Dead End Dating - Dead And Dateless Part 16

"Two things we have in common. Being conscientious and reliable. I'm both." She smiled. "We're going to be like two peas in a pod."

Maybe an alien pod.

"I can't believe I was so worried," she went on. "Jack and I both were, but I think everything went really well. I mean, except for your brother getting hit and kicked. But otherwise, I think it was probably typical of your usual family get-together."

Okay. I don't like to be the bearer of bad news, but I felt it my responsibility to clue this girl in on what she was up against. I mean, I would want to know if the love of my life's mother completely and totally hated my guts.

"Mandy."

"To think I actually bit off an entire manicure worrying over this meeting."

"Mandy."

"And I ate an entire box of Oreo cookies."

"Code blue!"

She snapped to attention. Her gaze collided with mine. "What? What is it?" Worry flashed in her eyes and my chest hitched.

"What's wrong?"

"I... That's a really cool shade of lipstick." I know, I know. I shouldn't be perpetuating the lie. But she would find out the truth soon enough, particularly when my parents showed up for tea tomorrow. If they showed up. In the meantime, what was wrong with a little hope? "So what is it? Sephora's Natural Wonder? MAC's Earth Works?"

"Mandy's Natural Lip Color."

Oh.

She smiled. "I don't wear much makeup. I don't usually have time for it." She glanced at her watch. "I took tomorrow off for the tea. It's my first day off in four years. Jack suggested I just take a half day, but I want us to have plenty of time to celebrate once the parents meet and we tell them that we're getting married."

"WHAT?".

Her face lit up. "I wasn't supposed to spill the news, but I'm so excited I just can't help myself. I have to tell someone." Her gaze collided with mine and I saw Jack poised on one knee, an engagement ring the size of a third world country in his right hand.

"Engaged? No way!" She nodded and I couldn't help my own smile even though I knew this was the worst possible thing that could happen as far as my mother was concerned.

Then again.My smile widened.

"This is the best thing that's ever happened to me," she rushed on, as she rummaged in her purse and pulled out the Third World country. She slid the ring onto her finger and held up her hand. "You won't tell him I told you, will you? We agreed to tell our parents first. Together." She clasped her hand to her chest and gave me a pleading look.

"My lips are sealed."

Not to mention that Jack and I haven't had an actual conversation since... I don't think we'd ever had an actual conversation.

Name-calling, yes. But nothing that qualified as an actual exchange of relevant information.

"I can't wait for tomorrow." She fanned her fingers and the ring glittered in the darkness. "It's going to be the most thrilling day of my life. I mean, other than the day I got engaged. And the day Jack rolled into the morgue. And last Thursday when he and I rented this suite at the Waldorf. We took a champagne bath together and rolled around on a bed full of rose petals and read poetry to each other."

"That's, um, sweet." In a gross way. The guy was my brother.

"My parents are going to be ecstatic," she rushed on. "And I'm sure your parents will be thrilled, too. Who wouldn't want their five-hundred-and-thirty-five-year-old son to finally settle down?"

When I started to open my mouth, she held up a hand. "I know I'm not a born vampire and I'm not exactly French, but I'm a nice girl. I'm from a good family. An old family. We've been around forever, so it's kind of like we're immortal. We've played crucial roles in several key events in history and have even been mentioned in several history books."

"You don't say?"

She nodded. "My great, great, great, great grandfather came over on the Mayflower and my great, great, great, great uncle Radcliffe rode with Paul Revere, and my great, great, great aunt Millicent was burned at the stake during the Salem witch trials and-"

"Whoa, back it up. What did you just say?"

"My family can be traced all the way back to the Mayflower." She radiated pride.

"Not that part. The other part."

"Uncle Radcliffe?"

"Fast forward."

"Aunt Millicent?"

"Bingo."

"I was saving that surprise for tomorrow." Her smile widened and a sick feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. "It turns out I'm not so human after all. They say my aunt Millicent was one of the most powerful witches of her time and since I'm her direct descendant, that means I have Other DNA flowing through my veins. Not that I know how to cast a spell or anything like that.

The closest I've ever come is watching reruns of Charmed. But still, it's something, right?" She beamed. "I can't wait to tell your folks. They're going to flip!"

"They're going to flip, all right." I had the sudden vision of my mother, fangs bared, going for Mandy's silken white throat, and panic rushed through me.Not your business, a voice whispered.

The same voice that said better you than me when it came to my mother's wrath.

Still. We're talking fangs, and just because of a little DNA glitch.

"You know, Mandy, you might want to keep that little piece of information to yourself. You're a terrific girl. Smart. Attractive."

"Really attractive," the cabbie added from the front seat. He flashed a smile in the mirror. "Sorry, it's just that you're really pretty.

And so are you." His gaze s.h.i.+fted to me.

"Uh, thanks." Not. "Anyhow, where was I? Oh, yeah. Attractive. And outgoing. And fun loving."

