The Royals Part 25

Although she looked like a winner in the media, the Princess knew she had been defeated. Most of her staff had resigned-her chef, her equerry, her dresser, her chauffeur, her detective. She struck back by firing her butler, Harold Brown, who had been with her since her marriage to Charles and stayed with her after the separation. Now she insisted he leave "as soon as possible" and give up his grace-and-favor apartment in Kensington Palace. When Princess Michael of Kent offered to hire the tall, courtly butler, who had spent his adult life in royal service, Diana said no.

Disturbed by her behavior, the Prince of Wales sent for the man. "I'm so sorry for what she's done to you," he said, "but I can't interfere... I can't even take you on myself. But I want you to know that I know what has been done. And the Queen has been informed about what the Princess has done."

The butler was eventually hired by Princess Margaret, who told him to keep his rent-free apartment. "The Princess of Wales dare not tell Princess Margaret whom she can employ," said a member of Margaret's staff. "After all, Princess Margaret is royal by birth. Diana is royal by marriage. There's a big difference. Even though Diana is senior to Margaret in terms of protocol, that's just on paper. That isn't the way it is. Princess Margaret is the Queen's sister, and Diana can't pull rank on someone who's really royal, like she can on Princess Michael of Kent."

By then Diana's royal duties had been curtailed and her husband had rejected her offer to reconcile. He said he would rather immolate himself than live with her again. She felt ostracized by the royal family and hounded by the press. So she decided to withdraw from public life. On December 3, 1993, again in tears, she publicly announced that she wanted privacy.

"When I started my public life twelve years ago," she told workers for the Headway National Head Injuries a.s.sociation in a luncheon speech, "I understood that the media might be interested in what I did... but I was not aware of how overwhelming that attention would become, nor the extent to which it would affect both my public duties and my personal life, in a manner that has been hard to bear." Then she dropped her bomb: "I will be reducing the extent of the public life I have led so far."

The next day a tabloid screamed: "Ab-Di-Cation."

Her admirers bemoaned her withdrawal from public life as a tragedy for the country; her detractors disparaged her as a cunning actress who had milked the public's sympathy. Her royal retreat created reams of editorial commentary. Even the Irish Times Irish Times sounded wistful. In the United States, writer Calvin Trillin begged her to reconsider in an amusing bit of doggerel: sounded wistful. In the United States, writer Calvin Trillin begged her to reconsider in an amusing bit of doggerel: "Oh, Di," repentant tabloids cry, "Oh, Di," repentant tabloids cry,"Don't leave the role you occupy.For we can quickly rectifyThe misbehavior you decry. We need you, Di. We'll tell you why: We need you, Di. We'll tell you why:The Prince is not the sort of guyWho causes lots of folks to buyOur papers. So we all must tryTo get along together, Di.So come now, be a sweetie-pie,We promise we'll no longer pry,Nor pay some sleazeball on the slyTo photograph your upper thigh.So promise us it's not goodbye.Di?"

TWENTY-ONE.

Members of the British royal family were starting to look like impostors: they wore jewels, dressed up in gold braid, and rode in carriages. But they did not behave like royalty.

They tried to appear brave and true, but they were not even good-hearted. They did not understand royalty's obligation to behave with probity, to bestow kindness, to set a good example. The traditions of royalty pa.s.sed on by literature and by art seemed to have bypa.s.sed them. They had forgotten the legends of King Arthur and his s.h.i.+ning Knights of the Round Table.

Many of their loyal subjects, once enthralled by royalty, became disenchanted. Some became indifferent, some turned faintly negative, some were decidedly hostile. The public's respect, even reverence, for the Crown had eroded severely. Obeisance was no longer automatic. Only the Queen Mother, bobbing along in her feathers and veils, seemed capable of inspiring genuine affection.

The Queen, who had reluctantly agreed to pay taxes, trim the Civil List, open Buckingham Palace, and give up the Britannia, Britannia, was barely accorded customary courtesies. In a breach of civility, she was not consulted when Britain's National Blood Service removed the crown from its insignia. Her representative was mooned in New Zealand by a Maori protester, who bared his tattooed b.u.t.tocks and spat on the ground. And in South Africa she was asked by the government to return the Cullinan diamonds, which had been presented to her great-grandfather Edward VII. was barely accorded customary courtesies. In a breach of civility, she was not consulted when Britain's National Blood Service removed the crown from its insignia. Her representative was mooned in New Zealand by a Maori protester, who bared his tattooed b.u.t.tocks and spat on the ground. And in South Africa she was asked by the government to return the Cullinan diamonds, which had been presented to her great-grandfather Edward VII.

The royal family was sinking in its own muck, and their problems were as unpleasant as rotting possums under the country's front porch. The press began fuming. London's Sunday Times Sunday Times summed it up for antiroyalists: "Gone With the Windsors." summed it up for antiroyalists: "Gone With the Windsors." The New York Times The New York Times was equally pun-ridden: "Windsors and Losers." was equally pun-ridden: "Windsors and Losers."

