind if he did that to her again it had flashed through his mind that, in her world, among her own kind, the men took what they wanted. She wouldnat deny herself to any man that demanded it. She wouldnat have survived as long as she had if she wasnat smart enough to know that any man that wanted her could, and probably would, force his will upon her.

She might not want anyone else to touch her but there was nothing she could do to prevent it.

Head wanted his ego stroked, though. Head wanted to hear her say she didnat want anyone else touching her like that.

Where had it come from, he wondered in angry disgust? It was almost as if head been flirting with an udai woman, had completely forgot for a handful of critical moments that she was human.

If shead been an udai woman it wouldave been a stupid thing to say!

He was a Lawgiver. He couldnat have a woman. There was no place in his life for one. There was certainly no way he could have a woman like Lexa, a human.

Even if it was alloweda"and he knew d.a.m.ned well it wouldnat bea"he had no place for her. He couldnat take her to live among his own people, and if he left her with hers a.

He thrust the thought from his mind, angry that head even gone so far in his thoughts as to consider the impossibility of it and the inadvisability of it. Where the h.e.l.l had such thoughts come from anyway?

Head enjoyed f.u.c.king her and he wasnat the least bit averse to doing it againa"as often as she was willing and he felt like it, but he could say the same for any of the women head bedded.

He paused and stared hard at the armload of materials head gathered for making a fire, his mind going back over the women head f.u.c.ked. He was d.a.m.ned if he could remember half the names or any of the faces.

Well, except Maya a and Phil-a-shee, but he didnat think he wouldave remembered Phil-a-shee if not for their most recent, and unpleasant, encounter.

He couldnat recall that head ever wondered who or even if theyad shared their bed with any other man. He was fairly certain he hadnat cared enough to consider it. He certainly hadnat cared enough to consider demanding exclusive rights.

That was tantamount to a commitment and he didnat make commitments beyond the momenta"mostly because the moment was all he could count on.

So what the h.e.l.l had possessed him to say such a thing to Lexa?

Impulse? He didnat act on impulses. Acting without thinking could get someone killed really quicklya"especially in the wastelands of the new world.

Chapter Thirteen.

Lexa was so embarra.s.sed and uncomfortable after shead stuck her foot in her mouth all she really wanted to do was find someplace to hide. That wasnat possible, of course. She was stranded in the city with Gabriel and, in any case, there was no place she could hide from him that he couldnat find her.

And his mood had s.h.i.+fted so radically after her stupid a.s.sumption that she didnat think trying to disappear was a good idea at all. He hadnat had any trouble tracking her down when shead ignored his orders before and left. She didnat think head have any difficulty now and that was almost guaranteed to p.i.s.s him off. Shead long since decided that it wasnat going to be safe to attempt an escape until he ceased to watch her so closely a or went back to tracking.

After a while, though, she realized there wasnat even any point in trying to hide. Head become so distant she might not have been there at all.

In any case, scrambling to find what they needed to make camp before the storm hit occupied her enough to allow her unsettling emotions time to calm. Theyad found a place that was relatively intact, almost like a deep cave. The windows in the front were no more than a gaping maw, of course, but the sides and back seemed solid enough and there were several floors above the one they chose that also seemed solid. It made Lexaas flesh creep to think about the building above them, particularly considering how many collapsed buildings shead seen, but she did her best to put it from her mind.

The rain had already begun to fall before theyad gathered enough to keep even a small fire going throughout the night, only a few drops here and there, but big, fat cold drops that encouraged her to move faster without any prompting. Dropping her last load next to Gabriel, who was busy building a fire, with a sense of relief, she headed to the very back corner of the building and sat down with her back wedged in the V the back and side wall created. She was damp and s.h.i.+vering. The wind came with the rain and howled around the building like banshees, blasting chilling gusts into their sanctuary that whipped the flames of the fire as it caught and nearly put it out.

Gabriel looked around when he finally had the fire going satisfactorily. He spied her almost immediately even though Lexa knew she had to be almost completely cloaked in shadows. aYou arenat going to get warm back there,a he said coolly.

aIam fine,a Lexa responded, struggling to keep her teeth from clacking together.

He studied her for a long moment and finally got up.

Her heart skipped several beats, but he headed toward the front of the building rather than in her direction, standing just beyond the curtain of water that had replaced the spattering drops that had chased her inside. Relieved, Lexa studied him for a while and finally transferred her attention to the rain.

It was unnerving to see so much water falling from the sky. It was even more unnerving that the rain was accompanied by almost blinding, flas.h.i.+ng light and great explosions of sound that, at times, made vibrations travel through the seemingly solid rock beneath and behind her. Shead never seen the like of ita"nothing so powerful and frightening, at any rate.

