Fantastic Mr Fox Part 3

'Worry me?' said Mr Fox. 'What?'

'All this... this stealing stealing.'

Mr Fox stopped digging and stared at Badger as though he had gone completely dotty. 'My dear old furry frump,' he said, 'do you know anyone in the whole world whole world who wouldn't swipe a few chickens if his children were starving to death?' who wouldn't swipe a few chickens if his children were starving to death?'

There was a short silence while Badger thought deeply about this.

'You are far too respectable,' said Mr Fox.

'There's nothing wrong with being respectable,' Badger said.

'Look,' said Mr Fox, 'Boggis and Bunce and Bean are out to kill kill us. You realize that, I hope?' us. You realize that, I hope?'

'I do, Foxy, I do indeed,' said the gentle Badger.

'But we're we're not going to stoop to not going to stoop to their their level. We don't want to kill level. We don't want to kill them. them.'

'I should hope not, indeed,' said Badger.

'We wouldn't dream of it,' said Mr Fox. 'We shall simply take a little food here and there to keep us and our families alive. Right?'

'I suppose we'll have to,' said Badger.

'If they they want to be horrible, let them,' said Mr Fox. 'We down here are decent peace-loving people.' want to be horrible, let them,' said Mr Fox. 'We down here are decent peace-loving people.'

Badger laid his head on one side and smiled at Mr Fox. 'Foxy,' he said, 'I love you.'

'Thank you,' said Mr Fox. 'And now let's get on with the digging.'

Five minutes later, Badger's front paws. .h.i.t against something flat and hard. 'What on earth is this?' he said. 'It looks like a solid stone wall.' He and Mr Fox sc.r.a.ped away the soil. It was was a wall. But it was built of bricks, not stones. The wall was right in front of them, blocking their way. a wall. But it was built of bricks, not stones. The wall was right in front of them, blocking their way.

'Now who in the world would build a wall under the ground?' asked Badger.

'Very simple,' said Mr Fox. 'It's the wall of an underground room. And if I am not mistaken, it is exactly what I'm looking for.'

15.

Bean's Secret Cider Cellar Mr Fox examined the wall carefully. He saw that the cement between the bricks was old and crumbly, so he loosened a brick without much trouble and pulled it away. Suddenly, out from the hole where the brick had been, there popped a small sharp face with whiskers. 'Go away!' it snapped. 'You can't come in here! It's private!'

'Good Lord!' said Badger. 'It's Rat!'

'You saucy beast!' said Mr Fox. 'I should have guessed we'd find you down here somewhere.'

'Go away!' shrieked Rat. 'Go on, beat it! This is my private pitch!'

'Shut up,' said Mr Fox.

'I will not shut up!' shrieked Rat. 'This is my my place! I got here first!' place! I got here first!'

Mr Fox gave a brilliant smile, flas.h.i.+ng his white teeth. 'My dear Rat,' he said softly, 'I am a hungry fellow and if you don't hop it quickly I shall eat-you-up-in-one-gulp!'

That did it. Rat popped back fast out of sight. Mr Fox laughed and began pulling more bricks out of the wall. When he had made a biggish hole, he crept through it. Badger and the Smallest Fox followed him in.

They found themselves in a vast, damp, gloomy cellar. 'This is it!' cried Mr Fox.

'This is what what?' said Badger. 'The place is empty'

'Where are the turkeys?' asked the Smallest Fox, staring into the gloom. 'I thought Bean was a turkey man.'

'He is a turkey man,' said Mr Fox. 'But we're not after turkeys now. We've got plenty of food.'

'Then what do do we need, Dad?' we need, Dad?'

'Take a good look round,' said Mr Fox. 'Don't you see anything anything that interests you?' that interests you?'

Badger and the Smallest Fox peered into the half-darkness. As their eyes became accustomed to the gloom, they began to see what looked like a whole lot of big gla.s.s jars standing upon shelves around the walls. They went closer. They were were jars. There were hundreds of them, and upon each one was written the word CIDER. jars. There were hundreds of them, and upon each one was written the word CIDER.

