Always In My Heart Part 1

Catherine Anderson.

Always In My Heart.

Chapter One.

Ellie Grant tugged her son Kody's basketball jersey from between the cream-colored sofa cus.h.i.+ons. The white knit was streaked with mud and covered with black dog hair, and the team name, TROJANS, in green lettering across the front was smeared with what appeared to be mustard. Scrunching the nylon in her fist, she almost lifted it to her nose-and then caught herself. What on earth was she doing? Granted, she missed her boys, but they'd be gone only until tomorrow night. She could survive another weekend without them, no s.h.i.+rt sniffing allowed. Turning, she stared at the television, which was usually on and blaring when the kids were home. Light from the adjoining dining room reflected off the dusty screen, highlighting the words, WASH ME. Ellie grinned in spite of herself. The brats. In the time it had taken one of them to scrawl that message, he could have polished the gla.s.s. Her smile slowly faded. The quiet inside the house seemed to echo against her eardrums. Most mothers would probably take advantage of the reprieve to read a good book or take a luxurious bubble bath, but Ellie just felt lost. For two weeks straight, she hadn't had a second to call her own. Now she suddenly had twenty-four hours of emptiness stretching before her. It was always this way when Tucker had the boys. She never knew quite what to do with the time. She stared at the dog hair on the mauve carpet and considered hauling out her old Kirby, but like a recovered alcoholic tempted by drink, she shoved the thought away. Instead, she stepped to the entertainment center and punched on the stereo. Zach, her fourteen-year-old, kept the CD player filled with his favorite country and western disks. Garth Brooks would chase away the silence and lift her spirits in short order. She cranked up the volume, grabbed the portable phone from the end table, and headed toward the kitchen. As she pa.s.sed through the dining room, the first strains of "Every Breath You Take" by The Police thrummed in the air. She stopped dead in her tracks. In July of her sixteenth year, that song had been blaring on the radio of Tucker's rattletrap Chevy when she lost her virginity. She hadn't listened to it since the divorce, and she knew Zach hadn't, either. He disdainfully called all songs from his parents' era "oldie moldies. " Ellie almost swung around to change the selection. But, no, she a.s.sured herself, it wasn't a problem. Two years ago, she might have fallen apart if she'd listened to that song, but she could handle it now. A stroll down memory lane might even be good for her, proof at long last that she was completely and forever over Tucker Grant. Continuing toward the kitchen, she let the music carry her back to that summer night nineteen years ago. The details came so clear in her mind that it might have happened yesterday. She could almost smell the breeze rolling in off the river, redolent with the perfume of wildflowers and the scent of pine. She and Tucker had climbed into the back, where they could stretch out on the seat without the steering wheel and gears.h.i.+ft getting in their way. Heads bent, hands shaking with nerves, they'd shyly undressed, neither of them completely sure how to proceed once they got naked. Finally, Tucker had simply taken her in his arms. Don't be scared, Ellie girl, he'd whispered. Ill love you forever-until the rivers stop flowing and the ocean goes dry. Snapped back to the present by the coldness of the worn kitchen linoleum under her bare feet, Ellie sighed and shook her head. Talk about a sappy line. She was surprised she hadn't giggled. Back then, of course, it had seemed terribly romantic, just the sort of thing a young girl yearned to hear. She s.h.i.+fted her gaze to the stack of bills on the breakfast bar, a fair third of which were due. Then she stared at the broken faucet, which she couldn't afford to replace until well after Christmas. Since there was no sign of Tucker Grant in this charming picture, the rivers must have stopped flowing and the oceans gone dry. Or maybe Tucker was just lousy at keeping promises. Ah, well-who needed him? Judging by things the boys had told her, he hadn't changed a bit. After ten years with the state, he was still a field biologist, turning down promotions because he didn't want a desk job. At the top of the pay scale for that position, he received occasional cost-of-living raises, but that was it. She, on the other hand, was the big kahuna at the House of Interior Design, and she'd gotten two salary increases in the eleven months since she'd been hired. In short, she was on her way up, and he was dead in the water. Though she'd never been inside his new house, the boys had given her a sketchy description. Instead of investing his half of their marital-home equity into a solidly built older place that could have been renovated, he'd bought on the cheap in a modest housing development with cookie-cutter floor plans and lots the size of postage stamps. No big surprise. The only time in Tucker's life that he'd ever shown good taste was when he married her. Determined not to think about him for a second longer, Ellie advanced across the floor. Halloween was only a month away. She would put this time to good use, making sugar cookies for her sons-great big round ones decorated to look like jack-o'-lanterns. In the morning, she'd go up to the attic and dig out the Halloween decorations. By tomorrow night, the house would be cheery and bright with pumpkins and witches hanging at the windows, and she'd welcome the boys at the door with a big smile and a plate of treats. They'd love that. As she drew the old green mixing bowl from a cupboard, Ellie thought of her mother, who'd once mixed cookies in this bowl before it had been pa.s.sed down to her only child. As a little girl, Ellie had stood on a stool, watching the mixing process in fascination and snitching morsels of dough whenever her mom turned her head. Years later, Ellie's sons, Sammy, Zach, and Kody, had followed the same tradition, forcing her to make double batches every time she baked so she'd have something left to put in the oven. Images flashed through her mind of those holiday baking sprees when her boys had been much younger, their faces smeared with icing, their pudgy fingers gooey and coated with multicolored sprinkles. The kitchen had fared no better than their faces, and afterward she always felt compelled to scrub the floor on her hands and knees. Looking back on it now, Ellie wished with all her heart that she'd let the floor go and just enjoyed having milk and cookies with her sons. But, no, before Sammy's death and the ensuing divorce, her priorities had been seriously skewed. She'd been caught up in the supermom syndrome back then, convinced she had to be a perfect wife, mother, and home-maker, all while she pursued a career. She'd had no time to sit around on a winter afternoon, eating cookies with her precious boys. It had taken a tragedy to make her realize that nothing was more important than her kids. Nothing. These days, if it came to a choice between devoting time to her sons or scrubbing the floor, the floor lost every time. When the boys were grown, they wouldn't remember how clean her kitchen had been, but they'd have fond memories of this holiday season and the goodies she'd baked for them. Ellie stopped the sink and squeezed in dish soap. While the water ran, she lighted the candle on the windowsill that Kody had given her for Mother's Day, a misshapen lump of yellow wax he'd poured for her at school. He'd used one of Bucky's empty dog food cans as a mold, and the rings in the aluminum had left telltale lines. Every time she looked at it, she smiled. Beyond the windowpane, the drizzly gray of afternoon had given way to the deeper shades of early evening. Still leafy from summer, hydrangea, lilac, and camellia bushes crowded the weathered board fence, creating a dense jungle of rain-drenched foliage that needed to be pruned. Lending some bright relief from all the green, splashes of autumn-orange decorated the drooping maple trees. Soon the gra.s.s would be hidden beneath a carpet of fallen leaves that would crunch underfoot. The wavering candlelight washed the gla.s.s with patterns of gold. As the flame licked its way down the wick, the sweet smell of vanilla wafted to Ellie's nostrils, reminding her of the task at hand. She turned off the faucet and spun from the sink. Studiously ignoring the range top, which got washed only when one of the boys decided to give it a few swipes, she climbed on the stepstool to get salt and vanilla from the spice cupboard above it. As she hopped down, she kept her gaze averted from the stove's crusty burner plates. A vow was a vow. No matter how filthy they got, she would never scrub them, so why drive herself crazy noticing the buildup? Singing along with Bonnie Tyler, she belted out the refrain of "Total Eclipse of the Heart" as she measured ingredients. She was about to soften some b.u.t.ter in the microwave when the portable phone on the counter rang. She jumped and then stared at it; it was probably Marvin calling. Great She had grown very fond of him over the last few months, and most of the time, she was glad of his company, but she didn't want to have him over when the boys weren't home. Whenever she was alone with him, he grew amorous, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to fend him off. Ellie wasn't ready for intimacy. She couldn't say why, exactly. Marvin was more than ten years her senior, and at forty-six, he wasn't a bad-looking guy. A tad overweight, maybe, and starting to go bald, but things like that didn't matter to her anymore. She'd had a deliciously handsome man once, and just look where that had gotten her. Marvin was decent and kind and dependable. That mattered far more to her than looks. Given their mutual careers in interior design, they also had a lot in common. All the makings were there for a fabulous relations.h.i.+p. It was just, well-she didn't know what the problem was, really. When he kissed her, no matter how hard she tried to get into it, she found herself thinking about stupid stuff, like what she needed to pick up at the market on her way home from work the next night. Not good. After dating Marvin for nearly six months, off and on, Ellie knew he had every right to be feeling impatient with her. Soon, she kept telling him. She just needed a little more time. Taking the relations.h.i.+p to a more serious level was a big step for her. What to do, what to do? The phone jangled again, urgent and demanding. She considered not answering. But what if it wasn't Marvin? It was always possible that one of the boys might call.

