Learning To Live As A Cultivator 133 Chapter One Hundred And Thirty Three - My Heart Is Wounded

Despite his talk with Maimai, the emotions in his heart could not settle so easily .   Jin Li's contradicting ways had left his feelings in a muddle to the point where he still hoped for Jin Li's attention and feared it at the same time .   Even though Jin Li had waltzed out of his garden two days prior without the intention of ever returning, Leon's eyes would wander to his front door when he was thinking about things and he would still grab an extra cup whenever he brewed tea .   He made enough food to suffice a meal for Jin Li's bottomless stomach and himself, just in case, and ended up having to eat the leftovers for the following day breakfast and lunch as well .

He did not attempt to make pills once, even though Mr Clawse had caught him in town with Maimai and made a request for his blood pills .   He was discreet enough, but Leon knew he wanted a batch of the improved version .   Only, Leon feared that in his concentration, he would miss Jin Li's arrival, only to realise once more that Jin Li claimed he would not be back and his heart felt sore .

He had tossed and turned in his bed as well, unable to escape from his thoughts in the dead of night and reaching out for the youth that usually stole most of the small mattress and blanket, but not finding him there .   Before, it had not bothered him, perhaps as he knew that Jin Li would be back at some point, so he should enjoy the extra s.p.a.ce while he could .   But now . . .

But despite the turmoil of emotions, he still could not bring himself to truly hate the youth .   He was the one who had fallen, he could not blame Jin Li for that, however, he would not chase him .   At the end of the day, he was too timid and he feared more heartbreak .   This love was deeper than his old crush in his last life, Jin Li's abandonment hurt more, so he would not seek for the knife wound to be deepened blade twisted until he could no longer rise from the pain .

So thinking like this, upon the last day of the four day break, he stepped out of his small hut by himself .   He did not wander further than his garden, just looked at the weeds now bursting through the fertile soils and competing with his herbs and vegetables for nutrients .   He picked up the small spade and fork left beside the hut and began to remove the weeds from the beds .   As he worked, he noticed some changes to the garden, such as the tomato-like plants that were now bursting with orange fruit and the five blossom daisies that was now in its third blossoming phase; the flower was a soft lilac .

This reminded him that the first flowers were used in his bath salts and that Sun wished to test them, only . . . he sighed and shook away the thought, continuing to focus on his job .   The Silver tea tree was now up to his hip in height, it's tender leaves could be picked, but Leon thought it better to let the tree continue to grow for a while longer before stealing that which helped it live .   He had a whole slew of wild onions growing in a patch close by a patch of tubers, though neither of these did not seem to be ready to dig up and he wished to keep these for winter months anyway .   His first meal with Jin Li had consisted in part of those wild onions, that set a precedent in which Jin Li had expected him to share food with him, whether he cooked it himself or otherwise . . . he supposed that would not happen anymore . . .

His mind continued to seek his memories with Jin Li in every small detail, leaving his mood to sink further into the depths of melancholy and sapping the strength of his body until he was no longer lifting the fork in his hand .   He simply leaned against the side wall of his small hut and stared at the garden .

The wind gently brushed past the numerous flowers, gra.s.ses, herbs and plants, mixing their aromas but not to the point of unpleasantness .   The weather was comfortably warm today and the sun high in the sky was prevented from directing too much of its hot rays upon the youth and his garden by the shadows of the sheltering trees .   Their leaves up on high rustled lightly in the wind and the birds sang contentedly in their boughs .

With this soothing stimuli, the boy who had struggled to sleep much thanks to the lack of another body in his bed and the reminder to why that invader was not with him, found his eyes growing heavy and he simply let them close .   In no time at all, Leon was sleeping peacefully as he leaned against the wall, the remaining weeds in the garden forgotten .

And this was the sight that greeted Jin Li when he arrived a couple of hours later .