It rained in the desert occasionally. Quite often only enough rain fell to dampen the ground, though, and her clothes, making her thoroughly miserable since she rarely found much in the way of shelter in time to avoid getting drenched. Shead even seen the flashes of light and heard the booming that seemed to accompany it several times, but usually far into the distance. The only time shead seen anything even close to the storm cras.h.i.+ng around them now was when shead been a small child and shead had her mother to cuddle her and protect her then.

Of course her mother had been nearly as frightened by the storm as she was, but it had still been comforting to be sheltered in the warmth of her motheras embrace, curled in a tight ball next to her younger sister and brothers.

She wondered if her little sister was still alive or if shead died long agoa"either in childbirth or at the hands of the man Ralph had traded her off to.

She wondered if there was any chance at all that her little brothers were still alive. Ralph had suggested head killed them, but now she wondered if that was what head really meant when head said head disposed of them or if head only said that to torment her.

She hadnat allowed herself to think about them. Every time the memories tried to surface, she beat them down and forced them to the back of her mind again because allowing herself to think about them only made her cry. And that was not only a useless waste of energy, it was dangerous to allow herself to be distracted.

Abruptly, though, the things Gabriel had said seemed to a.s.semble themselves into a much larger picture than shead seen before.

The angel-demonsa"the udai as he called thema"were gathering her people together to teach them the things theyad lost. If that truly was the case, then they would bring her little sister and brothers to the same place, wouldnat they?

a.s.suming they were still alive.

A feeling she was almost totally unfamiliar with filled her, a sort of airy lightness that made her chest feel tight. It wasnat the painful sadness she was used to. It was a tentative sort of happiness that made her feel like she had a smile trapped inside. It was like the feeling she got when shead been without food and water for a long time and thought shead spied a place where she might get them.

Hopefulness.

Those thoughts drew her from her internal focus to Gabriel. She saw that head found containers among the trash and had lined them up along the bottom of the window to catch the water falling out of the sky.

Shead tried that. She never caught much. The water always seemed to miss the cans and fall around them, but with so many she thought he might catch enough for a few days.

Not that that mattered to him, she supposed. He could fly. If he found himself without water, he could soar right up into the sky and fly around until he spotted a waterhole below him. Or he could fly back to the village of his people and get water.

She hadnat considered that before, she realized. No wonder his people always looked like they had plenty! They must be able to find everything they needed so much easier because they could go up into the sky and see for long distances.

Not that that was easy. It looked effortless when she was on the ground looking up, but she knew from the times head taken her with him that it was hard work even though he seemed able to soar with the air beneath his wings a lot.

She saw when Gabriel reached the fire again that he was wet from the rain that had blown in. He crouched before the fire and lifted his wings, shaking them. Water drops flew in every direction. The fire leapt upward, sending sparks out in a shower and then settled again. He fed more of the pieces of dried plants to the fire and straightened, heading directly toward her.

Lexaas discomfort, forgotten as she gathered the makings of a camp and her mind wandered to her family, reared its head again as he settled beside her.

Drawing his legs up, he settled his forearms on his knees. aAbout what I said earlier a.a Lexa cringed inwardly. Head told her before that he couldnat take her as his woman. Shead forgotten that because head made her feel so wonderful.

Or maybe she hadnat forgotten? Maybe shead just done as she so often did with unpleasant things. Maybe shead just pushed it to the back of her mind where it couldnat hurt her? aI misunderstood, thatas all,a she said hurriedly.

He frowned, studying his hands. She had the feeling that he wanted to leave it at that. She certainly did. He grimaced. aNot entirely.a He shook his head.

Lexa felt her heart jerk almost painfully in her chest, but she was afraid to guess what head meant.

aIn other circ.u.mstances a,a he began again and then paused once more as if searching for words.

She didnat think he needed to explain it. As soon as he said that she realized that he was saying it wasnat possible even if he wanted to and that was enough. She didnat even know why it was that shead leapt to such a stupid conclusion when head already said he didnat want her as his woman.

Because she had wanted it, she realized. Somehow, shead thought, hoped, that head been so pleased with the experience that head changed his mind.

How stupid was that?

aBut it is what it is,a she agreed, hoping head just drop the subject, then added, partly from curiosity and partly to divert him from saying more, aWhy did you bring me here?a Gah-re-al flicked a look at her and frowned at his hands, feeling an uncomfortable sensation twist his belly. It only took a moment to identify it.

