On Mystic Lake Part 35

JMG: The book ends with Annie throwing caution to the wind and driving to Mystic to reunite with Nick. How does this show Annie's evolution toward embracing herself and her own needs? Did you ever consider actually writing a scene showing their reunion and ending the novel that way, with a happy ending? Or how is The book ends with Annie throwing caution to the wind and driving to Mystic to reunite with Nick. How does this show Annie's evolution toward embracing herself and her own needs? Did you ever consider actually writing a scene showing their reunion and ending the novel that way, with a happy ending? Or how is this this that happy ending? that happy ending?

KH: Actually, I didn't see the ending as "throwing caution to the wind and driving to Mystic to reunite with Nick." To me, Annie was finally embracing her future and allowing her past to be part of who she would become. I saw her, this woman who had let herself be confined and held back, as driving toward her own self-determined future . . . and that Nick was the reward for that courageous choice, rather than the reason for it. Not surprisingly, I did write the happy-ever-after reunion scene; it was in several versions of the novel. Ultimately, I decided against it. I thought it made the story seem smaller somehow. I preferred ending on the note that Annie had the whole world open to her and she was in the driver's seat. She could go anywhere; to me, Actually, I didn't see the ending as "throwing caution to the wind and driving to Mystic to reunite with Nick." To me, Annie was finally embracing her future and allowing her past to be part of who she would become. I saw her, this woman who had let herself be confined and held back, as driving toward her own self-determined future . . . and that Nick was the reward for that courageous choice, rather than the reason for it. Not surprisingly, I did write the happy-ever-after reunion scene; it was in several versions of the novel. Ultimately, I decided against it. I thought it made the story seem smaller somehow. I preferred ending on the note that Annie had the whole world open to her and she was in the driver's seat. She could go anywhere; to me, that that was the happy ending. And let's face it: We all know she ends up with Nick. was the happy ending. And let's face it: We all know she ends up with Nick.

JMG: As the story unfolded, what did Annie do that most surprised you? Or did you always know exactly what her next step would be? As the story unfolded, what did Annie do that most surprised you? Or did you always know exactly what her next step would be?

KH: I'm not often surprised by my characters. As a writer, I'm very in control. Perhaps it's my legal background. That being said, however, I was shocked that Nick and Annie slept together on their first meeting. I knew there would be all the sparks of a long ago, never-quite-forgotten young love, but s.e.x? I had no idea. I'm not often surprised by my characters. As a writer, I'm very in control. Perhaps it's my legal background. That being said, however, I was shocked that Nick and Annie slept together on their first meeting. I knew there would be all the sparks of a long ago, never-quite-forgotten young love, but s.e.x? I had no idea.

JMG: I'm sure that readers would love to see what happens with Annie, Nick, Blake, and the entire cast of characters in a sequel. Do you have any plans to write one? Or do you feel that the arc of this story-and these characters-is complete? I'm sure that readers would love to see what happens with Annie, Nick, Blake, and the entire cast of characters in a sequel. Do you have any plans to write one? Or do you feel that the arc of this story-and these characters-is complete?

KH: Of all the novels I've written, Of all the novels I've written, On Mystic Lake On Mystic Lake is the book that seems to demand a sequel. At least that's what my readers tell me. To me, though, the story is complete. I've told all the story that's mine to tell. They really do live happily ever after. I've learned never to say never, but I sure don't see a sequel in the future. is the book that seems to demand a sequel. At least that's what my readers tell me. To me, though, the story is complete. I've told all the story that's mine to tell. They really do live happily ever after. I've learned never to say never, but I sure don't see a sequel in the future.

JMG: Do you have any routines or rituals you adhere to while you're writing, which facilitate the process and bring you inspiration and creativity? What are they? Do you have any routines or rituals you adhere to while you're writing, which facilitate the process and bring you inspiration and creativity? What are they?

