The Royals Part 23

In her hooded slicker and rubber boots, she bleakly surveyed the tangle of fire trucks, hoses, and ladders. It was her forty-fifth wedding anniversary, and her husband was in Argentina-with another woman. "Philip was traveling with us as president of the World Wildlife Fund," a member of his group reported, "and while I don't recall seeing him with Susan Barrantes [as her daughter, Sarah Ferguson, later alleged], there was talk about him and his secretary.... What I remember most is the board of directors meeting the morning after the fire.... We were all talking about the television coverage of the Queen and Prince Andrew at Windsor Castle, hauling out the debris. Philip walked into the room [in Buenos Aires] and started the meeting without mentioning a word about the fire, about his wife, or his son. We couldn't believe it. Not one word."

Britain's heritage secretary declared the fire a national disaster and expressed the nation's sympathy. He promised the Queen the government would restore her castle. But with no fire insurance, he said the cost to taxpayers would be about $80 million. He said people would be "proud" to carry the burden. England, though, was mired in a recession, and Her Majesty's subjects resented the implication that they should pay for the restoration.

"While the castle stands, it is theirs," wrote Janet Daley in the Times, Times, "but when it burns down, it is ours." "but when it burns down, it is ours."

The Palace argued that it was the government's responsibility to purchase the Queen's fire insurance.

"For the richest woman in the world?" boomed a Member of Parliament.

"She's not not the richest," retorted a courtier. He flashed a recently published list of the country's wealthiest women, showing the Queen ranked tenth, with a.s.sets of about $150 million, which disputed previous estimates of her wealth at $7.5 billion. The Palace recognized the line between the "haves" and the "have nots"; and to some of her subjects, Her Majesty just had too much. So when the richest," retorted a courtier. He flashed a recently published list of the country's wealthiest women, showing the Queen ranked tenth, with a.s.sets of about $150 million, which disputed previous estimates of her wealth at $7.5 billion. The Palace recognized the line between the "haves" and the "have nots"; and to some of her subjects, Her Majesty just had too much. So when Business Age Business Age magazine said she was the wealthiest person in Britain, the Palace protested to the Press Complaints Commission. The Queen's courtiers said it wasn't fair to lump in royal residences, art treasures, and crown jewels with her personal wealth. The commission agreed and said the evaluation should be lowered from billions to millions. magazine said she was the wealthiest person in Britain, the Palace protested to the Press Complaints Commission. The Queen's courtiers said it wasn't fair to lump in royal residences, art treasures, and crown jewels with her personal wealth. The commission agreed and said the evaluation should be lowered from billions to millions.

"I'm sure that that will be immensely comforting to my unemployed const.i.tuents," said the MP. will be immensely comforting to my unemployed const.i.tuents," said the MP.

The country's largest-selling tabloid, the News of the World, News of the World, asked its readers to vote on the issue. Providing two telephone numbers, the paper said to call one number if "we should pay" and another if "she should pay." There were sixteen thousand calls, and fifteen thousand said "she should pay." asked its readers to vote on the issue. Providing two telephone numbers, the paper said to call one number if "we should pay" and another if "she should pay." There were sixteen thousand calls, and fifteen thousand said "she should pay."

"She" struck a profitable pose. Like a business tyc.o.o.n who recognizes there's money to be made in changing with the times, the Queen saw there was a dynasty to be saved. Not even the British monarchy could survive indefinitely in the thin air of unaccountable privilege. So she announced through her Prime Minister that she would start paying taxes. She also agreed to open Buckingham Palace to the public for two months a year. She said she would charge $12 admission to help finance restoration of Windsor Castle. And she would also help restore the castle with profits from the Palace gift shop, where tourists could purchase commemorative cup-and-saucer sets ($36) and crown-shaped chocolates ($6). Over the objections of her husband, she agreed to give up the royal yacht, Britannia, Britannia, in 1997. That was when it was scheduled to be decommissioned to spare the taxpayer the expense of an overhaul. in 1997. That was when it was scheduled to be decommissioned to spare the taxpayer the expense of an overhaul.* Also, to the dismay of her relatives, she removed most of them from the public payroll and reimbursed the government for everyone but herself, her mother, and her husband. This gesture returned approximately $14 million to the taxpayers. But she kept herself on the Civil List for $11,850,000 a year, her mother for $972,000 a year, and her husband for $547,000 a year. Also, to the dismay of her relatives, she removed most of them from the public payroll and reimbursed the government for everyone but herself, her mother, and her husband. This gesture returned approximately $14 million to the taxpayers. But she kept herself on the Civil List for $11,850,000 a year, her mother for $972,000 a year, and her husband for $547,000 a year.

Perhaps to underscore his worth, Philip had agreed in 1993 to be profiled by journalist Fiammetta Rocco in the Independent on Sunday. Independent on Sunday. His office had provided her with the phone numbers of fifty people to call. Her most interesting interview proved to be with the Duke himself. "I arrived at the Palace on the day of the Queen's His office had provided her with the phone numbers of fifty people to call. Her most interesting interview proved to be with the Duke himself. "I arrived at the Palace on the day of the Queen's annus horribilis annus horribilis speech," recalled the writer, who had to submit her questions in advance. "He had barred all personal questions about his family-his parents, his wife, his children. He only wanted to discuss issues, but not all issues. I couldn't ask about ordination of women in the church, but he would talk endlessly about the World Wildlife Fund." speech," recalled the writer, who had to submit her questions in advance. "He had barred all personal questions about his family-his parents, his wife, his children. He only wanted to discuss issues, but not all issues. I couldn't ask about ordination of women in the church, but he would talk endlessly about the World Wildlife Fund."