On the fourth ring, she groaned and wiped her hands, trying to fabricate a believable excuse not to invite him over even as she grabbed the phone and pressed the TALK b.u.t.ton. Menstrual cramps,she decided with an evil grin. Not very original, but it was a surefire way to cool his jets."h.e.l.lo, " she said, doing her best to sound miserable."Ellie?"She would have recognized that deep, silky tenor anywhere. Tucker. Her hand tightened over thephone as an image of him took shape in her mind. Tawny hair, hazel eyes sharp with intelligence,and sun-burnished features, every chiseled plane of which had once been engraved on her heart.Just thinking about him filled her with resentment.She pictured him in a suns.h.i.+ne-yellow kitchen with fake butcher-block counters. He'd be leaningagainst a wall, she decided, his booted feet crossed at the ankles, his rangy, well-muscled bodyshowcased in a wash-worn flannel work s.h.i.+rt and faded denim jeans that hugged his long,powerful legs like a second skin."Hi, " she said stiffly. He seldom called, so she had to grope for more to say. She opted for a noteof humor. "If you're about to tell me the state has screwed up the child support again, I'll jump offa tall building. I just dropped a hundred and sixty bucks on football cleats and basketball shoes. "She hoped he would offer to kick in a little extra this month to cover the expense just so she couldturn him down. He'd argued against her moving to Springfield, predicting that the cost of livingwouldbe much higher in the Eugene area and she would come to regret the decision. In your face, shewanted to say. I'm doing just fine over here. I love my job. I just got a raise. I have a fabulousnew boyfriend. I don't need your help, thanks very much.

Instead of offering her money, he said, "No, it's nothing like that, Ellie. "His tone was taut and oddly neutral. After being married to him for thirteen years, she knew whenhe was upset. Alarm raised goose b.u.mps on her skin. "What's wrong?""I don't know how to say this. "Oh, G.o.d! Memories sped through her mind, all splashed with crimson. Her vocal cords felt likeoverstretched rubber as she struggled to speak. "What happened?" She braced a hand on thecounter, feeling as if her knees might buckle. "It's one of the boys, isn't it? Who's hurt? Tucker,answer me. ""No, no, it's nothing like that. As far as I know, they're both all right. ""As far as you know?" Her heart was pounding so hard that it pained her. She pressed a fist overthe spot. "Something's wrong. I hear it in your voice. ""They've taken off. "For a moment, the words circled in her mind, making no sense. "What do you mean, they'vetaken off?""Exactly what I said. I just got home, and the little snots are gone. "She stared stupidly at the roses on the faded hunter-green wallpaper. "Gone? This is your week-end. You're supposed to be watching them. ""I worked today. "

"So? I have a job, too. Have I ever called to tell you the kids were gone?""That isn't fair. Zach's fourteen, for Pete's sake, and Mrs. Robinson next door is always availablein case of emergency. You leave them alone on Sat.u.r.day all the time while you're working. ""I also call to check on them. If they don't answer the phone, I hightail it home to see what'swrong. ""I was way out past Wickiup Reservoir, overseeing a team of stream surveyors. I tried to callhome on my cell phone and couldn't get out. "Ellie knew the cell phone reception wasn't as good in central Oregon as it was in the valley. Therewere fewer towers over there, and the mountainous terrain sometimes interfered with the signals.Knowing that and admitting it were two different things. She wasn't obligated to give TuckerGrant a fair shake. When the shoe had been on the other foot, had he been fair to her?She pushed a shank of blond hair from her eyes. She was shaking so hard that the strandss.h.i.+vered back down over her forehead the instant she withdrew her hand. "Where do you thinkthey went?"His voice turned gravelly. "According to the note they left, they're somewhere in the BaxterWilderness Area. "Ellie knew the place. While they were still married, they'd taken the boys camping there severaltimes each summer. ''Somewhere in the area? I'm not following. That's a long way from Bend.How did they get there?""I think they rode their bicycles. " He paused as if the next words came hard. "Ellie, they've runaway. "

"They've what?"She heard a rustle of paper come over the line. "The note is in Zach's handwriting, butKody signed it, as well. "Iridescent hues of blue and pink s.h.i.+mmered in the froth of dishwater suds. The scent ofvanilla from the candle suddenly made her nauseated."Ellie, are you still there?"She nodded and then realized he couldn't see her. "Yes. I'm here. I'm, uh, just trying toa.s.similate this. Are you sure they've run away, Tucker? Maybe they just got bored whileyou were gone and-""No. I wish that were the case, but it isn't. They've definitely run away. ""Why? Did something happen to upset them?""Nothing that I'm aware of. "This was so unlike her sons, she knew there had to be an explanation. Suspicion slammedinto her brain. "Have you been letting your friend Liz stay the night when they're there?"Even over the phone, she felt him bristle at the question. "That is so typical. Why is it thatyou always have to a.s.sign blame?"He was a fine one to talk. He'd held her responsible for Sammy's accident and walked outon her during the most difficult time of her life. "Just answer the question. Has she beenspending the night there?""The particulars of my s.e.x life are none of your d.a.m.ned business. ""They quickly become my business when you play fast and loose in front of my children. ""May I remind you that they're my children, too?