KH: Like most working mothers, I have a pretty rigid schedule. For the most part, I write on school days during school hours. This allows me to take off a lot of time during the summer and winter breaks to be with my family. In a couple of years my son will be going off to college and then I imagine I'll rea.s.sess this schedule, but for now it works beautifully. I get the best of both worlds: a career I love and the ability to be a stay-at-home mom. Like most working mothers, I have a pretty rigid schedule. For the most part, I write on school days during school hours. This allows me to take off a lot of time during the summer and winter breaks to be with my family. In a couple of years my son will be going off to college and then I imagine I'll rea.s.sess this schedule, but for now it works beautifully. I get the best of both worlds: a career I love and the ability to be a stay-at-home mom.

As for routines that inspire me and/or fuel my creativity, I don't really have any. I don't light candles or burn incense or listen to music. For me, the best spur to creativity is living as full a life as I can-seeing and talking to friends, hanging out with my family, traveling, going to the movies. The more I'm a part of the crazy madness of ordinary life, the more I have to write about.

JMG: You wrote this book several years ago. Does it differ from the novels that preceded it, and those that came after? If so, how? You wrote this book several years ago. Does it differ from the novels that preceded it, and those that came after? If so, how?

KH: On Mystic Lake On Mystic Lake was truly a break out, path-changing book for me. Prior to it, I had been writing historical romances, and although I loved them, as I got older I found that I wanted to write bigger contemporary novels that reflected the world I saw around me. While many of my novels still feature love stories, they also now explore the myriad other relations.h.i.+ps that touch and shape our lives. I have stayed on that path since was truly a break out, path-changing book for me. Prior to it, I had been writing historical romances, and although I loved them, as I got older I found that I wanted to write bigger contemporary novels that reflected the world I saw around me. While many of my novels still feature love stories, they also now explore the myriad other relations.h.i.+ps that touch and shape our lives. I have stayed on that path since Mystic. Mystic. Most of my novels are centered on a woman's coming of age-a thing that can happen at any time in life and always brings with it a host of unexpected choices and challenges. Most of my novels are centered on a woman's coming of age-a thing that can happen at any time in life and always brings with it a host of unexpected choices and challenges.

JMG: Is there a particular story idea that's currently sparking your imagination? What can readers expect next from you? Is there a particular story idea that's currently sparking your imagination? What can readers expect next from you?

KH: Currently I am putting the finis.h.i.+ng touches on Currently I am putting the finis.h.i.+ng touches on The The Things We Do for Love. Things We Do for Love. It's the story of an unlikely friends.h.i.+p that forms between a woman who can't have children and the troubled teenage girl who changes her life. It is an intensely emotional, deeply felt novel that journeys to the very heart of what it means to be a family. After that, who knows? I guess I'll have to start hanging out with my girl-friends and my family and live life to the fullest . . . and see where it takes me. It's the story of an unlikely friends.h.i.+p that forms between a woman who can't have children and the troubled teenage girl who changes her life. It is an intensely emotional, deeply felt novel that journeys to the very heart of what it means to be a family. After that, who knows? I guess I'll have to start hanging out with my girl-friends and my family and live life to the fullest . . . and see where it takes me.

QUESTIONS AND TOPICS FOR DISCUSSION.