During the interview, the reporter strayed slightly from the script. She mused that Philip seemed to be a man surrounded by many myths. He brightened slightly, so she proceeded.

"One myth is that you have had many mistresses."

He looked exasperated. "Have you ever stopped to think that for the last forty years, I have never moved anywhere without a policeman accompanying me? So how the h.e.l.l could I get away with anything like that?" He stared straight ahead and waited for the next question. That subject was closed.

His response amused the former head of the Royal Protection Service, who chuckled when he read it. "The truth is our function is to protect the person, not his morals.... If he's inside a woman's flat, we stand outside. We don't care what he's doing inside as long as he emerges unharmed... so he can get away with whatever he wants.... We're not there to protect him as the Queen's husband, but to guard him as the Duke of Edinburgh... there's a considerable difference...."

The British historian and writer Richard Hough, who spent time with Philip in the 1970s researching a book and traveling with him on the Britannia, Britannia, acknowledged the other women in his life. "There were two secretaries on board s.h.i.+p, both very pretty," he recalled. "And I know that he keeps a mistress... somewhere in Notting Hill. But he was very discreet." Years before, Philip had underscored the importance of discretion when he was asked the secret of a successful marriage. "A home of one's own," he said, " acknowledged the other women in his life. "There were two secretaries on board s.h.i.+p, both very pretty," he recalled. "And I know that he keeps a mistress... somewhere in Notting Hill. But he was very discreet." Years before, Philip had underscored the importance of discretion when he was asked the secret of a successful marriage. "A home of one's own," he said, "and common sense." common sense."

The reporter did not push the point with Philip. "A second myth," she said, "is that Prince Andrew is not really your son. That he is the son of Lord Porchester [the Queen's racing manager]."

Philip did not flinch. Knowing that any reaction would be front-page news, he said nothing. He sat as impa.s.sive as stone. "Like a child with porridge in his mouth," the reporter later told a colleague. She had addressed the issue of his son's paternity because it had been raised weeks before by Nigel Dempster in The New York Times Magazine: The New York Times Magazine: "Get hold of a picture of Prince Andrew and then one of Lord Porchester at the same age," Dempster was quoted telling the writer Christopher Hitchens. "You'll see that Prince Philip could never have been Andy's father." "Get hold of a picture of Prince Andrew and then one of Lord Porchester at the same age," Dempster was quoted telling the writer Christopher Hitchens. "You'll see that Prince Philip could never have been Andy's father."

The Palace did not challenge the published statement, and neither did Philip. When his silence became uncomfortable, Rocco moved on.

"The third myth is a rumor that you once had an affair with Valery Giscard d'Estaing [former President of France]," she said.

Philip laughed. "Oh, Giscard is a delightful old boy, but I never stayed at the Elysee Palace when he was President. I would stay there when [Vincent] Auriol was President [1947 1954], and he was a frightful b.u.g.g.e.rer."

The reporter laughed, too, as if to acknowledge that her impertinent question deserved no more than his mischievous answer. A few days later a courier knocked on her door with an envelope. The thick heavy white stationery from Windsor Castle contained a curt message from HRH Prince Philip: "Do not use the Auriol anecdote on your tape." And her editor received a call from the Queen's press secretary, complaining about the reporter's impudence. Both journalists were summoned to the Palace for a meeting with Prince Philip's private secretary, Sir Brian McGrath. He reminded them he had provided the names and phone numbers of people whose recollections lent credibility to the profile. "At least, while those recollections remain on the record," said the courtier. The implication was clear. If the journalists used Philip's tape-recorded comment, they would lose their sources, who had agreed to be quoted because Philip gave permission. Without named sources, the journalists knew the profile would lack punch.

They argued that the anecdote about the late President of France showed Prince Philip's sense of humor. The Palace was not to be conned. A deal was struck: the newspaper would not use the anecdote, and the Palace would not withdraw their sources.

Afterward Philip said he would never give another interview to a British reporter. But by then his personal life, once off limits to the press, had become vulnerable. The Independent on Sunday Independent on Sunday reported that he and the Queen slept in separate bedrooms. reported that he and the Queen slept in separate bedrooms. Vanity Fair Vanity Fair said he kept a mistress. said he kept a mistress. The New Yorker The New Yorker said it was a "succession of actress-mistresses who regularly appeared on television, prompting viewers in the know to smile and say, 'She's one of his.' " For those not in the know, the said it was a "succession of actress-mistresses who regularly appeared on television, prompting viewers in the know to smile and say, 'She's one of his.' " For those not in the know, the Tatler Tatler published "The Royal Collection," which provided the names, biographies, and photographs of thirteen women described as "the Duke of Edinburgh's fan club." The list included minor British stars but omitted major American ones like Jane Russell, Zsa Zsa Gabor, and s.h.i.+rley MacLaine. The British aristocrats included two Princesses, one d.u.c.h.ess, one Countess, and five t.i.tled ladies, including the seventy-year-old wife of one of the Queen's former equerries. "That's an appalling image of my mother-in-law-in bed with Prince Philip," pooh-poohed the woman's son-in-law. "It's like published "The Royal Collection," which provided the names, biographies, and photographs of thirteen women described as "the Duke of Edinburgh's fan club." The list included minor British stars but omitted major American ones like Jane Russell, Zsa Zsa Gabor, and s.h.i.+rley MacLaine. The British aristocrats included two Princesses, one d.u.c.h.ess, one Countess, and five t.i.tled ladies, including the seventy-year-old wife of one of the Queen's former equerries. "That's an appalling image of my mother-in-law-in bed with Prince Philip," pooh-poohed the woman's son-in-law. "It's like Love Among the Ruins. Love Among the Ruins."