Monarchists looking for a morality play to guide them had been shoved into a lurid soap opera, complete with illicit s.e.x, phone s.e.x, foot s.e.x, and, according to Charles's valet, garden s.e.x. The valet, who sold his secrets to a tabloid, a.s.serted that he had found the gra.s.s-stained pajamas the Prince had worn during a romp in the Highgrove gardens with his mistress.

The media, once monarchy's obedient servant, had become the master. So many rumors were circulating that the Palace broke its usual stance of "No comment" and began responding to the most salacious gossip. When scuttleb.u.t.t persisted about the health of Prince Andrew, courtiers denied that he was HIV-positive.

"Our stand on the rumors has been constant," a Palace official told the Sun Sun's royal correspondent. "Any suggestion that the Duke of York has AIDS is utter rubbish.... He is in command of servicemen, and there is no way he would be allowed to continue his duties if there was any question about his health and fitness."

The rumors arose after Andrew's wife, Sarah Ferguson, had been tested for AIDS three times. Her previous drug use and her continued promiscuity with drug users raised concern about what she might have transmitted to her husband. His closest friends worried but said nothing to him. "We wouldn't dare," said a woman friend. "And we certainly would say nothing derogatory about Sarah. He won't hear a word against her."

Four months after the Palace denied that Andrew had AIDS, he resigned from the navy. He said that as a single father he needed to spend more time with his children. Others suggested the Lieutenant Commander was resigning after seventeen years because he was not qualified for promotion to commander. The navy quickly issued a statement saying that Andrew was a "highly competent and reliable officer."

Traditionally, military service validates male members of the royal family as manly and patriotic. The thirty-four-year-old Duke of York had served in the Royal Navy like his father, a decorated navy veteran of World War II, and his grandfather Prince Albert, who took part in the Battle of Jutland in World War I and later became King George VI. Andrew had distinguished himself as a helicopter pilot during battle in the Falklands. With his resignation from the military, no longer was a prince of royal blood serving in Her Majesty's forces.

His younger brother, Edward, had joined the marines, but after ninety days in uniform, he quit. His resignation disturbed his family greatly. His mother implored him to reconsider, saying he would no longer be allowed to wear a military uniform on ceremonial occasions. His sister, Anne, feared that he would be branded a quitter and a weakling. But Edward, then twenty-two years old, said he could not continue with the tough commando training. His father, honorary Captain General of the Royal Marines, shouted at him to pull himself together to spare the royal family embarra.s.sment. The young Prince broke down and cried for hours. But the next day he resigned his commission. The headline in the New York Post: New York Post: "The Weeping Wimp of Windsor." "The Weeping Wimp of Windsor."

Prince Philip wrote to the marine Commandant, expressing his dissatisfaction. "This is naturally very disappointing," he wrote, "but I can't help feeling that the blaze of publicity did not make things any easier for him. I think he now has to face a very difficult problem of readjustment."

When Philip's personal letter was published in a newspaper, the Queen sued the paper and won damages, but by then the country knew of the father's dashed hopes for his son. A comedian on British television announced: "Rumors abound that Prince Philip fathered an unwanted son who has threatened to embarra.s.s him ever since. [Long pause.] His name is Edward."

When the young Prince decided to become an actor and joined Andrew Lloyd Webber's acting company, he was further ridiculed. Columnist Taki complained in the Spectator Spectator that Edward "is paid out of the public purse to pursue a theatrical career and a.s.sorted bachelors." The hint of the Prince's h.o.m.os.e.xuality, previously only whispered, was now hinted at in print. The press snidely characterized him as "the Queen's youngest son, a confirmed bachelor." The s.e.xual innuendo became a j.a.ping bit of film dialogue in the Australian movie that Edward "is paid out of the public purse to pursue a theatrical career and a.s.sorted bachelors." The hint of the Prince's h.o.m.os.e.xuality, previously only whispered, was now hinted at in print. The press snidely characterized him as "the Queen's youngest son, a confirmed bachelor." The s.e.xual innuendo became a j.a.ping bit of film dialogue in the Australian movie Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, when one transvest.i.te asks another transvest.i.te: when one transvest.i.te asks another transvest.i.te: "Can the child of an old queen turn out all right?"

"Well, look at Prince Charles."

"Yes, but there's still a question about Prince Edward."

Whether an outrageous slur or a sly truth telling, the insinuation of h.o.m.os.e.xuality was treated as fact. When Prince William enrolled at Eton, the headmaster censored an article in the school magazine that claimed the royal family was "full of h.o.m.os.e.xuals." He said he did not want to upset the student Prince. But the insinuation resurfaced in The New Yorker, The New Yorker, where novelist Julian Barnes wrote of "the seemingly unmarriageable Edward." In a lecture at the Smithsonian, historian David Cannadine opined: "The Queen is worried that Edward is where novelist Julian Barnes wrote of "the seemingly unmarriageable Edward." In a lecture at the Smithsonian, historian David Cannadine opined: "The Queen is worried that Edward is not not divorced. She thinks he's not normal." Writer Christopher Hitchens said in an interview, "Gay friends of mine refer to Prince Edward as Dishcloth Doris. 'Skirts down,' they'll shout, 'here comes Dishcloth Doris.' " Gore Vidal later corrected Hitchens. "He's not Dishcloth Doris," said Vidal. "He's Dockyard Doris." When gossipist Nigel Dempster wrote in the divorced. She thinks he's not normal." Writer Christopher Hitchens said in an interview, "Gay friends of mine refer to Prince Edward as Dishcloth Doris. 'Skirts down,' they'll shout, 'here comes Dishcloth Doris.' " Gore Vidal later corrected Hitchens. "He's not Dishcloth Doris," said Vidal. "He's Dockyard Doris." When gossipist Nigel Dempster wrote in the Daily Mail Daily Mail that Edward had a "touching friends.h.i.+p" with a male actor, the young Prince finally responded-angrily. During a visit to New York City, he snapped at reporters and said, "I am that Edward had a "touching friends.h.i.+p" with a male actor, the young Prince finally responded-angrily. During a visit to New York City, he snapped at reporters and said, "I am not not gay." gay."