Fast and loose? You know better than that. Not around my kids. "Ellie closed her eyes. He was right; deep down, she did know better. "H-how long do you thinkthey've been gone?""My guess is that they left shortly after I did this morning. All that's in the dishwasher are twocereal bowls. I don't think they had lunch here. It would also take them quite a while to reachBaxter on bicycles. At least five or six hours, depending on how often they stopped to rest. Theyhad to leave here fairly early to get there before dark. "Panic clawed at the edges of her mind. She held it at bay by trying to concentrate on absolutesinstead of possibilities. "Did they take camping gear?""Yes. All that's left in the garage is mine. "She pictured her boys pedaling along the shoulder of that busy road, and her self-control tookanother hard hit. She caught the inside of her cheek between her teeth."Ellie, don't, " he said softly, as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. "They've done this.e.xpressly to scare the bejesus out of us. ""And they've succeeded. Highway 97 is the most dangerous road in Oregon. ""Ah, now, it's not that bad. "Ellie remembered another time when he'd pooh-poohed her concerns, and she'd ended upstanding over her child's grave. "I've warned them a hundred times not to ride their bikes in heavytraffic. " Pain bunched in her temples. Sammy. She couldn't help remembering the day he died-how the pavement had turned black with his blood."I'm sure they're both fine. If anything happened, someone would contact me. ""They don't carry ID. ""No, but the bicycles are licensed. The cops could easily trace them back to me. They're fine,Ellie. We need to keep our heads. "That was true. Panic would accomplish nothing. She took a deep breath. "Right. " Kody's faceflashed through her mind, and she wished she'd never let him out of her sight. "We'd-um-better call someone. We need to find them as quickly as we can. ""I can find them, Ellie. You know that. "She made a small sound of agreement. Tucker's reputation as a tracker was well known inDeschutes County. Search-and-rescue teams frequently called upon him to help locate lost hikers."I'll gather my gear and head up there as soon as we get off the phone, " he said. "By first light,I'll be on their trail. Riding bicycles, they weren't able to take the dog with them. Bucky can helpsniff them out. They'll be fine for the night. ""In a wilderness area?""They have warm sleeping bags, and they ransacked my cupboards and fridge, so they shouldn'tgo hungry. Even if they run low on food, they both know how to catch fish with whatever theyhave on hand, and I've taught them d.a.m.ned near everything I know about the edible plant life inthat area. ""There are cougars and bears out there, Tucker. They're just little boys. ""Not so little anymore. Zach's fourteen, and Kody's eleven. I know grown men with less wilder-ness savvy. No worries, Ellie, I promise. "

"We still need to find them as fast as we can. " She shoved rigid fingers into her hair. "No offenseto your tracking skills, but the best way to do that is to call in help. ""I'd rather try to find them myself first. ""Yes, well... my vote carries half the weight. "He sighed. "Ellie, think. I know you're scared, but let's not go off half-c.o.c.ked. The boys have runaway. Do you know what may happen if the authorities get wind of it? Kids don't do things likethis without a reason. If a bunch of do-gooders start digging for dirt, we could end up with a h.e.l.lof a mess on our hands. Our sons could become temporary wards of the court until it all getsstraightened out. ""That's absurd. They aren't going to make our kids wards of the court. We're perfectly goodparents. ""Are we?" A humorless huff of laughter came over the line. "Excuse me, but I'm holding a note inmy hand that says we've done a p.i.s.s-poor job somewhere along the way. If you think children'sservices won't investigate us, you're dreaming. "Ellie gripped the phone with both hands. "Better that than one of them getting hurt. ""I'll find them, I said. Name me a better man for the job, d.a.m.n it. "He had a point. And he was probably right about children's services, as well. When kids ranaway, it raised a red flag, and the authorities might suspect the worst. "I can't believe they've donesomething so harebrained. ""Yeah, well, they have. As for finding them quickly, I'll have them home tomorrow night,guaranteed. " He released another weary sigh. "You know, Ellie, gettingthem back isn't my primary worry. We have to figure out what the h.e.l.l we're going to do once weget them home. ""Shaking them silly sounds highly appealing at the moment. " She stared at the half-mixed cookiedough, remembering all her grand plans for a cheery welcome-home party. How many kids gothomemade cookies, just because? She lived with ring around the toilet, dirty grout, and dustbunnies under her furniture, and this was the thanks she got? "I can't believe they've done this.What earthly reason do they have? It's not as if we abuse them or anything. "She heard the rustle of paper again. "They've made a couple of demands. ""What kind of demands?"He hesitated before answering. "They refuse to come home until we agree to get back togetherand go to counseling. ""What?""You heard me. They want us back together again, no discussion, no bargains. It's that or nothing.They've made it very clear they won't settle for less. "In the background, Kim Carnes belted out the lyrics of "Bette Davis Eyes. " Now Ellieunderstood why Zach had put that particular CD in the player. He knew she usually turned on thestereo while they were gone, and he'd been hoping to soften her up with old favorites from herand Tucker's dating days. How long had he and Kody been planning this, anyway?Ellie's blood pressure went up several points. Candle wax was about to drip on the windowsill.She leaned over to blow out the flame with an angry expulsion of breath. "It isn't as if we arbitrarily decided to get a divorce. " "I understand that, and you understand that. But do our boys?" The question hung there, stark and razor sharp, between them. "They're miserable, Ellie. They have to be. Happy kids don't run away. " Her kids were not miserable. She devoted every spare moment to making them happy. She couldn't remember the last time she'd taken a bubble bath, and she hadn't shaved her legs in over two weeks. She'd even started cutting her own hair, using the money she would have spent at a salon to buy Nike running shoes and name-brand jeans. How could they possibly be miserable? Dimly she realized that Tucker was still talking. "You know how far it is from Bend to Baxter, most of it uphill, " he said. "They pedaled every inch of the way. Kids don't put themselves through an ordeal like that without good reason. Whether this makes sense to us or not-whether we understand it or not-this is very important to them. " Her throat felt raw, and her voice had gone raspy when she spoke again. "What are we going to do?" "I have no idea. Maybe-" He broke off without finis.h.i.+ng the thought. "Maybe, what?" she pressed. "I don't know. Coming home to find them gone and then reading this note, I've just been thinking that-" He broke off again and cursed under his breath. "Did we do the right thing? Maybe getting a divorce wasn't best for our kids. " The hair at her nape p.r.i.c.kled. "What are you saying?" "That maybe we screwed up. " We? It was all she could do not to scream the word at him. He'd left her, not the other way around. Just packed his stuff and walked out. She could still remember the deafening report of the door slamming shut behind him. She had almost run after him, would have gotten on her knees and begged him to stay if she'd thought it might change his mind. Now he wanted her to share the blame for their divorce? "We obviously have two very disillusioned kids on our hands, " he continued. The paper rustled again, and she envisioned him crumpling the note. "They've run away, for G.o.d's sake. Maybe we should stop thinking about ourselves and start thinking about them for a change. " Ellie's heart squeezed, and the word she'd tried to swallow back blurted from her lips. "We? Excuse me, but the way I remember it, you were the one who left, Tucker. " She'd also gotten it straight from their elder son that he'd been the first to start dating other people after the divorce. "Like there was anything to hold me?" he shot back. "You're d.a.m.ned right, I walked out. " There had been a time when hearing him say that would have broken her heart, but now she felt nothing but anger. What would he say, she wondered a little wildly, if she told him the whole truth? He would really despise her then. "What's changed?" she fired back. "Have I missed something?" "Nothing's changed, obviously. " His voice vibrated with frustration. "Here we are, three years later, and it's still the same old bulls.h.i.+t. " "And it's still all my fault. Amazing. "