"The [Tatler] list was a good lineup but hardly complete," said the columnist Taki. "Everybody knows that Sasha [the d.u.c.h.ess of Abercorn] is Philip's mistress.... She's lasted the longest-six to eight years.... He would take the Britannia Britannia to the Caribbean to attend an opening in St. Kitt's because she would be there." A private photograph from one Caribbean trip was sold to newspapers, showing Philip with only a towel wrapped around his waist. He had his arm around the d.u.c.h.ess, who was in her swimsuit. Her husband, James, who was standing a few feet behind her, was cropped out of the picture. "James is the nicest man in the world," said Taki. "He'd have to be to put up with Philip." to the Caribbean to attend an opening in St. Kitt's because she would be there." A private photograph from one Caribbean trip was sold to newspapers, showing Philip with only a towel wrapped around his waist. He had his arm around the d.u.c.h.ess, who was in her swimsuit. Her husband, James, who was standing a few feet behind her, was cropped out of the picture. "James is the nicest man in the world," said Taki. "He'd have to be to put up with Philip."

Before he died in 1993, John Barratt, who was Lord Mountbatten's private secretary for twenty years, also discussed Philip's extramarital love affairs. "The d.u.c.h.ess of Abercorn is Philip's now, but Mountbatten had her first-she was his G.o.dchild, and he loved her greatly, although she was forty years younger. Then he pa.s.sed her on to Philip....

"The Queen can be very imperious and cold. Austere, really. So it's understandable why Philip goes elsewhere, and make no mistake about it, he does. But he hasn't had as many affairs as people think. Many women are social mountaineers who feed off the a.s.sociation with him. For them, it's a badge of honor to be perceived as a lover of the Queen's husband.... I'd put Patricia Kluge in that category," he said, referring to the former soft-p.o.r.n belly dancer from Liverpool. "Before her divorce from John W. Kluge, the American tyc.o.o.n, she had him purchase an estate near Balmoral and obtain Philip's trainer to teach her carriage riding, which was his favorite sport.... She was always ringing up to say, 'I'm having a party and would like you to come and bring some friends.' Through her husband, who was worth $6 billion, she was too rich for the royal family to ignore. Philip and Charles worked her for over $500,000 to sponsor the Royal Windsor Horse Show, but I seriously doubt whether Philip took a canter outside the rails for her...."

Barratt went on to say: "Now Princess Alexandra [the daughter of Princess Marina, who married the Duke of Kent] is different.... She and Philip have been long involved.... She's the Queen's first cousin-a tall blond beauty who married Sir Angus Ogilvy.... Her looks are reminiscent of Princess Anne, who is Philip's favorite child. You'll notice that many of his mistresses have his daughter's long, lean looks. The same horsey teeth, arched hair, Knightsbridge [slim] legs....

"Basically, Philip is not a happy man. He's solidly married, but not happily.... He's blindingly energetic; travels constantly to fill the void of being the Queen's husband.... He probably should've married some rich American woman, had a good time, and then divorced her. At least he'd have autonomy. Here, he looks like a kept man, and for someone as proud as he is, that's dehumanizing."

What the Queen did not see, she overlooked, and her husband pursued his flirtations with discretion. Except for the occasional actress, he confined himself to married women within the n.o.bility. The aristocratic wives were impressed by his royal lineage and reveled in his attentions. The few who were not flattered pretended otherwise because he was married to the Queen. "It's a subtle form of blackmail," said one woman, who was subjected to what she called "an excessive overture" from the Duke of Edinburgh.

When one of the Queen's bankers was invited to Balmoral for a house party, he brought his very attractive wife. Philip insisted that she and the other female guests join him in a musical parlor game. He arrayed the women in a circle around him, and he stood in the middle. Placing a bottle of wine between his legs, he told the women they had to remove it without using their hands. The compet.i.tion was to take the bottle away from him with their legs before the music stopped. "No hands, now," he warned the banker's wife. "No hands." Deeply embarra.s.sed, she played the Duke's game because she said it would have been rude to decline.