On Mystic Lake opens with two scenes of leaving- Natalie fleeing California for England, and Blake quitting his marriage. How do these two acts set the tone for the rest of the book? How is it significant that Annie has little agency, or choice, in these decisions? opens with two scenes of leaving- Natalie fleeing California for England, and Blake quitting his marriage. How do these two acts set the tone for the rest of the book? How is it significant that Annie has little agency, or choice, in these decisions?At the beginning of the novel, how is Annie, in effect, trapped by her own image? How has she fas.h.i.+oned that persona, and how is it the creation of her husband, Blake?Why do you think Kristin Hannah tells the story through several narrative points of view, including those of Annie, Blake, Nick, and Izzy? What does this add to your understanding of the novel? Is there one character that you consider to be the true voice of On Mystic Lake On Mystic Lake?After Blake asks for a divorce, Annie admits that she's put her family's needs above her own. What events in her past have spurred her to do so? How has she been rewarded for her selflessness, and how has it been damaging to her development?Annie and Nick are both linked by loss in their families. How does learning to live alone-and discovering yourself in the process-const.i.tute a theme of the book? In your opinion, who is the most successful at forging his or her own ident.i.ty? Why?Why didn't Kathy and Annie keep in touch after high school? Do you think that Annie felt guilty about losing contact? Why or why not?Why do you think Nick chooses to date and marry Kathy, in lieu of Annie? How does this decision affect the dynamic of the "gruesome threesome"? Ultimately, do you think Nick made the correct choice? Based on his memories of Kathy, do you think he truly loved his wife? Why or why not?How does Annie react when she learns of Kathy's suicide? What do you think drove Kathy to end her life? How has it affected Nick and, most notably, Izzy?Why is taking care of Nick and Izzy so important to Annie? What tools does she use to appeal to Izzy, and to make the child feel cherished and cared for? What is it about Annie that appeals to Izzy, and vice versa? How does Annie's relations.h.i.+p with Natalie parallel the rapport she enjoys with Izzy?The relations.h.i.+ps between fathers and daughters are integral to the development of both parties in On Mystic On Mystic Lake. Lake. Compare and contrast the relations.h.i.+ps of Hank and Annie, Blake and Natalie, and Nick and Izzy. What does each daughter want from her father? As the story unfolds, do the fathers change to become more receptive to their daughters' needs, and if so, how? In your opinion, who has the greatest chance to establish and maintain a successful father-daughter relations.h.i.+p? Compare and contrast the relations.h.i.+ps of Hank and Annie, Blake and Natalie, and Nick and Izzy. What does each daughter want from her father? As the story unfolds, do the fathers change to become more receptive to their daughters' needs, and if so, how? In your opinion, who has the greatest chance to establish and maintain a successful father-daughter relations.h.i.+p?What does the compa.s.s symbolize to Annie? Why does she stop wearing it around her neck, and why does she begin to wear it again later? Why does she give it to Izzy?"It doesn't matter," Annie says to Nick about her love for him. At that point, why doesn't she believe that her pa.s.sion for Nick can guide her life? How is she a pragmatist, and how is she a romantic? Ultimately, what compels her to change her mind and leave Blake?Kathy didn't want to "live in the darkness." How do each of the characters in the book deal with grief, depression, and loneliness? What coping mechanisms do they use to cope and grow?What shakes Nick into seeking help for his drinking problem? How does his drinking mirror his mother's? In what ways is he a product of the nature versus nurture argument?Why does Izzy stop talking? What compels her to speak again, and how is Annie instrumental in drawing Izzy out? Why is she wary of speaking to Nick, and how do the two slowly rebuild a rapport? How does Annie facilitate mending the breach between father and daughter?"Our lives are mapped out long before we know enough to ask the right questions," says Nick. What questions do you think Nick would like to ask? In what ways are Nick and Annie trapped by having to do what is expected of them? Ultimately, how do they exercise free will over their own lives? How do the other characters in the novel do the same?Annie's known in various ways-including Annie Bourne, Annalise Colwater, Mrs. Blake Colwater, mother, wife. How does each name or designation const.i.tute a different ident.i.ty? At the end of the book, has she embraced one or the other of these ident.i.ties, or has she developed a new one? How does she incorporate each of these ident.i.ties into a newly forged character?What compels Blake to end his affair with Suzannah and call Annie? Why doesn't she immediately return to him and to her marriage? How does he view her as a prize to be won? Does he exhibit love toward her? How?How does Annie's relations.h.i.+p with her daughter change once Natalie goes to England? In which ways does Natalie look up to and admire Annie? With what aspects of her mother's character does Natalie find fault? Do you think Natalie's personality is at all similar to her father's? How?How does Annie's pregnancy represent a turning point for her? Why does she return to Blake after she realizes she's carrying his child? Why doesn't she remain with Nick?How does Nick help Annie grapple with her fear and concern about the premature baby? How do his actions contrast with Blake's behavior? Why doesn't Annie's husband connect with children?How do you think Annie would act and feel after signing her divorce papers? How is this character different than the one we meet at the beginning of the book? Why does Annie feel buoyant at the end of the book?Do you believe that at the end of the story Annie will have a joyous reunion with Nick and Izzy? Do you think she'll open that bookstore in Mystic? Why or why not?

