Bad Habits Part 72

"It's not funny, Kim."

"I'm sorry, Kitt. I just can't see you doing this. Keith thought he had such control over you, and to be honest, we all did. I guess we were wrong."

"Cain was a friend. The affair, it didn't happen until after Keith confessed he had the vasectomy. Something in me snapped. I just wanted to be free. Now, well now I'm pregnant by a married man."

Kim stiffened. She sat upright. "What did you say?"

"Cain's married. He's white. He's a white man married to a rich a socialite. Now you see why it isn't so funny?"

"Simone? What the h.e.l.l were you thinking?" Kim frowned.

"I'm in love with him so I wasn't thinking. I know it sounds crazy but I am. He's in love with me too. I can't explain it. Sometimes things happen, you know?"

Kim sighed. "Yeah, I know. Mathew, you saw him. He took me by surprise."

"He's married?"

Kim chuckled. "No. But he was the real thing. Sometimes you meet the right person at the wrong time. I get that. I could see myself with him. I can't stop thinking about him. But it's over. And it's my fault."

"I saw him, Kim. He was really worried about you. He didn't look good on that boat. Maybe you should go see him."

"No. He's gone anyway, back to Carolina. It's done. I get it though. How you can find love when you need it the most? Doesn't come wrapped up neatly though, does it?" Kim asked.

"No, it doesn't."

"Does Cain know about the baby?" Kim asked.

"Girl, no. No one knows but you. I got to get divorced before I can even think of it," Simone said.

"Have you been to a doctor?"

"No. I told you I can't tell anyone."

"Well you have to go. So let's get you annulled and take care of my niece or nephew."

Simone paused. Kim arched her left brow, waiting for her to agree. "You not mad at me? For s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g up this big?" Simone smiled.

"I'm a junkie, who am I to judge on screw ups?" Kim winked.

Simone laughed. She clapped her hands together. "I'm so glad to have you back, the real you, Kimmy. I'm so glad."

"Me too." Kim looked back over the sofa. "Now what we gone do about Mama? This reunion is going to knock her off her feet."

"Yeah, we got to handle it carefully."

Cain blinked awake. The persistent buzz of the alarm clock pierced his skull. He groaned and rolled. He reaching to slam his hand down on the top of the clock but he only managed to push it off the nightstand.

"s.h.i.+t."

After yesterday he was only able to summon three hours of sleep. Sitting upright on the side of the bed, he rubbed his temples to dull the pain in his skull. He couldn't go on like this. But he had to. He reached for the phone and dialed. His eyes closed. One wrong move and it could all blow up in his face. His mother was better at this than him. He still had his doubts he'd pull it off in the end.

"Keith Livingston."

"Keith, it's Cain. Is it too early?"

"No. I've been waiting on your call," he said dryly.

"Well, the meeting's today with Andrew to review the project charter. I couldn't delay it any further. I wanted you to know that I have it under control. It's just a formality. He will sign off on the plan for the board meeting."

He heard Keith expel a deep breath of frustration. Cain had to hold his tongue and measure his words when he spoke again. "Can you make it back? When can we expect you back?"

"Things here require my attention. I won't be back in time for the meeting. Not sure how soon. I'll call Andrew and explain."

"Of course, is there something I can do? Any way I can help?" Cain offered.

"You said you saw my wife before she left?"

Cain didn't answer. When did he say that? He rewound the last conversation and remembered his outburst in the hospital elevator.

"h.e.l.lo?" Keith said.

"Yes, I saw her, briefly."

"Was she with anyone?" Keith asked.

"Excuse me?" Cain frowned.

"A man. A black man, tall, dark skinned. Was she with him when she left my house?"

Cain sat upright puzzled. "A black man?"

"Yes d.a.m.n it! Did you see a black man with her, when she left?"

"No. I didn't see anyone, but her," Cain answered.

"Fine. Thanks. Keep me informed. I'll reach out to Andrew. Bye."

Keith hung up.

Cain looked down at the phone. Why would Keith think Simone was with a man before she left? It didn't make any sense.

Simone lowered the visor, in a fake attempt to freshen her makeup. She studied her mother in the tiny mirror instead. Diane sat in the back seat with her arms crossed. She didn't think her mother had uncrossed her arms since they told her the news, the plan. She could still hear her ranting about it.

