Jake: Jake Understood Part 27

My sister spoke from behind me. "Those months were horrible for him."

I hadn't realized she was listening in.

She handed me a plate even though I'd said I had no appet.i.te. "It took you a long time to garner the courage to tell Ivy you needed to file for divorce."

"It needed to be done very carefully. Ivy was devastated once I told her I'd fallen in love with someone, mainly because she was sure that meant I'd abandon her. It took some time to hash out all of the legalities. But it was all necessary if I wanted to be with Nina."

"Where did things stand between you and Nina during all that time?" Mitch asked.

So much for not rehas.h.i.+ng everything.

I needed to just explain it as simply as possible and then be done with this conversation.

"Bottom line, things were rough for a while. Ryan continued to be an impediment, too. But Nina and I could never really manage to stay away from each other. Case in point, she got pregnant with A.J. during that time. And that surprise was the miracle that saved us. The past nine years haven't gone without challenges, but I feel like our love has only gotten stronger."

I knew Mitch understood where I was coming from because he and Skylar had certainly had their share of drama. They were apart for five years before they finally got their s.h.i.+t straight.

Mitch nodded and scratched his chin. "Has Nina ever met Ivy?"

"No. I don't think that would be healthy for either one of them. Nina never asked to meet her, and Ivy pretends my family doesn't exist. It's the only way she can handle it when she's even aware enough to think about it. It's a coping mechanism."

Mitch Jr. started crying, so Skylar got up to retrieve him from the playpen.

Mitch pointed his finger at me. "By the way, I think we need to tag team, hunt this Ryan down and beat his a.s.s."

"Believe me, he didn't escape my wrath. I ended up beating the s.h.i.+t out of him once when Nina was pregnant. But over the years, he's apologized enough times that I, at least, don't want to kill him anymore. It's hard to avoid him because Nina's parents are still close to his. Ryan and his wife are at a lot of family functions when we go to upstate New York. He married this really cool chick from Australia named Lisa, who clearly has no idea what a d.i.c.k he can be. She's way too good for him, though. They just had a son they named after Jimmy. They live not far from Nina's parents. He works in law enforcement now for the town."

Skylar was feeding the baby again. "I just can't forgive him for everything he did, especially what happened after A.J. was born. That was just unconscionable."

I straightened in my chair, uncomfortable with where this was going. "After A.J. was born? What are you talking about?"

"When he went to Nina's parents' house during the week she was staying there with the baby...when your work sent you overseas."

My insides were twisting. "Say what?"

"Oh, s.h.i.+t. Nina never said anything to you?"

"Apparently, f.u.c.king not."

"I just a.s.sumed she did. I'm so sorry, Jake. c.r.a.p. I shouldn't have brought it up. I-"

"Skylar! What the f.u.c.k happened?" It wasn't my intention to yell, but the fact that she knew about something that I didn't really p.i.s.sed me off.

"You know how Nina was really depressed, going through all of that post-partum stuff?"

"Of course, I remember. That was exactly why I didn't want her to be alone that week. She was constantly in tears. A.J. was only a few months old. But I'd just started a new job that I really needed, and they made me go to Germany for training, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to take the position. I drove her up to her parents' so they could help take care of her."

"Yeah. Nina called me a lot during that time. No one understood her postpartum depression. Nina's parents thought it meant she was unhappy with you because of the situation with Ivy. Somehow, Ryan got wind of it and showed up there that week, basically professing his love for her, saying that it wasn't too late for them, that he could make her happy, take care of her and the baby."

My body went rigid. I bit down on my bottom lip, nearly drawing blood. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Immediately taking out my phone, I scrolled down to Ryan's name.

Skylar panicked. "Please don't be mad at Nina. What are you doing?"

"I have that f.u.c.ker's number. I'm calling him."

No one should have witnessed what I planned to say or do during that call. I walked into our bedroom and slammed the door shut as the phone rang.

The sound of his baby crying in the background was the first thing I heard when the line picked up. Then, came Ryan's voice.

"h.e.l.lo?"

"Ryan..."

"Jake? What's up? Long time no-"

"The last time I saw you at Sheryl's sixtieth birthday, do you remember what I said to you?"

"Yeah. Uh, you said, 'life is too short to hold a grudge.'"

My hand was squeezing the pillow. I imagined it was Ryan's neck. "Well, forget that. What I meant was, 'life is too short not to smash your head in.' Next time I see you, I'm gonna do just that."

"What? What the h.e.l.l are you talking about?"

Clenching my jaw, I said, "When I made amends with you, I didn't know that you tried to break up my family after my son was born. All bets are off now."

"I need to explain."

"I'd love to hear how you try to explain your way out of this."

Ryan let out a deep sigh that I felt in my ear. "I need to try."

I muttered a myriad of obscenities under my breath.

"Are you listening?" he asked.

"You have one minute."

He was silent. Then, I heard a sniffle.

It sounded like he'd started to cry.

What the f.u.c.k?

"Are you crying, you f.u.c.king p.u.s.s.y?"

He sniffled again. There was a long delay before he spoke. "I don't know if Nina ever told you that when Jimmy died, I was by his side."

"She did."

