The Unexpected Discovery Of Love 100 Insecurities

Stepping out of the bathroom, he found Kim setting aside the grocery, he made a move to help her arrange the foodstuff when she tapped his hand, "What are you doing?" She thundered, scaring him in the process. Placing a hand on his chest, he exclaimed, "What did I do?" Sneering, she answered, "You didn't wash your hands, did you?"

"Yeah..." He mumbled, rubbing his neck. He did not actually use the toilet so he didn't think there was need for that but she didn't know that. 'Now she must think I am a dirty person,' he pondered. "And you want to touch them?" She questioned with an obvious sneer. He was tempted to say he didn't use the toilet, considering the conversation was about him looking for a house for both of them without her permission would p.i.s.s her off, he held back. He would have to suffer in silence today and hope her impression of him doesn't turn bad.

Carl simply spun and opened the tap, letting the water flow down his hands. "Kim.. by the way, it's just a suggestion, don't get mad, how about we move? I know I previously brought it up, you were against it but we both know the red district isn't safe, it never was and the election won't make it any better. I don't want you to be a victim of any unfortunate event that is bound to  take place."

Kim bowed her head without any words for a few seconds, she understood what he was saying was the truth and she also understood that they needed to leave but she couldn't help but wonder, if he wasn't here. Without him, she would have to remain in the red district because she didn't have the means to stay somewhere else. She didn't want to keep taking without giving anything in return she would not be comfortable with that.

Coupled with the fact he wanted to date her and they were also living together, it made her feel like a mistress, a gold-digger. She was more than that and even if he never complained or say that to her, she would always a.s.sume that was what he was thinking. No guy liked a cheap woman, if he could easily get her by communicating to her, would he still value her? She didn't want to end up alone.

What if he got tired of her? If they are not dating, at least, she could boldly say they never had that kind of relations.h.i.+p tomorrow if trouble springs up. And what if they fight and he decides to kick her out, what could she say? Where could she go?

Her insecurities were eating at her so she could not make up her mind. Taking a deep breath, she suggested, "How about we move when I can afford half the rent and it can't be any place fancy."

He briskly turned off the tap and embraced her from behind, "Whatever you want.. but you can cook and clean to cover up the cost, you know?"

'Would I be his nanny, wife or girlfriend then?' She silently questioned.

It really wasn't easy dating or marrying someone of unequal status, you feel insecure and inadequate all the time, how do movies make it seem so simple? Worst of it all, he wasn't just rich, he was an aristocrat, a.s.suming she could easily make money, can she combat his n.o.ble status? Besides isn't their marriages already decided at birth? She would only be the third party destroying a relations.h.i.+p. The fact that she was a poor orphan would definitely stick out like a sore thumb. To the eyes of every person, she would be a gold-digging s.l.u.t.

She had a lot to consider before taking any step, aside from her psychological issues, social construct was another barrier for them. She wasn't confident that they could overcome it all, especially her. "Do you have a fiance?" She mumbled but quickly regretted her actions. She was already thinking about marriage when they weren't dating. Still, part of her antic.i.p.ated his response. If the answer was yes, he would have to move out by himself. She did not want to get involved in any fight with another woman concerning him. It would then be two powerful families against her, an ordinary person, an orphan.

"Wh.. what?" Carl stuttered. Her question startled him. To her, however, it sounded like he was nervous, like she caught him trying to cheat her into a relations.h.i.+p with no future. She placed her hand on his and moved them away. His hesitation implied that he had one.

'How did you get the idea I have a fiance?' He wondered. Seeing her free herself, wanting to get away, reminded him that she might run away again without waiting for his answer. With urgency, he grabbed her by the waist, pulling her to him. "If that's what you're worried about, you need not worry." He said, just by her ears.

Unexpectedly, she chuckled. "So you have one and you want to use me to get rid of her." Kim stated, like it was a confirmed fact.

Seeing she had misunderstood, he quickly shook his head before responding, "I definitely do not have one. I hope you don't always jump to conclusions without asking me or waiting for an answer." He sighed, if he had not reacted fast enough may be she would be gone by now or may be she would not want to hear from him again.

But what could she do when insecurity was gnawing at her heart? She never wanted to be on the losing end.