The Help. Part 30

"No. Church already set up a plan to pay the lawyer. To keep him on for when she come up for parole." Aibileen lets her head hang. I'm sure it's out of grief for Yule May, but I suspect she also knows the book is over. "They gone be seniors by the time she get out. Court give her four years and a five hundred dollar fine."

"I'm so sorry, Aibileen," I say. I glance around at the people in the room, their heads bowed as if looking at me might burn them. I look down.

"She evil, that woman!" Minny barks from the other side of the sofa and I flinch, hoping she doesn't mean me.

"Hilly Holbrook been sent up here from the devil to ruirn as many lives as she can!" Minny wipes her nose across her sleeve.

"Minny, it's alright," the reverend says. "We'll find something we can do for her." I look at the drawn faces, wondering what that thing could possibly be.

The room goes unbearably quiet again. The air is hot and smells like burned coffee. I feel a profound singularity, here, in a place where I've almost grown comfortable. I feel the heat of dislike and guilt.

The bald reverend wipes his eyes with a handkerchief. "Thank you, Aibileen, for having us in your home for prayer." People begin to stir, telling each other good night with solemn nods. Handbags are picked up, hats are put on heads. The reverend opens the door, letting in the damp outside air. A woman with curly gray hair and a black coat follows close behind him, but then stops in front of me where I'm standing with my satchel.

Her raincoat falls open a little to reveal a white uniform.

"Miss Skeeter," she says, without a smile, "I'm on help you with the stories."

I turn and look at Aibileen. Her eyebrows go up, her mouth opens. I turn back to the woman but she is already walking out the door.

"I'm on help you, Miss Skeeter." This is another woman, tall and lean, with the same quiet look as the first.

"Um, thank . . . you," I say.

"I am too, Miss Skeeter. I'm on help you." A woman in a red coat walks by quickly, doesn't even meet my eyes.

After the next one, I start counting. Five. Six. Seven. I nod back at them, can say nothing but thank you. Thank you. Yes, thank you, to each one. My relief is bitter, that it took Yule May's internment to bring us to this.

Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. No one is smiling when they tell me they want to help. The room clears out, except for Minny. She stands in the far corner, arms clamped across her chest. When everyone is gone, she looks up and meets my gaze for hardly a second then jerks her eyes to the brown curtains, pinned tight across the window. But I see it, the flicker on her mouth, a hint of softness beneath her anger. Minny has made this happen.

WITH EVERYONE TRAVELING, our group hasn't played bridge in a month. On Wednesday, we meet at Lou Anne Templeton's house, greet with hand-patting and good-to-see-yous.

"Lou Anne, you poor thing, in those long sleeves in this heat. Is it the eczema again?" Elizabeth asks because Lou Anne's wearing a gray wool dress in the heat of summer.

Lou Anne looks at her lap, clearly embarra.s.sed. "Yes, it's getting worse."

But I cannot stand to touch Hilly when she reaches out to me. When I back away from her hug, she acts like she doesn't notice. But during the game, she keeps looking at me with narrowed eyes.

"What are you going to do?" Elizabeth asks Hilly. "You're welcome to bring the children over any time, but . . . well . . ." Before bridge club, Hilly dropped Heather and William at Elizabeth's for Aibileen to look after while we play bridge. But I already know the message in Elizabeth's sour smile: she wors.h.i.+ps Hilly, but Elizabeth does not care to share her help with anybody.

"I knew it. I knew that girl was a thief the day she started." As Hilly tells us the story of Yule May, she makes a big circle with her finger to indicate a huge stone, the unimaginable worth of the "ruby."

"I caught her taking the milk after it expired and that's how it starts, you know, first it's was.h.i.+ng powder, then they work their way up to towels and coats. Before you know it, they're taking the heirlooms, hocking them for liquor pints. G.o.d knows what else she took."

I fight the urge to snap each of her flapping fingers in half, but I hold my tongue. Let her think everything is fine. It is safer for everyone.

After the game, I rush home to prepare for Aibileen's that night, relieved there's not a soul in the house. I quickly flip through Pascagoula's messages for me--Patsy my tennis partner, Celia Foote, whom I hardly know. Why would Johnny Foote's wife be calling me? Minny's made me swear I'll never call her back, and I don't have the time to wonder. I have to get ready for the interviews.

