Bad Habits Part 37

"GET OFF ME!!" she screamed. "LET ME GO!"

"LISTEN! I HAD A VASECTOMY!"

Simone stopped. She blinked up at him. His gla.s.ses broken, he was bleeding on his left cheek from her scratch. He sat up, pinning her down. "It's not my kid, because I had myself fixed back in college."

"What?" Simone asked.

"I'm sorry, baby. I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't lie to you. Stacy is looking for someone to p.a.w.n her baby on. It's not me."

"You had a va-va-vasectomy?" she stammered.

Keith released her. He removed his broken gla.s.ses and touched his cheek. Simone scooted back from him in shock. "You had a vasectomy, and I've been trying to get pregnant for a year? You've been playing me this whole time. What kind of man are you?" she asked weakly.

Keith glared. "I'm your husband, and it's time you accepted that fact. Because I'll do anything to make sure it stays that way."

"Then you better get ready for the fight of your life, because I'll do anything to get the h.e.l.l away from you!"

"Can we talk?"

He cut his eyes away. Famous last words. Can they talk? They sure haven't tried in a while. Talk, listen, and hear one another out wasn't in the marriage contract, or so he thought. Acts of reciprocation that were supposed to be key to a successful marriage were missing ingredients from his. He sipped his beer. The cool barley went down smoothly but his thirst was far from quenched. He got a taste of something else, something unexpected and fresh. Sure they could talk, but should he share the truth?

The night was warm. Out on the terrace, staring up at the setting sun, he waited for a glimpse, another chance encounter. He got home later than his boss. He decided on a drive through the city to clear his head. It did him little good. Once home, he came in the door, shed his sports coat and made his way here to sip a beer and wait. Maybe her moon would draw her out so he could see her again, though he had no idea what he'd say if she did appear.

"Cain? Can we talk?" Maryanne asked.

Oh yes, and then there was his wife who wanted to talk.

"Sure, let's talk," he agreed, setting the beer down on the arm of the wicker deckchair. His legs extended before him, crossed at the ankle and he slumped down even further. Maryanne, who had been behind him, lifted from her lean against the inside frame of the patio doors, walked over to the chair next to him and then sat. Her fragrant skin, a mix of raspberry and vanilla from a fresh bath, bloomed in his nostrils. His eyes cut over as she tossed her blonde hair and looked ahead. He looked away. What could he say, especially now when his desire for his marriage was as half-a.s.sed as his commitment.

"So, Daddy is sending Mother and I to Paris. Did he mention it?"

"Sort of," Cain shrugged.

"Do you have a problem with it?" Maryanne asked.

Cain's hand tightened on the beer. The cool liquid inside mixed with the humid air outside and had the bottle sweating, slippery in his hold. He took down another swig.

"I asked you a question?"

"Why would I have a problem with you flying off to spend money? It's what you do. You and Mother."

Maryanne sighed. Cain sipped. The two of them sat locked in silence on the deck, staring at the darkening sky. Soon no traces of the sun could be found. Darkness had moved in, cooling them both, but nothing lessened the charge of intensity that filled the air.

"So, you and Simone Livingston are close," she stated, rather than asked.

"I don't know what that means," Cain answered.

"Oh, it means lunches at Costco where you share slices of pizza, instead of coming home and having lunch with your wife."

"You're always at the club with Mother around lunch time," he said dryly.

"Don't get cute," Maryanne warned.

He sipped.

She sat in silence.

"Why didn't you tell me that you met her for lunch?"

He dropped his head back and stared at the sky, waiting, waiting for her moon, waiting for this conversation to be over, just waiting.

"Cain?"

"What do you want me to say? That I'm attracted to her? That I met her for lunch for some clandestine reason to betray you?"

"That's enough! What the h.e.l.l is wrong with you? If you are that miserable then-"

"Then what?" He sat up. "What? I should leave? Walk?"

"That's not what I was going to say." Her voice weakened on the edge of a tremble. She looked at him with tears in her eyes. "I was going to say that if you are that miserable, then talk to Daddy. Work it out with him."

"Work what out?" Cain spat.

"What it is that has you being such an a.s.shole lately! How am I supposed to know what's wrong when all you do is fight with me?"

Cain dropped back in his chair and chuckled, sipping more of his beer. "Maryanne, you can't be that clueless."

