His Royal Highness, Wants A Divorce! Chapter 12

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Yan Ke liked to do everything by himself, except for those days he was bedridden with illness or in a coma and had to be cared for by others. The rest of the time, he would do everything on his own.

The steward had been following behind Yan Ke. He was puzzled as he looked at the Crown Princess, who was in the kitchen putting the prepared snacks into a dish.

The Crown Princess has such excellent culinary skills, so why didn’t he demonstrate his skills in front of the Crown Prince?!

As they said, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Even an old man like him knew this. It was unlikely the Crown Princess didn’t know!

However, on second thoughts, the Crown Princess had been so sick the past few days. So the steward reckoned that he might have the intent but not the energy to please the Crown Prince.

Steward, “Your Highness, our Crown Prince is very fussy about what he puts in his mouth. I believe he will certainly like the food you cook if he gets to taste it.”

Yan Ke’s hand shook, and he looked up in consternation.

Yan Ke, “Are you serious?!”

Don’t scare me!

The steward smiled, “Yes!”

With mixed feelings, Yan Ke carefully arranged a piece of snack on the dish.

Looks like he must never, ever flaunt his skills in front of Meng You!

The steward thought Yan Ke was happy to hear this, so he continued to coax him. “Our Crown Prince has a sharp tongue but a soft heart. If you say a few nice words to coax him and make a few delicious meals for him, I guarantee that he will totally surrender and submit to you!”

Yan Ke nodded his head.

Must not say nice words to him. Must not make delicious meals for him! Alright, I get it! 

Yan Ke had just finished making the snacks and was about to have a bite when a familiar voice rang out from outside the kitchen.

Tang Qi, “Oh my! Oh my goodness! Your Highness, you—”

Yan Ke looked back at Tang Qi. He had seen this man before; he was the imperial guard beside the Emperor…

This was the voice that had wished for him and Meng You to consummate their marriage soon.

Tang Qi, “Did the Crown Princess made these?”

Yan Ke nodded, then divided the snacks into two portions. He just liked to make them. As for eating, just having two pieces was enough to satisfy his craving.

He gave the remaining portion to the steward.

Yan Ke, “You and the other servants may eat them!”

Tang Qi’s hand was about to take a piece of the snacks to try when it froze in mid-air.

What… What’s the meaning of this?

Didn’t they had a pleasant conversation the other day?! Why had his att.i.tude changed after Meng You left?!

Although Yan Ke pretended not to see Tang Qi’s outstretched hand, the steward could not pretend the same.

The steward glanced at Yan Ke in embarra.s.sment.

From the looks of things, the Crown Princess did not want to share the food…

But Imperial Guard Tang was looking at him again… The implication was obvious.

Yan Ke said, “We don’t even have enough food for our own people.”

Tang Qi suffered multiple injuries after being stabbed all over by an arrow named “Outsider”.

After everyone left, Tang Qi began his questioning.

He was fine with dying, but at least let him know why!

Tang Qi asked, “Have I offended Your Highness?”

Yan Ke smiled, “No, you haven’t.”

Tang Qi thought, hypocrite!

Tang Qi said, “Your Highness, please tell me so I can correct my behavior! The Crown Prince is away from home. Before he left, he had told his buddies to help out where we can.”

Yan Ke, “What was the last thing you said to Meng You that day?”

Tang Qi scratched his head. “May the Crown Prince and Crown Princess consummate your marriage soon!”

And that’s your mistake!

Yan Ke nodded. “So, do you understand now?”

Tang Qi looked bewildered. “No.”

Yan Ke continued. “Okay, fine. Let’s return to the topic. Meng You told you to take care of me. Like how? Help yourself to your buddy’s wife?”1

Tang Qi fell down hard into the chair. “Fare… farewell!”

Yan Ke, “Take care. I won’t see you out.” 

Yan Ke did not even raise his head. He did not have to raise it to know his words had terrified the man standing before him.

Tang Qi bolted from the Crown Prince’s residence.

That ‘help yourself to your buddy’s wife’ had petrified his poor little heart.

No wonder… No wonder Meng You could not withstand Yan Ke’s attacks!

——

After four days, Meng You finally arrived at his destination.

Meng You, “Make an inventory of our military forces, then set up camp.”

The first tent to be set up was surely the commander-in-chief’s tent. Meng You led several deputy generals in and began to devise the route and plan for another day’s raid.

On the other side, the soldier who was doing a headcount of the soldiers found more than a dozen unauthorized people furtively stealing glances at the commander-in-chief’s tent.

“Report!”

Meng You had not finished speaking when there was a situation outside the barracks. He frowned as he lifted the flap of the tent to exit.

Meng You, “What is it?”

The soldier pushed out the men he had caught. “These people sneaked into our barracks, behaving suspiciously. Who knows what they are up to.”

Meng You looked towards the detainees. The rest did not look familiar to him, but one of them was.

It was the messenger who had delivered a letter to him the very first day he set out for the battlefield.

Meng You frowned and asked, “What’s going on?”

The messengers all simultaneously took out a letter from their bosoms and presented them before Meng You with outstretched arms. Then, they replied in unison: “Your Highness, here’s your letter from the Crown Princess.”

Meng You, “…”

The generals and soldiers beside him were struck dumb by the fact that he had received over ten letters when he had only left home for four days. “…”

Meng You’s ears turned red. He swiftly collected all the letters and explained, “My… my spouse is a little clingy.”