"Well, it sure as h.e.l.l wasn't mine. ""Nothing ever is. "He swore under his breath."No need to whisper. You're taking the Lord's name in vain, either way. ""Do you work at being impossible, or does it just come naturally?""I work at it, of course. It's so rewarding when I'm dealing with you. "Silence. Ellie couldn't remember what they'd been talking about. "Where were we?""I was trying to point out that how we feel about each other isn't the issue. Not when our kids laysomething like this on us. ""Ah, yes. And I was pointing out that you're three years late in reaching that conclusion. Thanks,but no thanks. I think how we feel matters a lot. What are you suggesting, that we live in miseryfor the rest of our lives just to make our kids happy?""As I recall, I was the one who was miserable. ""It was no picnic for me, either. " Ellie remembered how he'd turned his back on her, night afternight. Nothing on earth could induce her to go through that again. "I love my boys, and I'd doanything for them. You know that. But I honestly don't see how we could ever live togetheragain. ""Forget I offered. "That went without saying. He'd used up all his chances with her. They had nothing left betweenthem now but memories, and even those brought more pain than joy."I'm sorry, Tucker, " she said wearily. "If I thought for a moment we might make it work, I'dagree for the boys' sake, but I just don't-""Forget I suggested it, all right?" He bit out the words. "As we both very well know, sorry doesn'tfix much, does it?"She held tighter to the phone. That sentiment of his had destroyed their marriage. The irony of itwas, he hadn't known the half of it, and he still hadn't been able to forgive her. Buried pain knifedto the surface. She swallowed hard, stared at the faucet, listened to the plip-plop of the drips. Asfar as she was concerned, he could go to h.e.l.l on greased runners."Well... " He cleared his throat. "I guess there's no point in p.i.s.sing up that rope. Right now, we'vegot more pressing concerns, namely two mixed-up kids. Once I find them, we'll have plenty oftime to discuss what, if anything, we should do to prevent this from happening again. "Ellie thought of her boys, out there alone in the dark. Were they cold? Hungry? Afraid? Theywere all she had left.Reaching a snap decision, she pushed away from the sink and turned toward the breakfast bar."Where do you plan to camp tonight?" She grabbed a notepad and pencil. "I'll drive up and meetyou. ""You don't need to be there, Ellie. ""Yes, Tucker, I do. ""Look, no offense, all right? But how long has it been since you went hiking in rough terrain?""A while. ""As in three years?"Ellie bristled. "What's your point?""I think it goes without saying. ""Just tell me how to find the camp, Tucker. This isn't up for discussion. ""Come on. " Irritation put an edge in his voice.

"You know you're out of shape. You wouldn't last an hour out on the trail. You'll only slow medown. ""If the shoe were on the other foot, would you sit at home?""For once in your life, be reasonable. ""I'm being perfectly reasonable. They're my children. I can't sit here, doing nothing, when I knowthey're out there, upset, alone, and possibly lost. "His tone turned cajoling. "I'll take my cell phone along. How's that? You'll know something themoment I do. ""Why are you so reluctant to have me tag along?" She arched an eyebrow. "Oh, I get it. Yourlittle friend Liz is going, isn't she?""What's it to you?" he snapped back."Nothing except that I'll be d.a.m.ned. They're my kids, not hers. If anyone's going to help searchfor them, it's going to be me. ""Ellie, you get turned around the minute you leave the road. ""And she doesn't, is that it?""I didn't say that. Look, let's back up and-""No, you look. I'm going, end of discussion. Just give me directions to camp. "

Chapter Two.

Tucker ran a thumb up the bridge of his nose to rub the throbbing spot between his brows. He was getting a b.i.t.c.h of a headache. No small wonder. Just the thought of spending time with Ellie again had him grinding his teeth. For all the reasons he'd just cited to her on the phone and several more he preferred not to think about, he didn't want her to join him. He blinked to clear his vision. Shopping bags still sat on the counter. After finding the note from his boys, he hadn't bothered to put the groceries away. He'd planned to make a vegetarian stew for supper with fresh fruit compotes topped with fat-free yogurt for dessert. Given his druthers, he would have preferred a giant meat-lover's pizza with extra cheese, but what kind of a father taught his kids to eat like that? Now, despite all his efforts to be a good parent, his sons had run away on his watch. Why couldn't they have taken off while their mother had them? Ellie, bless her vindictive little heart, would never let him live this down.