When the Queen's thirty-one-year-old son started dating Sophie Rhys-Jones, their romance was disparaged by one newspaper as "arranged for public consumption." The tabloids speculated that the tall, blond Prince and his attractive girlfriend were decoys put forward by the Palace to divert attention from the rest of the family. Edward, always p.r.i.c.kly about criticism, faxed London's news organizations and demanded that reporters "leave me and my girlfriend alone and give us privacy." The Queen obliged by letting it be known she had given permission for Sophie to spend nights with Edward in his apartment at Buckingham Palace. The Archdeacon of York scolded Her Majesty for allowing the couple to live in sin. "We still look to the royal family to set an example," he said, urging the Windsors to return to the values of "no s.e.x before marriage." The Queen ignored the clergyman, and Prince Philip called him a pompous a.s.s.

In June of 1994 the Prince of Wales yanked the loose thread of monarchy and watched in dismay as the ancient tapestry began unraveling. He admitted on television that he had been unfaithful to his wife. But, despite his adultery, he a.s.serted that he would still be King. "All my life," he said, "I have been brought up to... carry out my duty."

The television interview conducted by Jonathan Dimbleby had been calculated by the Prince as his t.i.t for her tat. His big bow-wow journalist would m.u.f.fle the tinny arf of her tabloid lapdog. While Andrew Morton's book had put the camel's nose under the tent, Jonathan Dimbleby's book brought the tent cras.h.i.+ng down. In presenting his version of his marriage, Charles had ignored proverbial wisdom: "If you seek revenge, dig two graves."

But Charles discarded the advice of his family, his friends, and his mistress, who had warned that nothing good could come of his candor. His beloved grandmother said she would have nothing to do with the project. But his private secretary, Commander Richard Aylard, had played to his pride and his vanity by arguing that he had to reclaim his status. "Put your side of the case, sir," he said. Aylard convinced him that his best chance was to cooperate with the journalist and give him unprecedented access to personal letters and diaries. The zealous equerry was determined to help the Prince get even with the Princess. He felt that Dimbleby would be the most devoted vessel-and va.s.sal. Aylard envisioned a one-two punch, starting with a flattering doc.u.mentary, Charles: The Private Man, The Public Role, Charles: The Private Man, The Public Role, followed by a laudatory book, followed by a laudatory book, The Prince of Wales. The Prince of Wales.

In the television interview Charles tried to prove his worth as a statesman by tackling the touchy subjects of religion, politics, and s.e.x. He presented himself as qualified to become philosopher-king: an Oxbridge graduate, artist, minesweeper skipper, organic farmer, businessman, philanthropist, sportsman, amba.s.sador, humanitarian.

He complained about the media and "the level of intrusion, persistent, endless, carping, pontificating, criticising, examining, inventing the soap opera constantly, trying to turn everyone into celebrities."

He also spoke about the monarch's role as Defender of the Faith, saying he would prefer not representing one religion, but rather all religions. Most memorable, though, was his admission of infidelity.

"Gobsmacked," said the tabloids after hearing the Prince of Wales own up to adultery on television. While they pounded him, his supporters praised him. Historian Elizabeth Longford applauded his honesty, but most people were just plain appalled. The Sun Sun set up a "You the Jury" telephone poll and reported that two-thirds of those who called said they did not want Charles to become King-ever. The set up a "You the Jury" telephone poll and reported that two-thirds of those who called said they did not want Charles to become King-ever. The Daily Mirror Daily Mirror ran an editorial on the front page: "He is not the first royal to be unfaithful. Far from it. But he is the first to appear before 25 million of his subjects to confess." ran an editorial on the front page: "He is not the first royal to be unfaithful. Far from it. But he is the first to appear before 25 million of his subjects to confess."

The Scout a.s.sociation considered altering its pledge of duty to G.o.d and the monarchy. "We extol the virtues of honesty, integrity, and the sanct.i.ty of marriage," said an a.s.sociation spokesman. "But Prince Charles does not represent those virtues." Jonathan Dimbleby defended him on the radio as a deeply spiritual man. "He kneels to pray every night," said the biographer. Unmoved, one listener called in to say that kneeling down to pray is easy. "It's getting up to behave well that takes stamina."