"My wife felt the same way when he asked her to dance," said Robin Knight Bruce, an army officer. "Philip is Colonel-in-Chief of the Queen's royal Irish Hussars, and he comes to the regimental dinners to grope the officers' wives. When he did it to my wife, I went to my supervisor and said, 'Do not let the f.u.c.king Duke of Edinburgh dance with my wife again or I'll kick him in the b.a.l.l.s and so will she.' "

For a sophisticated man who spoke three languages, traveled the world, collected art, painted, and published numerous books, the Duke of Edinburgh could act like an oafish adolescent. One of his son's young girlfriends said she was "terribly embarra.s.sed" by his juvenile behavior. Romy Adlington was sixteen years old when she spent her first weekend with Prince Edward and the royal family. She said that the sixty-six-year-old duke leered and winked, patted her bottom when she walked down the hall to her room, and ogled her cleavage during dinner. She did not realize that it could have been worse.

"If it's in his head, it's on his plate," said one of his former equerries, dismissing Philip's frank observations about women and s.e.x. The former aide smiled as he described the Duke as "a man's man." In his defense, the aide offered a "boys will be boys" shrug. He laughed as he recalled Philip's comment at a film premiere when he saw Elizabeth Taylor in the flesh. As the Duke walked toward the star in a receiving line, he noted her revealing gown and her bosom, which he said, looked like two pillows. Turning to his aide, he said, "Hop in."

He theorized that the differences between men and women were best ill.u.s.trated by women's ability to knit. "I do think it shows that girls have an ability to disa.s.sociate what they are doing with their hands from what they are doing with their minds," he told the writer Glenys Roberts. "It is why they are able to carry out repet.i.tive production line jobs which intellectuals find so deadening. I once asked a girl in a factory what she thought about while she was working. She said she thought about her boyfriend, the shopping, the film she was going to see. Fascinating."

Philip scattered his opinions on a broad canvas, always colorfully, sometimes offensively. The Mother's Union of Great Britain took exception when he equated prost.i.tutes with wives. In defense of hunting, he had said there was no moral difference between killing animals for sport and killing them for money. "It's like s.e.x," he said. "I don't think a prost.i.tute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing."

When a Member of Parliament asked him how he could justify being president of the World Wildlife Fund with his pursuit of blood sports, Philip snapped, "Are you a vegetarian?"

"No," replied the MP, Anthony Beaumont-Dark.

"Do you eat red meat?" Philip demanded.

"Yes, but that's a different matter from blasting poor birds out of the sky."

Philip disagreed. "It is like saying that adultery is all right as long as you do not enjoy it."

The MP smiled. "You, sir," he said, "might know more about that than me."

TWENTY.

The Princess of Wales stood in the middle of her shoe closet and pointed to three rows of low heels. She waved her hand at the stubby shoes she had worn so she wouldn't tower over her husband. "You can throw out those dwarfers," she told her dresser. "I won't be needing them anymore." Within days she started wearing her highest heels-the ones with ankle straps and open toes that she called her "tart's trotters." She had been liberated by the Prime Minister's statement to the House of Commons: It is announced from Buckingham Palace that with regret, the Prince and Princess of Wales have decided to separate. Their Royal Highnesses have no plans to divorce and their const.i.tutional positions are unaffected. It is announced from Buckingham Palace that with regret, the Prince and Princess of Wales have decided to separate. Their Royal Highnesses have no plans to divorce and their const.i.tutional positions are unaffected. This decision has been reached amicably.... The Queen and Duke of Edinburgh, though saddened, understand and sympathize with the difficulties which have led to this decision.... This decision has been reached amicably.... The Queen and Duke of Edinburgh, though saddened, understand and sympathize with the difficulties which have led to this decision....

When the Prime Minister made that announcement, he looked like a man at a funeral forced to deliver the eulogy. His words had been crafted by the Queen's lawyers and courtiers to convey sad news without quite telling the truth. Despite the public rea.s.surances, the couple did did plan to divorce, their decision was plan to divorce, their decision was not not amicable, and their const.i.tutional positions amicable, and their const.i.tutional positions were were affected. The Queen and Duke of Edinburgh were not saddened: they were incensed. And they did not understand or sympathize. Rather, they believed that the marriage should continue, no matter how miserable, for the sake of the monarchy. affected. The Queen and Duke of Edinburgh were not saddened: they were incensed. And they did not understand or sympathize. Rather, they believed that the marriage should continue, no matter how miserable, for the sake of the monarchy.

Television programs were preempted on December 9, 1992, to carry the Prime Minister's statement, and when he rose to speak, the House of Commons fell strangely silent. Afterward the fiery Labor MP Dennis Skinner said, "The royal family has just pushed the self-destruct b.u.t.ton." He was immediately barraged by indignant shouts. But he continued: "It is high time we stopped this charade of swearing allegiance to the Queen and her heirs and successors, because we don't know from time to time who they are.... The reigning Queen could possibly be the last."

The Prime Minister bristled. "You do not, I believe, speak for the nation or any significant part of it."

But the Prime Minister was wrong. After his announcement, polls showed that three out of four Britons believed the House of Windsor was crumbling.

The Queen, who was at Sandringham, did not watch the announcement on television; she was walking her dogs. When she returned, her page was waiting to offer his sympathy. She nodded briskly and said, "I think you'll find it's all for the best."

Charles was more forthcoming with his staff at Highgrove. "I feel a surging sense of relief," he told them. He had already started refurbis.h.i.+ng the rooms that Diana had vacated. He ordered all the belongings she had not taken with her to be burned, including some of the children's old toys. On top of the bonfire was a carved wooden rocking horse that had been a birthday gift to Prince William from the President of the United States and Mrs. Reagan.