Guilt. Head brought her to convince her to tell him about the other villages shead found to make it easier for him to find them and it suddenly felt like a betrayal. He hadnat thought of it, before, as using her. Head told himself that it was for the best for her people and he truly thought it was, and it still felt like duplicity and he felt treacherous for having worked to gain her trust for his own ends.

Lexa hesitated, but as soon as shead thought of her family and the possibility that they might still be alive, shead made her decision. She could just hope that the angela"the udai, she corrected herselfa"found them or she could lead Gabriel to where shead last seen them. aI could a show you where there are others, more villages a,a she began hesitantly.

The sense of guilt vanished abruptly and a sense of fierce satisfaction took its place. Gah-re-al had wanted to get his hands on Ralph since shead told him what the b.a.s.t.a.r.d had done. He tensed and looked at her more fully then, lifting his dark brows questioningly.

Lexa sucked her lower lip. aIf I tell you, would you a?a She paused again, wondering if it was a mistake to tell him anything at all. She didnat really know him. He seemed to be willing to help, but she knew from experience that that might not be true. People often pretended to be one way when they were entirely different. aMy little sister and brothers might still be alive,a she continued after a little soul searching. aI think Ralph might have lied and they might be in his village. Will you try to find them?a The anger that tightened his face wasnat feigned. aYou can count on that,a he said tightly.

Gah-re-al was far from immune to the hopefulness in Lexaas voice when shead spoken of her siblings. It produced an odd sort of sinking feeling in his gut, but the prospect of getting his hands on Ralph so far eclipsed that sour note with a sense of triumph that it even smothered the guilt that had preceded it. Ralph had earned the death penalty many times over, he thought with a mixture of rage, disgust, and savage satisfaction.

He was going to enjoy that one.

It was a disturbing thought.

He followed orders and his orders were to exterminate the most violent offenders, with a special emphasis on the repeat offendersa"like the men head dispatched in the latest village head discovered. He didnat derive any satisfaction from carrying out his orders beyond the knowledge that they would never again commit the atrocities theyad been executed fora"and the satisfaction of still being among the living afterward.

He didnat merely want to execute Ralph for his crimes as quickly and cleanly as possible, however. He wanted the b.a.s.t.a.r.d to live long enough to suffer and regret every time head beaten and raped Lexa.

That was the part that was disturbing. The law was clear that infractions were punishable by confinement or execution if the crime warranted ita"not torture.

He wrestled with his conscience for a while and finally put it aside with the reflection that he couldnat antic.i.p.ate what would happen when and if he managed to get hold of the self-proclaimed king, Ralph. He might be forced to beat the b.a.s.t.a.r.d down to capture him.

After a while his complaining stomach distracted him and he dug rations out of his pack, offering Lexa one of the meals. He had to show her how to use the chemical heating method and open it for her. She looked torn between amazement and uneasiness. Amus.e.m.e.nt flickered through him. aItas safe to eat.a She still looked a little doubtful, but she carefully tried a small bite and then beamed at him. aIt tastes a. Itas wonderful! What is it?a aYou wouldnat know if I told you,a he responded with a chuckle.

She considered that and then discarded the question and focused on eating.

They had to share his nitin. She studied it over when he handed it to her. aThis is a strange thing. It feels like plasty but it looks like can.a aWe havenat found the materials this was made of here on your world.a She took a few sips of the water it held and carefully handed it back to him. aWhat was it like on the world you came from?a He frowned. He didnat particularly like remembering. aColder,a he said shortly.

aAll the time?a she asked in surprise.

aYes. In the spring and summer and fall it was cold and in the winter it was bitter cold. It was further from its stara"its suna"than your world is.a Lexa frowned. aSooo a you didnat play outside when you were a child?a It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her he didnat want to talk about it at all, but he didnat like the way she had of withdrawing when he was brusque with her. Instead, he shrugged. He doubted that the aplaya he took part in in anyway resembled what she was talking about. It hadnat even been the sort of thing children outside the orphan facility did. aWar games. Exercise. Team sports.a Lexa smiled at him even though she had no idea what any of those games might be like. aWhen I was really little and wasnat very good at many ch.o.r.es, before my mother died, it was my job to take care of my little sister and brothers so that mother and Sir could work and we played games. Our favorite was hide and go seek.a She thought about it. aWell, they were younger than me and they didnat really understand it that well, but it was still fun. I would cover my eyes and count and they would find a place to hide. It never took me very long to find them because they always hid in the same places,a she ended, chuckling at the memory.

aThat was somewhat like one of the war games we played,a Gah-re-al said, surprised. aThey would divide us up and we were enemies and we had to hunt our enemies and kill them.a Lexa gaped at him in horror. aKill them?a He chuckled at the look on her face. aPlay kill.a aOh,a Lexa responded, still dismayed. aWas it a fun?a aYes. I guess. When I found and killed the most I got to go inside and get warm. I usually managed to find and kill the most once I found out Iad be excused to go inside,a he added with amus.e.m.e.nt.

