Take The Long Way Home Part 11

I originally wanted to call this story Left Behind. My attorney said we couldn't be sued for it, and I laughed with glee. But then a friend's more sensible head prevailed, and I changed the t.i.tle to Take The Long Way Home, which is also the t.i.tle of my favorite Supertramp song. I think I like this t.i.tle better.

Sadly, despite the best efforts of everyone involved, On A Pale Horse fell through. Luckily, Take The Long Way Home was published several years ago as a beautiful little limited edition hardcover. Then it was reprinted in my now out of print short story collection Unhappy Endings. And now Deadite Press has released this new edition.

The story itself is based on the primarily evangelical interpretation of the Biblical scriptures, specifically the Rapture and how it relates to the Second Coming of Christ. The 144,000 Jews who become Tribulation Saints are a part of this belief.

I was raised by two Irish-American Protestant parents, attended a Methodist church, and was even the president of the church youth group at one point, if you can dig that. My grandparents were Presbyterians, my extended family hardcore Southern Baptists, and I once dated a preacher's daughter. My point is; I was surrounded by religion, specifically Christianity, all through my childhood and teenage years. Readers have commented that my fiction seems to be primarily based on the Christian mythos-well, that's why.

Readers have also said that they see a deep schism; that I often depict G.o.d as the ultimate bad guy, and I think that's also a fair a.s.sumption. I trace that to adulthood. As a young man, I traveled the world and was exposed to many other religions and alternative ways of thinking. I came to realize that what I was brought up to believe wasn't the whole truth, the big picture, and that there were millions of other people whose ideas and faiths were just as valid and deep and personal.

I've gone through phases: occultism, powwow, paganism, Buddhism, atheism, and finally, agnosticism. At forty-three, I'm no longer sure what I believe, and that bothers me more and more each day. I believe in an afterlife, but I'm not sure that it's Heaven. I believe that there's something more to this world, to this universe, something behind the veil, but I'm not sure that it's G.o.d.

Sometimes, it seems like the more I learn, the less I know.

I do know this. I often feel like Steve does at the end of this story. Sometimes, that kid inside of me, the kid who read Marvel comic books and rode his BMX Mongoose and watched Land of the Lost and Six-Million Dollar Man, and listened to Rush and Ozzy Osbourne-and still made it to church every Sunday, speaks up and lets me know that he's still alive, that this cold, hard, cynical b.a.s.t.a.r.d I've become hasn't buried him completely. It is during these times that I remember exactly why I went to church each Sunday.

Fear.

Fear of getting spanked by my parents for not going; fear of not fitting in with my peers (because back then, most of the cool kids did indeed go to church); and most of all, fear of what G.o.d would do to me if I didn't.

Fear of G.o.d.

I like to think I'm a new world man. I don't think religion should have any place in our schools or government or courts. I think we should reach out to other cultures and ways of life, regardless of whether they believe in our G.o.d or their G.o.d or any G.o.d. In my novel Terminal, when Tommy O'Brien rants that religion has f.u.c.ked this planet up since day one, that's Brian Keene talking. It has. Most of the evils perpetrated by mankind aren't the work of the Devil, but can be traced back to religion; all done in G.o.d's name.

I'd like to think I've evolved beyond that. But then that kid inside of me, the one who made sure he sat still during the sermon and paid attention during Sunday school, speaks up, and reminds me of my fear.

I am afraid of G.o.d, and therefore, I believe.

I'm afraid not to.

Brian Keene.

January 2011.

BRIAN KEENE is the author of over twenty-five books, including Darkness on the Edge of Town, Urban Gothic, Castaways, Kill Whitey, Dark Hollow, Dead Sea, Ghoul and The Rising. He also writes comic books such as The Last Zombie, Doom Patrol and Dead of Night: Devil Slayer. His work has been translated into German, Spanish, Polish, Italian, French and Taiwanese. Several of his novels and stories have been optioned for film, one of which, The Ties That Bind, premiered on DVD in 2009 as a critically-acclaimed independent short. Keene's work has been praised in such diverse places as The New York Times, The History Channel, The Howard Stern Show, CNN.com, Publisher's Weekly, Fangoria Magazine, and Rue Morgue Magazine. Keene lives in Central Pennsylvania. You can communicate with him online at www.briankeene.com, on Facebook at www.facebook.com/pages/Brian-Keene/189077221397 or on Twitter at www.twitter.com/BrianKeene AVAILABLE FROM AMAZON.COM.

"Zombies and s.h.i.+t" Carlton Mellick III - Battle Royale meets Return of the Living Dead in this post-apocalyptic action adventure. Twenty people wake to find themselves in a boarded-up building in the middle of the zombie wasteland. They soon realize they have been chosen as contestants on a popular reality show called Zombie Survival. Each contestant is given a backpack of supplies and a unique weapon. Their goal: be the first to make it through the zombie-plagued city to the pick-up zone alive. A campy, trashy, punk rock gore fest.

