Wicked Games - Moon Kissed Part 25

He would not fall victim to mere thoughts. Mind games. His brain had convinced him of something irrational. He would make the best of this. He must. The longer he separated himself from her, the further they would disconnect.

"I want her. I will go to her."

Yes, he'd kiss her. And it would be as it always had been.

Or he would sooner die.

Bella sorted through the negligee drawer. She normally slept in the buff, but she'd been wearing pajamas lately because it was cold in bed at night.

Severo had been sleeping in the chair so he wouldn't accidentally rub up against her. He probably believed she didn't know, but she was aware in the middle of the night, when her sleep grew light, that he watched her. From afar.

She s.h.i.+vered and swallowed a desperate need to cry.

"You're stronger than this, Bellybean." Using Seth's nickname for her, she released a teardrop, which slid down her cheek. "Suck it up. You have far worse things to deal with than a confused boyfriend." Like how to deal with what she was becoming. She could feel it.

She traced her throat and then her chest. There, at the base of her lungs, was where the pining had first surfaced. It was a burning, like heartburn, but not. It wanted. Craved. And it needed to be slaked.

"The blood hunger," she whispered, her lower lip wobbling. "I don't want to do this. I can't drink blood. It would be so much easier..." If she had support. "Bella?"

Tugging the pink silk nightgown from the drawer and clutching it to her naked body, she turned to find Severo on the other side of the bed. Leather pants, chest bare, looking so handsome. So fine.

Yet no longer yours.

"Is something wrong?"

"Yes, everything," he replied heavily. A sigh lifted his shoulders. He prowled around the bed to her side. He hadn't stood so close to her in days. Tentatively, he lifted a hand and traced a finger down her arm. The heat of him, his musky male scent cloyed. Her skin tensed in antic.i.p.ation. "I've been cruel to you."

The confession stirred her hope. But Bella was not quick to clutch it. "With good reason."

"No." He touched the silk fabric hanging over her forearm. "I've succ.u.mbed to an ingrained belief. I should not look to the past. I must move beyond. My world, my beliefs and prejudices, are formed, but I need to think about what I am willing to accept. What I think I should believe. I need to change my thinking. You should not go through this alone."

"You really feel that way?" The heat of his body poured over her like a desert sun, warm and rich. Could she melt against him without fear of him stiffening and pus.h.i.+ng her away? "I just need you...to hold me."

"I can do that."

He embraced her, drawing her against his chest. The thin silk garment slid to the floor, and they stood flesh to flesh. But Bella did not fool herself into thinking he did not flinch. He did. And the embrace was noticeably stiff.

But it was a start.

"You've been feeling the hunger," he whispered. "I can see it torment you at night."

He smoothed her hair, and she remembered how she'd felt so safe in his arms. She wanted to know that feeling again.

"The hunger will only increase," he said. "I've no means to understand or deal with what is going on inside you. I think I need to contact a friend."

"Someone who knows about the transformation?"

"A vampire."

"But you called him a friend?"

"That may be too generous a term. I've mentioned him before. He is the one vampire in this world I respect. He was once a brain surgeon, and though he heads tribe Kila now, he has fought for peace between the vampire and witch nations. I admire him for his values."

"So you can accept a vampire."

He tilted up her chin. "I will accept a vampire. And I love you, so don't think I could ever stop."

"I think you've already stopped." She lifted her quavering chin bravely. "You just don't realize it yet."

"That's cruel, Bella. I love you." Hearing the words forced her to swallow back tears. She nodded. "But it will be hard."

"I won't lie and tell you it's going to be easy."

"And I won't push. I'm just happy to stand in your arms. Will you hold me until I fall asleep?"

"Yes."

"I'll talk to Bella and get back to you. Thank you, Ivan."

Severo clicked the cell phone off and swiped a hand over his face.

So he was going through with this. He'd given Nikolaus Drake a call, the vampire he knew he could trust with the situation, but he'd been away in Africa. Instead, his son Ivan had taken the call. He was in Minneapolis for another few weeks.

After Severo explained the situation, Ivan agreed to help.

Not that it was his deal to go through with. It was all about Bella. Or it should be. He'd put on a good face the past few days.

He'd even slept beside her last night, holding her, kissing her. But not on the mouth.

How desperately he wanted to make love to her, but she'd told him it was all right. She'd read his reluctance.

Why could he not get past this?

If he didn't master his feelings now, they would not climb up from this chasm and when she did turn, he would never be able to accept her.

"What's up?" Bella asked as she strode through the kitchen, a book in hand. She wore loose-fitting white yoga pants and a tank top that showed her peaked nipples beneath the fabric, and her hair was swept up in a neat ponytail.