The Queen had insisted on an advance viewing. She worried about what Charles would say on television, especially after his comment weeks before, citing the Scandinavian monarchies as "grander, more pompous, more hard to approach than we are." Now she watched the two-and-a-half-hour doc.u.mentary without much comment. She shot the equerry a look when Charles recommended hiring out Britain's army to other countries like rent-a-cops. She raised her eyebrows when he complained about his staff's overworking him, and she sighed when he bad-mouthed her staff. "They drive me bonkers," Charles said of the Queen's courtiers.

Philip reportedly exploded when he saw the doc.u.mentary. "Oh, G.o.d," he said, listening to the interview. He muttered something about his son's brain being sucked dry. Then he added caustically, "Maybe he's the 'missing link.' " Philip's comment referred to the unresolved mystery of the Piltdown Man, supposed to be the unknown connection between humans and apes.

"It would not have been appropriate then," said a man in the room, "to repeat to the Duke what he had once said: 'Every generation gets precisely the younger generation it deserves.' " The man was accustomed to Philip's outbursts. By way of defense, he said, "There's a saying that when your only tool is a hammer, everything looks like a nail."

The Queen was heard to say that she thought the interview had been "ill-advised." She appeared to disapprove of Charles's redefining the monarch's role as "Defender of Faith" rather than "Defender of the Faith." Charles had said that omitting "the" would embrace all religions, not simply Anglicans. "I belong to a hereditary monarchy," he said. "I understand the parameters, but I'm prepared to push it now and then because I feel strongly about things." His mother, who had forbidden him to attend the Pope's Ma.s.s during a visit to Rome, was not comfortable with her son's idiosyncratic att.i.tude toward the Church of England. His father was convinced that his forty-five-year-old son had just set the record for stupidity.

The Palace did not comment on the interview, but almost everyone else did. Time Time headlined it as "Charles's Cheatin' Heart." And headlined it as "Charles's Cheatin' Heart." And Newsweek Newsweek reported it as "a bad heir day." reported it as "a bad heir day." Newsweek Newsweek also characterized the doc.u.mentary as "bad s.e.x: painfully tedious foreplay followed by a lightning-quick climax." The also characterized the doc.u.mentary as "bad s.e.x: painfully tedious foreplay followed by a lightning-quick climax." The Daily Mail Daily Mail headlined its story "Charles: When I Was Unfaithful," while the headlined its story "Charles: When I Was Unfaithful," while the Sun Sun said, "Di Told You So." One cartoonist drew the Prince of Wales in bed, grinning foolishly with his crown askew. Sitting between two women, he had his arms wrapped around both. The caption: "The Lyin' King." Another cartoon showed him standing before two stone tablets containing the Ten Commandments: he was scratching out the Sixth Commandment-"Thou Shalt Not Commit (nor admit) Adultery." said, "Di Told You So." One cartoonist drew the Prince of Wales in bed, grinning foolishly with his crown askew. Sitting between two women, he had his arms wrapped around both. The caption: "The Lyin' King." Another cartoon showed him standing before two stone tablets containing the Ten Commandments: he was scratching out the Sixth Commandment-"Thou Shalt Not Commit (nor admit) Adultery."

The Queen's former private secretary sighed. "In time it will fade," Martin, Lord Charteris told writer Noreen Taylor. "People will forgive. There is an awful lot to be said for honesty." The courtier added sadly that this wasn't the first time the monarchy had gone through troubled times. "But the Queen is enough of a realist," he said, "to know there is nothing but to sit it out."

Sitting was her specialty. So she sat for weeks, dreading the biography that was to follow her son's television interview. Unfortunately the book was published on the eve of her departure for Russia. This was the first trip by a British monarch to that country since Edward VII had visited in 1908. Ten years after that, when the Queen's grandfather George V declined to send the navy to save his cousins, the Bolsheviks murdered the Czar and his family in a particularly gruesome crime. After the Russian Revolution, the British government turned down all invitations for a state visit to Moscow on the grounds that the communists had killed the monarch's family. Eventually some members of the royal family did visit the Soviet Union, but the Queen was not allowed by her government to go. Until now. The British government finally gave her permission after Russia's difficult transition from communism. She considered the trip to be the most important of her reign. But as she stood in Moscow's Red Square, extending her hand in friends.h.i.+p, she took a hit at home from her son-in that long-awaited book.

Through his approved biographer, Charles showed the Queen as a cold and uncaring mother. He said he had grown up "emotionally estranged" and craving affection that she was "unable or unwilling to offer." He depicted his father as an acid-tongued martinet and his Gordonstoun teachers as bullies. He described his estranged wife as a self-absorbed neurotic who was mentally unhinged. He said she was twisted with jealousy and temperamentally "volatile," "hysterical," "obsessive." In addition, she was p.r.o.ne to "violent mood swings," "black phases," and "bouts of gloom." He said the only reason he had married her was that his father had pressured him. The middle-aged Prince sounded like the hapless young man in the Danish ballet "The Young Man Must Marry," who was forced into marriage by his family and ended up betrothed to a girl with three heads. Through Dimbleby, Charles made it clear that Diana was nothing more than a hired womb.