Lexa mulled that over a while. aWhat happened to the ones that you play killed?a He shrugged and then grinned. aThey had to stay outside and practice more.a It didnat sound to her like head had very much fun growing up. Of course, she didnat really understand the aexercisea and the ateam sportsa, but it seemed to her that he was saying the war games were the most fun and that didnat sound like fun to her at all.

When shead finished her food, Gabriel took the container from her, flattened it so that it looked like paper and shoved it back in his pack with his empty container. aWe reuse these,a he said at her questioning look. aTo waste is to want.a It seemed a curious thing to saya"almost accusinga"but she was sleepy. She didnat ask him what he meant. She curled up tightly and wrapped her thin blanket around her shoulders. With a full stomach and the heat from the fire she was more comfortable than shead been since she could remember.

She was drowsing, drifting lazily toward sleep, when Gabriel gathered her close against his body. Pleasure wafted through her along with the thought that he must mean to couple with her, but she fell into the abyss of sleep still waiting.

Gah-re-alas mind leapt from the mostly unselfish impulse to share his body heat with Lexa since she was s.h.i.+vering to the completely selfish impulse to initiate s.e.x almost the instant he felt her snuggle against his length and relax.

He dismissed the thought immediately. He was already feeling the effects of the long flight to reach the city and not just weary but sore. Beyond that, head screwed up and given her the impression that their liaison was more than it wasa"or could be. s.e.x at this point was a very bad idea even if she was agreeable.

And he doubted that she would be. Very likely she was as tired and sore as he was from the trip. She hadnat seemed angry but his experience with women had taught him that they had a way of pretending they werenat until one broached the atouchya subject in any way. Then they transformed from meek and cuddly to wildcat in the blink of an eye.

He wasnat in the mood to deal with that.

Of course, shead said she wouldnat mind f.u.c.king again, he recalled.

Head been trying to forget the uncomfortable incident but once that thought occurred to him, he struggled to recreate the discussion, trying to recall whether that statement was made before or after head screwed up. He was fairly certain that it was before and possibly what had led him to utter the remark that shead misunderstood, which probably meant that shead rescinded the offer, he decided with some disappointment.

She hadnat said so, but that didnat mean she hadnat changed her mind.

He dismissed the urge and focused on relaxing but just about the time he felt himself drifting toward sleep, Lexa s.h.i.+fted restlessly against him and woke his d.i.c.ks up. That circ.u.mstance redirected his mind to f.u.c.king again except that time he was groggy enough it seemed like a good idea.

It did flicker through his mind that she might not be agreeable to the idea, but he couldnat remember why she might not and decided it was worth a try. If she pushed him away or clobbered him, that was a no. If she didnat do either, he reasoned, she was either in the mood or too far gone to fight back.

It was the languid heat of pa.s.sion that dragged Lexa up from the depths of sleep. She resisted briefly, trying to hug the threads of sleep tightly enough to submerge herself in nothingness again. Even as she struggled back toward the depths, however, her mind sent out feelers to determine the source of the burgeoning pleasure/discomfort.

There was a hot mouth attached to one of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, pulling at it and sending spirals of pleasurable heat through her and the binding she used on her b.r.e.a.s.t.s was wedged beneath one of them causing the discomfort. Since Gabriel was the only man that had ever given her pleasure with his touch it didnat take more than a handful of moments to connect the dots. Confusion still wafted through her.

Hadnat he changed his mind about f.u.c.king?

It seemed to her that he had, but as she roused a little further, she verified that it was definitely Gabriel and if the hand wedged between her belly and her trousers, slowly inching toward her mound, was any indication, he had coupling on his mind. Briefly, she debated whether to ask him if that was what he had in mind or not, but talking seemed like too much effort. In any case, she was still torn between the conflicting desire to go back to sleep and interest in rousing enough to enjoy his s.e.xual play.

She was also comfortable enough clothed that the idea of stripping her clothes off didnat have a lot of appeal.

She decided to let him have his way. If he wanted to f.u.c.k badly enough to figure out how to get her out of her clothes, he could do it. She was too sleepy to feel like dragging them off and then putting them on again.