Vrin_ Ten Mortal Gods Part 22

So there I sat, wondering how long I had been staring at the same page of my book.

CHAPTER 21.

OLD LIVES, OLD FRIENDS.

001001011001110.

We stared at each other in silence-- and time pa.s.sed. After all, what could we say? Our relations.h.i.+p had changed irreversibly from the moment I'd uttered the words. Words which now hung in the air like a cloud of strangling gas, threatening to steal away our very breath. I wished now I could take them back.

It was Sajin who spoke first. "So, you you are Sam' Dejal." His tone was guarded. are Sam' Dejal." His tone was guarded.

"I-- don't know. I have his memories-- but does that make me him?"

"Perhaps it is some kind of transference. Does the holy book mention anything about this kind of phenomenon?"

"No." I looked down at the tiled floor. "Have you you ever heard of such a thing?" ever heard of such a thing?"

He glared at me. "You're "You're the sky searcher, Charm! What do you make of it?" the sky searcher, Charm! What do you make of it?"

Again we stared, and after a long moment of introspection, I stated, "I am Sam' Dejal." Sam' Dejal."

Sajin stood abruptly. "This is nonsense!"

"Well, what do you want me to tell you!" I realized I had never spoken to him in this manner before.

He gave me an examining, and somewhat threatening look.

I yielded to it, and began again, this time lowering my head in respect. "They are not just memories, they are conscious choices which I myself I myself made. There was no other consciousness but my own. Therefore, I must conclude, I made. There was no other consciousness but my own. Therefore, I must conclude, I am am Sam' Dejal." Sam' Dejal."

"But you were here. here. How could you be How could you be there there and and here here at the same time? It doesn't make at the same time? It doesn't make sense." sense."

"My body was here, but my soul was not."

"That's not possible."

"I remember it all, Sajin." I arose and took a position before him. "I remember you, greeting me in the study, and Dirm attempting to pierce me through with a crossbow bolt. I remember being in the presence of the G.o.ds. I remember things I dare not speak of, and I remember the power power that once coursed through these veins-- so that once coursed through these veins-- so don't don't look at me as if I'm crazy." look at me as if I'm crazy."

I forced myself to take a step back. "I can share with you, the expression on your face when I barged into the council chambers, announcing the end of the world. And And tell you what it was like to lead an army of angels against the forces of Kric' tu. I am tell you what it was like to lead an army of angels against the forces of Kric' tu. I am not not crazy. I crazy. I was was Sam' Dejal!" Sam' Dejal!"

I had known Sajin my whole life. He was my mentor and my friend. For as long as I could remember, he had always had a talent for speaking, it was one of his greatest strengths, and I had never seen him at a loss for words. Yet there he stood, unable to speak, for the third time.

I turned from him and crouched before the fire. The flames danced and bounced as I searched intently for what I knew was there, or more accurately, what I knew was not. "Sajin," I said quietly. "Would you come here please."

He walked over and crouched beside me.

"What is missing here?" I asked.

He examined the fire, then looked at me expressionless. "Whatever it is you wish me to see, I'm missing it."

"Does the smoke rising up into the chimney seem strange to you?"

"Not especially."

"Don't you think it's strange there are no ashes rising up in the smoke stream?"

His eyes narrowed as he looked at me. "No. What's your point?"

"My point is, last week, it didn't seem strange to me either, but now it does." I put my hand on his shoulder. "I am am different, Sajin. I am aware of things I have never been aware of before, and I'm not quite sure how to handle it. Whether I am Sam' Dejal or not is irrelevant-- I am no longer Charm." different, Sajin. I am aware of things I have never been aware of before, and I'm not quite sure how to handle it. Whether I am Sam' Dejal or not is irrelevant-- I am no longer Charm."

Sajin stood and looked down into the fire. As deep orange light flickered across his stern features, there came a quiet knock at the door.

The doors to the study pushed inward, filling the room with daylight. A soldier stood silhouetted in the entrance. "Master Sajin, Lady Kitaya is here. She wishes an audience with you."

My mind wrapped around the name, and something deep within me was awakened. Perhaps it was relief at knowing she was okay. Perhaps it was something more. I wanted to go to her, but I held back. Would she know me?

"Tell her I will be there momentarily," Sajin said absently. He turned and straightened. "This conversation is going to have to wait."

"I understand."

For now, I will have your status upgraded. A servant will be appointed to you, and your quarters will be transferred to the west wing of the palace. I hope that will be adequate."

"That won't be necessary."

"I sense in you a new spirit, Charm. You will not be satisfied to contain yourself in the role you once played, so we will have to define a new one for you."

"As you wish, my lord," I said, with a subtle bow.

"But for now, I have business to attend to."

"May I accompany you?" I said too quickly.

Sajin gave me an examining stare. It was a stare I knew well, one which he employed frequently with great precision. But this time, there was a hint of defeat in his eyes. "You have have changed," he said quietly. He turned toward the door. "You may come, but show me the courtesy of remaining silent." changed," he said quietly. He turned toward the door. "You may come, but show me the courtesy of remaining silent."

