Dead End Dating - Dead And Dateless Part 25

"They're all dead. But I do have a widow lady who lives down the hall from me."

"Does she have a friend?"

"She's got a twin sister. They just celebrated their eightieth birthdays. Why? You thinking about a menage a trots for the something special?"

"Not for Esther. For Morty and Ernest." I gave her the details on the two old men.

"They're interested in our services?"

"Well, no. Not yet." But once I talked to them when I went to pick up the care package Evie was going to send, I was certain they would want to add their names to the ever growing list of Dead End Dating clients.

At least that's what I was hoping.With both Evie and me so focused on fulfilling Viola's request, we'd sort of forgotten about any continued advertising efforts.

Sure, we had clients now, but when all was said and done?

I wasn't going to worry over that now. I couldn't. As far as I was concerned, my world didn't extend beyond Friday and the numerous things I had to do to get ready for Viola and the NUNS.

I went over the alpha list with Evie and instructed her to double-check with each of the men to make sure they knew when and where to go on Friday.

I was this close to hanging up and avoiding any and all distractions when I heard myself blurt, "Did my mother call?"

Oy, what the h.e.l.l was wrong with me?

Guilt, that's what. I hadn't checked my voice mail since I'd called Max and asked him to make my excuses for missing the tea/intervention.

"Eight times," Evie informed me.

"That's not too bad." I'd expected at least a dozen.

"That's eight times today. She called fifteen times yesterday. She said you can't be having that much s.e.x and that you should call her." I could hear the smile in Evie's voice. "Did you tell her about the bounty hunter?"

"I'm not with the bounty hunter. I had to miss a family function for obvious reasons and I told her I had a new boyfriend so that she would forgive the absence."

"She didn't sound forgiving. Then again, she didn't sound mad, either. Just upset. She kept going on and on about someone named Mandy who was ruining your brother's life."

Obviously the intervention hadn't worked and Jack and Mandy had announced the news about the wedding.

"That was yesterday," Evie went on. "Today she sounded more medicated."

"She drinks when she's upset."

"That explains why she kept mumbling something about burning Mandy at the stake."

Obviously, the wedding hadn't been the only news.

"Either that, or she was hungry for a steak and she wanted to take Mandy along."

I voted for the first one.

"Anyway, she wants you to call her. I told her you might not be able to because of being wanted by the police."

"What did she say to that?"

"That she's sacrificed years of her life to nurture and raise you. The least you can do is spare her a measly five minutes."

Jacqueline Marchette hadn't been named the CEO of Guilt for nothing.

I finished my call with Evie and then turned my attention to the pen and paper in front of me to outline a makeover plan for Lloyd.I'd barely managed to write my mission statement when I felt Ty's gaze.

I glanced up and met his neon blue stare. "What?"

"I've finished checking out the suspects on your list."

"And?"

"And other than a half dozen fellow shoppers who'd like to see you tarred and feathered and hanging from the Empire State building, I've got zilch."

"A half dozen doesn't sound like zilch."

"They all have solid alibis, sugar. Which means we're back to square one. We need someone with a real motive." He pushed to his feet and paced toward the window. "Whoever's doing this has it in for you in the worst way. We're talking intense hatred. On top of that, they obviously know you well enough to know just how to get to you." His gaze zeroed in on me again. "To hurt you." A light fired his eyes a bright blue. "You have to think, Lil. I need someone else. Otherwise..."

Otherwise I wasn't going to get out of this mess.

I would be on the run for the rest of my life. Forget Viola and the NUNS. I wouldn't need them because I wouldn't be a matchmaker. I would be a fugitive.

I swallowed as the truth weighed down on me. My gaze fell to the outline I'd just started and I read the first sentence: Make Lloyd as attractive as possible to the werewolf with the Alpha Doody fetish.

My gaze lingered on the werewolf.

"There has to be someone."

Or something.

"The jealous werewolf," I blurted, my mind racing back to the night of the annual Midnight Soiree sponsored by my mother's huntress club. "Remember the night I unveiled the new Francis to the rest of born vamp society? That was the night I ran the little experiment with Wilson and Nina to see if they liked each other. Namely, I set them each up with someone else to make the other jealous. And it worked. Not that that's the point. The point is, the setup also made someone else jealous. Ayala's ex- werewolf lover. He showed up ready to take Wilson out. That's when I got staked." That would explain the DNA evidence. I bled all over the place.

It wasn't like I'd been able to stand idly by and let a crazed Other stake my best friend's intended. I'd intervened, of course, and I'd gotten it in the shoulder.

"My brothers took him out," I told Ty. "After I fainted, they attacked him."

"Which means he can't be out to get you."

"No, but his family might be. I know that if something happened to me, my family would be really p.i.s.sed." Then again, at the rate I was going... "Maybe they're mad enough to want to punish me."