I SIT AT AIBILEEN'S KITCHEN table at six o'clock that night. We've arranged for me to come over nearly every night until we're finished. Every two days, a different colored woman will knock on Aibileen's back door and sit at the table with me, tell me her stories. Eleven maids have agreed to talk to us, not counting Aibileen and Minny. That puts us at thirteen and Missus Stein asked for a dozen, so I think we're lucky. Aibileen stands in the back of the kitchen, listening. The first maid's name is Alice. I don't ask for last names.

I explain to Alice that the project is a collection of true stories about maids and their experiences waiting on white families. I hand her an envelope with forty dollars from what I've saved from the Miss Myrna column, my allowance, money Mother has forced into my hands for beauty parlor appointments I never went to.

"There's a good chance it may never be published," I tell each individually, "and even if it is, there will be very little money from it." I look down the first time I say this, ashamed, I don't know why. Being white, I feel it's my duty to help them.

"Aibileen been clear on that," several say. "That ain't why I'm doing this."

I repeat back to them what they've already decided among themselves. That they need to keep their ident.i.ties secret from anyone outside the group. Their names will be changed on paper; so will the name of the town and the families they've worked for. I wish I could slip in, as the last question, "By the way, did you know Constantine Bates?" but I'm pretty sure Aibileen would tell me it's a bad idea. They're scared enough as it is.

"Now, Eula, she gone be like prying a dead clam open." Aibileen preps me before each interview. She's as afraid as I am that I'll scare them off before it even starts. "Don't get frustrated if she don't say much."

Eula, the dead clam, starts talking before she's even sat in the chair, before I can explain anything, not stopping until ten o'clock that night.

"When I asked for a raise they gave it to me. When I needed a house, they bought me one. Doctor Tucker came over to my house himself and picked a bullet out my husband's arm because he was afraid Henry'd catch something at the colored hospital. I have worked for Doctor Tucker and Miss Sissy for forty-four years. They been so good to me. I wash her hair ever Friday. I never seen that woman wash her own hair." She stops for the first time all night, looks lonesome and worried. "If I die before her, I don't know what Miss Sissy gone do about getting her hair washed."

I try not to smile too eagerly. I don't want to look suspicious. Alice, f.a.n.n.y Amos, and Winnie are shy, need coaxing, keep their eyes down to their laps. Flora Lou and Cleontine let the doors fly open and the words tumble out while I type as fast as I can, asking them every five minutes to please, please, slow down. Many of the stories are sad, bitter. I expected this. But there are a surprising number of good stories too. And all of them, at some point, look back at Aibileen as if to ask, Are you sure? Can I really tell a white woman this? Are you sure? Can I really tell a white woman this?

"Aibileen? What's gone happen if... this thing get printed and people find out who we are?" shy Winnie asks. "What you think they do to us?"

Our eyes form a triangle in the kitchen, one looking at the other. I take a deep breath, ready to a.s.sure her of how careful we're being.

"My husband cousin... they took her tongue out. A while back it was. For talking to some Was.h.i.+ngton people about the Klan. You think they gone take our tongues? For talking to you?"

I don't know what to say. Tongues Tongues . . . G.o.d, this hadn't exactly crossed my mind. Only jail and perhaps fake charges or fines. "I . . . we're being extremely careful," I say but it comes out thin and unconvincing. I look at Aibileen, but she is looking worried too. . . . G.o.d, this hadn't exactly crossed my mind. Only jail and perhaps fake charges or fines. "I . . . we're being extremely careful," I say but it comes out thin and unconvincing. I look at Aibileen, but she is looking worried too.

"We won't know till the time comes, Winnie," Aibileen says softly. "Won't be like what you see on the news, though. A white lady do things different than a white man."

I look at Aibileen. She's never shared with me the specifics of what she thinks would happen. I want to change the subject. It won't do us any good to discuss it.

"Naw." Winnie shakes her head. "I reckon not. Fact, a white lady might do worse."

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" Mother calls from the relaxing room. I have my satchel and the truck keys. I keep heading for the door.

"To the movies," I call.

"You went to the movies last night. Come here, Eugenia."

I backtrack, stand in the doorway. Mother's ulcers have been acting up. At supper she's been eating nothing but chicken broth, and I feel bad for her. Daddy went to bed an hour ago, but I can't stay here with her. "I'm sorry, Mother, I'm late. Do you want me to bring you anything?"