AVAILABLE FROM AMAZON.COM.

"Apes.h.i.+t" Carlton Mellick III - Friday the 13th meets Visitor Q. Six hipster teens go to a cabin in the woods inhabited by a deformed killer. An incredibly f.u.c.ked-up parody of B-horror movies with a bizarro slant "The new gold standard in unstoppable fetus-f.u.c.king killfreakomania . . . Genuine all-meat hardcore horror meets unadulterated Bizarro brainwarp strangeness. The results are beyond jaw-dropping, and fill me with pure, unforgivable joy." - John Skipp AVAILABLE FROM AMAZON.COM.

"Super Fetus" Adam Pepper - Try to abort this fetus and he'll kick your a.s.s!

"The story of a self-aware fetus whose morally bankrupt mother is desperately trying to abort him. This darkly humorous novella will surely appall and upset a sizable percentage of people who read it . . . In-your-face, allegorical social commentary."

- Barnesandn.o.ble.com AVAILABLE FROM AMAZON.COM.

"The Book of a Thousand Sins" Wrath James White - Welcome to a world of Zombie nymphomaniacs, psychopathic deities, voodoo surgery, and murderous priests. Where mutilation s.e.x clubs are in vogue and torture machines are s.e.x toys. No one makes it out alive a not even G.o.d himself.

"If Wrath James White doesn't make you cringe, you must be riding in the wrong end of a hea.r.s.e."

-Jack Ketchum AVAILABLE FROM AMAZON.COM.

"The Haunter of the Threshold" Edward Lee - There is something very wrong with this backwater town. Suicide notes, magic gems, and haunted cabins await her. Plus the woods are filled with monsters, both human and otherworldly. And then there are the horrible tentacles . . . Soon Hazel is thrown into a battle for her life that will test her sanity and s.e.x drive. The sequel to H.P. Lovecraft's The Haunter of the Dark is Edward Lee's most p.o.r.nographic novel to date!

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"Bullet Through Your Face" Edward Lee - No writer is more extreme, perverted, or gross than Edward Lee. His world is one of psychopathic redneck rapists, s.e.x addicted demons, and s.e.m.e.n stealing aliens. Brace yourself, the king of splatters.p.u.n.k is guaranteed to shock, offend, and make you laugh until you vomit.

"Lee pulls no punches."

- Fangoria AVAILABLE FROM AMAZON.COM.

"Slaughterhouse High" Robert Devereaux - It's prom night in the Demented States of America. A place where schools are built with secret pa.s.sageways, rebellious teens get zippers installed in their mouths and genitals, and once a year one couple is slaughtered and the bits of their bodies are kept as souvenirs. But something's gone terribly wrong when the secret killer starts claiming a far higher body count than usual . . .

"A major talent!" - Poppy Z. Brite AVAILABLE FROM AMAZON.COM.

"The Vegan Revolution . . . with Zombies" David Agranoff - Thanks to a new miracle drug the cute little pig no longer feels a thing as she is led to the slaughter. The only problem? Once the drug enters the food supply anyone who eats it is infected. From fast food burgers to free-range organic eggs, eating animal products turns people into shambling brain-dead zombies a not even vegetarians are safe!

"A perfect blend of horror, humor and animal activism."

- Gina Ra.n.a.lli AVAILABLE FROM AMAZON.COM.

"Brain Cheese Buffet" Edward Lee - collecting nine of Lee's most sought after tales of violence and body fluids. Featuring the Stoker nominated "Mr. Torso," the legendary gross-out piece "The Dritiphilist," the notorious "The McCrath Model SS40-C, Series S," and six more stories to test your gag reflex.

"Edward Lee's writing is fast and mean as a chain saw revved to full-tilt boogie."

- Jack Ketchum.

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"Dead b.i.t.c.h Army" Andre Duza - Step into a world filled with racist teenagers, masked a.s.sa.s.sins, cannibals, a telekinetic hitman, 100 warped Uncle Sams, automobiles with razor-sharp teeth, living graffiti, cartoons that walk and talk, a steroid-addicted pro-athlete, an angry black chic, a washed-up Barbara Walters clone, the threat of a war to end all wars, and a p.i.s.sed-off zombie b.i.t.c.h out for revenge.

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"Clickers" J. F. Gonzalez and Mark Williams- They are the Clickers, giant venomous blood-thirsty crabs from the depths of the sea. The only warning to their rampage of dismemberment and death is the terrible clicking of their claws. But these monsters aren't merely here to ravage and pillage. They are being driven onto land by fear. Something is hunting the Clickers. Something ancient and without mercy. Clickers is J. F. Gonzalez and Mark Williams' gore-soaked cult cla.s.sic tribute to the giant monster B-movies of yesteryear.