His level of contempt disappointed people who expected their future King to be high-minded and big-hearted. Through Dimbleby, Charles tried to put his case forward and set right the real and imagined wrongs he felt had been done to him. But he came across as petty and small, and he offended his wife, his parents, his sister, his brothers, his children. He even managed to slight his favorite movie star, Barbra Streisand, whom he had once described as "my only pinup... devastatingly attractive and with a great deal of s.e.x appeal."

Months before, the star had serenaded him in front of twelve thousand fans in London's Wembley Arena, her first public engagement in twenty-eight years. She sang "Some Day My Prince Will Come" and told her British audience that she was particularly fond of songs about imaginary princes. "What makes it extra special is that there's a real one in the audience tonight," she said, looking flirtatiously at the royal box, where Prince Charles was sitting. He beamed. She recalled their first meeting, saying she had not been very gracious. "Who knows, if I had been nice, I might have been the first real Jewish Princess-Princess Babs!"

She imagined the newspaper headlines that might have accompanied their romance: "Blintzes Princess Plays the Palace" and "Barbra Digs Nails into Prince of Wales." Charles laughed with everyone else and looked pleased when she sang "As If We Never Said Goodbye." The audience went wild and gave her a two-minute standing ovation. She raised more than $250,000 for The Prince's Trust. Yet in the Dimbleby book, Charles said her "attractiveness has waned a little."

He made it up to the diva several months later by inviting her to Highgrove for an overnight visit. But he almost withdrew the invitation after her secretary called to make advance arrangements. She told the Prince of Wales that the star wanted only white flowers in her bedroom and for breakfast an omelette of egg whites. Charles complained to his friend Geoffrey Kent. "She sounds daft," he said. But he sat up all night with Streisand, who, he said, arrived with eight suitcases. "We discussed philosophy," he reported to friends.

In the Dimbleby book, Charles described his nanny and his mistress with the same words-"loving," "warm," "sympathetic," "gentle," and "caring"-words a child might use to describe his mother. He also admitted to three love affairs with Camilla: one before she married in 1973, the second after she had children, and the third in 1986, when he said his marriage to Diana had "irretrievably broken down."

His parents were greatly upset. "They had no idea what he was going to say," recalled a friend who had spent a weekend with the Queen and Prince Philip earlier in the summer. "I will not go into details because they did not go into details-they never do.... A mention was made in pa.s.sing about concern over a book-that's all. A book. We a.s.sumed it was James Hewitt's dreadful kiss-and-tell...." The Queen's friend waves a hand dismissively to indicate the book Princess in Love, Princess in Love, which detailed Hewitt's five-year love affair with the Princess of Wales. "But the Queen didn't seem to care about Major Hewitt's t.i.ttle-tattle. Her concern was over what Charles intended to say...." which detailed Hewitt's five-year love affair with the Princess of Wales. "But the Queen didn't seem to care about Major Hewitt's t.i.ttle-tattle. Her concern was over what Charles intended to say...."

The Prince proved that his disclosures were every bit as sensational as those sold by his servants. Violating royal precedents of restraint, he astonished even those who were accustomed to gaudy sensationalism. "A Foolish and Sorry Authorised Version," was the Guardian Guardian's opinion. The left-wing newspaper soon declared itself republican (opposed to a monarchy and committed to a republic), as did the Independent on Sunday. Independent on Sunday. The temperate The temperate Economist Economist called the monarchy "an idea whose time has pa.s.sed." Even the conservative called the monarchy "an idea whose time has pa.s.sed." Even the conservative Daily Telegraph Daily Telegraph chided the Prince for placing the book in the public domain. Columnist John Junor excoriated him as "wicked" and said he should feel "suicidal." chided the Prince for placing the book in the public domain. Columnist John Junor excoriated him as "wicked" and said he should feel "suicidal." The Was.h.i.+ngton Post The Was.h.i.+ngton Post called him "the Prince of Wails" for forgetting the cardinal rule of the monarchy: "The son never frets on the British Empire." called him "the Prince of Wails" for forgetting the cardinal rule of the monarchy: "The son never frets on the British Empire."

The Duke of Edinburgh also registered disdain-publicly. "I've never discussed private matters, and I don't think the Queen has either," he told reporters who asked for his reaction to his son's book. "I've never made any comments about any member of the family in forty years, and I'm not going to start now."

Charles's brothers and his sister criticized him for using the book to bash their parents. But the self-pitying Prince didn't see it that way. He rationalized that at his age he was ent.i.tled to a little happiness. He said he wanted to make a clean breast of it. "You'll see," he predicted. "At the end of the day, it will be for the best." This wasn't the first time he had been wrong footed.

His mistress's long-suffering husband was fed up. For years Andrew Parker Bowles had stoically endured gossip in his circle about the Prince's pa.s.sion for his wife. "Actually, some people felt he rather enjoyed it," said Jocelyn Gray, a close friend of Prince Andrew. "Having your wife bonked by the future King of England lends cachet... in some circles." Barely suppressing a grin, British writer Anthony Holden explained on American television that some old-fas.h.i.+oned English men consider it an honor to share their wives with their monarch. "Comes from the French droit du seigneur and refers to the master of the house sleeping with his servants...."