"You've been extra ugly to me since I cancelled our plans to Florida, and you've been really tense since you said that Joseph was coming here. Daddy said today, when we talked, you are probably stressing over this Keith Livingston thing."

"I've heard enough." He started to rise.

She grabbed his arm before he did. "Wait. If it's not that, then it's about your mother, and your brother and it's affecting our marriage. Are you flirting with our neighbor to get a rise out of me? Cain, that's not you."

"That's not what it is. Are you even here? Don't you see what we are? What we've become? What if I said that I wanted out? What if I said I want us to walk away from all of this? Just leave it all behind. Go somewhere. Start fresh, me and you on our own. I can get back into architecture. h.e.l.l, I can start in carpentry and you can get back into your writing. When we were in college, you wanted to be an author. Remember?"

"Are you insane? Why would we do that?" Maryanne frowned.

"Because if we don't, d.a.m.n it, we won't make it! Open your f.u.c.king eyes! If something doesn't change, we won't make it, Maryanne."

"You're scaring me," Maryanne said. For a minute, he felt the deepest pang of regret. Maybe he was at fault for not trying hard enough to get through to her. Maybe he was using their issues as an excuse to push her further away instead of working through them. It was instead of giving up and running like his mother did to him, Joseph and his stepfather. Maybe this was all on him. He turned and faced her. He took her hand, looked at her sincerely.

"What if I said I'm ready now to be our own family? That I will do whatever it takes and we can get counseling. That we can try for the baby, move away from here and start again on our own. I'll take care of you and the kid. Would you want to? We could do it, Maryanne. Make babies and live on our own terms. Go somewhere and just be Cain and Maryanne again. We could try, honey. f.u.c.k, I'll go all in on this one. Really try hard. I swear."

She stared at him blankly for a second. Then a slow smile formed on her lips. "Aww, you want me to give you a baby?"

"No, Maryanne. What I'm saying is-"

"I know what you're saying. Yes, of course I want a baby, especially your baby, sweetheart. I've been trying so hard. You have no idea how hard I try. Why do you think I want s.e.x all the time? In fact, I was telling Daddy this morning that I might be pregnant right now. You never know."

Cain withdrew. His eyes narrowed on her. Maryanne smiled brighter. "We can go upstairs and practice. You like it when we practice, don't you? You like it when I get on top?" she asked, licking her lips. She ran her hand up and down her thigh.

"You're lying to me!" he hissed.

"What? No I'm not! I'm trying to be honest. I've been trying to get pregnant. I'm working on it. The doctor says-"

"Stop it!"

"Now you listen to me!" she snapped, eyes locked with his. "I know you're stressed and have a lot on you. I know you're doing the best you can to give me the life we want, but that gives you no right to take this out on me. I've been a good wife to you, Cain Gatlin. Loyal and faithful, and I chose you over Daddy. I did that. I did that for better or worse! So guess what? This pity party ends now! I'm not here to nurse your ego to be some king carpenter!"

He cut his eyes away.

"Oh good grief! When will this end? Just talk to Daddy, and he'll help you! I'm sick of this bulls.h.i.+t," Maryanne said.

"As opposed to talking to you, right? As oppose to me telling you that it's us-it's you and me that don't work. As opposed to me telling you that I'm f.u.c.king sick to death of being married to your father and listening to both of your lies!" He threw the bottle of the beer out into the lawn. "f.u.c.k talking to your father! You call Daddy and talk to him. I'm done."

He got up and stormed through the house. Stopping to get his keys, he headed for the door. He'd get more peace at a bar than here.

"Then you better get ready for the fight of your life, because I'll do anything to get the h.e.l.l away from you!"

Simone wiped her cheeks. She stood, back pedaling away from the man she was supposed to know. Everything about him and their life together was a lie. Her world and her heart unraveled in front of her eyes. "You b.a.s.t.a.r.d! A vasectomy? You had it done before we got married?"

Keith touched the scratch on his face. He looked at his broken frames and then tossed them. Rising, he faced her. "I got caught up in college. A girl, long story short, could have cost me my future. My parents wouldn't understand. So I paid her off to have an abortion. Afterwards, I took care of it. No more mishaps."

Simone blinked at his logic. He couldn't control his d.i.c.k, so he snipped his sperm ducts? How his mind worked astounded her. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, stepping back in disgust.

"It can be reversed. It's not permanent. I figured when the time was right, we'd get it done."

"You figured? So even you get to decide when I get pregnant? You are sc.u.m. Do you know that?"