That sorry black a.s.s muthfaf.u.c.ka! Black bastid! Why would you call him? I'm here for you both ain't I? Why you go and call him? Sorry m.u.t.h.af.u.c.ka! Now what? You think he gone rescue you both now? He didn't when he left. He sent them checks but did he ever come around? No, and I tell you this! He never called to check on you either. Now he all Mr. Big s.h.i.+t, and he wants to come back. f.u.c.k that! Where was he when we needed him, huh? I tell you where he wasn't, with us! So what he gone do now that you can't do for yourselves? Ansa' me that! What?

For all her ranting, her mother took the longest to get dressed. She even applied makeup. She wore a summer powder blue maxi dress that belonged to Simone. Her curly afro was picked out neatly after Simone gave her a trim. She looked beautiful. Simone smiled at her. Diane looked up and shot her a glare and rolled her eyes.

"This is it," Kim said.

Simone flipped the visor up just as they pa.s.sed 125th street. Wilson's Construction building was in the new developed business district of Harlem. His corporate headquarters was quite impressive. "This is Daddy's?"

"Yeah. The m.u.t.h.af.u.c.ka workin' with the mob. That's why he got that fancy building. Yep, that's why. He ain't so special," Diane grumbled.

"Mom, you said you could handle it. Are you sure?" Kim asked.

Diane dropped her eyes away and shrugged. Simone couldn't help but beam with pride. Daddy was a sanitation worker when she was a little girl. He worked hard, but he never caught a break. Now look at him. She had heard from cousins and acquaintances of his of his fortune, got a distorted account from her mother. And when he got his license and started with some of the redevelopment projects in Harlem, a client in her salon mentioned him. Keith even pointed out an article on him in the Post once. He asked her about her ties to the man he was now, remarking at how much better her father seemed to be without them. It hurt. His success was yet another betrayal, because they had to hear of it instead of being a part of it. So even though she kept his current number in her cell phone, she wanted no parts of him. Now they were back, all three of them, seeking daddy's help.

"You sure you want to do this, Kitt? We don't need him. I can get another attorney. The important thing is just getting you divorced."

"We need him," Simone said softly. "We all do. It's time we all talk. Don't you think?"

"I guess," Kim sighed. She looked back at her mother, who pouted in the back seat. "Anne has the boys for the next few hours. We blew off Madison. This is the only option. Let's do it." Kim got out first. Simone followed, opening the back door for Diane. On the sidewalk under the sunny glare of the noonday they paused a moment. Diane was the first to break away and start the approach. Simone and Kim followed.

Chapter Thirty-Three.

Daddy's Girls Part II Simone/Kim The office of Charles Wilson was accessible by a private elevator to the twelfth floor. That's what the lanky, bald security guard mumbled before handing each of them visitor badges from behind his circular guard desk. Kim was the last to receive hers. She stared at it for the moment and needed to slot her heart back into place. She told Simone she was okay and that she worried for Diane during this visit, but truth be told, she was barely there. The other part of her, the bold, tough exterior, her s.h.i.+eld, remained in the car. Over the years Simone had kept up with their father. Even seen him a few times.

But not her.

Kim wasn't easy on forgiveness. She hadn't seen her dad face to face since she was eight years old. She dashed out of their aunt's funeral to avoid him five years ago. She hadn't spoken to him, hadn't returned any calls (only two initiated by him over the years) and most importantly, she hadn't forgiven him.

Daddy issues.

Some say a girl's relations.h.i.+p with her father will shape her relations.h.i.+p with men. Well maybe that was true. She chose the ant.i.thesis of her father, and then secretly harbored fears of ultimately being abandoned. Irony was a way of life for her.

Though Kim was the oldest, she was Daddy's Girl, while Simone remained Mama's Baby. Kim would take care of their mother when her father had to work doubles and couldn't. When he was there, he'd keep Diane together and take care of her and baby Simone. They were a team. A family. That was before it all changed.

Kim summoned the will to hold back, though the burn of new tears brimmed. She downed the sob forming in her throat. Daddy left her. After all the love they shared, he left. Dennis promised not to but he was gone. Mathew said he loved her, but he left too. That's what men did. They all go away.