"What movie and with whom? You've been out almost every night this week."

"Just . . . some girls. I'll be home by ten. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she sighs. "Go on, then."

I head to the car, feeling guilty because I'm leaving Mother alone when she's not feeling well. Thank G.o.d Stuart's in Texas because I doubt I could lie to him so easily. When he came over three nights ago, we sat out on the porch swing listening to the crickets. I was so tired from working late the night before, I could barely keep my eyes open, but I didn't want him to leave. I lay with my head in his lap. I reached up and rubbed my hand against the bristles on his face.

"When're you going to let me read something you've written?" he asked.

"You can read the Miss Myrna column. I did a great piece on mildew last week."

He smiled, shook his head. "No, I mean I want to read what you're thinking thinking. I'm pretty sure it's not about housekeeping."

I wondered then, if he knew I was hiding something from him. It scared me that he might find out about the stories, and thrilled me that he was even interested.

"When you're ready. I won't push you," he said.

"Maybe sometime I'll let you," I said, feeling my eyes close.

"Go to sleep, baby," he said, stroking my hair back from my face. "Let me just sit here with you for a while."

With Stuart out of town for the next six days, I can concentrate solely on the interviews. I head to Aibileen's every night as nervous as the first time. The women are tall, short, black like asphalt or caramel brown. If your skin is too white, I'm told, you'll never get hired. The blacker the better. The talk turns mundane at times, with complaints of low pay, hard hours, bratty children. But then there are stories of white babies dying in arms. That soft, empty look in their still blue eyes.

"Olivia she was called. Just a tiny baby, with her tiny hand holding on to my finger, breathing so hard," f.a.n.n.y Amos says, our fourth interview. "Her mama wasn't even home, gone to the store for mentholatum. It was just me and the daddy. He wouldn't let me put her down, told me to hold her till the doctor get there. Baby grew cold in my arms."

There is undisguised hate for white women, there is inexplicable love. Faye Belle, palsied and gray-skinned, cannot remember her own age. Her stories unfold like soft linen. She remembers hiding in a steamer trunk with a little white girl while Yankee soldiers stomped through the house. Twenty years ago, she held that same white girl, by then an old woman, in her arms while she died. Each proclaimed their love as best friends. Swore that death could not change this. That color meant nothing. The white woman's grandson still pays Faye Belle's rent. When she's feeling strong, Faye Belle sometimes goes over and cleans up his kitchen.

Louvenia is my fifth interview. She is Lou Anne Templeton's maid and I recognize her from serving me at bridge club. Louvenia tells me how her grandson, Robert, was blinded earlier this year by a white man, because he used a white bathroom. I recall reading about it in the paper as Louvenia nods, waits for me to catch up on my typewriter. There is no anger in her voice at all. I learn that Lou Anne, whom I find dull and vapid and have never paid much mind to, gave Louvenia two weeks off with pay so she could help her grandson. She brought ca.s.seroles to Louvenia's house seven times during those weeks. She rushed Louvenia to the colored hospital when the first call came about Robert and waited there six hours with her, until the operation was over. Lou Anne has never mentioned this to any of us. And I understand completely why she wouldn't.

Angry stories come out, of white men who've tried to touch them. Winnie said she was forced over and over. Cleontine said she fought until his face bled and he never tried again. But the dichotomy of love and disdain living side-by-side is what surprises me. Most are invited to attend the white children's weddings, but only if they're in their uniforms. These things I know already, yet hearing them from colored mouths, it is as if I am hearing them for the first time.

WE CANNOT Talk for several minutes after Gretchen's left.

"Let's just move on," Aibileen says. "We don't got to... count that one."

Gretchen is Yule May's first cousin. She attended the prayer meeting for Yule May that Aibileen hosted weeks ago, but she belongs to a different church.

"I don't understand why she agreed if . . ." I want to go home. The tendons in my neck have locked tight. My fingers are trembling from typing and from listening to Gretchen's words.

"I'm sorry, I had no idea she gone do that."

"It's not your fault," I say. I want to ask her how much of what Gretchen said is true. But I can't. I can't look Aibileen in the face.