Everyone, “…”

Meng You wanted to divert attention from the topic, so he looked at the messengers and asked, “Are all of you delivering letters in groups now?”

A messenger responded, “No… it’s not that. Didn’t Your Highness say that we are not allowed to deliver letters for the Crown Princess until you’ve reached the frontier? Based on our overlapping speed of three messengers a day, and also because one of us rode a horse which meant he was faster than the troops, that’s why and how all of us came to gather together…”

Meng You, “…”

Meng You, “You’ve worked hard. You may all take your leave and get some rest.”

Meng You turned and went back into the commander-in-chief’s tent. Although they had yet to finish their discussion, the other deputy generals all unanimously remained standing at the entrance. After all, there were so many letters that it would take time to open and read them all.

Meng You looked at the dozen letters lying in front of him and suddenly sighed.

It was all his fault. He did not make it clear to Yan Ke. But he had really never expected that debauchee to change his mind so quickly!

With a heavy heart, Meng You opened the letters.

Meng You, “…” 

Love cannot be separated by mountains and oceans.2 Your Highness, can we both divorce?

Your Highness, you are unfeeling, and I’m unrighteous. If we don’t get a divorce now, then when?

Your Highness, look at this letter. Doesn’t it look identical to our writ of divorce?

Your Highness, let’s divorce before you succeed to the throne! If we divorce after you become the Emperor, you would have to split the country with me. That’s so not worth it!

Your Highness, Imperial Guard Tang came to our residence. But I kicked him out because of his inappropriate words the other day. I find myself such a petty and vindictive man, and men like me will only just lower Your Highness’s cla.s.s. Why not let us discuss a divorce?

…

The fourth day of waiting for the Crown Prince’s reply! TAT!

It confounded Meng You that he actually understood that novel expression at the end of the sentence.

After his realization, Meng You felt even more vexed.

Was he crying because Meng You did not write back to him? So he had been blowing off steam by bringing up a divorce?

Meng You sighed, took the writing brush from the brush stand, dipped it in some ink, and reluctantly wrote a letter back to Yan Ke.

After finis.h.i.+ng it, he handed it to the messenger in the military camp.

The messenger had only been gone for about an hour when Meng You went through his reply letter over and over again in his mind. Eventually, he wrote another letter and pa.s.sed it to another messenger.

Finally, because of a small mistake, he sent a third messenger.

It was a sunny day this day for Yan Ke. It was really a good day!

Even better, two messengers had delivered two letters from Meng You to the Crown Prince’s residence!

Not one! But two!!

Two letters! One must be the divorce papers!

Yan Ke eagerly opened the first letter.

Yan Ke, “…?”

I’m aware of your affection for me, I feel that there are a lot of issues I’ve to make clear to you, but it’s hard to get the message across in a letter. I’ll talk to you again when I return. I’m doing fine here, but the loess3 in this border is a little heavy and dense. I don’t like it. Furthermore, I didn’t bring a chef. The food cooked by military cooks isn’t to my liking at all!

Don’t cry. I can’t see you even if you cry. Besides, with that broken body of yours, you will worry yourself sick.

Yan Ke inwardly rolled his eyes. He only cared about whether Meng You had sent him the divorce papers, but that fellow was so eager to depict the frontier to him.

Yan Ke opened the second letter without any expectations in his heart.

I’m doing well at the frontier. You need not worry. They said that when you write a letter, you should report only the good news and not bad news. There’s nothing bad here I can comment about. Take care of yourself back home. It’s almost autumn. Remember to put on more clothes when it gets cold. I’ll talk to you about the other matters when I return.

Also, don’t cry.

Yan Ke looked at the two letters, baffled. What did he mean by this?!

After a while, the third messenger appeared at the door panting. Yan Ke’s doubt was finally answered.

The messenger stared blankly at the two envelopes that Yan Ke had torn open. “There’s one letter… that the Crown Prince asked me to burn and replace with a new one. But I didn’t expect the other messengers to run so fast. I wasn’t able to catch up even after chasing after them for a day.”

Yan Ke looked at the two letters in his hand and felt a little stunned.

He reckoned that the first letter was the one Meng You wanted to tear up. Looking at the two letters in his hand, Yan Ke could not help but smile.

Yan Ke asked, “How long does it take to get to the Crown Prince from here?”

The messenger replied, “About a day.”

Yan Ke nodded. “Rest up today. It’s been hard on you guys. Please help me deliver something to the Crown Prince tomorrow.”

Messengers, “Yes, Your Highness!”

Yan Ke turned to enter the room and put away the letters. When Meng You returned from the war, he must display these letters in front of that man and ask him what he had meant by this! What did he mean by being aware of Yan Ke’s affection?

Yan Ke himself wasn’t even aware! What affections did he have?! Does being a happily divorced couple with you count?!

The next day, Yan Ke woke up early in the morning, then threw himself into the kitchen and began to turn it upside down.

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Some Rights ReservedFootnotes朋友妻不客气 Help oneself to buddies’ wives. This is a pun on 朋友妻不可欺 one should not covet one’s friend’s wife; keep a distance from buddies’ wives. 万水千上总是情 Love cannot be separated by mountains and oceans; no matter how far the distance, the love is always there. 黄土 literally means “yellow earth”. Also known as loess, highly friable “loess” soil that is usually light brownish yellow (or yellowish brown) and has been deposited by wind storms over the ages.