"Wait a minute. Quit with the f.u.c.king name calling. That s.h.i.+t happened a long time ago. I'm your husband. Show me some respect!"

"Sc.u.m!" she spat. "Husband? Not anymore. I want a divorce. I want it now, not a separation, no mediation, no psychiatric manipulations. Just a f.u.c.king divorce. Do you hear me?" she shouted.

"You can't have one." He dismissed her request with the flip of his wrist.

Simone laughed. "Oh yeah, yeah? We'll see about that, slick! We'll see! You know what? I can't stand the sight of you." She turned to walk out.

"Careful, Simone," he said coolly. "I've thought this out and you haven't," he warned.

She stopped and looked back at him. He stood there with a glaring look she'd seen before. The one when she called him on the affair. It was a cool calculated look that she broke under. Not this time. She wanted out, and there wasn't a d.a.m.n thing he could say or do to convince her otherwise.

"You threatening me?"

"You're my wife. That doesn't end because you're upset."

"Upset?" Simone took a step toward him. "Oh you think I'm upset?" She laughed in his face. Angry tears kept streaming down her cheeks. She laughed hard and bitter. "Baby, I'm not upset. I'm awake. I see you." She pointed an accusatory finger at him. "Keith, all of you is slick. Not the good guy you want them to think you are, but the selfish, egotistical, narcissistic, raping, sc.u.mbag you really are!"

"Rape?" Keith smirked. "Fine, call me names. Fact is, you won't get a dime."

Simone crossed her arms. "First, you're wrong on that score, but for argument's sake let's say you're right and your money is untouchable. Here's a news flash for you. I DON'T CARE! I never wanted your money! NEVER! I'll walk out with what I came in with."

"Which right now according to the state of New England is exactly what I say you came in with." He looked her over and the next smile he offered chilled her to the bone. "You never read what you signed, Simone. You just trusted blindly. Didn't you, sweetheart?"

"What does that mean?"

"Always have, always sweet trusting Simone. So needy and so willing to please me. Why do you think I married you in the first place?" Keith asked.

She swallowed down the knot forming in her throat. Her stomach clenched. She stood frozen in his words. She was stripped bare at how naive she was to his faults, to who he really was. Naive and stupid. "Your...your attempts to intimidate me won't work, Keith."

He took a step toward her.

She took a step back.

"All the accounts, all the money, all the investments, do you even know where to look? That little spending account of yours isn't even yours."

"I have my own money," she said, her mind doing flips backward to account for what she did know. "I don't care."

"You should, sweetheart, because you don't have a dime unless I say you do!"

"That's not true."

Keith arched a single brow. They stood there in silence staring at each other, neither blinking. Each memory of the financial aspects of their marriage unveiled, showing her what her rose colored gla.s.ses had prevented her from seeing. The truth. How he insisted that she sell her hair salon through his attorneys. How he kept putting her off when she asked about the money and how it was invested. All the forms he and his lawyers shoved in front of her to sign. How the house was sold and the new house bought and she never got an invite to the closing. How every single day of her life as Mrs. Livingston was controlled, dictated, and organized to his approval and his liking. How stupid she was.

"You stole my money, didn't you?" she asked weakly.

"I invested it. I'm your husband."

"You are such a b.a.s.t.a.r.d," she said, shaking her head. Sadly, she turned then stopped. She looked back at him. "I still don't care, Keith. I don't. Even the salon that I broke my back to open and made a success, which you want to rob me of, isn't enough to make me care. It'll never be enough to make me stay with you for another day. I'm leaving you, and I'm never looking back."

"One last thing," he said, walking over to his favorite chair. He dropped down. He pressed the bridge of his nose and closed his eye. Then he slumped further and looked at her, tapping his fingers on the arm of the chair. Simone put her hands to her hips. Suddenly, she understood domestic homicide.

"What? What else is there?" Simone asked.

"If you leave me, if you even think of it, I'll be forced to make you behave."

"Who the h.e.l.l do you think you are? Make me behave? Did you not hear me? I'd rather live on the streets than spend another moment-"

"Kim."

He nodded to the look she gave him.

"Checked in on Mother, and she confirmed that Richard has done a good job with the motions he's filed. The city of New York is ready to settle your sister's case, thanks to my father's influence. Mother and Father are trying to make sure that those little nephews of yours get everything that they deserve."

"I can't believe you would do this."