When Andrew Parker Bowles saw himself derided in the press as "the man who laid down his wife for his country," he was angry. He had held back on getting a divorce two years before only because Charles had asked him to wait. The Prince had said that after his own separation he didn't think the monarchy could take another marriage scandal. "I'm afraid I've c.o.c.ked up things a bit," Charles said apologetically. So his mistress's husband, who was also his friend and former aide, agreed not to start legal proceedings that might embarra.s.s the royal family.

As Lieutenant Colonel Commanding the Household Cavalry, Andrew Parker Bowles held the honorary position of Silverstick-in-Waiting, which entailed accompanying the Queen on ceremonial occasions. When she opened Parliament, he preceded her walking backwards and carrying a silver stick. Even after his love affair with Princess Anne in 1970, he had remained close to the royal family, particularly the Queen Mother. But after Charles made him nationally known as a cuckold, he felt he had no choice. "I can't keep on living someone else's life," he said. Although a devout Roman Catholic, he resolved to seek a divorce.

The year before, Andrew and Camilla Parker Bowles had celebrated their twentieth wedding anniversary with a big party at their country estate. Some of those invited had extended discreet hospitality over the years whenever one or the other wanted to entertain a lover. These same friends, part of Prince Charles's hunting and shooting circle, now professed surprise when the Parker Bowleses announced their plans to divorce. "We have grown apart to such an extent that... there is little of common interest between us," read the couple's statement. Their divorce was granted in January 1995, and less than a year later Andrew Parker Bowles remarried. Camilla sold their house and bought one closer to Charles.

Diana appeared unfazed by the divorce of her husband's mistress. She smiled at photographers as she made her early morning visit to her new gym. But away from the cameras, she seethed. She confided in the Daily Mail Daily Mail's royal correspondent, Richard Kay, that she considered the Parker Bowleses' divorce part of a "grand scheme" to force her out of the public life she had gradually resumed. She worried about Camilla's influence on her children. She fretted about "enemies" out to get her. "They" wanted to harm her. She feared her phones were tapped at Kensington Palace, so she had her lines swept electronically. She talked of a "whispering campaign" against her conducted by friends of Charles such as Nicholas Soames and members of the Prince's staff at St. James's Palace.

Diana had summoned the Daily Mail Daily Mail's royal correspondent for a three-hour audience. She wore sungla.s.ses and a baseball cap pulled over her eyes as she drove to meet him in London's West End, where he climbed into her car to talk. Whenever they met, she spoke freely and he quoted her as "a friend of the Princess." He published so many exclusives about her that he became known as her unofficial spokesman. Colleagues teased him about being "ma'am's mouthpiece." The tabloid reporter James Whitaker, who had helped engineer Diana's courts.h.i.+p, lamented his being "traded up." Realistically and without rancor, he explained why he had been replaced as her favorite reporter: "The Daily Mail Daily Mail is her crowd. That's what they read. It's more upmarket than my downmarket paper." is her crowd. That's what they read. It's more upmarket than my downmarket paper."

In fact, any story on the Princess of Wales appearing under Richard Kay's byline was a.s.sumed to come directly from her. He had reported her strong denials of an affair with James Hewitt. "We were never never lovers," she swore to the reporter, although later she admitted on television that she had committed adultery with Hewitt. She denied to Richard Kay that she had had an affair with James Gilbey, although their taped phone conversation revealed her fears of getting pregnant. She also denied having an affair with England's rugby captain Will Carling, despite Julia Carling's public threat to name Diana in a divorce suit for adultery. lovers," she swore to the reporter, although later she admitted on television that she had committed adultery with Hewitt. She denied to Richard Kay that she had had an affair with James Gilbey, although their taped phone conversation revealed her fears of getting pregnant. She also denied having an affair with England's rugby captain Will Carling, despite Julia Carling's public threat to name Diana in a divorce suit for adultery.

"I saw the Princess sneaking men into the back way of Kensington Palace," said a butler in the royal household, "because she brought them round by my apartment.... I couldn't help but see because she had to pa.s.s by my window."

The gamy insinuations swirling around the Princess inspired raucous jokes from late night comedians. In the States, The Dana Carvey Show The Dana Carvey Show lost two sponsors after the comic, performing as a prissy church lady, clucked disapprovingly about Diana's being a "s.l.u.t." On the lost two sponsors after the comic, performing as a prissy church lady, clucked disapprovingly about Diana's being a "s.l.u.t." On the Tonight Tonight show, Jay Leno joked: "Princess Diana was in an accident today, but she's recovering. Soon, she'll be out of the hospital and flat on her back again." show, Jay Leno joked: "Princess Diana was in an accident today, but she's recovering. Soon, she'll be out of the hospital and flat on her back again."

In most of Richard Kay's exclusives, the Princess appeared as a paragon. When she told him how her phone call had saved a drowning man, Kay wrote dramatically: "She rushed to the water's edge and helped pull the unconscious tramp to the bank, where he was given mouth-to-mouth resuscitation." When she told him she had taken her children on a secret visit to a homeless shelter so they could see how others less privileged live, Kay's "exclusive" dominated the entire front page: "Princes and the Paupers."