After the Prime Minister's announcement, reporters descended on Camilla Parker Bowles's manor home in Wilts.h.i.+re, but she feigned ignorance about the Waleses' separation. "Obviously, if something has gone wrong, I'm very sorry for them," she said. "But I know nothing more than the average person in the street. I only know what I see on television." Fifty miles away, her husband emerged from his London apartment. The couple, who had been married nineteen years, lived apart quietly and saw each other only on rare weekends. When reporters asked his reaction, Andrew Parker Bowles kept walking. "Like everyone else," he said, "one feels sad about this." He scolded a reporter for suggesting that his wife had been instrumental in the breakup.

"No, it's not true," he said. "How many times do I have to spell it out? Those stories are pure fiction."

Some people on the street told reporters they felt betrayed. "The royal family is supposed to be better than us," said one middle-aged woman. "They're supposed to show us the way to behave. Otherwise, what's their purpose?"

Reaction split down generations. Those who had spent childhood nights huddled in London's underground during World War II looked to royalty as a beacon. But those who grew up listening to the Beatles, not to the bombs, viewed the royal family as a relic. To the postwar generations, especially those reared on video games, the monarchy just looked plain silly. One nineteen-year-old student from Liverpool said, "Just a bunch of out-of-date, out-of-touch richies."

But the royalist, Lord St. John of Fawsley, disagreed. He rationalized that the royal family was emblematic of the modern dysfunctional family. Next to the United States, the United Kingdom had the highest rate of divorce in the Western world, which was reflected in its royal family. "For this century the monarchy has been held up as an example of family rect.i.tude," he said with a straight face. "Well, that can't go on. So the royal family will have to adapt itself to new circ.u.mstances. In some ways it will be nearer to the people because it will be sharing the family problems all of us have faced."

No dynasty had taught its subjects more emphatically to shrink from divorce-and no dynasty had given them more from which to shrink. Yet by 1992 all the monarch's married children were legally separated and headed for divorce. "Great weddings," observed writer Valerie Grove, "too bad about the marriages."

Half the country now believed that by the end of the twentieth century the monarchy would be finished and that Britain would not suffer. The press reflected the public's sentiments. "Charles will not be King," predicted the Sun Sun, "Di will not be Queen." The Daily Mirror Daily Mirror said: "The latest royal mess is making a mockery of the monarchy. Unchecked, that mockery will destroy the monarchy itself." said: "The latest royal mess is making a mockery of the monarchy. Unchecked, that mockery will destroy the monarchy itself."

Measured against people's expectations, Charles had fallen alarmingly far. Even Tory members of Parliament debated his right to the throne. Fearing a const.i.tutional crisis, he called his friend Arnold, Lord Goodman for advice. The eminent lawyer said that a divorce would not prevent him from becoming King-but a second marriage would. So Charles said he did not intend to remarry. He maintained stoutly, "I will be the next King."

The separation had international repercussions. In Germany wax museums moved the mannequins of Charles and Diana suitably apart. In Australia the government dropped all references to Queen Elizabeth II from its oath of allegiance. In Britain Labor MP Anthony Benn introduced a bill to abolish the monarchy. He suggested replacing the Queen with an elected president, separating church and state, and giving Wales and Scotland their own Parliaments. The Benn bill was never debated, but people who cared about monarchy were concerned.

From the United States, Prince Philip's onetime Hollywood press agent offered his services. Henry Rogers of Rogers & Cowan had orchestrated the publicity for Philip's 1966 trip to Los Angeles. The two men had met on the recommendation of Philip's Hollywood pal Frank Sinatra, a client of Rogers & Cowan. Now, twenty-six years later, Rogers offered to come out of retirement to help again. Philip thanked him in a handwritten letter from Windsor Castle: Dear Henry, Dear Henry,Life appears to have changed out of all recognition. Whoever first said, "It never rains, but it pours" made a very profound statement!! So much happened at once and as bad luck would have it, it all took place against the sombre backdrop of the recession. In spite of the dramatic media, we have had tremendous support through the mail from people of all kinds. I have every hope that things will get better this year. In spite of the dramatic media, we have had tremendous support through the mail from people of all kinds. I have every hope that things will get better this year. But thank you all the same for generously offering your help.... But thank you all the same for generously offering your help....

The royal family appeared calm and tried to hold firm, especially the Queen Mother. She knew the country had survived bad kings, mad kings, weak kings, dumb kings, h.o.m.os.e.xual kings, even foreign-born kings. At the age of ninety-two she was not so acute as she had once been, but she was determined to help Charles, her favorite grandchild, achieve what she saw as his destiny. For she was a king maker. In her time she had rammed steel down the spine of her weak husband and made him look strong to his subjects. Now she longed to do the same for her beleaguered grandson.

But she opposed divorce-so much so that she would not let Charles move in with her after the separation as he waited for his apartment in St. James's Palace to be renovated. The Queen Mother had been reared during an era when divorce spelled social disgrace, and she remained convinced that the only real threat to the monarchy was divorce. She tolerated all kinds of deviant behavior in her family, from alcoholism to drug addiction. But she did not countenance divorce. She said that was the death blow to family stability, which she felt the House of Windsor must represent to survive. She resisted attending Princess Anne's second wedding in Scotland because she did not want to pay tribute to another divorce in the royal family. Despite her reservations, she eventually relented.