Read on for an exciting preview of Kristin Hannah's next wonderful novel,

THE THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE.

Available in in hardcover hardcover in in summer summer 2004. 2004.

Published by by Ballantine Ballantine Books. Books.

a cognizant original release september 24 2010

The streets of West End were crowded on this unexpectedly sunny day. All across town mothers stood in open doorways, with hands tented across their eyes, watching their children play. Everyone knew that soon-probably tomorrow-a soapy haze would creep across the sky, covering the blue, obliterating the delicate sun, and once more the rain would fall.

It was May, after all, in the Pacific Northwest. Rain came to this month as surely as ghosts took to the streets on the thirty-first of October and salmon came home from the sea.

"It sure is hot," Conlan said from the driver's seat of the sleek black BMW convertible. It was the first thing he'd said in almost an hour.

He was trying to make conversation; that was all. Angie should return the volley, perhaps mention the beautiful hawthorn trees that were in bloom. But even as she had the thought, she was exhausted by it. In a few short months, those tiny green leaves would curl and blacken; the color would be drawn out of them by cold nights, and they would fall to the ground, unnoticed.

When you looked at it that way, what was the point in noticing so fleeting a moment?

She stared out the window at her hometown. It was the first time she'd been back in months. Although West End was only one hundred twenty miles from Seattle, that distance had seemed to swell lately in her mind. As much as she loved her family, she'd found it difficult to leave her own house. Out in the world, there were babies everywhere.

They drove into the old part of town, where Victorian houses had been built one after another on tiny patches of lawn. Huge, leafy maple trees shaded the street, cast an intricate lacework pattern of light on the asphalt. In the seventies, this neighborhood had been the town's heart. Kids had been everywhere back then, riding their Big Wheels and Schwinn bicycles from one house to the next. There had been block parties every Sunday after church, and games of Red Rover played in every backyard.

In the years between then and now, this part of the state had changed, and the old neighborhoods had fallen into silence and disrepair. Salmon runs had diminished and the timber industry had been hit hard. People who had once made their living from the land and the sea had been pushed aside, forgotten; new residents built their houses in cl.u.s.ters, in subdivisions named after the very trees they cut down.

But here, on this small patch of Maple Drive, time had stood still. The last house on the block looked exactly as it had for forty years. The white paint was pure and perfect; the emerald green trim glistened. No weed had ever been allowed to flourish in the lawn. Angie's father had tended to this house for four decades; it had been his pride and joy. Every Monday, after a weekend of hard work at the family's restaurant, he'd devoted a full twelve-hour day to home and garden maintenance. Since his death, Angie's mother had tried to follow that routine. It had become her solace, her way of connecting with the man she'd loved for almost fifty years, and when she tired of the hard work, someone was always ready to lend a hand. Such help, Mama often reminded them, was the advantage to having three daughters. Her payoff, she claimed, for surviving their teen years.

Conlan pulled up to the curb and parked. As the convertible top shushed mechanically into place, he turned to Angie. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"I'm here, aren't I?" She turned to look at him finally. He was exhausted; she saw the glint of it in his blue eyes but knew he wouldn't say more, wouldn't say anything that might remind her of the baby they'd lost a few months ago.

They sat there, side by side in silence. The air-conditioner made a soft whoos.h.i.+ng noise.

The old Conlan would have leaned over and kissed her now, would have told her he loved her, and those few and tender words would have saved her, but they were past such comfort these days. The love they'd once shared felt far, far away, as faded and lost as her childhood.

"We could leave right now. Say the car broke down," he said, trying to be the man he used to be, the man who could tease his wife into smiling.

