Rescued: Mother And Baby Part 14

Logan watched the solitary figure of Georgie as she looked out over the loch. His heart ached for her. But he was doing the right thing, wasn't he? She'd get over him in time. It was better this way. She had made it clear she'd find it hard to accept his job in the army, to live with the fear every day, wondering whether he was still alive. And he couldn't blame her. She had suffered enough.

But, the relentless voice in his head was back. Was that the real reason? If he loved her, he could leave the army. But if she truly loved him, she would never have asked him to. The realisation hit him like a ton of bricks. That's what he was scared of. That she didn't love him enough. That one day she too would leave him. That was the true reason he had rejected her back on the hill. He was scared that she would leave him eventually, the way his mother had. He wasn't protecting Georgie. He was protecting himself.

Georgie heard the crunch of sh.e.l.ls and whirled round to find Logan standing behind her.

'Logan,' she said flatly. 'I thought we had said everything we had to say.'

'I can't leave things between us like this. It's not fair. You deserve to know the truth. Even if there is no future for us, I can't pretend that I don't love you.'

The icy fingers around her heart began to melt. He did love her. Was that what he was saying? Now she was really confused. Logan was the last man she would ever have imagined not to be able to explain himself clearly.

He seemed to read her mind. 'I know I'm not making any sense. Look, can we go and sit somewhere-where no one can see us?'

She followed his gaze back up the sh.o.r.e. Sure enough, people were glancing their way. They were bound to be curious, although there wouldn't be an ounce of malice in their speculation. Nevertheless, whatever Logan had to tell her was best heard out of view.

They walked up the side of the loch a little until they found a rock to lean against. It had the dual advantage of s.h.i.+elding them from the wind as well as spectators. They sat down side by side, not touching. Georgie waited for Logan to continue.

'I haven't been honest with you,' he said. 'Remember when you asked me about my parents and I told you they died when I was young?'

She nodded.

'I lied to you.'

Georgie frowned. 'Lied to me? Why would you do that?'

'I don't know. I guess I was embarra.s.sed, ashamed even.'

'Ashamed? I think you'd better tell me the whole story.' She turned and looked directly into his eyes.

'Talk to me, Logan,' she said softly. 'Remember that day in the plane? When you helped me face up to my physical fear? Can what you're about to tell me be any worse?'

A half-smile flickered across his lips. The beginnings of a beard roughened his jaw, emphasising his high cheekbones. Georgie would have given anything to pull him into her arms, but instinctively she knew this wasn't the time.

'My mother gave me up when I was two,' Logan continued after a pause. 'I spent the rest of my childhood either in foster-homes or a children's home. I don't know anything about my father. So, no, I don't have any family and I never did.'

Georgie was appalled. His mother had given him away? How could any woman do that to her two-year-old? It was beyond cruel.

She snuggled against him.

'I'm so sorry, Logan. I can't even begin to imagine what that was like.'

'And I can't imagine what it's like to have a family.' His tone lightened, but to Georgie's ears it felt forced. 'They say you don't miss what you never had.'

'Why did she give you up? Was she sick? What?'

'I didn't know why she did. No one ever told me. As a kid I used to imagine all sorts of scenarios as to why she couldn't keep me, no matter how much she'd wanted to, terminal illnesses included, but the truth is I was too much of a handful for her and she was very young.'

'All two-year-olds are a handful,' Georgie protested. 'Believe me, I know. But most mothers don't give their children away.'

He looked down at her. The naked pain in his eyes took her breath away. 'Then I must have been a particularly difficult two-year-old. I was always getting into things, getting into mischief. It was the same all the way through my childhood. None of my foster-parents kept me for longer than a year. Somehow they all seemed to find me too much to deal with. So I always a.s.sumed it was me.'

The image of a young Logan confused, baffled and hurt by constant rejection almost broke her heart.

'Why weren't you adopted?' she asked. 'Surely there were people who were desperate to take on a two-year-old.'

'That was part of the problem,' he said. 'It seems she refused to give me up for adoption at first. So I had to go to foster-homes. By the time she finally agreed, I was too old. From the age of six, I lived in children's homes. My behaviour deteriorated after that until there was no chance of anyone taking me on. I guess I didn't want anyone to try. There's only so much rejection a child can take.'

'Oh, Logan, I'm so very sorry,' Georgie said softly.

Logan looked at her, his eyes, darkening. 'I don't want or need your sympathy, Georgie,' he said warningly. 'After all, everything turned out for the best, didn't it? If I hadn't gone off the rails, my care worker would never have suggested the army cadets for me, and if I hadn't gone to the army cadets, I would never have realised what I wanted to do and made something of myself. So you see, Georgie, everything in life has a way of working out.'

'And your mother? Do you ever hear from her?'

'Funny you should say that,' Logan replied, and he couldn't quite keep the bitterness from his voice. 'I tried to contact her shortly after I met you.' He smiled down at her. 'Seeing the way you were with Jess brought back all the childhood fantasies of a loving mother who had to give me up, although she didn't want to. I left a message with the adoption agency asking that if she was still alive, could she get in touch.'

Georgie flinched from the look in his eyes. She had never seen him look so angry-and hurt-before. 'Needless to say, nothing. At least, not until a couple of weeks ago. She phoned me.'