She dismissed those who said the monarchy was in crisis because royalty had stepped off the throne to marry commoners like Sarah Ferguson and Diana Spencer. As the most exemplary commoner of them all, the Queen Mother naturally disagreed with that. She said the problem was divorce and that Sarah and Diana were "unsuitable" because they were the children of divorce.

Both Sarah and Diana had grown up with mothers who had run off from their homes and abandoned their families to seek happiness with other men. Neither Sarah nor Diana had seen a marriage grow into a lifetime partners.h.i.+p that overcame adversity and boredom. Instead both had watched their mothers place personal satisfaction before duty and responsibility. To the Queen Mother, those were the hallmarks of royalty. Now the daughters were following their mothers' wayward footsteps by breaking their marriage vows. In doing so, they were betraying crown and country.

"You take in two girls from broken homes," the Queen had said, "and look how they repay you."

The Queen Mother agreed. She blamed Diana especially for allowing the world to see the "sordid" misery of her marriage. The Queen Mother had used that word in talking to her grandson. Charles had warned her about his wife's "instability" and her "confounded unreasonableness," but the Queen Mother was unprepared for Diana's unholy disclosures.

"The bulimia... the business of overeating and then vomiting-that thoroughly revolted her," said one of the Queen Mother's friends. "The image of the future Queen of England riding the porcelain chariot was, well... I'm afraid she couldn't get beyond the picture of the Princess of Wales crouched over a toilet bowl purging herself of puddings by throwing up."

"A traitor entered our house," the Queen Mother told Ruth Fermoy, her lady-in-waiting. Lady Fermoy agreed, but sadly-the "traitor" was her own granddaughter.

"Flesh and blood and family count for little when you're a royalist," said Ruth Fermoy's G.o.ddaughter, "and Ruth was a royalist to her core. She turned on Diana when she separated from Charles, whom she absolutely adored. She said it was the saddest day in her life. Despite what has been written about her and the Queen Mother engineering the marriage, Ruth told me that she didn't want Diana to marry Charles. She had warned her at the time of what she would encounter by joining the royal family. But Diana was helplessly in love and a.s.sured Grandma Ruth, as she called her, that she wanted to dedicate her life to Charles....

"Diana mended things a little before Ruth died-but just. I was there when she visited Ruth's flat in Eaton Square for the last time, and I felt sad for her when she left because Ruth said she still didn't forgive Diana for what she had done.

"But then neither did Diana's mother. She [Frances Shand Kydd] told me, and these were her exact words: 'I know Charles has hurt Diana terribly, but I love him and I refuse to take sides.' That's from Diana's own mother.

"And as for the Queen Mother... well, she unleashed her dogs, and it's been b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l for Diana ever since."

In public, the Queen Mother, who avoided any unpleasantness, never snarled, barked, or growled. For that, she "unleashed her dogs," who were the emissaries she designated to communicate her opinions to the press. She, like her daughter, insisted on maintaining the myth of never granting interviews, although both talked to favored writers. After the Prime Minister's announcement about the separation, Lord Wyatt stepped forward to comment on the behavior of the Princess of Wales.

He was identified as "a close personal friend of the Queen Mother," so readers of the Sunday Times Sunday Times were expected to know whose sentiments were being expressed: were expected to know whose sentiments were being expressed: Princess Diana could never have won a university place, but she won a prince and failed to keep him. She is addicted to the limelight her marriage brought. It's like a drug; to feed her craving she will do anything, even if it meant destroying the throne she solemnly swore to uphold. Princess Diana could never have won a university place, but she won a prince and failed to keep him. She is addicted to the limelight her marriage brought. It's like a drug; to feed her craving she will do anything, even if it meant destroying the throne she solemnly swore to uphold.

Within weeks Diana was portrayed as a woman more sinned against than sinning. A transcript of her husband's intimate telephone conversation with his mistress was published on January 12, 1993. The secret recording, known as Camillagate, was made on December 18, 1989, a few days before the secret recording of Diana's telephone conversation with James Gilbey, known as Squidgygate. Both conversations had been picked up by men, both hobbyists who claimed they scanned the airwaves in their spare time like ham radio operators. But those who tend to conspiracies hinted at something more sinister: they said that publis.h.i.+ng transcripts three years after the conversations were recorded suggested more than mere coincidence. They speculated that the furtive interceptions had been carried out by Britain's domestic intelligence agency, MI5, to embarra.s.s the royal family and destabilize the monarchy.

The embarra.s.sment was profound. In the words of one writer, the public was "well and truly shocked" to hear the prospective Supreme Governor of the Church of England declare his pa.s.sion for another man's wife. "I want to feel my way along you, all over you and up and down you and in and out... particularly in and out," Charles told Camilla. "I'll just live inside your trousers or something. It would be much easier...."

During the late night conversation, Charles proposed living inside Camilla as "a Tampax," which she found delightful. "Oh, what a wonderful idea," she exclaimed. He paused. "My luck to be chucked down a lavatory and go on forever swirling around the top, never going down." Sounding enthralled, she said she wanted him day and night... "desperately, desperately, desperately...."