"Did he have any family?"

"I'm sure he does. Everybody has family." Except made vampires.

I saw the strange look that pa.s.sed over his face and I had the sudden urge to reach out. Thankfully, the look pa.s.sed as quickly as it had come, and I stayed rooted to the couch.

He seemed to think. "It's possible."

"It's more than possible. That's it. It has to be it." I smiled. "It's his family. They have it in for me. That explains everything."

"Maybe" was all he said as he walked back to his laptop.

"A little enthusiasm wouldn't hurt, you know? Maybe a 'Gee, Lil, that's totally Einstein of you.' "

"You should have mentioned it in the first place."

"I didn't remember." In fact, I did my best not to remember getting staked. Not only had it hurt, but now I was forever linked to a made vampire who was so not my type.

I watched as he punched in some information and sent a few e-mails before pus.h.i.+ng to his feet.

"I've got some things to do. I'll be back."

I ignored the strange emptiness that settled around me whenever he walked out the door. Namely because I was not empty.

And I wanted him to walk out the door.

It made working and falling asleep easier when he wasn't a strip and a pounce away.

Much easier, I told myself, basking in the newfound information and turning my attention back to my makeover outline.

One problem down, one to go.

"It feels really warm," Lloyd said on Thursday night as I spread the warm wax onto his right shoulder.

I'd set up a chair in the storeroom of Morty's Commissary when I'd arrived just after sunset. After clearing some s.p.a.ce on one of the wall-to-wall shelves, between the Pringles and the Cheez Whiz, I'd unpacked the care package from Evie which had included not only the requested items, but a pair of latex gloves.

Yep, Evie and I were soul sisters, all right.

"It's sort of soothing," Lloyd said as I smoothed.

"Glad to hear you say that." I scooped more of the wax I'd just nuked in the small microwave that sat next to a Mr. Coffee on one of the shelves, and slathered it onto Lloyd's skin. "It's always best to focus on the positive in these kinds of situations."

As if the thought had just struck, he stiffened. "It's not going to hurt, is it?"

"Maybe a little."

"How little?"

"Relax. Women do it all the time. It can't be that bad, right?"

"True."

I rubbed a piece of cloth over the wax, gripped the edge and rrrrrrip!Lloyd screamed.

Then again, women gave birth all the time, too, and it was common knowledge that that hurt like a sonofab.i.t.c.h.

"There, there." I patted his opposite shoulder with my gloved hand. "It can't be that bad."

"You..." He panted. "It..." More panting. "I can't..." Inandoutandinandout.

"Easy, big guy. The first time is always the worst."

"R-really?" he finally managed after more panting interspersed with a little wheezing.

"Sure. From here on out, it's smooth sailing. See, your body is buzzing with intense pain which keeps it from noticing less intense pain." I smoothed more wax onto the next hairy patch and rubbed the cloth strip on top. "Just count to five, brace yourself, and I'll pull. Okay?"

His head bobbed and he rasped, "One, two, three-ffff.u.c.k!"

"I guess that one hurt, too?" He called me several choice names. "So much for the element of surprise." I smoothed more wax onto his ultra hairy skin. "If it's any consolation, you're starting to look mega hunky."

"R-really?"

I eyed the pink patches of raw skin and tried not to wince. "Sure."

"In that case, I g-guess it's w-worth it. You say this woman is really h-hot?"

"The hottest." At least, I was pretty sure, even though I hadn't actually met the Alpha Doody lover. Viola was attractive and weren't all werewolves just hairier, fangless versions of vampires? Since we were all real lookers, I was a.s.suming the same could be said for our fellow weres.

At least, I was hoping.

More smoothing, another rrrrrrip! and Lloyd burst into tears.

"There, there, Lloyd. It's just a little harmless wax. If you carry on like this, what's going to happen when I pull out the superglue?"

Chapter Twenty-seven.

I stared into the small bathroom mirror early Friday evening and eyed my reflection. I wore my black and white Diane von Furstenberg wrap dress with the cap sleeves and my python and leather Vivia sandals-the same outfit I'd been wearing when Ty and I had fled from the cops.

While it wasn't my first choice-which would be my black Dolce & Gabbana suit with the Frances...o...b..asia bag-for meeting my most important client to date, it would have to do.

At least I hadn't been snuggled in Ty's bed wearing boxers and a ratty old tee when the cops had shown up. Talk about deep s.h.i.+t.

Previous Top NextI drew in a full, easy breath in an effort to ease the frantic pounding of my heart.

No luck.

I killed the whole breathing effort, gathered my courage, and reached for the doork.n.o.b. My heart beat a Metallica drum solo as I walked out of the bathroom and headed for the kitchen, where Ty sat hunched over his laptop.