Georgie waited quietly for him to continue. Something in his tone of voice told her the conversation hadn't been a happy one.

'She said that she was married and had a new family. Her husband knew nothing about me, and she wanted to keep it that way. She was sorry but there it was. She hoped I was happy and that I would have a good life. And that was it.'

He couldn't disguise the pain in his voice. What was it like to be rejected all over again? Even as an adult it must hurt. If she could have, Georgie would have taken his pain from him.

'Cow!' Georgie said forcibly.

Logan smiled wryly. 'I don't know, Georgie. It kind of helped in a funny way. I've spent most of my adult life thinking about her, wondering if she was okay. I imagined all sorts of scenarios and none of them turned out to be true. She was simply a woman who couldn't cope on her own with a young child. She thought she was doing the best for me by giving me up, and as it turned out she was right.'

'But not to want anything to do with you now...' Georgie was still angry for him.

'That's okay too. Because now I have you.'

Hope was blossoming somewhere deep inside Georgie. Now she understood why the army meant so much to him and why he didn't want to leave. It was the only family he had known. The only people he could trust never to let him down. Well, neither would she. She would be his family now. Whatever it took. If only he had explained all this weeks ago. But Logan wouldn't be who he was if he had. She knew his pride had held him back.

'If you want to stay in the army, that's okay, Logan,' she said. 'As long as I can be with you and Jess, I don't care. Families are where your loved ones are, regardless of where you are physically. I know that now.'

He stood up and pulled her into his arms. He squeezed her so tight he almost drove the breath from her body.

'When you turned me down, I was hurt. It made me think you couldn't love me as much as I loved you. And I couldn't accept that. I was also scared I would let you down. That I was incapable of love, that I was like my mother, unable to care enough to stick with a relations.h.i.+p whatever life brought. Then, just now, when I saw you down by the sh.o.r.e, looking so alone, I realised that I'd rather have whatever you could give me than nothing at all.'

She traced the contours of his face with her fingertips, hardly daring to breathe. 'What are you saying, Logan?'

He smiled down at her and the world became a brilliant place full of suns.h.i.+ne and promise.

'I can never stop loving you, not ever. I know now that what I was truly scared of was that you would stop loving me. I thought about what you said. About losing Ian and how that had torn you in two. I knew then it wasn't fair for you to take all the risk of loving me if I couldn't take the risk of loving you. But you wouldn't ever leave, would you? You're not the kind of woman my mother is. Once you give your heart, you give it for keeps. I'm right, aren't I?'

Georgie's answer was to lift her face to his, knowing he would find the answer there.

Logan crushed her against him. 'We've been crazily stupid, haven't we, Georgie?' he whispered into her hair. 'Both trying to run from love, not knowing it was impossible.' He tipped her chin with his finger until he could see into her eyes. 'When we start our life together, I want it to be without secrets, without fear that the past will come back to haunt us. I'm not running any more, Georgie. Are you?'

EPILOGUE.

GEORGIE stood nervously in the airport arrivals hall, clutching Jess's hand. The hall was packed with people waiting for their loved ones and her eyes welled up as she watched a woman fling her arms around the neck of a man as he scooped up the two small children who had gone running towards him with delighted cries of 'Daddy!'

She craned her neck, searching for the person she was waiting for. The last twelve months had been the longest of her life. Every day had been torture. Only sporadic phone calls and his letters had kept her sane. Logan had been home once during the last year, when they had married. But now, at last, he was coming home to her. This time for good. He had accepted the permanent job with MERT and while he had been finis.h.i.+ng his time in the army she had been house-hunting for a home for the three of them. Or rather, she reminded herself as she dropped her hand to her stomach, the soon-to-be-four of them. In the end, she had taken on the department manager's job and, given her pregnancy, it had been the right decision. Lizzie would be returning from maternity leave, just as Georgie was going off on hers. It had all worked out rather well and there was still a place for her on the MERT team whenever she was ready to return to work.

The crowd parted and she saw him. Dressed for the last time in his military uniform, he looked unfamiliar and she caught her breath. Her heart started pounding as his eyes found hers. Time stood still as their gazes locked and then she was running towards him, pulling Jess with her.

Georgie flung herself into his arms and wrapped her legs around him. Stopping only to lift Jess into his arms too, he whirled her around and then there was laughter mixing with her tears.

'I've missed you. How I've missed you,' she cried as he rained kisses on her face. 'Don't you ever leave me again. You hear me.'

Jess was wriggling, wanting to be put down, and Logan lowered her gently to the floor.

He hugged Georgie tighter and she breathed in his familiar scent.

'I'm never going to leave you again, my love,' he whispered in her ear. 'Not as long as there is breath in my body.'

He released her, setting her down gently. The three of them stood in a circle, their arms wrapped around each other. 'My family,' he said, his voice catching. 'My child and my wife.' He touched her gently on the stomach. 'And how is this one doing?'

Georgie looked up at him, her heart full of love and grat.i.tude. 'Your baby is doing just fine, Logan,' she whispered. 'C'mon, my dearest love, let's go home.'

All the characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author, and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all the incidents are pure invention.

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First published in Great Britain 2010.

Harlequin Mills & Boon Limited,.

Eton House, 18-24 Paradise Road, Richmond, Surrey TW9 1SR.

Anne Fraser 2010.

ISBN: 978-1-408-91808-1.