As If You Never Left Me Part 19

So angry she couldn't even speak, she instead growled the emotion and spun, stalked two steps toward

the door.

"Joely, I love you."

That stopped her. Why, she wasn't sure. It wasn't as if he hadn't said it before. Hearing it now didn't

make any of the rest of their situation go away. But something in his tone touched her. He sounded calm,

but at the same time wounded.

Slowly, she turned back around. "And? Or is it 'But'?"

"But I can't go through this again. And I can't take the blame for everything that goes wrong. Even when it doesn't."

"I don't understand."

He pushed his envelope toward her. "Read it."

For the moment, curiosity overcame irritation. She took the envelope and drew out its contents.

It was a legal doc.u.ment, three pages long. From what little she knew about the subject, it contained all the elements of a prenuptial agreement, but when she got to the body of the doc.u.ment, things began to change.

"I, Reynard Birch," she read aloud, "hereby affirm that I will not focus my attention so thoroughly on my job that I forget about my marriage." She gave him a narrow look. "That sounds all right."

"Keep reading."

She cleared her throat, looking for the place where she'd left off. "I, Joely Birch, hereby affirm that I will accept all communications with Reynard Birch in the spirit in which they were intended, regardless of whether they conform to my preconceived notions." Okay, this wasn't so nice. "Excuse me?"

Rey's smile had faded. "I meant every word I said to you. Who cares if Lisette had to kick me in the a.s.s to get the process started? My head was so far up there she d.a.m.n near broke my nose."

Joely shook her head. "All you were thinking about was the case."

He took a jerky step toward her, his body taut. With anger, frustration or desire, Joely couldn't tell. "No. The case brought my attention back around where it should have been all along. To you. It's a d.a.m.n shame I ever let it drift that far. I regret that. I'm sorry for that. But if we're going to have half a hope in h.e.l.l of making this work, you can't hold it over my head every chance you get."

She didn't know what to say. Was that what she'd been doing? In the guise of protecting her heart, had she laid the blame for everything that had gone wrong in their marriage squarely at Rey's feet?

She had. But right now she wasn't quite so sure it all belonged there.

She swallowed and straightened her spine. Time to face facts. "Go on."

"There's more in there, about what const.i.tutes infidelity, and the consequences of lying. We never had any problem with that, though."

"Just your affair with your job."

"Yeah. I think we covered that, though." He fiddled his fingers in the air. "Flip to the last page."

She did. Reading it, she wasn't sure if it was appropriate to laugh, but she did anyway. "Rey, this is nuts."

"Just read it. Tell me what you think."

"'In the event of any perceived or actual breach of the above agreements, in part or in full, the involved

parties agree to abide by the following procedure to settle this breach.' Rey! A procedure?" "It seemed prudent under the circ.u.mstances. Read on." She scanned the page. "Rey, I really don't think it's possible or even wise to make love during the course of an argument."

He arched a brow, a challenge in his eyes. "Why?"

"Well ...wouldn't you forget what you were arguing about?"

"That's the point. Now, read the last two items and then we can decide if we want to proceed."

"Okay. 'I, Joely Birch, hereby agree to give Reynard Birch the benefit of the doubt in any and all

situations. I, Reynard Birch, hereby agree to give Joely Birch top priority in any and all situations, including those related to advancement of career.' You already signed yours."

"I did."

She still didn't quite know what to think. "Is this a legally binding doc.u.ment?"

"Probably not."

"Then why did you do it?"

He shrugged. "I'm a lawyer. I think better this way. Besides, it doesn't have to be legally binding to make us think about what we're doing before it all blows to h.e.l.l again."

She nodded. Frowning, she read the last few paragraphs again. "Rey," she finally said, slowly. "I don't know if this is the most romantic thing I've ever seen or the most offensive."

He looked surprised. "There's no in between?"

"I'm not really seeing one."

Doubt crept into his face. Good. Maybe he was figuring out that the best way to a woman's heart wasn't through legal doc.u.ments.

"Maybe you could go for the former?" he said hopefully.

She shook her head. Frustration warred with need. Why couldn't he get it? "I don't know. This is a whole new wrinkle, Rey. I'm going to have to think about it."

Frustration won. She tossed the folder onto the bed and left.

Chapter Twelve.

"How dare he?" Joely muttered to herself as she shoved a finger into the elevator call b.u.t.ton. Rey's whole plan for reconciliation seemed to revolve around s.h.i.+fting the blame to her. What kind of nonsense was that?

How can he say any of this was my fault? He's the one who got so wrapped up in his job there was no time for me.

You're the one who walked out.

The thought prodded at her, making her angrier. She stomped into the elevator and shoved the b.u.t.ton for the lobby.

"I had a reason to walk out," she muttered, mostly under her breath but still loud enough that the other person on the elevator took a wary step away from her. Joely gave him a wan smile that she hoped didn't make her look like an axe murderer.

