Bad Habits Part 86

"Well that's my fault. I put everyone through a lot. I know. So yep, time is up," Kim sighed, "I think you should go ahead and book a flight. Catch one out tomorrow. I might..." Kim sat up dusting the sand from her hands. "I need tonight, to talk to Matt, to figure some things out before I go." Kim wouldn't explain herself further. Anne was the kind of friend that understood and wouldn't press.

And it was true that Kim found the urge to use in everything. She even suffered from phantom back pains in the night that had her waking sometimes in a cold sweat. She'd sneak from the bed and splash water on her face and wait for the chills to subside. But they were always there, just beneath the surface.

Kim knew she and Matt were living as if yesterday or tomorrow didn't matter. He hadn't heard one word from the MRB regarding his medical license. She hadn't shared how dire things were back home with her family, especially now that her father had stepped back into their lives and was running things. Simone said she had her house back. But Kim was unemployed with two small children. Life was far from perfect.

"Are you going to stay?" Anne asked.

Kim drew her knees to her chest. She dropped her chin on the top. "I can't say. All I know, Anne, is that I love that man. Don't get me wrong. Part of me will always belong to Dennis, but Matt-Matt is mine too."

"That's cause you a greedy heifer." Anne hit her playfully. Kim laughed. Anne shook her head, continuing to fan herself. "I'm kidding. Of course you can love them both. Love them in different ways. You and Mathew fit. He's so different though." Anne c.o.c.ked her head to the side observing him dunking the boys in the water to get them used to getting their faces wet. "Not just being white, I mean he's all southern white boy, different. You know what I mean?"

"I guess," Kim shrugged. Race was the last of their issues. They had so much pain and regret between them she was colorblind when it came to loving him.

"Take for instance his family's house. The one he grew up in, that he took us to. Place looks like some plantation right out of Roots." Anne continued.

Kim chuckled. "Yeah, I thought so too when I saw it."

They both shared a laugh before falling back into a comfortable silence that Kim broke. "He is different. I think that's why I feel so safe with him. Everything about us is genuine, unexpected, and different. It's like each time with us is the first time. Does that make sense?"

Anne nodded. "I get that."

Mathew walked out of the water carrying the boys. He had tanned nicely the past few days, but that wasn't the best part. Even his manly pudge was s.e.xy. The hairs that trailed from his navel and got thicker as they disappeared into his shorts was s.e.xy.

"Mmm, yes, I see why," Anne said under her breath.

Kim pinched her, and then they both giggled. Kim waved to her sons. Tonight would be the night. They needed to talk about what comes next. She had her toes crossed that he felt the same.

Mathew set the toddlers on their feet. Wet, grinning, both tykes raised their hands to him wanting to be carried. He jogged ahead and they ran after him whining, near tears. He caved, scooping them back up. He carried them to Kim. She reclined on the sand with her sungla.s.ses s.h.i.+elding her pretty eyes in a tangerine orange bikini and sarong that tied at her thick hips. He loved her curves. She was making him crazy displaying them the way she was.

Since their reunion and the pa.s.sion they shared in her hotel room, they hadn't had s.e.x. There was no time for s.e.x. Every night they crowded in one bed with the boys between them. Every day he filled it with trips to each special spot he knew in his hometown. His sister kept calling to feed them. His brothers kept calling to invite them to some family gathering or another. He needed to get her alone.

"Look at my boys! You have fun, sweetie?" she asked rising. Denny reached for her. Danny just held to Mathew's neck. He handed Denny off as Anne pa.s.sed them towels to dry with.

"Why don't I take them up the boardwalk to put on their clothes so we can have lunch?" Anne asked.

"You sure you don't need help?" Mathew asked.

Anne frowned at him. Kim laughed. "Sweetie, Anne knows what she's doing."

"Oh! Yeah, of course. I just, um, here." He picked up the beach bag to hand it to her as Kim put sandals on Denny's feet and handed him to Anne. She did the same for Danny who was bold enough to walk with his sitter without a fuss.

"We'll catch up with you guys," Matt called after them.

Together, they watched Danny and Anne walk off with Denny in her arms. When he looked down to Kim, she was smiling up at him. Her auburn hair was thicker, bus.h.i.+er with frizzing curls behind an orange scarf. He touched her face to remove her sungla.s.ses. He preferred to look into her eyes. Kim wiped his chest with a hand towel.

"You ready to head back to the hotel?"

"Not yet," he said. "Come here."

She went into his arms. Mathew hugged her. They needed to talk. "Tonight I want to-"

"Talk?" she asked, her head popping up from his chest.

"Yes, talk. How about Dinner? Alone, the two of us."

"Okay," she agreed.

"You look beautiful, Kim."

"I feel beautiful," she said, throwing her arms around his neck. "Now shut up and kiss me."