She didn't look at him. "Are you kidding? They all think we paid too much for this car. Besides, Mama already knows we're here. She might talk to dead people, but she has the hearing of a bat."

"She's in the kitchen making ten thousand cannoli for twenty people. And your sisters haven't stopped talking since they walked in the door. We could escape in the confusion." He smiled. For a moment everything felt normal between them, as if there were no ghosts in the car. She wished it were an ease that could last.

"Livvy cooked three ca.s.seroles," she muttered. "Mira probably crocheted a new tablecloth and made us all matching ap.r.o.ns."

"Last week you had two pitch meetings and a commercial shoot. It's hardly worth your time to cook."

Poor Conlan. Fourteen years of marriage and he still didn't understand the dynamics of the DeSaria family. Cooking was more than a job or a hobby; it was a kind of currency, and Angie was broke. Her papa, whom she'd idolized, had loved that she couldn't cook. He took it as a badge of success. An immigrant who'd come to this country with four dollars in his pocket and made a living feeding other immigrant families, he'd been proud that his youngest daughter made money using her head, rather than her hands.

"Let's go," she said, not wanting to think about Papa.

Angie got out of the car and went around to the trunk. It opened silently, revealing a narrow cardboard box. Inside was an extravagantly rich chocolate cake made by the Pacific Dessert Company and a to-die-for lemon tart. She reached down for it, knowing some comment would be made about her inability to cook. As the youngest daughter-"the princess"-she'd been allowed to color or talk on the phone or watch TV while her sisters worked in the kitchen. None of her sisters ever let her forget that Papa had spoiled her mercilessly. As adults, her sisters still worked in the family restaurant. That was real real work, they always said, unlike Angie's career in advertising. work, they always said, unlike Angie's career in advertising.

"Come on," Conlan said, taking her arm.

They walked up the concrete walkway, past the fountain of the Virgin Mary, and up the steps. A statue of Christ stood by the door, his hands outstretched in greeting. Someone had hung an umbrella from his wrist.

Conlan knocked perfunctorily and opened the door.

The house rattled with noise-loud voices, kids running up and down the stairs, ice buckets being refilled, laughter. Every piece of furniture in the foyer was buried beneath a layer of coats and shoes and empty food boxes.

The family room was full of children playing games. Candy Land for the younger kids; crazy eights for the older. Her eldest nephew, Jason, and her niece Sarah were playing Nintendo on the television. At Angie's entrance, the kids squealed and flocked to her, all talking at once, vying for her attention. From their earliest memories, she was the aunt who would get down on the floor and play with whatever toy was "in" at the moment. She never turned down their music or said that a movie was unsuitable. When asked, they all said Aunt Angie was "way cool."

She heard Conlan behind her, talking to Mira's husband, Vince. A drink was being poured. She eased through the crowd of kids and walked down the hallway toward the kitchen.

In the doorway, she paused. Mama stood at the oversized butcher block in the center of the room, rolling out the sweet dough. Flour obscured half of her face and dusted her hair. Her eyegla.s.ses-a holdover from the seventies- had lenses the size of saucers and magnified her brown eyes. Tiny beads of sweat collected along her brow and slid down her floury cheeks, landing on her bosom in little blobs of dough. In the five months since Papa's pa.s.sing, she'd lost too much weight and stopped dyeing her hair. It was snow white now.

Mira stood at the stove, dropping gnocchi into a pot of boiling water. From behind, she looked like a girl. Even after bearing four children, she was still tiny, almost birdlike, and since she often wore her teenage daughter's clothes, she appeared ten years younger than her forty-one years. Tonight, her long black hair was held back in a braid that snaked almost to her waist. She wore a pair of low-rise, flare-legged black pants and a cable-knit red sweater. She was talking now-there was no surprise in that; she was always talking. Papa had always joked that his eldest daughter sounded like a blender on high speed.

