Fantasy Farm Chapter 7

…makes things a little safer

translator: baumkuchen editor: sora harukawa 

“As of now, we haven’t yet managed to identify the male corpse. His time of death was half a year after that of the female corpse’s,” the police officer said, “But this corpse is still very well preserved, which is weirdest thing about it.”

Lu Qingjiu’s eyebrows furrowed. He asked: “Officer, can I ask what your name is?”

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

The police officer said: “My name is Hu Shu. You can just call me Officer Hu.”

“Officer Hu, I really don’t know anything about how this happened, I only had a nightmare,” Lu Qingjiu said, “Half a year ago, I was still working in the city. My neighbours can also vouch for the fact that I never came back before this, so as to what exactly happened, I can’t say.”

Hu Shu said: “I know, we’ve already investigated this matter.” After finding the corpse, they’d gone back and conducted a detailed investigation into Lu Qingjiu’s background, and confirmed that he hadn’t returned to his hometown in a very long time, essentially eliminating him from the list of suspects.

Since Lu Qingjiu had nothing to do with this case, the case was now firmly set in the supernatural direction. Officer Hu had a bitter look on his face as he sighed once again.

Seeing the situation, Lu Qingjiu could only pat him on the shoulder in consolation.

Still, they didn’t have any leads. After having scoured Lu Qingjiu’s inner courtyard for a few days, the police withdrew from the scene. Of course, this time the well had been thoroughly inspected, and it was determined that there were no more corpses or similar things in the well. 

“It would be best if you invited someone over to exorcise the place.” The entire village had heard about what had happened over at the Lu house, and most felt it was quite inauspicious. His neighbour Uncle Li said, “Strangers died in your inner courtyard, it’s really too unlucky.”

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“It’s nothing,” Lu Qingjiu said, “I don’t believe in those things.”

“Ai, this kid,” Uncle Li said, “I know you don’t believe in it, but the rest of the villagers believe it. If you don’t invite someone over to cleanse the place, everyone else will be scared to come visit your place.”

Lu Qingjiu was slightly shocked, he hadn’t thought of that. After a moment of hesitation, he then nodded: “I’ll think about it.” 

“Alright,” Uncle Li said, “The witch living over in the eastern part of the village is very effective. When my family’s kid started having nightmares, she helped chase away the spirits.”

Lu Qingjiu said: “Okay.”

After returning home, he hesitantly went to find Bai Yuehu, and very tactfully asked him if he was scared of witches and the like. Bai Yuehu was originally napping in a chair, but hearing him speak, he opened his eyes, and said: “What kind of witch is it?”

“Just one from the village.” Lu Qingjiu repeated what his next-door neighbour had told him to Bai Yuehu. “If she’s a threat to you, then I won’t invite her over.” He’d originally wanted to promise Uncle Li he would, but he’d thought of the lazy fox spirit hidden in his home and thus could only change his mind, saying that he’d think about it. 

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“Dea ktja?” Oe Hlcuple jrxfv.

“Ktja kfii lc sbeg tbwf ralii tjr rbwf gfwcjcar bo kliiqbkfg,” Djl Tefte rjlv, “Qtfc jc bgvlcjgs qfgrbc mbwfr mibrf, atfs wluta yf joofmafv ys la.”

“Efwcjcar bo kliiqbkfg?” Oe Hlcuple jrxfv, “Qtja’r atja?” 

“Before people die, they leave behind a kind of remnant,” Bai Yuehu elaborated, “Hatred tends to be particularly strong, so it usually forms a curse. But if it’s only a lingering spiritual attachment, that is to say, willpower, then I also don’t know what effect it’ll have. Anyways, it won’t kill anyone.”

Lu Qingjiu said: “Oh…  Then I’ll let the witch come over to see if she can disperse it.”

Hearing this, Bai Yuehu opened and closed his mouth, as if wanting to say something, but eventually just kept silent, still looking like he could fall asleep at any moment.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

The next day, Lu Qingjiu went over to the village to invite the witch surnamed He over. This witch looked to be about seventy to eighty, with an almost completely bald head, wearing patched up clothing, and overall looking very spiritual. After she heard Lu Qingjiu’s request, she spoke a whole spiel of gibberish Lu Qingjiu couldn’t understand, and then made an OK sign at him. 

Lu Qingjiu inwardly thought that this witch was still quite trendy, as she actually knew how to make the OK sign. He replied: “Then I’ll have to trouble you. When will you have time to come over?”

Witch He’s eyebrows furrowed. She reached out and grabbed Lu Qingjiu’s shoulder and shoved the hand making the OK sign in front of his face.

Lu Qingjiu stared at her, uncomprehending, until she opened her dry lips, and spat out two words: “Three hundred.”

Lu Qingjiu: “…” 

After a long period of silence, Lu Qingjiu didn’t say anything, and just gouged out three hundred dollars from his wallet and handed it over to the witch with a trembling hand.

The witch took the money, and finally retracted the hand making the OK sign. She said: “I’ll come by tomorrow, prepare a large rooster, a living one!”

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Lu Qingjiu: “…Okay.”