He did. His lips parted hers and he greeted her slow moving tongue. The minty taste of her gum flavored breath filled his mouth as curves so soft and warm pressed into him, he went hard for her all over. He took his time to claim her, running his hands down her backside to enjoy the pleasures of being her man. He would devour her if it were possible. Naturally, the kiss came to an end. Their lips parted, but the ache in his groin throbbed painfully. Mathew ignored what felt natural between them. It was common practice since he reclaimed her heart. He found sustenance in his just having her in his arms again.

"Where do you want to go for dinner?" she asked.

"The cabin. I'll cook for you."

Kim shook her head. "How about I cook? You and your family have been so nice. I want to. Give me the key and I'll go to the grocery store and get some things. What you think? Anne can keep the boys and we can be alone."

"I love your cooking." He lifted her in his arms. She squealed but held to his neck. "Now come on and play with me."

"Matt, no!"

He ran her toward the water while she kicked and screamed.

"Hi."

"Hi, how are you?" Simone asked.

Kim situated the phone between her shoulder and cheek as she removed her famous baked macaroni and cheese from the oven with mitts. "I'm good. Just finis.h.i.+ng dinner." She put the ca.s.serole dish on the stove. She stepped back to inspect the roast as it simmered in the baking bag with carrots and potatoes.

"Cooking, huh? Mama swears you won't be coming back. She's all upset over it. Daddy of course is constantly in her face. Kim, those two are just weird. She claims she can't stand him, but walks around here all dolled up waiting for him to arrive. I think they're sleeping together again," Simone whispered.

Kim closed the oven. "Yuck."

"Exactly," Simone sighed.

"Don't try to understand them. Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll blow over. Now tell me what's up with you? I saw on the news that Keith was released. They said he was beaten up in prison? Is that true?"

"Girl, it's been a crazy week. I got so much to tell you. But yeah, he got out on a gazillion dollar bail. And now the federal prosecutors are investigating Cain. He has a deal with them though, so I don't know. It's all a big mess."

"But is it true? Was Keith embezzling?"

"I dunno, girl. He's a lot of things, but he's too pompous to be a thief.. It's his problem though. My annulment is signed, sealed, and delivered. Our life together never was. Anyways that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. I want to know when you're coming back? We're in the Hamptons, for now. I need to go back to Castle Rock soon. I have to get my things. It's best I do it now while Keith is distracted with all this. I just don't know about leaving Mama with Daddy. I'm not sure he won't hurt her again, Kim."

"Yeah, I understand."

"So? When are you coming back?" Simone asked.

"I'm not sure." Kim answered.

"Huh? Did you say that you don't know?"

Kim dropped a hip to the kitchen counter, choosing her words carefully. "I said I'm not sure. Mathew and I are going to talk about it tonight. If Mama's with Daddy, he can handle her until I get there. How much trouble can they get into?"

"The house? We got Keith's name off the deed, but I want to sign it over to you, and kind of finalize things, Kim," Simone said.

"I know. Thank you for that. I really appreciate it, sweetie, I just. I need a little more time."

"Sounds like you're loving Carolina," Simone said.

Kim laughed. "You could say that."

"Well alright. As for Mom, I don't know, Kim. She's on edge more and more each day. I think she wants to drink. I can tell by how jumpy and irritable she is. She loves Daddy but he hurt her badly, and when she gets agitated like this. Maybe I'm worrying for nothing. You're right, I guess."

"She needs to see her sponsor. Get her to meet with him. I'll call her in the morning, okay? And, Simone, I want you to be careful. The annulment may be over but this thing with Keith isn't, I'm sure."

"Oh forget him. I'm doing great. Cain and I will be good. I gotta go. Will call you soon. Promise."

"Simone!"

"Love you, bye!"

Kim caught the dial tone next. She set her phone down. Simone's life was filled with more drama than hers. When did that happen? The sound of a truck engine gunning up the drive announced his arrival. Kim's eyes lifted to the window above the sink. She saw Mathew driving around to the back of the cabin. She fussed with her hair. It took her d.a.m.n near two hours to straighten all the frizzies away. This evening she'd chosen a yellow summer dress she bought in one of the boutiques one afternoon, shopping with Anne while he was with the boys. Holding her tummy in, she put on her best smile, turning for the back door. Mathew came in, head bowed with flowers, a bunch of wild daises with long stems. He looked up and paused under the threshold.

"For me?" she feigned shock.

He closed the door eyeing her from head to toe.

"Ah, Matt, are those for me?" she chuckled.

He looked to the flowers in his hand realizing he clutched them so tight he broke a few stems. He nodded and held them out. "For you."

Kim accepted the gift, inhaling the floral majesty from their soft white petals. "They're so pretty. I love them."

"Mmm," he said looking her over again.

Kim spun around revealing how the backless dress swayed around her hips. "Like?"

"Like," he nodded. His brows drew together curiously as he looked past her to the stove. "Dinner ready?"

