My Soul Will Find Yours 102 You Knew That I Knew!?

"Unfortunately, yes," she nodded. "I was gifted to him. However, marrying the shogun was the best way for me to remain alive and safe so I agreed. I was against it at first but Iursan saw the advantages of this arrangement so I conceded."

"What do you mean?" I furrowed my brows in confusion.

"Although the emperor didn't say it directly, he hinted that he blamed me and my family for what happened to his favorite son. Iursan heard that if I didn't agree to the marriage, the emperor will dispose of me."

"He knew that his son had no qualms committing incest and yet he didn't do anything!?" I was aghast. "Wow. He's unbelievably lenient towards the crown prince!"

"He's the main reason why his son grew up to be the vilest person the country has ever known," Mami said while shaking her head. "Anyway, the emperor saw two benefits in marrying me to Kaname-sama. One, he'll be able to establish a bond with him. Two, he won't be seeing me in the palace anymore."

"Anata said the arrangement was part of the peace treaty, did a war break out between the imperial family and the military?"

"Yes, but not in the sense you're thinking. Lord Kaname was keeping such a close watch on the first family that my uncle became paranoid. He tried to bribe some officials to side with him and become his spies but they were all faithful and loyal to the shogun. They only pretended to cooperate with him but when Kaname-sama grew tired of his little game, the emperor received the biggest slap of his life. He was fed false information and was the one being played all along."

"Wow," I said for the second time.

"The shogun is very shrewd. He knows how to play his cards well," she said with a hint of pride. "This is why I am so glad to be his friend. Although he may act silly and childish sometimes, when it came to such things he is very precise and ruthless."

"Lady Mami, may I ask you a question?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"Do you not have feelings for him? I mean, from the way I see it it's not difficult for you to fall for him," I wrung my hands and chewed my lower lip nervously.

Mami stared at me in disbelief for a few seconds before she burst into laughter. "Oh, Lady Hinata, you're a funny one!"

"But—"

"When we first met, I made an agreement with him. He should never fall for me and I to him. He knew the advantages of marrying me as much as I knew what being his official wife meant. He was pestered by the council to settle down; I, on the other hand, needed to escape from my uncle. But to answer your question, no. I have never developed feelings for him. Kaname-sama is like a brother to me, my feelings for him will forever be platonic."

"I hope you didn't take my question the wrong way and accuse me of being jealous," I clasped my hands together in a begging gesture.

She laughed again. "Of course not, he's the only immature person in our little group."

I smiled in relief. "I have another question…"

"Fire away."

"You didn't consummate your marriage, right? How did you fool everyone the day after?" I was very curious about this.

"He asked Taneyuki-san to prepare a vial of chicken blood. We used it to stain the bed."

"What happened to Iursan after you came to Kaname's castle?"

"I still see him from time to time," her cheeks suddenly burned a bright pink.

"How?"

"Kaname-sama allows him entry whenever he's in the area," a small shy smile curved her lips. "This was part of our agreement, although to be honest, it seems like I'm the only one benefiting from it."

"You're still together? That's nice!" I exclaimed. "But he hasn't married anyone, right?"

"The emperor didn't give him the right, making it another blessing for us. I would die if he married another woman. He's my life, Lady Hinata."

"So, umm… When he visits you… Erm… Do you…?" I couldn't say it! For some reason I couldn't bring myself to finish my question!

"Do we have s.e.x? Yes. Actually, you caught us months ago."

"You knew that I knew???"

"When I confronted you about why you disappeared that one night, I suspected that you saw us. At first I was greatly relieved when you said that you were intercepted by Shoutsan but when Kaname-sama told me that you lied and that his cousin saw us too, I panicked. I thought it was the end of our agreement and I won't be able to see Iursan again but he a.s.sured me that I had nothing to be afraid of because he's got it all covered."

"I didn't tell a soul about what I saw even though I hated your guts back then," I a.s.sured her.

"Please accept my sincerest apologies for how I acted towards you before. I was so prejudiced against you I didn't even bother getting to know you."

"It's alright, what's important is that we trust each other now," suddenly, I remembered something. "But it's really bad of anata to not give you a proper place to meet inside the castle. I'll talk to him about it later, don't worry."

"There's no need!"

"But don't you find it uncomfortable to roll around in the garden?" I asked. "It's much safer and more comfortable to do it inside a room."

She pursed her lips and covered them with her fingers as if debating whether she should say what she's about to say to me. "Umm, actually, the shogun did provide us a room."

"Eh?"

"It's just that, that night was the first time in a very long time that we saw each other again… Things got out of hand and we just ended up doing it there," she was beet red now. She avoided my eyes as she was so embarra.s.sed.

It was now my turn to stiffen then laugh. "Ooh, Lady Mami, you're so nasty[1]!" I teased her.

"Stop!" she covered her face with her hands. "That was the only time we got carried away, you know!"

I laughed until I cried while she continued to squirm in embarra.s.sment.

~~~

It was almost time for Kaname's visit when I left Mami's chambers. We continued to talk about various things after her revelations so I almost forgot about the time. As I hurried back to my room, I didn't notice the pair of angry eyes staring at me and following my every move.