On his way back from the witch’s house, Lu Qingjiu dropped by his neighbour Uncle Li’s place and bought a large rooster off of him. Uncle Li was quite generous, and asked Lu Qingjiu about what he’d decided to do. Lu Qingjiu told him that the witch would be coming over the next day. Uncle Li was then relieved, and said this Witch He was very spiritual, after she came over to do her work the well shouldn’t have any more problems. Lu Qingjiu thought, even if there weren’t any problems he still wouldn’t dare to use it, the water inside used to contain dead people… 

When Yin Xun heard that someone was coming over to cleanse Lu Qingjiu’s home, before the sun had even rose the next day, he’d already ran over. Lu Qingjiu was still out in the outer courtyard, standing before the laundry sink and brus.h.i.+ng his teeth. Seeing Yin Xun’s s.h.i.+ning eyes, he was shocked: “Why are you so excited?”　　

Yin Xun said: “Aiya, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a witch at work, I kinda missed it.”

Hearing this, Lu Qingjiu stared at Yin Xun with a weird look in his eyes: “Missing what? The witch? Your taste sure is heavy.”

Yin Xun: “Friend what are you saying.” 

Lu Qingjiu didn’t say anything, and simply patted his best friend’s shoulder.

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At a bit past 7, the sky started to brighten and the witch arrived, carrying a cloth bag. It looked as if there were quite a few things inside. Bai Yuehu was still sleeping, and Lu Qingjiu didn’t bother waking him. There would be no difference whether he woke up or stayed asleep.

The witch spoke a few more garbled words, before walking over to the mouth of the well, and began to place a few objects on top. Lu Qingjiu stood by the side, watching. Some of the objects were paper bowls, and some were paper ingots. Even though Lu Qingjiu recognized most of the objects, he had no idea how most of them were going to be used.

Naturally, the witch didn’t explain anything to Lu Qingjiu. She held a long sword in one hand, and started chanting ominously. She danced a circle around the well, before picking up the rooster on the ground, and with a wave of her sword, directly chopped off the rooster’s head. 

Watching from nearby, Yin Xun hissed. He said in a small voice: “How fierce.”

Lu Qingjiu kept silent. He was thinking about whether after all this was over, if they would be able to eat the rooster… He was in the mood for some stir-fried chicken.

After the witch chopped off the chicken’s head, blood sprayed all over the ground. She then scooped up the fresh blood using a bowl, drank a mouthful of blood, and spat it out in the direction of the well.

Seeing this, Lu Qingjiu thought that those three hundred dollars hadn’t been easily earned. In this day and age, being a witch really wasn’t easy. 

After working for about an hour, Witch He was finally done. As she was packing up, Lu Qingjiu tentatively asked if this chicken could still be eaten. The witch stared at Lu Qingjiu, and said: “This chicken has been used. How could it still be edible? If you eat it you might fall ill. This well can be used now, but you can’t drink the water in there.”

Lu Qingjiu nodded and thanked the witch. He watched as she walked away with the corpse of the chicken.　　

Yin Xun reluctantly stared after the chicken. He said: “Such a big chicken, it’s such a waste to throw it away.”

“Right?” Lu Qingjiu sighed, “What a waste.” 

The two of them cleaned up the well together before everything started to become busy again. This courtyard now had a flock of chirping chicks, and had become quite lively. The chicks were very brave, not at all fearing for their lives. When they saw a stranger enter, their immediate reaction was to use those tiny yellow beaks of theirs to start pecking at them. When Li Xiaoyu first met them, he had been pecked quite a few times. Thankfully, the little chicks weren’t very strong and thus weren’t much of a threat. Standing by the side, Yin Xun couldn’t help but sigh. Weren’t little chicks scared of mushrooms? When it next rained, he’d go out to the mountain and harvest some mushrooms to bring back…

“These are my chicks.” Next to him, Bai Yuehu, who usually didn’t like speaking, suddenly spoke up. He said, “How you treat them is how I’ll treat you.”

Yin Xun: “…”

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Lu Qingjiu: “Hahahahaha.” 

Following that, he watched as Yin Xun, that fool, picked up a chick and kissed it on the b.u.t.t before turning to stare challengingly at Bai Yuehu.

Bai Yuehu: “…”

Next to them, Lu Qingjiu was laughing so hard he cried, especially because of that ugly look on Bai Yuehu’s face, which made him beside himself with laughter.

In the end, Yin Xun still gave up on the idea of attacking the chicks. As he watched them, he said he’d wait for them to grow up before making plans. 

With the matter of the witch finished, Lu Qingjiu’s home settled down. The villagers’ discussions also slowly stopped. Just as Lu Qingjiu thought that the matter was over, something completely unexpected occurred —— Something had happened to Witch He.

It was a cloudy morning. Lu Qingjiu was sitting outside the window, was.h.i.+ng pork belly with Yin Xun. They had bought the pork belly the day before, in preparation for the stew they were going to make today. Just as the two were discussing the best way to clean the pork belly, a loud knocking sounded on the front door.

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“Who is it?” Yin Xun asked.

“It’s me.” Witch He’s voice was heard. 

Lu Qingjiu replied, “Is anything the matter?” He stood up and walked over to the door. When he opened the door and got a good look at Witch He, he was immediately shocked stiff.

Witch He seemed to have antic.i.p.ated Lu Qingjiu’s reaction. She was trembling all over, even her voice was shaky. She said, “I… I’ve been cursed by your well!”

Lu Qingjiu: “…This counts as a curse?”

Witch He stroked her full head of long, thick hair: “It… should?” 

Lu Qingjiu: “…” From now on, he should rename his well as the Lord of Balding Prevention well.