"Almost." Kim turned with him trailing. She sought the vase from the cabinets that she'd seen under the sink. "Let me guess. You stopped by the hotel to check on the boys?" She peeked back over her shoulder.

"Sorry, darlin', but I had to."

"Had to, huh?"

"I'll explain it later." He winked. Kim lifted the vase carefully, taking it to the faucet to fill with water. Mathew was in the kitchen drawer. He pulled it open to get a spoon and then proceeded to the stove. She put the flowers in the vase and watched him curiously. Before she could object, he scooped out the corner of her masterpiece and sampled.

"Mathew! What are you doing?" she s.n.a.t.c.hed the spoon with one hand and pushed him away with the other. He winked and walked out chewing. Kim frowned at her macaroni. She turned down the heat on her roast and hurried out of the kitchen after him. She found him standing in front of the intimate setting she prepared. He looked back at her, perplexed.

"Been busy, huh?"

"For you," she nodded. The table was especially set for the evening. First, she pushed it toward the front of the cabin, in front of the large picture windows. She'd drawn the curtains all the way back, so the view of his family's land and all the weeping willow trees could be their backdrop. Then she called his sister who arrived with all the little things she didn't have, including the blue linen tablecloth and fine china trimmed in gold. It belonged to his mother. She hadn't planned on the extravagance, but if they were going to talk about the 'ever after', then maybe it was appropriate. Kim liked her sweet yet direct manner, especially the way she politely put her on notice about her brother's heart. They talked, and Kim was honest about her mistakes. She figured Mathew had shared some of them with his closest sibling. What she found instead of rejection was acceptance. They understood each other.

Kim stepped behind him. "Do you like it?"

"I wanted to do something nice for you."

Kim hugged him from behind. She squeezed his solid frame, burying her face in the center of his back. "Don't. Don't think you have to do anything. This is enough."

Mathew pulled her around to face him. She felt so light headed when he towered over her. "It's not enough. I need more, and you need more. Right?" he cupped her chin and lifted it when her eyes dropped away. Right?"

"I just need a fresh start, a new beginning. That's what this feels like. You and me, the boys. It feels like our do over."

"And Charleston? How does that feel?" Mathew asked. She sensed there was more behind the question. She hoped there was, because she was ready to give him an answer. As crazy as it was, she could call this place home.

"It feels right," she answered. Kim knew in her heart from the moment that she stepped off the plane, from the moment she saw the kids on bikes, and the people sitting on porches, that this place could be special. Her heartbeat skipped. She felt her stomach clench and twist. "I wanted to talk to you about that, Matt. About us staying together."

"Let me go first," he said, then got down on one knee. Kim's smile slowly eased from her lips. She stepped back. What was he doing? He wasn't doing what she thought he was. G.o.d help her, was he?

"Kimberly Jensen, I've spent a very long time searching for what I've found with you. I know we've only known each other for a few months. I know we've been to h.e.l.l and back. I know you have a lot to do to recover. I want to know if you will do it all with me. Kim, will you marry me?" Taking her hand he eased a ring on her finger. Kim stood there staring down at the jewel in reserved shock. He smiled up at her, and within that smile she saw how much he loved her. It was devotion she didn't believe herself worthy of. Not yet.

"The ma-meat's burning," she stammered before hurrying out of the room. She wasn't able to surrender. G.o.d help her, but she couldn't do it. It wasn't until she was in the kitchen that she could breathe again. She stopped at the stove and sucked down several deep breaths. She was such an idiot. Did she just run from the man she loved? Did she do that? Why did she do that? She slapped her forehead. Even now, she was self-destructing. Here she was ready to propose that they shack up together, and he was offering her the world. Kim lifted her hand and smiled at the ring. This was her fresh start.

"Kim?"

Kim turned to find him just a step behind her. She thought he'd be angry. She swore she wouldn't hurt him. Running out on his proposal was an awfully cowardly thing to do. "I'm so sorry, Matt. I didn't mean to act like that," she said.

"Hey! Don't. Don't cry. It's okay. I shocked you. I get it."

"No. I love you. I'm sorry. I do love you. I love you a lot," Kim said.

He took hold of her. "It's okay. Look at me, Kim. It's okay."

Kimberly found herself in his arms. How could she question this next step after all they shared? The embrace sealed him to her. She could relax in his arms, always. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. We're fine. I want to show you something." He let her go. Kim wiped at her eyes confused. Short of breath, she was panicking again. She had to relax. Relax and let go. Mathew either didn't notice or chose to ignore her distress. Instead he removed his phone. Curious, she observed as he ran his thumb over the display. Who was he calling?

"I had to make a stop before I came."

He gave her the phone. A mini video played. It was the hotel room and her boys on the bed.

"Okay, boys, sit still for me. Right here. Remember what we talked about?"

Danny fell back on the bed then rolled over and away. Denny just blinked into the camera phone curiously. Mathew had to reach for Danny and set him up straight again. The boys were side by side when he gave it another try.