Filled with a sense of urgency he couldn't shake, Tucker left the groceries sitting there and went out to the garage. As he grabbed his backpack off the shelf, his gaze landed on the small ca.s.sette player he'd once carried on wilderness hikes so his wife could listen to music at night. Next to the electronic device were some dusty plastic containers for fresh eggs and bread, two other luxuries she had been unwilling to do without even on camping trips. His life was a lot simpler now, he thought fiercely. The only reason he'd offered to go back to her had been because of the kids. Like he wanted the old ball and chain around his neck again? The single life agreed with him. When a buddy called and invited him to go fis.h.i.+ng, he could be ready in thirty minutes-no fuss, no muss. He liked the spontaneity of that. He also enjoyed being able to spend his money any d.a.m.ned way he pleased. Granted, by the time he made his mortgage and child support payments, there wasn't much left over, but it was his. If he wanted to buy the boys something special, there was no one to say he shouldn't. The same went for a half rack of beer. Being a bachelor was great. The only drawback was doing his own laundry, and even that wasn't so bad. Pink socks were starting to grow on him. Jerking his pack off the shelf, he checked the contents to be sure Zach and Kody hadn't removed anything important. He always kept his gear in perfect order just in case he got an emergency call. In central Oregon, it wasn't uncommon for hikers or crosscountry skiers to lose their way, and he never knew when his services as a tracker might be needed. Somehow, he just hadn't expected the next emergency to involve his own kids. Even after rereading their note several times, he couldn't believe they had done something so stupid. As a general rule, Tucker didn't resort to corporal punishment, but he had a good mind to do so this time. As a field biologist for the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife, he knew better than most people how dangerous a wilderness area could be. His only consolation was that his boys were well trained, which greatly reduced their chances of getting lost or injured. Tucker had just finished checking his pack when he heard the faint peal of the doorbell. Frowning, he stepped to the door that opened onto a covered breezeway at the front of his rambler. Because the porch was recessed, he couldn't see who was there. "Yo!" he yelled. "I'm out here. " Liz Brighton, a new field biologist at ODF&W, peeked around the corner. Her long, curly red hair flared like a torch in the dim glow of the porch light. "I wondered why you didn't answer my knock. " They had been dating occasionally for a couple of months, but only in the most casual of ways, so he was surprised to see her on his doorstep. "Hey, Liz. What're you doing on this side of town?" She shrugged as she moved along the walkway toward him. "I was just out driving around and gravitated this way. " Informally attired in snug blue jeans and a tight green sweater that enhanced far more than her emerald eyes, she looked good enough to eat-a tall, long-legged beauty with generous b.r.e.a.s.t.s and an incredi- bly small waist. A guy would have to be blind and half-dead not to find her appealing.Tucker had excellent vision, and he was a long way from dead. Unfortunately, a little voice at theback of his mind kept warning him to be cautious. Liz said she planned to stay focused on hercareer for the next few years, that a serious relations.h.i.+p was out of the question for her right now.In the interim, she only wanted to have a good time with a man she liked and respected. Nostrings, she promised, and no hard feelings when it was over.On the surface, that sounded like a mighty fine arrangement. Only there was something in Liz'seyes, an eager intensity that made Tucker edgy. He couldn't shake the feeling that she might belooking for far more in a relations.h.i.+p than he was willing to give. He didn't need any morecomplications in his life right now, especially not ones that involved a female subordinate fromthe department. With two kids to support, his job was a top priority, and nothing-absolutelynothing-could be allowed to jeopardize it.As Liz drew up in front of him, she flashed a s.e.xy smile that made him wonder if he needed hishead examined. "I got lonesome to see you. I, um, thought I might watch a movie with you andthe boys. Do you mind?"Tucker thrust a hand through his hair. "I wish I could say yes, Liz, but my boys aren't here. ""I thought you had them for the weekend. ""I did. Rather, I do. They took off while I was at work. ""Where to?""The Baxter Wilderness Area. " The next words came hard. "They've run away. "Her eyes widened. "They've what?""You heard me. " Eager to be on his way, Tucker retreated into the garage. "I'm packing rightnow to go find them. "She pushed through the doorway after him. "Baxter? Oh, Tucker, they could get hurt up there. "He showed her his back as he bent to retrieve his pack. "Hopefully, I'll find them before anythinghappens. ""How long have they been gone?""I think they took off shortly after I left for work this morning. ""On foot?""No, they rode their bicycles. I'm heading up now so I can hit their trail at first light. ""Those crazy kids. What on earth possessed them?""That's the way of it with boys that age. Sometimes they have the collective IQ of a gnat. " Heslung the straps of his pack over one shoulder. Turning to meet her gaze, he said, "I'm sorry, Liz.I'll give you a call when I get back to town, all right?"She rested her hands at her hips, her expression thoughtful. "What part of Baxter are you going tosearch first?""I'm a.s.suming they entered at the north end where we usually camp. They're familiar with thatarea, and it's closest from here. I'm taking Bucky along to help sniff them out. With his nose togive me an edge, I'll have them home before the sun goes down tomorrow. "

She narrowed a lovely green eye. "I'd be a much better search partner than that silly dog. " Tucker held up a staying hand. "I appreciate the offer, Liz. Really I do. But that's not a good idea. " "Why not?" "My ex is driving up to meet me. " "Oh. I see. " The expression in her eyes said she didn't see at all. "Well, then. " She lifted her shoulders in a shrug. "Ha. " "It's nothing like that. " He sighed, trying to think how he might best explain. "It's over between me and Ellie. Honestly. It's just that things could get sticky if-" He broke off, the thought suddenly occurring to him that Liz's offer might be a blessing in disguise. Being alone with Ellie out in the middle of nowhere wasn't high on his list. "What am I saying? Here you are, a wilderness expert, offering to help find my kids, and I'm turning you down?" Her expression brightened. "I'd love to help. " "Are you sure? It really would be great if you could come along. " "Consider it done. " She glanced at her watch. "Can you give me thirty minutes? It'll take me that long to run home and grab my gear. " Tucker needed to hurry, but he guessed a few minutes, one way or the other, wouldn't make that much difference. He couldn't pick up the boys' trail until daylight, anyway. "Thirty minutes, " he agreed. "Try not to be any longer, though, all right? I imagine Ellie is already driving over, and it's only a three-hour trip. If I don't have a fire going to guide her in, she'll drive past the spot and get lost. " "You're kidding, right?" "Unfortunately, no. " "Surely she's not so inept at finding her way as all that" Tucker frowned slightly. "Inept. Now there's a word. " By the time Ellie reached the Baxter Wilderness Area, she was heartily glad that Marvin had ap-peared unexpectedly on her doorstep before she left and had agreed to come with her. It was so horribly dark up there in the woods, with tall pines crowding the shoulders of the highway. The only moonlight that peeked through the trees was directly along the road, a thin stream of faint luminescence that limned the asphalt, making it look like an ever-narrowing, ethereal blue ribbon that curled into the yawning blackness ahead of them. "I'm so glad you stopped by tonight, Marvin. " Taking her gaze off the road for a moment, Ellie glanced across the car at him. "Thank you so much for coming with me. " He ran a finger under the knot of his tie, then rolled his shoulders and stretched his neck. "You've thanked me at least a dozen times. " He grinned. "I'm just sorry about the Chinese food. If I'd known we would eat in the car, I'd have gotten something easier for you to manage while you were driving. Sweet and sour over rice doesn't make for great finger food. " "I wolfed down enough tempura to do me. " Nerves had Ellie's stomach churning, and she hadn't really felt like eating. "And stop trying to change the subject. When someone drops everything like you did to go traipsing off into the wilderness with me, I can say thank you a dozen times if I like. You're a good friend, one of the best. I just can't tell you how much I appreciate your willingness to help me out. " "Hey, I haven't been camping in eons. I'm looking forward to it. Honestly. " Ellie worried the inside of her cheek. He'd had to borrow camping equipment from his brother-in-law, and she could only hope he'd brought along everything he would need. "It won't be your usual outdoor experience. No outing with Tucker ever is. Imagine one of those survival camps where they put people through h.e.l.l, teaching them how to live off the land, and you'll pretty much have the right picture. " "I'll survive. Surely you don't think I'd let my best girl drive up here alone?" His best girl? Ellie's hands tightened over the steering wheel. She liked Marvin. She really liked him a lot. But lately he'd been making noises that made her nervous. With two sons to complicate the situation, she needed to take this relations.h.i.+p business just a little more slowly than he seemed willing to go. She had tried to explain that to him, but apparently she hadn't put it in terms he could understand. "I hope I didn't come off like a big chicken back at the house. " "Bluck, bluck, bluck. " Tucking his fists in his armpits, he flapped his elbows, doing a comical rendition of a clucking hen. Ellie rolled her eyes and sighed. "Okay, so I came off like a big chicken. I don't usually mind traveling by myself. Honestly. It's only in remote areas like this, with forestland stretching forever in all directions, that my confidence feels a little shaky. I don't know what I'd do if a tire went flat or the car broke down. " "You'd do exactly what I would, call Triple A. " "Oh, that's a comfort" He winked at her. "Do I look like a mechanic?" Dressed in a Ralph Lauren s.h.i.+rt and neatly creased dress slacks, with takeout cartons littering the floorboard at his feet, he looked to be exactly what he was: a slightly plump, middle-aged guy who'd been a salesman most of his life. Marvin hadn't gone back to college to study interior design until after his divorce. Before that, he'd worked for twenty years at Sears in the drapery and household section. In that moment, it struck Ellie what a grand gesture this was for him to make. He wasn't the rough-and-rugged type, yet he had agreed to accompany her without any hesitation. That meant more to her than she could say. "If we have to call road service, " she said, "it'll be just my luck the cell phone won't work. In mountainous areas like this, the signal can get blocked. " "Bite your tongue. I've happily avoided the macho ritual of changing flat tires for almost fifty years. " "You mean you don't know how?" "I've got a basic idea. Never had a flat but once, and that in town. I pulled over and walked to a garage one block over. Got it fixed in twenty minutes. " "That's one of the things I like best about you, Marvin-no baloney. Most guys would pretend they could change a tire with one hand tied behind their backs. "