We entered the capital's immense indoor garden to see Kitaya standing with her back to us. Her delicate form was shrouded in a mysterious silk dress, which flowed about her in gentle currents. Subtle shades of tan and brown melted into soft shadows of gossamer transparencies. Her braided ponytail swung gracefully behind her. She was studying a brilliant orange tulip in the center of the elaborate garden. The blossom seemed to s.h.i.+mmer as the sun hit it-- but perhaps it was her presence that brought the little flower to life.

"It is good to see you are well, Lady Kitaya," said Sajin, announcing our presence.

Kitaya turned slowly, revealing her brilliant blue eyes. "It is good to see you you are well, Sajin." are well, Sajin."

I kept to the rear as she glided toward us.

"To what do we owe the honor of your visit?" Sajin took her hand into his, and feigned a kiss.

"Oh Sajin, you are so very regal, a true diplomat."

Sajin smiled.

"I have come to ask a favor of you."

"Anything you wish, my lady."

"I wish to borrow Davata Notrals," she said brightly.

Sajin showed no reaction. "You must know I can't grant that. I don't have the authority."

"Then will you bring it before the council?"

"If it is your wish." He bowed, then hesitated. "Would you do something for me?" me?"

She smiled. "What would you have me do?"

"Enlighten us as to its origin?"

A slight pout developed on her face. "What do your people find so impressive about that book? It is nothing more than fairy tales about a world which doesn't exist."

"Davata Notrals contains the living text. Each time our sky searchers examine it, the text changes. Stories unfold in different ways, and the prophecies about its people change."

"But they are not your people, Sajin."

"I am puzzled Ki' Janu. Why would you create such an artifact for us to cherish, and then make light of its importance?"

"It is only important to you, because you do not understand it."

"It is important to us, because we believed it was a gift from you, and now you ask for it back?"

I knew Kitaya was bluffing, and this insight caused an involuntary smile to form on my face. Unfortunately it caught her attention.

"Who is this?" She sounded mildly annoyed.

"This is our sky searcher, Charm." Sajin kept his posture.

Kitaya moved in my direction, examining me with a cold sapphire gaze. After a few excruciating seconds, she produced a squint, and a half smile. "He has your strength, Sajin. Perhaps you should guard yourself; your career may be at stake."

"I will keep that in mind."

"So will you do as I asked?" she said, repositioning herself in front of Sajin.

"I will." He folded his arms over his chest. "Will you consider my my request?" request?"

"Yes, but in the mean time, may I at least see see the text?" the text?"

"Do you wish to see the original parchments?"

"Yes, please."

"Is there any particular section you would like to view, or would you have it all?"

"I wish to view the book of the prophet Amiel."

"The Book of Reason," he stated with an almost imperceptible hesitation.

She nodded.

"There is a matter I must attend to. Charm can show you the text." He looked at me. My head gave a startled snap in his direction. Our eyes met in silent communication. "Is there a problem?" he asked.

"I beg your pardon, sir," I replied in my most diplomatic voice. "I merely doubt I have the proper credentials to a.s.sist Lady Kitaya in a manner befitting her stature."

"I am sure you will do just fine." He turned back to Kitaya. "If you need anything else, my lady, I will be in the council chambers."

"Thank you, Sajin." Her eyes were still on me. It was clear she didn't know what to think of me, but I suspected it was a mystery she would enjoy unraveling.

I gave her a discrete bow. "If you will follow me, your holiness."

As we headed out into the main corridor, people stopped and stared. Kitaya was intriguing to behold, and quite out of place amidst the plain clothed dignitaries. We reached a slate staircase and I looked back at her. "This way, my lady," I said, gesturing to the stairs.

They spiraled around a ma.s.sive marble cylinder, which reached from the bas.e.m.e.nt to the peak of the domed ceiling high above. Its thick marble railing was graced with intermittent statues. It had taken seventeen long years to build this staircase, and men had died during its construction-- but all I could think about, was the fact that I had never seen anyone dust it.

For a long time we climbed in silence.

"How goes the war?" I inquired at last.

"There seems to be no end to it," she replied pa.s.sively.

"Who wages the war while you are here? Armadon, Lorna, and Corel?"

"Yes."

"Did we have any luck in getting Tiko?"

She came to a stop and looked up at me. "Did we we have any luck? How is it you know so much about the affairs of the G.o.ds?" have any luck? How is it you know so much about the affairs of the G.o.ds?"

I stopped and turned. "This is the capital, many rumors travel through these walls."

Her right eyebrow rose slightly. "Yes-- I suppose they do."

I looked ahead, then back at Kitaya. "We should be there soon. It's only a little farther."

She nodded, and in her eyes I saw suspicion.

How much could I tell her? I trusted her, but things were different now. Even if I did tell her, would she believe me? Would I have believed myself? It didn't matter. I could not reveal my ident.i.ty. I shuddered at the thought of what Rath would do to me in my present form. My mind s.h.i.+fted to the unending blackness of the dungeon, and Gaza's daughter flashed into my perception. Her pleading eyes stabbed at my heart. She was dead now. Kitaya needed to know this. She needed to tell the others-- but there was no way to tell her without revealing my ident.i.ty.

"Deep in thought?"