The Smallest Fox leaped high in the air. 'Oh, Dad!' he cried out. 'Look what we've found! It's cider!'

'Ex-actly,' said Mr Fox.

'Tremendous!' shouted Badger.

'Bean's Secret Cider Cellar,' said Mr Fox. 'But go carefully, my dears. Don't make a noise. This cellar is right underneath the farmhouse itself.'

'Cider,' said Badger, 'is especially good for Badgers. We take it as medicine one large gla.s.s three times a day with meals and another at bedtime.'

'It will make the feast into a banquet,' said Mr Fox.

While they were talking, the Smallest Fox had sneaked a jar off the shelf and had taken a gulp. 'Wow!' he gasped. 'Wow-ee!'

You must understand this was not the ordinary weak fizzy cider one buys in a store. It was the real stuff, a home-brewed fiery liquor that burned in your throat and boiled in your stomach.

'Ah-h-h-h-h-h!' gasped the Smallest Fox. 'This is some cider some cider!'

'That's quite enough of that,' said Mr Fox, grabbing the jar and putting it to his own lips. He took a tremendous gulp. 'It's miraculous!' he whispered, fighting for breath. 'It's fabulous! It's beautiful!'

'It's my turn,' said Badger, taking the jar and tilting his head well back. The cider gurgled and bubbled down his throat. 'It's... it's like melted gold!' he gasped. 'Oh, Foxy, it's... like drinking sunbeams and rainbows!'

'You're poaching!' shrieked Rat. 'Put that down at once! There'll be none left for me!' Rat was perched upon the highest shelf in the cellar, peering out from behind a huge jar. There was a small rubber tube inserted in the neck of the jar, and Rat was using this tube to suck out the cider.

'You're drunk!' said Mr Fox.

'Mind your own business!' shrieked Rat. 'And if you great clumsy brutes come messing about in here we'll all be caught! Get out and leave me to sip my cider in peace.'

At that moment they heard a woman's voice calling out in the house above them. 'Hurry up and get that cider, Mabel!' the voice called. 'You know Mr Bean doesn't like to be kept waiting! Especially when he's been out all night in a tent!'

The animals froze. They stayed absolutely still, their ears p.r.i.c.ked, their bodies tense. Then they heard the sound of a door being opened. The door was at the top of a flight of stone steps leading down from the house to the cellar.

And now someone was starting to come down those steps.

16.

The Woman 'Quick!' said Mr Fox. 'Hide!' He and Badger and the Smallest Fox jumped up on to a shelf and crouched behind a row of big cider jars. Peering around the jars, they saw a huge woman coming down into the cellar. At the foot of the steps, the woman paused, looking to right and left. Then she turned and headed straight for the place where Mr Fox and Badger and the Smallest Fox were hiding. She stopped right in front of them. The only thing between her and them was a row of cider jars. She was so close, Mr Fox could hear the sound of her breathing. Peeping through the crack between two bottles, he noticed that she carried a big rolling-pin in one hand.

'How many will he want this time, Mrs Bean?' the woman shouted. And from the top of the steps the other voice called back, 'Bring up two or three jars.'

'He drank four yesterday, Mrs Bean.'

'Yes, but he won't want that many today because he's not going to be up there more than a few hours longer. He says the fox is bound to make a run for it this morning. It can't possibly stay down that hole another day without food.'

The woman in the cellar reached out and lifted ajar of cider from the shelf. The jar she took was next but one to the jar behind which Mr Fox was crouching.

'I'll be glad when the rotten brute is killed and strung up on the front porch,' she called out. 'And by the way, Mrs Bean, your husband promised I could have the tail as a souvenir.'

'The tail's been all shot to pieces,' said the voice from upstairs. 'Didn't you know that?'

'You mean it's ruined ruined?'

'Of course it's ruined. They shot the tail but missed the fox.'

'Oh heck!' said the big woman. 'I did so want that tail!'

'You can have the head instead, Mabel. You can get it stuffed and hang it on your bedroom wall. Hurry up now with that cider!'