"The instant I lied, we'd get a flat, sure as it rains little green frogs. "Ellie smiled in spite of herself. "In a pinch, I think I can change a tire. " Weary of the oppressivedarkness, she leaned forward to adjust the dash lights. The heightened green glow bathedMarvin's round face, making his skin look chartreuse. "Years ago, Tucker showed me how. Thelug nuts might be a problem. As I recall, even he strained to get them off sometimes. "Marvin made a show of flexing a bicep. "I can loosen a few lug nuts. " He waggled his eyebrows."I'm not totally useless. ""I never said you were. " Ellie was so worried about her boys that she didn't feel much likesmiling, but his teasing coaxed another grin from her. "Let's just keep our fingers crossed thatnothing goes wrong. " She fixed her attention on the road as she took a sharp turn. "Walking backdown this mountain in the dark doesn't sound very appealing. ""Hoo-ooo-oo, " he said softly, doing a fair rendition of a ghost."I'm not afraid of the dark, " she hastened to explain. "Not very, anyway. I'm just cursed with anabysmally poor sense of direction. We've made several turns. I'm not sure I can find my way outof here. ""Never fear. I come equipped with t.e.s.t.i.c.l.es. "She shot him a bewildered look. "What?""Practically all men have a great sense of direction, and most women don't. I've always attributedit to anatomical differences. ""Ah. Is that why Moses wandered in the desert for forty years?"He chuckled. "You've got me there. " Drawing a fortune cookie from a sack, he added,"Considering you were married to Rambo for so long, I'd think you'd be perfectly at home uphere. Didn't he teach you how to get your bearings?"Ellie smirked at the disparaging nickname. Rambo. She had to remember that one. "He tried. Iwasn't a very apt pupil. I can determine east and west by the position of the sun easily enough, butI tend to let my mind wander while I'm walking. If you aren't sure which direction you've beengoing, it's a little hard to double back. ""True, " he agreed with an indulgent smile."I'll also remind you that in this day of satellites, it isn't easy to locate Polaris at night. I finallygave up and just followed Tucker everywhere. In short, all the Rambo stuff never rubbed off onme. I developed a halfhearted appreciation for the great outdoors, but that was about it. ""You didn't get into the stick-rubbing stuff, then?""Definitely not. Tucker carries a small square of magnesium. Supposedly, it'll burn even underwater. You sc.r.a.pe off shavings over the kindling and light it with a flint. ""That should simplify building a fire. ""As simple as one, two, three. ""What's so impressive about that?""I never said it was impressive. "Loud crackling sounds filled the car as he chewed the fortune cookie. "Sometimes I get thefeeling you're still pretty d.a.m.ned impressed. ""Not even. ""You're not still hung up on him?""On Tucker? Give me a break. We can't even talk on the phone without taking shots at each other. That's the main reason I asked you to come, so Iwouldn't have to be alone with him. ""I know. That's what worries me. "Ellie frowned. "I'm not following. ""You aren't exactly the fainthearted type who avoids confrontation at any cost. Why are you soreluctant to be alone with him?""Because I find the prospect nauseating?"After peering at her through the gloom for an interminably long moment, he asked, "Deep down,are you afraid of what may happen?"She rolled her eyes. "As in, afraid I may murder him, you mean?""Why all the anger?""Can we change the subject?" Ellie flipped on the turn signal, realized there was no need, andshoved it back to the off position. "I really don't want to talk about him. ""Fine. It's not a particularly pleasant subject for me, either. I care about you, Ellie. It doesn't makeme happy to think you may still be carrying a torch for the b.a.s.t.a.r.d. ""Don't worry about it. I just don't want to be alone with him, that's all. "Just the thought set her teeth on edge. On the rare occasion that she had seen Tucker since thedivorce (which, thankfully, hadn't happened for nearly a year), she'd felt-well-distinctlyuncomfortable. He'd always had this way of looking at her-a quick glide of his gaze over herbody that made her tongue stick to the roof of her mouth. No matter how determined she was notto let him rattle her, all it took was one heated glance to make her forget what she meant to sayand stammer like an idiot.She knew it would be a million times worse if she got stuck out in the woods alone with him,especially in these woods where they'd camped so often during their marriage. They'd hadintimate encounters practically everywhere. She could just imagine stopping for lunch andthinking, I remember that rock, as she tried to swallow trail mix that suddenly tasted like roadgravel.Looking back on it, she could only wonder how she could have been so shameless, sometimes inbroad daylight, no less. Even after the kids came along, Tucker had always managed to stealmoments alone with her, and Tucker being Tucker, he'd known exactly how to make the most ofthem."What are you smiling about?"Ellie gave a guilty start. "I wasn't smiling. ""Yes, you were. It's a refres.h.i.+ng change, actually. You're so worried about those kids, you'vebeen pulling a long face most of the evening. "Her brows snapped together. Had she really been smiling? Surely not.Just then she glimpsed a green-and-white road sign. Relieved to have a reason to change thesubject, she cried, "There's the turnoff!"Stepping hard on the brake, she jerked the wheel to execute the turn. With the suddendeceleration, the Honda's back tires lost traction on the asphalt. She let off the brake and begantapping the pedal. Marvin grabbed the dash and threw her a worried look."Black ice, " she explained. "Thank goodness I spotted the sign. I almost went right past it. ""What's that you're doing with the brake?""The tapping? You do that on ice. It keeps the tires from locking up. "