The day the transcript was published, reporters surrounded Camilla's home. When she heard why they were there, she was stunned. "I can't believe it. I can't believe it," she said. "I must speak to my husband. He is on his way home." She closed the door and took the phone off the hook.

"6 Min Love Tape Could Cost Charles Throne" shrieked the Sun, Sun, but the but the London Evening Standard London Evening Standard asked, "So What's Wrong with a King Who Can Talk Dirty?" Charles said he was "appalled" by the publication of his private conversation and called friends to apologize for embarra.s.sing them. They deplored publication of a private conversation that was taped, duplicated, sold, and printed in transcript form. "You might argue Charles and Camilla deserve the embarra.s.sment," said his biographer Penny Junor, "but surely not their children." asked, "So What's Wrong with a King Who Can Talk Dirty?" Charles said he was "appalled" by the publication of his private conversation and called friends to apologize for embarra.s.sing them. They deplored publication of a private conversation that was taped, duplicated, sold, and printed in transcript form. "You might argue Charles and Camilla deserve the embarra.s.sment," said his biographer Penny Junor, "but surely not their children."

Already nine-year-old Wills had been reported fighting with cla.s.smates at school, where he shoved a boy's head down the toilet. Deeply depressed by his parents' quarreling, he locked himself in the bathroom for hours, and his grades slumped. His younger brother, Harry, was seen sneaking cigarettes at school. Both children sucked their thumbs and wet their beds. Thomas Parker Bowles, the teenage son of Camilla and Andrew, was arrested for possession of drugs. He was not threatened with suspension from Oxford because he was off campus when apprehended by police for possession of cannabis and ecstasy pills. To escape the gibes of students, he began calling himself Tom Bowles. He did not admit that his middle name was Charles in honor of his G.o.dfather, the Prince of Wales.

Although the tabloid press condemned Charles as a knave, he found compa.s.sion in unexpected quarters: Peter McKay wrote in the London Evening Standard London Evening Standard that the six-minute phone call was "silly, touching and filthy... [but it] made me think better of Charles.... He comes out of it as a daft romantic, dying to leap under the duvet, fond of terrible s.e.x jokes." The novelist Fay Weldon said she thought the transcript was moving. "What it's got to do with Charles being King I don't know. My opinion of him goes up no end because it shows he has some proper emotions...." that the six-minute phone call was "silly, touching and filthy... [but it] made me think better of Charles.... He comes out of it as a daft romantic, dying to leap under the duvet, fond of terrible s.e.x jokes." The novelist Fay Weldon said she thought the transcript was moving. "What it's got to do with Charles being King I don't know. My opinion of him goes up no end because it shows he has some proper emotions...."

But most of the country was disgusted, and the next time he appeared in public, he was booed. At an official engagement, a man in the crowd shouted: "Have you no shame?" Opinion polls showed that only one in three Britons felt Charles was ent.i.tled to become King. Uncharacteristically, the English treated him like a politician, who could be deprived of his position because of his negative image. His friend and former equerry, Nicholas Soames, hastened to spell out the hereditary principle involved in succession. He explained that Charles's right to the throne did not depend on his popularity: barring abdication or an act of Parliament, Charles was not disposable. "The throne is his duty, his obligation, his destiny," said Soames. "It's not something he seeks, but it will be his.... Twelve hundred years of British history are not going to be overturned by Mr. Murdoch's republican press, engaged in a circulation war. The heir to the throne will be the next King, and that's all there is to it."

Another close friend said: "It was a terrible moment, the worst moment of his life.... He wanted to be taken seriously. He sincerely believed he had important things to say. And in six minutes of private conversation, a conversation that was n.o.body's business but his and the woman to whom he was speaking, his reputation was ruined.... He really didn't deserve to be destroyed so publicly and so cruelly."

Even the far-off Fiji Islands were upset. The government announced it would discontinue celebrating Charles's birthday as a national holiday because he no longer represented greatness to them. In Australia the Prime Minister's wife would not curtsy to him, and the Deputy Prime Minister suggested that he not be invited to open the Olympics in the year 2000. "Let's have Prince William do it-anybody but his father."

If Charles had chosen one act, short of child molestation, he could not have alienated his future subjects more. Through The Prince's Trust he had established one of the country's biggest charities to benefit disadvantaged children, but no amount of grants to inner-city youngsters could make him look princely now. As his biographer Anthony Holden put it, "No one listens to do-gooding sermons from a man who is two-timing the world's most desirable woman."

Shaken by the crisis, Charles summoned six friends to Sandringham to advise him. Afterward one man was dispatched to tell the Telegraph Telegraph that the Prince was prepared to make any sacrifice to insure his succession to the throne. The headline on the next day's front page: "Prince of Wales Chooses the Celibate Life." that the Prince was prepared to make any sacrifice to insure his succession to the throne. The headline on the next day's front page: "Prince of Wales Chooses the Celibate Life."