I'd explained the "rules" to Gretchen, just like with the others. Gretchen had leaned back in her chair. I thought she was thinking about a story to tell. But she said, "Look at you. Another white lady trying to make a dollar off of colored people."

I glanced back at Aibileen, not sure how to respond to this. Was I not clear on the money part? Aibileen tilted her head like she wasn't sure she'd heard correctly.

"You think anybody's ever going to read this thing?" Gretchen laughed. She was trim in her uniform dress. She wore lipstick, the same color pink me and my friends wore. She was young. She spoke evenly and with care, like a white person. I don't know why, but that made it worse.

"All the colored women you've interviewed, they've been real nice, haven't they?"

"Yes," I'd said. "Very nice."

Gretchen looked me straight in the eye. "They hate you. You know that, right? Every little thing about you. But you're so dumb, you think you're doing them a favor."

"You don't have to do this," I said. "You volunteered--"

"You know the nicest thing a white woman's ever done for me? Given me the heel on her bread. The colored women coming in here, they're just playing a big trick on you. They'll never tell you the truth, lady."

"You don't have any idea what the other women have told me," I said. I was surprised by how dense my anger felt, and how easily it sprang up.

"Say it, lady, say the word you think every time one of us comes in the door. n.i.g.g.e.r. n.i.g.g.e.r."

Aibileen stood up from her stool. "That's enough, Gretchen. You go on home."

"And you know what, Aibileen? You are just as dumb as she is," Gretchen said.

I was shocked when Aibileen pointed to the door and hissed, "You get out a my house."

Gretchen left, but through the screen door, she slapped me with a look so angry it gave me chills.

TWO NIGHTS LATER, I sit across from Callie. She has curly hair, mostly gray. She is sixty-seven years old and still in her uniform. She is wide and heavy and parts of her hang over the chair. I'm still nervous from the interview with Gretchen.

I wait for Callie to stir her tea. There's a grocery sack in the corner of Aibileen's kitchen. It's full of clothes, and a pair of white pants hangs over the top. Aibileen's house is always so neat. I don't know why she never does anything with that sack.

Callie begins talking slowly and I start to type, grateful of her slow pace. She stares off as if she can see a movie screen behind me, playing the scenes she's describing.

"I worked for Miss Margaret thirty-eight years. She had her a baby girl with the colic and the only thing that stopped the hurting was to hold her. So I made me a wrap. I tied her up on my waist, toted her around all day with me for a entire year. That baby like to break my back. Put ice packs on it ever night and still do. But I loved that girl. And I loved Miss Margaret."

She takes a sip of her tea while I type her last words. I look up and she continues.

"Miss Margaret always made me put my hair up in a rag, say she know coloreds don't wash their hair. Counted ever piece a silver after I done the polis.h.i.+ng. When Miss Margaret die of the lady problems thirty years later, I go to the funeral. Her husband hug me, cry on my shoulder. When it's over, he give me a envelope. Inside a letter from Miss Margaret reading, 'Thank you. For making my baby stop hurting. I never forgot it.'"

Callie takes off her black-rimmed gla.s.ses, wipes her eyes.

"If any white lady reads my story, that's what I want them to know. Saying thank you, when you really mean it, when you remember what someone done for you"--she shakes her head, stares down at the scratched table--"it's so good."

Callie looks up at me, but I can't meet her eyes.

"I just need a minute," I say. I press my hand on my forehead. I can't help but think about Constantine. I never thanked her, not properly. It never occurred to me I wouldn't have the chance.

"You feel okay, Miss Skeeter?" Aibileen asks.

"I'm . . . fine," I say. "Let's keep going."

Callie goes on to her next story. The yellow Dr. Scholl's s...o...b..x is on the counter behind her, still full of envelopes. Except for Gretchen, all ten women have asked that the money go toward Yule May's boys' education.

chapter 20.

THE PHELAN FAMILY stands tense, waiting on the brick steps of State Senator Whitworth's house. The house is in the center of town, on North Street. It is tall and white-columned, appropriately azalea-ed. A gold plaque declares it a historical landmark. Gas lanterns flicker despite the hot six o'clock sun.

"Mother," I whisper because I cannot repeat it enough times. "Please, please don't forget the thing we talked about."

"I said I wouldn't mention it, darling." She touches the pins holding up her hair. "Unless it's appropriate."