"The last thing he said to me before his eyes closed-the very last thing-was 'take care of my sister.'"

He continued to speak. And I let him.

"I never had a problem with you before she moved into the apartment all those years ago. You know that. After she started hanging out with you, she changed. Nina was happy for the first time since Jimmy died. You were able to get her to overcome some of those stupid fears. I hated that you were able to do something that I couldn't. The way I saw it, Jimmy had left me with one responsibility, and I'd failed. I started to really resent you. But more than anything, I was afraid that if you hurt her, she was going to be worse than she was before. You still there?"

"Yes."

"After your marriage to Ivy came out, I became more convinced that I needed to get Nina away from you. Even though the circ.u.mstances were unique, I still felt that the whole thing was a recipe for disaster and that she deserved better. When she found out she was pregnant, I truly believed that she was only staying with you because she was afraid to be alone. Soon after that, Tarah moved out and left me when she figured out my obsession with Nina. I confessed to her about some of the things I'd done to try to keep you and Nina apart. So, I had nothing to lose. After your son was born, during the week Nina was staying at her parents' house, I gave it one last college try. My folks had told me that she was really unhappy. I didn't realize it was the postpartum depression. So, I went to her and told her I loved her and that if she wanted to leave you, I'd take care of her. I didn't understand the depth of her feelings for you. Do you know what she told me?"

My voice was barely audible. "What?"

"She told me that even though she felt lost and didn't even really know who she was anymore, the only thing she was sure of in life was how much she loved you. She told me her best hope for me was that I would someday get to experience that kind of soul deep love with someone. Looking back, it's clear to me that I didn't love her that way at all. I'd been trying to win a compet.i.tion for her. It wasn't until I met Lisa that I understood the kind of love you and Nina have. I know now that I could have never torn you two apart. When you truly love someone, it's indestructible."

"Yeah..."

"So, once again, I need to tell you how sorry I am. I was wrong. Nina and you always belonged together. Jimmy told me to take care of her. But he changed his mind and sent a better man instead."

I closed my eyes. I needed to get my wife home.

"Go back to your baby," I said.

"Are we okay again?"

"I'm not sure. But I probably won't smash your face in."

"I'll take that for now."

"Good night, Ryan."

I hung up before he could respond.

I lay back on the bed to compose my thoughts before dialing Nina. Ryan's words ran through my head. He sent a better man instead. It was doubtful that Nina was feeling that way about me right now.

I reached over to the nightstand and lifted a picture of Nina and me taken on a Gondola ride in Venice during our honeymoon. The smile on her face was difficult to take in right now, knowing she was somewhere trying to get away from me, that she was likely thinking about all of the ways I hadn't put her first.

I shuddered.

The sounds of my family and friends talking in the next room seemed miles away.

Forcing myself up, I decided to head to the master bath to splash some water on my face before returning to the living room.

The water cooled my skin but didn't calm me down.

As I wiped my face, a pink box in the small garbage can caught my eye. It was the discarded packaging of a pregnancy test.

I started to feel lightheaded as I bent to pick it up. This was officially my first clue as to what caused Nina to lose it last night. There was no sign of a test stick itself. The box said it included three tests, but the trash came up empty.

I ignored everyone as I bolted through the living room and into the other bathroom where there was nothing in the trash but one of A.J's empty juice boxes. A search of the kitchen garbage also turned up nothing. Not one pregnancy test showed up in the entire house even though the box was empty.

Feeling distraught, I stood in the kitchen, leaning against the granite countertop with my head in my hands. I didn't have to guess what happened. I knew.

We'd taken countless tests together over the past few years, all negative. Each time was more difficult than the last. My fear was that Nina went through that experience alone last night while I was stuck at the hospital, and that fueled her anger toward me.

We'd recently talked about going to see a fertility specialist, but Nina had been scared to go on any drugs. We were supposed to be discussing it again soon now that she'd finished nursing school.

The vibration of the phone in my pocket startled me. Nina's name lit up on the screen. My heartbeat felt like excruciating waves thras.h.i.+ng against the walls of my chest.

"Nina."

"Hi."

"Where are you?"

"I'm at a diner downtown."

"A diner? What are you doing there?"

"I came here to think."

"Have you been there all day?"

"No."

"What have you been doing?"

"At first, I honestly just wandered around aimlessly."

Cedric walked into the kitchen to check on me. "Everything alright?"

Waving him away, I nodded.

"Who was that?"

"That was Cedric. He and Allison are here. You didn't know it, but I'd planned a party for you tonight. That was the whole reason I initially went to Ivy's last night instead of today. Skylar and Mitch are here, too."

"What? Are you kidding?"

"I wish. You made me promise not to call you, so I kept my word. We've just been hanging out here waiting for you, hoping you'd come home."

"Oh my G.o.d. I feel horrible. We need to talk, Jake. I was going to come home right now, but I think you need to meet me here if we won't have any privacy."

"No lie, you're freaking me out, baby. But I'll meet you anywhere you want. I'll f.u.c.king walk to the ends of the earth if you just tell me we're okay."

Her breathing became uneven, and it sounded like she was crying.

"Nina? You're scaring the living f.u.c.k out of me. What's happening?"

"Promise me you won't be mad at me."