"And an award winner," she added. "I've been Neighbor of the Month for six months in a row. I'm never home and so it's impossible for me to disturb anyone."

"A multiple award winner," I added. "And smart."

"You already said that."

"Did I?" I shook my head. "My point is, you've got it going on. You know it. Everyone knows it. So what's the use of bragging?"

Excitement faded into worry. "You really think it would sound like bragging?"

I nodded. "And who needs it? I mean, my folks already love you, right?" It's not like I was saying they loved her, or even implying it. I was posing a question.

I slid my hand down next to me and crossed my fingers anyway.

"You really think they love me? I know they like me. But love?" Hope filled her gaze as it met mine and my chest hitched again.

My mouth opened on its own. "Sure, they do." I gave her a rea.s.suring smile. "As for tomorrow, don't worry about a thing.

They'll be thrilled."

I was so going to h.e.l.l for this if I ever got staked.

Or jail.

A strobe of red and blue lights cracked open the blackness just up ahead. A uniformed police officer appeared in the blaze of headlights and motioned for us to stop.

Uh-oh.

Chapter Nineteen.

It's okay, I told myself, my heart pounding, my gaze transfixed by the dizzying mix of red and blue that swirled atop the squad car that sat off to the side of the road.

Okay, okay, okay.

Previous Top Next.i.t's just the police.

On the corner of my parents' street. In the middle of the night. While I'm on the run for murder.

This was so not okay.

My heart jumped into my throat and my nerves started to buzz.

No need to panic. Just stay calm and cool. You're a vampire, remember? It's like having a Get out of Jail Free card.

They walk up and you vamp them. Simple.

Unless, of course, it was a female cop.

My gaze sliced through the darkness. Oh, man.

Female cop equals major complication. I couldn't vamp her unless she happened to like women instead of men.

Or both.

I held tight to the possibility and braced myself as the female officer walked to the driver's window and tapped the edge of a flashlight against the gla.s.s. She wore the typical cop's attire, her blond hair tucked up beneath her cap. A subtle swipe of Maybelline's Cotton Candy on her full lips was the only thing that hinted she was a female. Well, that and her sizeable b.o.o.bs.

Not that I normally notice the size of another woman's chest, but they were right there and they were big. Her b.u.t.tons tugged, threatening to break free every time she took a breath.

"Roll it down," she told the cabbie.

He punched the b.u.t.ton and the gla.s.s hummed its way down. The officer trained a flashlight on the driver, who promptly handed over his license and registration, along with a frantic explanation.

"It wasn't me," he blurted. "I didn't lay a hand on her. She hit her face on the door all by herself. Granted, we were arguing and I should have just turned and walked away just like they said to do in anger management, but then she started talking about my mother and I couldn't actually walk on account of my legs were shaking. She really hates my mother and the woman is practically a saint who raised me all by herself and worked two jobs. She doesn't mean to call ten times a day. She's just concerned. I'm all she has.

"But Jeanine doesn't get that," the cabbie rushed on. "She's jealous. Crazy jealous. But I held it together this time and I didn't hit her. I swear. I hit the door, but not her, and then I slammed the door and she was on the other side and it sort of hit her face, but it wasn't like I did it directly. I haven't laid one hand on her since the last time and-"

"Calm down, Mister... Wiley," the officer read the name on the ID, "this is just a routine stop."

"In that case, you're one beautiful woman." He stared directly at her chest. "And I do mean beautiful."

"Can it, Romeo. Who's with you?" The beam s.h.i.+fted to Mandy, who sat directly behind the driver.

Mandy pulled out her hospital badge and held it out to the officer. "I'm a doctor."

"Is that right?"

"Well, a resident. But it's still a doctor. I work at the ME's office in the city. I was just having a nightcap with my future in-laws and my future sister-in-law." She spared me a smile before flas.h.i.+ng her left hand. The ma.s.sive diamond caught the glare of the flashlight and sparkle of light streaked across the cab's interior. "I'm getting married."

"Congratulations." The beam s.h.i.+fted to me and I stiffened.

Lights, camera, action!

"Hi." My lips tilted in a s.e.xy, inviting smile. s.e.xy was the key. And sultry. And seductive. This woman was going to fall hook, line, and sinker for me.

And if not?

I inched my right hand toward the door handle.

"Name?" she snapped as my fingers tightened around the slim handle and pulled.

Nothing. My gaze s.h.i.+fted to the lock b.u.t.ton.

"Miss?"

My attention swiveled back. "Yes?"

"Your name?" the officer prodded.

"Vanderflunkinpitt," I blurted. s.e.xy, you idiot! "But you can call me Bambi." Bambi? Hey, I'm a vampire, not an actress.

Besides, I was nervous and disappointed and desperate, and so I wasn't thinking clearly. "But enough about me. What about you, Officer..." My gaze dropped to the nametag on her uniform. "Morris?"