The elevator slowed to a stop. In came the plush clean smell of success. She walked two paces behind her mother and sister as they pa.s.sed through gla.s.s doors to a receptionist desk with an attractive black woman in her early twenties. The receptionist peered up at them from under long Betty Boop lashes.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"We here to see Charles," Diane announced with her nose held high.

The woman looked from Diane to Simone, then finally to Kim. Her smile faded. She picked up the phone, made a call, and then abruptly hung up.

"Please follow me."

The three of them were led down a hall. They pa.s.sed offices where white, black, and Asian men worked diligently behind tall flat screen monitors and keyboards. The secretary was the only woman on the floor. Kim eyed her mother who kept her eyes on the secretary as they walked the hall. Diane tried to cover, but the mere presence of another woman seemed to chip away at her confidence. The first year after Daddy left was the worst. Diane cried constantly, cursed and raged, called mutual friends, acquaintances and begged for his whereabouts. She put them in the car one evening and drove through the streets of New York, drunk and mumbling that someone was out to get them. And the bad memories didn't end there. Kim did all she could to try to stop her. Did all she could to save them, but she was only eight years old. Why would he leave that burden upon the shoulders of an an eight year old?

She hated him. She loved him. She wanted nothing from him. She needed him.

The doors opened.

Kim's legs stopped moving. Her mother and sister pa.s.sed through but she couldn't. The secretary gave her a look, not sure of her hesitation. She couldn't speak to voice it. What she wanted more than anything was to run to take something to ease the pain. No not something. What she wanted to do was use.

"Is there a problem?" the young woman asked.

Kim sucked in a deep breath and then entered. Charles was up from behind his desk. He kissed both sides of Simone's cheeks. Diane stood off, arms folded, eyes averted. He first looked to her as if seeing her again for the first time. In that pause Kim saw sadness and what could be love if she believed he had a heart. Then those eyes returned to Kim.

It was Daddy.

Tall, dark, handsome, her hero stood before them in the flesh. He was dressed different. Gone was his sanitation uniform for a tailored grey suit that showed him to be fit and strong. His hair was dark and wooly, graying at the temples. His eyes remained a smoky brown that read her every emotion. Kim's eyes never left him as he approached her mother. And only briefly when he greeted her.

Diane, for all her mouthy rant said nothing. None of them could speak in his presence. Each of them was trapped in their memories of loss and regret. Charles pretended to understand. Kim couldn't conceive that he truly did. And just as she feared, he came to her next.

"Kim? How are you, baby-girl?"

She nodded, and avoided his touch with a side step toward her mother. Kim chose to sit. Her father gave a small disappointed smile. Even Diane had allowed his touch. Well she wouldn't be so easily won over. She watched him closely as he chose to sit on the sofa chair to the left of his girls.

"I'm glad you came. It's been a real long time." Charles smiled.

"Yeah, well that was your choice," Diane grumbled.

Charles stared at his wife. Yes, that was the other strangeness between them. He never divorced Diane. All these years later she remained his wife. Kim could never understand either of them on that accord. "You look good, Di. Real good, baby."

"You don't," Diane shot back.

He gave that deep chuckle that pierced Kim's heart. She remembered that chuckle. And that rich spice of his cologne was the same too. She remembered it from when he'd dress up on Sat.u.r.day nights to take their Mama to card parties. Memories of scents and feelings all came flooding back.

Simone cleared her throat. "Daddy, we came to talk to you."

"Why?" Kim blurted. The pitch of her voice was unnaturally high.

Diane and Simone looked to her. It's the first she'd spoken aloud since they arrived through his building doors. Kim cleared her throat. If she asked she had to be prepared for the answer. Was she prepared to hear that the father she still loved never loved them?

"Why did you do it? Leave us like that? Why?" Kim asked.

"He a coward and a crook that's why!" Diane snipped.

"Am I, Di? Is that why I left, baby?" His eyes kept seeking her mother's. Diane refused him the courtesy of meeting his questioning stare.

"What? Is there more?" Simone asked, now picking up on the 'thing' between their parents. Not understanding.

"I love your mother, still do. Don't I, Di? As much as a selfish b.a.s.t.a.r.d like me can. Isn't that right? It's my fault for s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g up, baby. I admit that. But if you're here now, Di, at least our daughters need to know why. Why I couldn't stay and protect them. Why I left."

"Oh we know it's your fault," Kim snapped. "Stop asking Mama to explain what you did. You ran away and we suffered for it."