He rubbed his arms. "I can't believe there's ice at this time of year. It's not even October yet. " "It's common at high elevations even in summer and fall. " Just then, the front tires of the Honda b.u.mped onto the rutted side road, jarring her teeth and making her fight the wheel. She leaned forward to peer out the window. "Keep your eyes peeled for the four hundred road. I don't want to miss it in the dark. " He turned to stare out the gla.s.s. When a small brown sign came into view, he said, "There it is. " She stopped and flipped on the dome light to review Tucker's directions. "About a quarter mile in, we'll come to a fork. There, we go left. " He nodded. When the fork of the road popped up in the headlights, Ellie made the turn. After driving about a mile, she said, "Knowing Tucker, he'll be camped way back off the road, so watch close for his campfire. " "Back off the road. Of course. What self-respecting Rambo would do otherwise?" Ellie peered out the winds.h.i.+eld again, searching for a flicker of firelight in the vast expanses of blackness. Her eyes had started to burn by the time she spotted the campfire, a small splash of amber in the darkness. In the play of light, the ma.s.sive, cinnamon trunks of Ponderosa pines were visible around the clearing. As the car b.u.mped over the ruts and carried them closer, she could make out Tucker's forest-green Land Cruiser parked under the shelter of a tree. Two pup tents had been erected side by side near the fire. Ellie's hands knotted on the wheel. Two tents meant that Tucker had invited his girlfriend. She glanced over at Marvin, more relieved than ever that she'd asked him to come along. At least she wouldn't look like the pathetic ex-wife without a new man in her life. She nosed the Honda off the dirt forestry road and across the field toward the fire. As the car lurched over uneven ground, Marvin straightened on his seat and grabbed the door armrest to steady himself. At the sound of their approach, a woman emerged from the shadows into the firelight. She was tall and slender with a cloud of red hair that ignited to fiery gold in the flickering amber. Liz. The boys called her Frizzy Lizzy. The unflattering nickname had given Ellie the foolish hope that she might be homely. Not. She was infuriatingly gorgeous, and even though Ellie searched hard, she detected not one strand of frizz on her regal head. Her snug jeans showcased long, shapely legs that Ellie would have killed for, and the green sweater she wore accentuated large, firm b.r.e.a.s.t.s the size of late-summer melons. If Tucker Grant had searched a hundred years, he couldn't have found anyone more Ellie's exact opposite.

Chapter Three.

Tucker's mood had gone from bad to worse over the course of the evening. Driving in from the main highway, he'd hoped to spot his sons' bicycle tracks along the edge of the road, but he hadn't. That might mean nothing. The boys could have come in on another road to a different campsite in this same area. Unfortunately, it could also mean they were in another part of Baxter entirely. If the latter proved to be the case, establis.h.i.+ng a search grid would be a real b.i.t.c.h. After a.s.suring Ellie that he would be on the boys' trail by first light, Tucker dreaded having to tell her that the kids' whereabouts might be more difficult to pinpoint than he had first thought. Ah, well. Nothing he said or did made her happy these days, which was exactly why it had been almost eleven months since they'd had a face-to-face. When he picked up the boys for visitation, he stayed out in the driveway and honked the horn. It was easier that way. For the kids' sake, both he and Ellie tried to be civil when they saw each other, but somehow they never quite managed. Invariably, one of them ended up making a snide remark, the other fired back, and the fight was on. Tucker figured it was better for everyone involved if he just steered clear. No such luck tonight. He thanked G.o.d that Liz had come along. This way, at least, he wouldn't have to be alone with Ellie up here, where both of them had so many memories of happier times. He was chopping firewood behind the tents when he heard a car approaching. Just as he registered the sound, Liz called, "She's here, Tucker!" Sighing, he dusted his hands on his jeans and stepped out into view. It was funny how drastically things changed over the course of a man's life. There'd been a time when his heart had lifted at the sight of Ellie. It seemed corny now, but back then he'd always felt as if a cloud had moved over the sun when he wasn't with her. Headlight beams bounced across the clearing. Squinting against the glare, Tucker watched the sil-ver gray Honda roll to a stop some ten feet behind his Land Cruiser. When the engine died, absolute silence blanketed the campsite for a moment. Then, as loud as a rifle shot, a coal in the fire popped, followed by the ping of the cooling metal on the car. Auburn brows arched like wings over her green eyes, Liz angled him a questioning look over her shoulder. Tucker shoved his hands into his pockets and moseyed closer. Since the divorce, Ellie had lent a whole new definition to the word difficult. He wasn't looking forward to this. The heavy boughs of a towering Ponderosa cast her in shadow as she emerged from the sedan. When she moved forward into the firelight, Tucker was so shocked by her appearance that all he could do was stare. During their marriage, she had always worn her hair in a cloud of blond curls to her shoulders. Now it was as short as a boy's and looked as if it had been cut with a pair of hedge trimmers. She wore no makeup, not even any liner to enhance her big blue eyes. Even on camping trips, Ellie had always looked like a fas.h.i.+on plate. The only time Tucker had known her to go barefaced in public had been the day of Sammy's funeral. For just an instant, a feeling akin to panic coursed through him. Something was wrong, had to be. Was she sick? She'd had a great aunt who died of breast cancer. Maybe it ran in the family. s.h.i.+t. Why hadn't the boys said something? An awful, weak feeling attacked Tucker's legs as he studied her delicate features. Smudges of exhaustion underscored her eyes, and she was so pale it frightened him. Even her soft, full mouth looked bloodless. Given the fact that he'd once believed her to be the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, Tucker hated to even think it, but she looked-well, terrible was the only word that came to mind. All animosity aside, he didn't know what he'd do if something happened to her. In a perverse way, she was still a driving force in his life, even if the feelings she now inspired within him were mostly hostile. Because of her, he'd saved his half of the equity from the sale of their home and sc.r.a.ped together all the other cash he could to make a down payment on another house. No way had he been going to rent when Ellie planned to buy, absolutely no way. He'd even traded in his new Land Cruiser for an older model and sold all but one of his hunting rifles. Because of her, he vacuumed the corners with a crevice tool now, for Christ's sake, determined not to let her best him at anything, not even housekeeping. G.o.d, if something was seriously wrong, what would his boys do without her? Tucker had enough trouble being a good single parent on weekends. He had no idea how he'd manage if it became a full-time job. "Hi, there, " she called, rubbing her palms over her thighs the way she always did when she felt nervous. "You haven't lost your knack for giving great directions. I drove straight to the spot without a hitch. " Her voice sounded fine. Tucker narrowed an eye and studied her more closely, trying to determine if she'd lost any weight. At five feet three inches, and only a little over a hundred pounds, there never had been a whole lot to her, but as near as he could tell, she wasn't emaciated. The oversize flannel s.h.i.+rt she wore was soft from countless was.h.i.+ngs, and in the slight breeze, the cloth molded itself to her torso. The small but temptingly plump b.r.e.a.s.t.s he remembered so well still thrust pertly against the flannel. The curve of waist and hip that had once felt so perfectly formed for the weight of his hand looked just as it always had. The tails of the s.h.i.+rt reached to the juncture of her thighs, a s.h.i.+fting tease of plaid that drew his attention to the snug denim that skimmed her legs. Maybe she wasn't sick, after all, he decided, but only showing the strain of an exhausting evening. G.o.d knew his nerves had been strung as tight as piano wire all night. He realized he was staring at her legs. He jerked his gaze away. He'd only been looking out of concern for her health, he a.s.sured himself. Knowing Ellie, she had hacked her hair off and gone without makeup on purpose, just to scare the h.e.l.l out of him. "Tucker always gives good directions, " Liz said in a chirrupy voice. "It comes from working with so many kids fresh out of college. Once off the road, they get turned around and can't find their way back to the rig. He guides them in on a two-way. " Bucky, who'd been out christening bushes, gave a glad bark at the sight of Ellie and ran up for a pat. The dog seemed accustomed to her appearance, which blew Tucker's theory about the awful hairdo and lack of makeup. Evidently she had been neglecting herself for quite some time. What really griped Tucker-what really, really griped him was that she still managed to look beautiful, even with her hair going every which way and her face so white. She leaned down to scratch the dog's ears. In the firelight, her wispy cap of blond curls s.h.i.+mmered and gleamed like molten gold. Still bent forward at the waist, she looked up at Tucker. Her flannel s.h.i.+rt gaped at the front, giving him a bird's-eye view of cleavage and lace. "Any sign of the kids yet?" She had to know he could see down her s.h.i.+rt. Well, he thought testily, she didn't have much to show off. Definitely nothing that interested him, anyhow. "No, " he found the presence of mind to reply. "I can't get out there and look until daylight. " He didn't add that it might take hours or even as much as a day to find their trail, even with the dog to help sniff it out. Ellie straightened, much to his relief. Scanning the dark woods around them, she hugged her slender waist and nibbled her bottom lip. "I just pray they're all right. " "They'll be fine for one night. " Tucker mentally crossed his fingers that one night didn't stretch into two. "Oh, I hope so, " she said shakily. The awful, frightened look in her eyes took Tucker back in time to that fateful afternoon when she'd been worried that Sammy might get hurt on the motorcycle he'd been about to buy for him. With the memories came pain that ran so deep it made his bones ache. He had overridden Ellie's concerns that day, and less than a week later, Sammy had been dead. Ellie had never forgiven him for that. Not that he blamed her. Tucker would carry the guilt and regret with him to his grave. A movement inside the Honda caught Tucker's eye. Straining to see past the glint of firelight on the winds.h.i.+eld, he made out the vague shape of a man on the pa.s.senger side. He appeared to be eating something. After licking his fingers, he wrenched open the door and climbed from the car. He was a short, stocky fellow and dressed like a department-store salesman. Tucker had nothing against neckties; he wore one himself occasionally. But a wilderness area was no place for one. Introductions weren't necessary. The boys had told him all about good old Marvin, namely that the guy was a dweeb and they couldn't understand what their mother saw in him. Tucker had to admit he was mystified, as well. As Marvin stepped around the front of the car to stand beside Ellie, Tucker noted that he had the beginnings of an impressivepotbelly and was going bald. In Tucker's opinion, Ellie could do a h.e.l.l of a lot better for herself.Looks weren't everything, of course. Maybe Marvin had a great personality and a fabulous senseof humor.Or maybe he was just d.a.m.ned good in bed.Tucker wanted to kick himself for allowing that thought to slip into his mind. The particulars ofEl-lie's s.e.x life were none of his business. As long as she chose lovers who were nice to his kids,he didn't care who hung his britches on her bedpost at night.Waving a hand toward her current sidekick, she said, "Marvin, I'd like you to meet my ex-husband, Tucker Grant. Tucker, this is my friend and coworker, Marvin Baines. "Tucker didn't miss the fact that Ellie had honored Marvin by introducing Tucker to him ratherthan vice versa. It was a subtle social nuance, one that many people no longer observed, but Ellie,the highfalutin physician's daughter, had been raised in upper crust circles where such things wereimportant. Now in her mid-thirties, she still hadn't lost all her social grace, though G.o.d knew howshe'd managed to retain any of it after thirteen years of marriage to a rough-mannered logger'sbrat.Instead of feeling angry at the slight, Tucker almost grinned. Seeing her in action brought backmemories. She was the only woman he knew who could so politely say, "Up yours. " In hiscircles, people were more direct, and polish was something they put on their dress shoes.He stepped past Liz to shake Marvin's hand. The guy's grip was as soft and clammy as a soggymarsh-mallow. "Good to meet you. ""Yes, well, " Marvin replied, "I only wish it were under happier circ.u.mstances. I hope you don'tmind that I came along to help with the search. "Tucker angled Ellie a sharp glance. The last thing he needed was a tenderfoot on his hands.Before he could think what to say, Liz cleared her throat. Tucker met her sparking gaze, realizedhe hadn't introduced her yet, and hastened to rectify the oversight.Ellie smiled and thrust out her right arm. "h.e.l.lo, Liz. It's great to finally make your acquaintance.The boys have told me so much about you. "All of it bad, no doubt, Tucker thought sourly. The boys didn't like Liz and made no secret of thefact.Liz hesitated before shaking Ellie's hand. Then she relented, only to wipe her palm on her jeansafterward as if the contact had been contaminating. Tucker frowned. Had he missed something?As far as he knew, Ellie had been politeness itself so far, her manner warm and cordial.Ellie shot Tucker a questioning look. Pretending not to notice, he gestured toward the fire. "Thecoffee's on. Feel free to help yourselves if you need a pick-me-up after the long drive. "Marvin nodded. "That sounds great. Man, it's chilly as all get-out up here. I'd swear it was themiddle of winter. ""At this elevation, it's always cold at night and early in the morning, especially in the fall andspring, " Tucker explained.