The attempt to win back public confidence did not work. Nothing could stop the sn.i.g.g.e.ring jokes. "That'll be one pack of Charlie's," sang a London grocery clerk, ringing up a box of sanitary napkins. A cartoonist drew Charles's face as an egg cup with yolk dribbling down his nose. Greeting cards appeared with his caricature: "For your birthday, I'd like to treat you to a Chuck and Di margarita. It's cold, frosty, and it's on the rocks." The Palace finally intervened to prevent a safe-s.e.x poster from appearing on British billboards. The proposed advertis.e.m.e.nt had shown a wedding picture of the Prince and Princess of Wales kissing on the balcony of Buckingham Palace in front of huge crowds. The caption read "Appearances Can Be Deceptive. Use a Johnny Condom." A spokesman for the British Safety Council resented the Palace interference: "We really could not care less what the royals think," said Fiona Harcombe. "The benefits far outweigh the offense it might cause to the Queen."

Charles was humiliated. "His Royal Highness didn't want to leave the grounds," recalled one of his security guards, "but his friends encouraged him not to retreat. 'Be seen helping people,' they advised. But he was scared. We saw it in his eyes. Like a rabbit in the clamp of a trap."

When Charles visited the scene of an oil tanker spill off Scotland's Shetland Islands, he imposed a "no children" rule. His aide explained: "They tend to ask awkward questions." The Prince arrived looking drawn and worried. His thinning hair was combed to conceal his bald spot, and he appeared stooped and defeated. He avoided the press as he tramped through oil-soaked fields, and he strained to make small talk with farmers whose fields and crops were buried in gunk. Later, at a midmorning reception, he pa.s.sed on orange juice and ordered a Scotch whiskey. "We asked HRH [Philip] to visit the oil spill as president of the World Wildlife Fund," said the WWF's former communications director, "but Charles's staff didn't want him [Philip] there.... They needed the sympathetic coverage for the Prince of Wales. But the WWF is the most prestigious conservation organization in the world, and we, too, needed a presence.... We finally worked it out so both of them would go and pursue separate agendas. Charles said beforehand he would not respond to the press, but Philip agreed to answer questions. After the first one, though, he lost his temper."

A television reporter had asked Philip whether his visit had been overshadowed by headlines about his son's relations.h.i.+p with Camilla Parker Bowles.

"It's nothing to do with that," snapped Philip. Growing angry, he wheeled on the reporter. "I might have guessed someone like you would ask that question. Who do you represent?"

The reporter replied: "ITN [Independent Television News]."

"Figures," said Philip, storming off.

The Duke of Edinburgh complained to the WWF communications director that the question was rude and boorish. "The ITN reporter wasn't disrespectful, just straightforward," said the WWF employee. "But the lack of deference shown in posing the question in the first place was not lost on HRH...."

That lack of knee-bending deference jolted the country in May 1993. More than five hundred people streamed into the Queen Elizabeth II Conference Centre in London to listen to a day-long debate by royalists and republicans on the future of the monarchy. The forum mirrored the mood of national anxiety as ninety speakers a.s.sembled. They discussed the Crown and why, or even whether, it continues to matter in twentieth-century England.

"Something has died," said Professor Stephen Haseler, "and that something is the enchantment of the British people for the monarchy." Historian Elizabeth Longford disagreed: she argued in favor of Prince Charles becoming King. But playwright David Hare recommended abolis.h.i.+ng the monarchy because he viewed it as the fountainhead of falseness and sn.o.bbery. In between was Lord Rees-Mogg, former editor of the Times, Times, who called himself a royalist but acknowledged the need for const.i.tutional reform. He observed that an inst.i.tution that had survived since the sixth century could be dislodged only by war or revolution. Because neither option was desirable for the country, he urged his audience to believe in the monarchy's ability to adapt. who called himself a royalist but acknowledged the need for const.i.tutional reform. He observed that an inst.i.tution that had survived since the sixth century could be dislodged only by war or revolution. Because neither option was desirable for the country, he urged his audience to believe in the monarchy's ability to adapt.

But the Queen moved like moss. Less than three years after agreeing to pay taxes (on her public income, not not on her private investments), she decided to fly commercial. By not using one of the eleven jets in the Queen's Flight, she saved taxpayers about $3 million on one trip. "Her Majesty took over the entire first-cla.s.s cabin," said an Air New Zealand flight attendant, "but that's as it should be. After all, she is the Queen of England, not some bicycle monarchy." on her private investments), she decided to fly commercial. By not using one of the eleven jets in the Queen's Flight, she saved taxpayers about $3 million on one trip. "Her Majesty took over the entire first-cla.s.s cabin," said an Air New Zealand flight attendant, "but that's as it should be. After all, she is the Queen of England, not some bicycle monarchy."

But the Queen flew commercial only once. For comfort and convenience, she preferred the Queen's Flight. So instead she decided to economize on household expenses. She received $70 million a year in public funding for her travel expenses, her security costs, and the upkeep of her eight residences. She started tr.i.m.m.i.n.g costs by eliminating her employees' traditional benefits: her chauffeurs, who earned $9,000 a year, had to start paying for their own shoe repair. Servants, paid $8,000 a year, no longer received free bars of soap. And the $60,000 a year courtiers who accompanied the Queen on foreign tours could no longer expect to receive a free suit. "They will receive a cash stipend in exchange," the Palace announced. "We want to make things work better and more efficiently."