Diana reveled in her role as a mother and felt threatened when Charles hired Alexandra Legge-Bourke to plan activities for the boys when they were with him. The former nursery school teacher, known as Tiggy, joined the Prince's staff a few months after his separation from Diana. Tiggy forged a close bond with the children, who enjoyed her rollicking enthusiasm. The Princess admitted feeling a "gut kick" the first time she saw Tiggy racing to embrace the children, whom she called "my babies." And Diana felt upstaged as "Mummy" after seeing pictures of the twenty-nine-year-old a.s.sistant skiing with the children at Klosters in Switzerland, grouse hunting with them at Sandringham, and deer stalking at Balmoral. Tiggy was quoted as saying: "I give the boys what they need at this stage-fresh air, a rifle, and a horse."

The Princess fumed. "She's undermining my boys," she said. She complained about Tiggy's cigarette habit and said she didn't want the young woman smoking in front of the boys. "What is it about Charles, who professes to hate smoking, and women who're addicted to cigarettes?" she asked, alluding to Camilla Parker Bowles, also a pack-a-day smoker. And when Diana read about Tiggy in the press as "warm and cheerful" and "a wonderful surrogate mother," she hit the roof.

Diana acidly pointed out to Richard Kay that if she employed a "surrogate father" to be with the Princes when they were at home with her, she would be criticized as a bad mother. Unlike her husband, who took Tiggy with him to events at the boys' schools and on all vacations with the children, Diana said she did not feel compelled to take a man with her when she visited her sons or took them on holiday. After seeing pictures of Charles embracing Tiggy on three occasions and greeting her with a kiss on the lips, the Princess speculated that the Prince was "probably having an affair with the little servant girl."

The kissing drew questions from reporters, but Commander Aylard dismissed the Prince's public displays of affection for his a.s.sistant. "Tiggy is a member of the household," said Aylard, "and an old family friend." He added that her mother was a lady-in-waiting to Princess Anne, her aunt was an extra lady-in-waiting, and her brother had been a page-of-honor to the Queen. When the Prince and Princess later started divorce negotiations, Tiggy called herself "Tiggy in the middle."

By then Diana felt displaced as a mother, so she fired off directives to her husband regarding Tiggy's role in the children's lives. The Princess banned the younger woman from the boys' bedrooms and bathrooms. She said Tiggy should stay in the background on any occasion when the boys were seen in public. "She is neither to accompany them in the same car nor be photographed close to them." She insisted that when the boys called her from Sandringham at Christmastime, they were to be taken to another lodge on the estate, where they could speak to her privately. "No one else, no staff or servants, is to be present during our conversations."

Diana publicly reinforced her image as the mother of a future King by talking to Richard Kay about her firstborn son. She bragged that at thirteen he was "taller than his father... and so very different." She belittled Charles by building up William: the son is "decisive"; the son has "sense and sensibility"; the son takes "people for what they are, not who they are." The son is handsome, "not burdened" with stick-out ears. "Tell him he's good-looking," wrote Richard Kay after visiting with Diana, "and Wills says he can't be because that would make him vain." In contrast with his father, the gentle son protected his mother. When he saw a tabloid story about her having a crush on Tom Hanks and bombarding the movie star with phone calls, she said she was prepared to laugh it off, but Wills had insisted she issue a denial. "As he crossly told a school friend later, 'It made my mother look like a prost.i.tute.' "

When the Princess phoned the reporter on Sat.u.r.day, August 20, 1994, she was distraught. "Someone somewhere is going to make out I am mad," she sobbed. She had just found out the next day's newspapers were reporting that for eighteen months she had been peppering the art dealer Oliver h.o.a.re with anonymous telephone calls. She was suspected of making the crank calls to h.o.a.re's home and hanging up when his wife answered. Sometimes the caller stayed on the phone without saying a word. Diane h.o.a.re complained to her husband about the "silence" calls, which she found "unnerving." After a mysterious woman caller screamed torrents of abuse at her, Diane h.o.a.re insisted her husband call the police. At first the art dealer, an expert in Islamic art, feared a terrorist threat against his family. So he insisted on answering the phone himself. But when the sinister silent calls continued, he realized that whoever was calling just wanted to hear his voice.

"I would be polite and say, 'h.e.l.lo, who's calling? Who's there?' " he said. "But there was just silence at the other end. It was eerie."

After tapping the h.o.a.res' telephone line, police traced the calls to Diana's and Charles's private lines at Kensington Palace, to Diana's mobile phone, and to Diana's sister's phone on the days Diana was visiting. An investigator from the Nuisance Calls Division speculated that the Princess was using different lines to avoid detection.

"Mr. h.o.a.re went white as a sheet when he saw our report," said the investigator. "He never imagined in his wildest dreams that Princess Diana could be making the calls."

