Selfish Love 48 I Hate Myself.

Mariza shook her head and smiled. ''She was the most amazing mom in this world'' she whispered. Valz's lips turned up and it looked like he was trying hard to suppress his smile but eventually failed. ''That's because she was my mom'' he said with a trace of pride in his voice.

''I wonder why didn't her goodness transfer into her sons'' she said with while raising her eyebrow. Mariza loved to talk to Valz even about the little things he told her but sometimes their cute little banter worsened, it really meant something to her when he shared his thoughts with her.

''Valz can I ask you something?'' she asked a little fearfully.

He nodded his head slightly due to numbing of his senses by weed, he was staggering a little. ''As much as I know Aunt Kate died due to car accident but-''

''I don't want to talk about that!'' he said with pain evident in his eyes.

She nodded her head with a hint of understanding in her expression.

''You know....'' Is he going to tell me something? Sharing and telling were something that rarely came from Valz. Mariza really wanted to hear that, she had a secret diary in which she let out all her emotions and pour her heart out, each and every word was written on it which was said by Valz to her. I will also write this on it, she thought excitedly.

''My heart still aches when I see her lying lifelessly on the hospital bed..'' he started rubbing her chest and coughed as he gulped smoked more weed. ''T-that day was my first football match...'' How could not Mariza remember that fateful day?. That day Katelas had promised her that she would take her to Valz's match.

But she couldn't take Mariza with her because, Valz told his mom 'If she comes in my match I will not play the match'' due to which Katelas agreed to his terms.

''I was waiting f-for her, a boy desperate to see his mom'' he coughed, ''I wanted her to see that her son's wish was to make her proud'' he gave a bitter laugh, ''I hate myself.....'' Mariza put her finger on his lips, ''No that wasn't your fault Valz'' he froze on the spot with weed on his hands.

Valz stared at her with the same glint that he in his eyes years back. Mariza put her head on his chest effortlessly took the weed from his hands and threw it away. Valz spoke while Mariza was rubbing his back, ''M-aariza...'' he whispered.

She said absent-mindedly, ''Hmm?''

''She died because of me'' as soon as he said this tear fell on Mariza's shoulder and she became still. Did he consider himself the culprit of that night? ''Valz no-

''If I wouldn't have loved football-If I wouldn't have specially invited her then-'' he then coughed uncontrollably.

She grabbed his mouth and stared straight into his eyes, ''IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!'' she said this emphasis.

He tried to shake his head, ''She surely hates me in heaven'' he gave a desolate smile, ''I also hate myself'' he then grabbed Mariza by her waist and said regretfully, ''In fact you also hate me Mariza''