Livvy was standing off to the left, slicing fresh mozzarella. She looked like a Bic pen in her black silk sheath. The only thing higher than her heels was the puffiness of her teased hair. Long ago, Livvy had left West End in a rush, certain that she could become a model. She'd stayed in Los Angeles until the sentence "Could you please undress now?" started to accompany every job interview. Five years ago, just after her thirty-fourth birthday, she'd come home, bitter at her lack of success, defeated by the effort, dragging with her two young sons who had been fathered by a man none of the family had ever seen or met. She'd gone to work at the family restaurant, but she didn't like it. She saw herself as a big-city girl trapped in a small town. Now she was married-again; it had been a quickie ceremony last week at the Chapel of Love in Las Vegas. Everyone hoped that Salvatore Traina-lucky choice number three-would finally make her happy.

Angie smiled. So much of her time had been spent in this kitchen with these three women; no matter how old she got or what direction her life took, this would always be home. In Mama's kitchen, you were safe and warm and well loved. Though she and her sisters had chosen different lives and tended to meddle too often in one another's choices, they were like strands of a single rope. When they came together, they were unbreakable. She needed to be a part of that again; she'd been grieving alone for too long.

She stepped into the kitchen and put the box down on the table. "Hey, guys."

Livvy and Mira surged forward, enfolded her in a hug that smelled of Italian spices and drugstore perfume. They held her tightly; Angie felt the wetness of tears on her neck, but nothing was said except "It's good to have you home."

"Thanks." She gave her sisters one last tight hug, then went to Mama, who opened her arms. Angie stepped into the warmth of that embrace. As always, Mama smelled of thyme, Tabu perfume, and Aqua Net hair spray. The scents of Angie's youth.

Mama hugged her so tightly that Angie had to draw in a gulp of air. Laughing, she tried to step back, but Mama held on.

Angie stiffened instinctively. The last time Mama had held Angie this tightly, Mama had whispered, You'll try You'll try again. G.o.d will give you another baby. again. G.o.d will give you another baby.

Angie pulled out of the embrace. "Don't," she said, trying to smile.

That did it-just that quietly voiced plea. Mama reached for the Parmesan grater and said, "Dinner's ready. Mira, get the kids to the table."

The dining room held fourteen people comfortably and fifteen tonight. An ancient mahogany table, brought here from the old country, held center stage in a big, windowless room papered in rose and burgundy. An ornate wooden crucifix hung on the wall beside a portrait of Jesus. Adults and children were crammed around the table. Dean Martin sang in the other room.

"Let us pray," Mama said as soon as everyone was seated. When silence didn't fall instantly, she reached over and thwopped Uncle Francis on the head.

Francis dropped his chin and closed his eyes. Everyone followed suit and began the prayer. Their voices joined as one: "Bless us, O Lord, and these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord. Amen."

When the prayer ended, Mama stood up quickly, raised her winegla.s.s. "We drink a toast now to Sal and Olivia." Her voice vibrated; her mouth trembled. "I do not know what to say. Toasting is a man's job." She abruptly sat down.

Mira touched Mama's shoulder and stood up. "We welcome Sal to our family. May you two find the kind of love that Mama and Papa had. May you have full cupboards and warm bedrooms and-" She paused. Her voice softened. "-many healthy babies."

Instead of laughter and clapping and clanking gla.s.ses, there was silence.

Angie drew a sharp breath and looked up at her sisters.

"I'm not pregnant," Livvy said quickly. "But . . . we're trying."

Angie managed to smile, although it was wobbly and weak and fooled no one. Everyone was looking at her, wondering how she would handle another baby in the family. They all tried so hard not to bruise her.

She raised her gla.s.s. "To Sal and Livvy." She spoke quickly, hoping her tears would pa.s.s for joy. "May you have many healthy babies."

Conversations started up again. The table became a frenzy of clanging forks and knives scratching on porcelain and laughter. Although this family gathered for every holiday and two Monday nights a month, they never ran out of things to say.