The h.o.a.res, who were close friends of Prince Charles and had known Diana since their marriage, showed him the police report that logged the time of every call. A confidential extract from January 13, 1994, shows: 8:45 8:45 A.M. A.M. Phone rings. Silence. h.o.a.re punches in the police code. The number that flashes up is a private office at Kensington Palace. Phone rings. Silence. h.o.a.re punches in the police code. The number that flashes up is a private office at Kensington Palace. 8:49 8:49 A.M. A.M. Phone rings. h.o.a.re: "Who's there?" Code reveals Diana's private line. Phone rings. h.o.a.re: "Who's there?" Code reveals Diana's private line. 8:54 8:54 A.M. A.M. Phone rings. Silence. Code reveals Charles's office phone at Kensington Palace. [Charles no longer living or working at Kensington Palace.] Phone rings. Silence. Code reveals Charles's office phone at Kensington Palace. [Charles no longer living or working at Kensington Palace.] 2:12 2:12 P.M. P.M. Phone rings. Silence. Code reveals Charles's office at Kensington Palace. Phone rings. Silence. Code reveals Charles's office at Kensington Palace. 7:55 7:55 P.M. P.M. Phone rings. Silence. Code reveals Charles's line from Kensington Palace. Phone rings. Silence. Code reveals Charles's line from Kensington Palace. 8:19 8:19 P.M. P.M. Phone rings. Silence. Code reveals Charles's line from Kensington Palace. Phone rings. Silence. Code reveals Charles's line from Kensington Palace.

The Prince shook his head sadly and expressed concern for his children. "They are the ones who will suffer from all this and will get it all played back when they return to school," he said. The h.o.a.res declined to press charges, but someone in Scotland Yard leaked the story to the press, and the Princess looked pitiful. People began questioning her sanity. "Is the Princess of Wales going mad?" asked an editorial. "She's an hysterical woman," wrote a columnist, "clearly teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown."

Her therapists explained her alleged pathological behavior as typical for a bulimic experiencing loneliness and isolation. "For a woman who has difficulty confronting people, and is struggling for control," said one specialist who treated Diana, "phone hara.s.sment gives a feeling of empowerment. It's a safe way to retaliate."

Then came a few tasty tidbits. The art dealer, a das.h.i.+ng married man and father of two children, apparently had extended friends.h.i.+p to the troubled Princess, and she had turned into an obsessive pest. But that was not entirely accurate, said Oliver h.o.a.re's chauffeur, Barry Hodge. He spoke up after h.o.a.re had fired him for unrelated reasons. The chauffeur a.s.serted that Diana and the art dealer had been having an affair. He said the couple had set up a "love nest" in Pimlico, where they had been meeting three or four times a week for almost four years. The chauffeur said h.o.a.re, who did not want to leave his wealthy, aristocratic wife, was very much taken with the Princess. And he said they dined secretly at the homes of friends such as Lucia Flecha de Lima, wife of a Brazilian diplomat. The chauffeur said the Princess "could phone [the limo] more than twenty times a day."

When Hodge's story was published, Diana contacted Richard Kay, who wrote that the chauffeur's "claims are said to have reduced the Princess of Wales to peals of laughter."

Oliver h.o.a.re admitted that he had met with Diana on several occasions, but only to advise her and console her about her marriage. Still, his wife insisted on a separation, so he moved into a one-bedroom apartment in Pimlico. A few months later the h.o.a.res reconciled and he moved back into their home.

"All we know is that Mr. h.o.a.re did not want to prosecute the Princess of Wales," said an investigator from London's Metropolitan Police Department. "He agreed to withdraw his complaint and said he would talk to the lady privately."

Diana denied making the hara.s.sing calls. "There is absolutely no truth in it," Richard Kay quoted her as saying. She showed him extracts from her calendar, saying she was at lunch with friends or at the movies when some of the calls were made. "They are trying to make out I was having an affair with this man," she said, "or that I had some sort of fatal attraction.... It is simply untrue and so unfair.... What have I done to deserve this? I feel I am being destroyed."

He listened sympathetically. When she acknowledged that she and h.o.a.re were "friends" and had spoken on the phone "occasionally," he asked if she had placed any of those occasional calls to him from pay phones.

"You can't be serious," she said indignantly. "I don't even know how to use a parking meter, let alone a phone box."

Her response made James Hewitt smile ruefully. He remembered many calls from Diana, who always disguised her voice when she called him at his army barracks. She told him she was dialing from a pay phone so the call would not appear on the phone bills that Charles examined. "I feel sorry for her," Hewitt said. "Very sorry."

Less sympathetic were the cartoonists, who lampooned her without mercy. One drew the Princess on the phone, saying: "Can you hold on a second? There's someone at the door...." Through a window, two men in white coats were approaching with nets and manacles. In another cartoon an old woman answers the phone. Hearing nothing but heavy breathing, she turns to her husband. "I think it's Princess Di for you."

Charles took advantage of the crack in his wife's stature. Having portrayed her as intellectually vacant and television addicted, he now said her only goal in life was to empty Chanel's boutiques and stock her closets at his expense. He complained loudly during a London dinner party about her expenses for travel and clothing and said she cost him $13,900 a month for "grooming." When Diana heard the comment she snapped, "I don't cost half as much to groom as his G.o.dd.a.m.ned polo ponies." Days later people could decide for themselves when her yearly "grooming" expenses were itemized in the papers:

$25,000:.

manicures and pedicures manicures and pedicures $24,000:.

hair, including color, cuts, and daily styling hair, including color, cuts, and daily styling $7,000:.

fitness instructor fitness instructor $4,400:.

chiropractor chiropractor $4,300:.