Ellie touched Marvin's sleeve. "We should pitch our tents first. Then we'll have coffee. " Marvin shrugged. "It shouldn't take that long to put up two tents. Can't we do it later?" "Just in case we have problems, I'd rather do it now. Daybreak will come early. I don't want to be up half the night, a.s.sembling our shelters and getting our gear ready to go. " With a smile for Liz, Ellie excused herself, grabbed Marvin by the arm, and started for her car. Tucker watched the pair rummage through the trunk of the Honda for a moment. Marvin rested a possessive hand on Ellie's shoulder as she searched through a box, his pudgy fingers tracing light circles over her flannel s.h.i.+rt. Tucker knew it was bad of him, but he couldn't help but wonder how she could stand having those soft, clammy hands on her body. Memories a.s.sailed him of other camping trips when he and Ellie had still been together. If Marvin had dared to touch her in such a familiar way then, Tucker would have ripped his chubby arms from their sockets and bludgeoned him with the b.l.o.o.d.y ends. But, hey, that was history. If she wanted to sleep with the Pillsbury Doughboy, it was no skin off his nose. He just plain didn't give a rat's a.s.s. Firelight created a small circle of illumination in the clearing, but beyond that, the woods were darker than dark. As Zach whittled pointy ends on sticks so he and Kody could roast fat-free hot dogs for supper, he kept feeling as if something was staring at him. Occasionally, he heard twigs snap, but no matter how many times he turned to look, he saw nothing. The thought of cougars and bears sent a chill crawling up his spine. Maybe he shouldn't have gone along with this crazy plan of Kody's, he thought sourly. Back in town, getting their folks off alone together for a few days had seemed like a good idea. But now Zach was sort of scared. All he and Kody had for protection was a couple of pocketknives. What would they do if a huge animal came charging out of the trees at them? Zach tried to distract himself by thinking about other stuff-like these hot dogs their father had bought, for instance. Cold, they tasted awful, and when Zach chewed on them, they made funny squeaky sounds against his teeth. What had gotten into Dad, anyway? He never let them have fast food anymore, and the only snack foods he kept on hand were lean cold cuts, fresh fruits and vegetables, rubber hot dogs, low-fat potato chips, and nasty carob-coated raisins. Even the hot dog buns were whole wheat. It was enough to make a guy barf. Som