"I spoke to Drake," Severo said. "He's out of the country, but his son Ivan is in Minneapolis."

"Oh. And?"

"I trust the Drakes, Bella. You would be in good hands with either father or son. But with the son you have the added factor that his father is a vampire and his mother a witch. And that vampire father is a phoenix."

"Is that a good thing?"

"A phoenix vampire has survived a witch's blood attack and has an immunity to the sun. If you chose to accept the transformation, you will have that blood running through your veins."

"This is my choice?"

"Can't be anyone else's."

"But I thought there was no other option. I mean, madness doesn't ring any of my bells, nor does suicide. I don't want to do anything that's going to see you hating me."

He gripped the back of her head. "I love you." Teeth bared, he snarled out the words, "I will always love you."

"You can speak the words," she said, "but I don't see the truth in your eyes." That made him rear back and slam a fist against the kitchen counter. "Bella, I'm trying!"

"It's okay. If you won't have me as a bloodsucker, then I'll have to learn to accept that."

"You won't do any such thing. How can I make you understand how I feel about you?"

"By being truthful." She set down the book and crossed her arms over her chest. "Severo, you're as scared as I am. Admit it.

You're losing the woman you fell in love with. I'm not the same, and I'm never going to be the same. And every time you look at me, you will see the horrors of your past."

"It won't be like that."

"Just, please, look me in the eye."

It was such a simple request, and yet he struggled to hold her liquid green gaze for longer than a second. In her eyes he saw so much. Their shared love. The good times, when they'd spent days making love until they were both too exhausted to rise for breakfast. And the teasing play. And the jealousy he felt whenever another man got close enough to breathe her air.

She is yours. Look at her.

Bringing up his chin, Severo found Bella's pleading stare.

"You love me?" she asked.

He nodded.

"And you're afraid?"

"I am. I...want it to be as it's been, but it never will be. And what scares me the most is the werewolf will kill you first chance it gets."

"It will not. I love the werewolf, and it loves me."

"The werewolf takes off vampire heads with one swipe of a paw."

"You can control it." She hugged him and kissed his neck. "If you want to."

If he wanted to? So easy as that, she thought. Yet would he want to?

Bella kept a firm grip on the pa.s.senger-side door handle as Severo navigated the potholes on Highway 35W, which stretched to Minneapolis. He seemed unsure and frequently slowed to read the signs.

"You've not driven this road before, have you?"

He cast her a knowing smile.

"You've run here," she decided.

"Saves on gas, and the wolf needs the exercise. I can make this distance in half the time it takes a car."

"Well, aren't you speedy on four legs."

"Don't worry. I've a driver's license. I drive into town on occasion to stay in practice."

"You navigated our small town pretty well." She twisted on the seat and curled a knee up to her chest. "So, you've told me about Ivan. How does this all work? How long do you think it'll take?"

"Ivan suggested a few days. The initial bite can take place right away, but you'll then need to drink human blood. He intends to show you the ropes, which is generous of him. You'll be in good hands, Bella. You could have just ventured out on your own, attacked a mortal, and found your own way."

"You'd never allow that."

He smirked. "Only because I want what's best for you."

"You are what's best for me, lover. Are you going to be there when we...do it?"

"I will not watch another man hold you in his arms and sink his teeth into you, Bella. I don't think it would be comfortable for either of us, do you?"

The man did have a ferocious jealous streak. "Yes and no. I mean, I want you there for support, but it would be kind of squicky for you, I'm sure."

"Squicky?"

"Yeah, squirm icky."

He turned onto a highway off-ramp. "I'll stay at a motel and pick you up when you call. Might be safer for Drake that way, too. I know if I get anywhere near him after the fact, I'll want to rip his head off."

Ivan Drake lived in a forty-second-floor penthouse in downtown Minneapolis. Bella swallowed during the elevator ride, because fast elevators made her ears pop.

As they waited before the door, she slid her hand into Severo's. He leaned in and kissed her on the mouth-slowly, like he meant it-and she didn't sense any disgust or repulsion. In a way, it was a goodbye kiss. Goodbye to the woman he knew, the woman she knew.

"It's going to be fine," he said and pressed his forehead to hers.

What she wouldn't give to have back the randy, charming Severo who had once seduced her with suggestive moves and aggressive will. That charm was still inside him, but she would never be able to touch that part of him again.

"Just tell me what you think of me."

"I love you, sweet."

The endearment went a long way in rea.s.suring her. Superficially. "I love you, too."

Ivan opened the door to the vast penthouse. The foyer was stark white and modern, as was the living room beyond it. The man had to be rich, because, Bella thought, from what she could see, the place deserved to be in a magazine.

Ivan stood as high as Severo and was equally as built. What was with all these paranormals? They were all muscled and so s.e.xy.