He didn't seem greatly rea.s.sured. She kept her fuming to herself until they reached the lobby and he made a hasty retreat.

Joely had had every intention of heading back up the mountain. But on her way to the parking lot, her feet slowed, and finally stopped. Something didn't feel right. Something in the back of her mind kept nudging her. Something in her heart felt askew.

Grudgingly, she admitted she couldn't go any farther without figuring out what that something was. She turned around and headed back to the lobby, to the restaurant. She could sit for a while with a drink or some nachos and think.

But she didn't make it to the restaurant, either. Just outside the door, her feet stopped again.

Thinking wasn't going to do her any good. She needed to make a phone call.

Rey let himself fall backwards onto the bed. He'd thought he had things figured out, but it had all gone h.e.l.lishly wrong.

The re-nup was supposed to have made her laugh. It had been the best way he could think of to air his grievances without having the situation spiral into an argument. It had spiraled anyway, and she'd walked out.

Again. So much for the third time being a charm.

He scrubbed his hands over his face. The entire venture had been doomed from the start. He should never have let Lisette talk him into it in the first place, much less the second time.

If only Joely could understand what he'd been trying to tell her. He didn't think it had been that much to ask. As far as he was concerned, the only thing standing between him and a happy life with his wife was her inability to admit she'd played a part in their breakup.

He understood her need to blame him. He'd blamed her for a long time. As their marriage had crumbled, she'd found less and less to say to him, closed more and more lines of communication. But he'd failed to use even the ones she'd left open, and when she had spoken to him he'd made little effort to listen. So, when faced with the prospect of seeing her again, he'd swallowed part of his pride and admitted to himself that he had to share the blame. She didn't seem willing to take a similar step.

She had to, though, if this was going to work. He couldn't always be the bad guy.

But, and he admitted this to himself with a wrench of pain, there wasn't a whole h.e.l.l of a lot he could do about it now. It was all up to Joely.

Sitting in a large, comfortable chair in the lobby, Joely dialed her cell phone. It had been a long time since she'd retrieved messages from her home answering machine, and it took her three tries before she got the pa.s.sword right. When she did, she found Lisette's message and replayed it, jotting down the Manhattan phone number. She glanced at her watch. It would be late in New York, maybe too late for a polite phone call.

She dialed the number anyway. It had to be done.

Lisette at least sounded alert when she answered. Joely could hear the familiar voice of a late-night talk show host in the background.

"I'm sorry to bother you at this hour," said Joely. "This is Joely Birch."

The sound of the TV faded. "Hi, Joely. It's okay, I'm just watching Letterman. What can I do for you?"

Joely closed her eyes, gathering her nerve. "I just need to know what your part is in all this."

There was a pause on the other end. "I'm sorry, but I don't really understand why."

"It seems to me that if Rey really wanted to get back together, he would have come up with the idea himself. He wouldn't have needed any prodding from anyone else."

Lisette snorted. "He's a man, Ms. Birch."

True, but the answer seemed too flippant to Joely. "It leaves me with a lot of questions."

Like, exactly who are you to him? What's he not telling me that I need to know? She chewed her lip, waiting for Lisette to break the suddenly taut silence.

"Okay. I think I know what some of them are." The background TV noise disappeared altogether. "Are you absolutely sure you want to hear this, Ms. Birch?"

Joely rubbed her forehead. "It can't possibly get any worse than it already is. Just tell me. And call me Joely."

Lisette's voice embarked on a story. Joely wondered what she looked like. What kind of expression was on her face? Was she enjoying her role as dropper of bombsh.e.l.ls? Worse, was it possible she would just introduce another impossible element to the situation by lying to Joely? Maybe Lisette wanted Rey for herself.

The story unwound.

"I dated Rey a couple of times." Okay, this was bad. Joely closed her eyes. "When we got to the third date, I tried to seduce him." This was worse. "No luck. Now, when a man pa.s.ses up commitment-free s.e.x, I know there's a problem. So the next time we went out, I got him drunk."

Joely tipped her head back against the couch. Tears teased the corners of her eyes. "Do I want to hear the rest of this?"

"Yes, you do. I still couldn't get him to sleep with me, but under the influence of Captain Morgan and Jose Cuervo, he told me his entire life story. Which was when I found out about you." There was a pause. "Joely, I know when I'm beat. I didn't have a chance in h.e.l.l with him. And he was such a mess-he said you gave him no warning, just threw divorce papers at him and left. It blindsided him. So when the suit with Cherokee came up, I just gave him a nudge. And when he came back home two weeks ago, I gave him another one. Now, apparently, you need the treatment. So you got it. Whatever it is that's keeping you away from him, get the h.e.l.l over it. You won't regret it."

Joely blinked as the tears slid down her face. She could summon no words.

After a moment Lisette said, "Are you all right?"

"No," Joely managed.

"Can I do anything else for you?"