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"Jack's Magic Beans" Brian Keene - It happens in a split-second. One moment, customers are happily shopping in the Save-A-Lot grocery store. The next instant, they are transformed into bloodthirsty psychotics, interested only in slaughtering one another and committing unimaginably atrocious and frenzied acts of violent depravity. Deadite Press is proud to bring one of Brian Keene's bleakest and most violent novellas back into print once more. This edition also includes four bonus short stories: Without You, I am An Exit, This Is Not An Exit, and The King, in: YELLOW.

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"The Innswich Horror" Edward Lee - In July, 1939, antiquarian and H.P. Lovecraft aficionado, Foster Morley, takes a scenic bus tour through northern Ma.s.sachusetts and finds Innswich Point. There far too many similarities between this fis.h.i.+ng village and the fictional town of Lovecraft's masterpiece, The Shadow Over Innsmouth. Join splatter king Edward Lee for a private tour of Innswich Point - a town founded on perversion, torture, and abominations from the sea.

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"Clickers II" J. F. Gonzalez and Brian Keene- Thousands of Clickers swarm across the entire nation and march inland, slaughtering anyone and anything they come across. But this time the Clickers aren't blindly rus.h.i.+ng onto land - they are being led by an intelligence older than civilization itself. A force that wants to take dry land away from the mammals. Those left alive soon realize that they must do everything and anything they can to protect humanity a no matter the cost. This isn't war, this is extermination.

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"Population Zero" Wrath James White - An intense s.a.d.i.s.tic tale of how one man will save the world through sterilization. Population Zero is the story of an environmental activist named Todd Hammerstein who is on a mission to save the planet. In just 50 years the population of the planet is expected to double. But not if Todd can help it. From Wrath James White, the celebrated master of s.e.x and splatter, comes a tale of environmentalism, drugs, and genital mutilation.

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"Trolley No. 1852" Edward Lee - In 1934, horror writer H.P. Lovecraft is invited to write a story for a subversive underground magazine, all on the condition that a pseudonym will be used. The pay is lofty, and G.o.d knows, Lovecraft needs the money. There's just one catch. It has to be a p.o.r.nographic story . . . The 1852 Club is a bordello unlike any other. Its women are the most beautiful and they will do anything. But there is something else going on at this s.e.x club. In the back rooms monsters are performing vile acts on each other and doors to other dimensions are opening . . .

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"Jesus Freaks" Andre Duza - For G.o.d so loved the world that he gave his only two begotten sons... and a few million zombies. Thugs, pushers, gangsters, rapists, murderers; Detective Philip Makane thought he'd seen it all until he awoke on the morning of Easter Sunday 2015, to a world filled with bleeding rain, ravenous zombies, a homicidal ghost, and the sudden arrival of two men with extraordinary powers who both claim to be Jesus Christ in the flesh.

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"Whargoul" Dave Brockie - It is a beast born in bullets and shrapnel, feeding off of pain, misery, and hard drugs. Cursed to wander the Earth without the hope of death, it is reborn again and again to spread the gospel of hate, abuse, and genocide. But what if it's not the only monster out there? What if there's something worse? From Dave Brockie, the twisted genius behind GWAR, comes a novel about the darkest days of the twentieth century.

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"Necro s.e.x Machine" Andre Duza - America post apocalypse...a toxic wasteland populated by bloodthristy scavengers, mutated animals, and roving bands of organized militias wing for control of civilized society's leftovers. Housed in small settlements that pepper the wasteland, the survivors of the third world war struggle to rebuild amidst the scourge of sickness and disease and the constant threat of attack from the horrors that roam beyond their borders. But something much worse has risen from the toxic fog.

AVAILABLE FROM AMAZON.COM.

"Rock and Roll Reform School Zombies" Bryan Smith - s.e.x, Death, and Heavy Metal! The Southern Illinois Music Reeducation Center specializes in "de-metaling" a a treatment to cure teens of their metal loving, devil wors.h.i.+ping ways. A program that subjects its prisoners to s.e.xual abuse, torture, and brain-was.h.i.+ng. But tonight things get much worse. Tonight the flesh-eating zombies come . . . Rock and Roll Reform School Zombies is Bryan Smith's tribute to "Return of the Living Dead" and "The Decline of Western Civilization Part 2: the Metal Years."

DEADITE PRESS BOOKS BY BRIAN KEENE.

Urban Gothic.

Jack's Magic Beans.

Clickers II (with J. F. Gonzalez).

Take The Long Way Home.

A Gathering of Crows.