Angie glanced around the table. Mira was talking animatedly to Mama about a school fund-raiser that needed to be catered; Vince and Uncle Francis were arguing about last week's HuskiesDucks game; Sal and Livvy were kissing every now and then; the younger kids were spitting peas at one another; and the older ones were arguing about whether Xbox or PlayStation was better. Conlan was asking Aunt Giulia about her upcoming hip replacement surgery.

Angie couldn't concentrate on any of it. She certainly couldn't make idle conversation. Her sister wanted a baby, and so it would happen. Livvy would probably get pregnant between Leno and the news. Oops, I forgot my diaphragm. Oops, I forgot my diaphragm. That was how it happened for her sisters. That was how it happened for her sisters.

After dinner, as Angie washed the dishes, no one spoke to her, but everyone who walked past the sink squeezed her shoulder or kissed her cheek. Everyone knew there were no more words to say. Hopes and prayers had been offered so many times over the years they'd lost their sheen. Mama had kept a candle burning at St. Cecilia's for almost a decade now, and . . . still it would be Angie and Conlan alone in the car tonight, a couple who'd never multiplied into a family.

Finally, she couldn't stand it anymore. She tossed the dishrag on the table and went up to her old bedroom. The pretty little room, still wallpapered in roses and white baskets, held twin beds ruffled in pink bedding. She sat down on the end of her bed.

Ironically, she'd once knelt on this very floor and prayed not to be pregnant. She'd been seventeen at the time, dating Tommy Matucci. Her first love.

The door opened and Conlan walked in. Her big, black-haired Irishman husband looked ridiculously out of place in her little girl's room.

"I'm fine," she said.

"Yeah, right."

She heard the bitterness in his voice, felt stung by it. There was nothing she could do, though. He couldn't comfort her; G.o.d knew that had been proven often enough.

"You need help." He said it tiredly, and no wonder. The words were old.

"I'm fine."

He stared at her for a long time. The blue eyes that had once looked at her with adoration now held an almost unbearable defeat. With a sigh, he turned and left the room, closing the door behind him.

A few moments later it opened again. Mama stood in the doorway, her fists planted on her narrow hips. The shoulder pads on her Sunday dress were Blade Runner big and practically touched the door frame on either side. "You always did run to your room when you were sad. Or angry."

Angie scooted sideways to make room. "And you always came running up after me."

"Your father made me. You never knew that, did you?" Mama sat down beside Angie. The old mattress sagged beneath their weight. "He could not stand to see you cry. Poor Livvy could shriek her lungs out and he never noticed. But you . . . you were his princess. One tear could break his heart." She sighed. It was a heavy sound, full of disappointment and empathy. "You're thirty-eight years old, Angela," Mama said. "It's time to grow up. Your papa- G.o.d rest his soul-would have agreed with me on this."

"I don't even know what that means."

Mama slipped an arm around her, pulled her close. "G.o.d has given you an answer to your prayers, Angela. It is not the answer you wanted, so you don't hear. It's time to listen."

Angie woke with a start. The coolness on her cheeks was from tears.

She'd had the baby dream again; the one in which she and Conlan stood on opposite sh.o.r.es. Between them, on the s.h.i.+mmering expanse of blue sea, was a tiny pink-swaddled bundle. Inch by inch, it floated away and disappeared. When it was gone, they were left alone, she and Conlan, standing too far apart.

It was the same dream she'd been having for years, as she and her husband trudged from doctor's office to doctor's office, trying one procedure after another. Supposedly she was one of the lucky ones; in eight years, she'd conceived three children. Two had ended in miscarriage; one-her daughter, Sophia-had lived for only a few short days. That had been the end of it. Neither she nor Conlan had the heart to try again.

She eased away from her husband, grabbed her pink chenille robe off the floor, and left the bedroom.

The shadowy hallway waited for her. To her right, dozens of family photographs, all framed in thick mahogany, covered the wall. Portraits of five generations of DeSarias and Malones.

She looked down the long hallway at the last, closed door. The bra.s.s k.n.o.b glinted in moonlight from the nearby window.