'Yes, Ma'am, I'm coming,' said the big woman, and she took a second jar from the shelf.

If she takes one more, she'll see us, thought Mr Fox. He could feel the Smallest Fox's body pressed tightly against his own, quivering with excitement. thought Mr Fox. He could feel the Smallest Fox's body pressed tightly against his own, quivering with excitement.

'Will two be enough, Mrs Bean, or shall I take three?'

'My goodness, Mabel, I don't care so long as you get a move on!'

'Then two it is,' said the huge woman, speaking to herself now. 'He drinks too much anyway.'

Carrying a jar in each hand and with the rolling-pin tucked under one arm, she walked away across the cellar. At the foot of the steps she paused and looked around, sniffing the air. 'There's rats down here again, Mrs Bean. I can smell 'em.'

'Then poison them, woman, poison them! You know where the poison's kept.'

'Yes, Ma'am,' Mabel said. She climbed slowly out of sight up the steps. The door slammed.

'Quick!' said Mr Fox. 'Grab ajar each and run for it!'

Rat stood on his high shelf and shrieked. 'What did I tell you! You nearly got nabbed, didn't you? You nearly gave the game away! You keep out of here from now on! I don't want you around! This is my place!'

'You,' said Mr Fox, 'are going to be poisoned.'

'Poppyc.o.c.k!' said Rat. 'I sit up here and watch her putting the stuff down. She'll never get me. me.'

Mr Fox and Badger and the Smallest Fox ran across the cellar clutching a gallon jar each. 'Goodbye, Rat!' they called out as they disappeared through the hole in the wall. 'Thanks for the lovely cider!'

'Thieves!' shrieked Rat. 'Robbers! Bandits! Burglars!'

17.

The Great Feast Back in the tunnel they paused so that Mr Fox could brick up the hole in the wall. He was humming to himself as he put the bricks back in place. 'I can still taste that glorious cider,' he said. 'What an impudent fellow Rat is.'

'He has bad manners,' Badger said. 'All rats have bad manners. I've never met a polite rat yet.'

'And he drinks too much,' said Mr Fox, putting the last brick in place. 'There we are. Now, home to the feast!'

They grabbed their jars of cider and off they went. Mr Fox was in front, the Smallest Fox came next and Badger last. Along the tunnel they flew... past the turning that led to Bunce's Mighty Storehouse... past Boggis's Chicken House Number One and then up the long home stretch towards the place where they knew Mrs Fox would be waiting.

'Keep it up, my darlings!' shouted Mr Fox. 'We'll soon be there! Think what's waiting for us at the other end! And just think what we're bringing home with us in these jars! That ought to cheer up poor Mrs Fox.' Mr Fox sang a little song as he ran: 'Home again swiftly I glide,Back to my beautiful bride.She'll not feel so rottenAs soon as she's gottenSome cider inside her inside.'

Then Badger joined in: 'Oh poor Mrs Badger, he cried,So hungry she very near died.But she'll not feel so hollowIf only she'll swallowSome cider inside her inside.'

They were still singing as they rounded the final corner and burst in upon the most wonderful and amazing sight any of them had ever seen. The feast was just beginning. A large dining-room had been hollowed out of the earth, and in the middle of it, seated around a huge table, were no less than twenty-nine animals. They were: Mrs Fox and three Small Foxes.

Mrs Badger and three Small Badgers.

Mole and Mrs Mole and four Small Moles.

Rabbit and Mrs Rabbit and five Small Rabbits.

Weasel and Mrs Weasel and six Small Weasels.

The table was covered with chickens and ducks and geese and hams and bacon, and everyone was tucking into the lovely food.

'My darling!' cried Mrs Fox, jumping up and hugging Mr Fox. 'We couldn't wait! Please forgive us!' Then she hugged the Smallest Fox of all, and Mrs Badger hugged Badger, and everyone hugged everyone else. Amid shouts of joy, the great jars of cider were placed upon the table, and Mr Fox and Badger and the Smallest Fox sat down with the others.