Crowbar Nurse Chapter 4

Now that we had made our plans, we had to go through with them.

That mentality was only natural for us slaves to society who create and support the nights of j.a.pan.
Finis.h.i.+ng up our conversation, we put our plans into action.

“After we collect all the items, we will leave our current area of Downtown and hurry towards the safehouse in Uptown.

I glanced around restlessly at our surroundings as I spoke to Kiryū.

“The safehouse is… well, it should be safer than everywhere else at least.”
“… that’s an odd way to put it. It almost sounds like you’re trying to say that the safehouse isn’t actually safe.”

I could but shrug at his keen inference.

“Unfortunately, you’ve hit the nail on the head.
More zombies sp.a.w.n with every moment that pa.s.ses. That means there are less safe s.p.a.ces and makes it harder to beat this game. The safehouses are safe for the first few days though…”
“Safe until the zombies encroach into the safe zone?”
“Yes.”

He guessed everything correctly.

“Zombies will attack at random intervals after the first few days. If you don’t kill all of the zombies within seven days, a cutscene will play, showing the player being overrun by zombies and forcing a game over.
Driving them back will probably buy you some more time, but… it’s not like you can do that anyway. It’s best to just not think about the what-ifs of a game over.”

We were back at the large window from which we came.
There were already two, three zombies waiting to fall victim to my a.s.sault rifle.

“Wahahahaha, rot in h.e.l.l!”
“… umm, no offense, but are you, y’know… someone who gets too excited from killing people?”
“Offense taken! I don’t get off on it, if that’s what you mean.
I just like to take out my stress and anger on zombies. They’re inherently evil creatures who were created for the sole purpose of getting killed. No mercy, okay? … ha, ahahahaha!”
“Never have I thought that any human being would have such a beautiful smile on their face while on a murderous rampage.
… but having that said, instead of me defending a younger girl, I feel like I’m the one who has to be protected…”

Kiryū scratched the back of his head, awkwardly standing around.

“Not that I actually need it though. But this is full of surprises. I didn’t think I’d be traveling with a zombie game junkie like you either.”
“What, was that a compliment? You’re so nice.”
“No, that wasn’t. I’m actually quite shaken…”

He scrunched up his face a little before shaking his head, to which I forced a smile.

“… to tell you the truth, I’d been obsessed with zombie games, so you’re not too far off calling me a junkie. Well, before I got caught up with my practic.u.m and work at least. You’re in safe hands, Kiryū, so don’t worry—s’all good. I may be a little scared, but we’ll make it out of here somehow.”
“Your easygoing att.i.tude is rather rea.s.suring, y’know? I had pretty much lost all hope until I found you.”

For a moment, our bitter smiles are mutual until Kiryū suddenly frowned.

“… that being said though, isn’t it weird how you can handle an a.s.sault rifle in real life like that?”
“Is it weird?”
“I’d say so. Aren’t small arms at the top of the list of weapons that are hardest for novices? There are so many clips online of people getting blasted away by guns.”
“Hmm… now that you mention it, why do I know how to use it?”

More zombies came at us in the middle of our conversation.
I had the rifle on burst mode to get more points, but it was getting a little annoying and I switched it to full auto instead.
I don’t even know if I even get points like in a game anyway.

Blood sprayed in the air as chunks of flesh rained down—it a wonderful celebration of violence… zombie games are the best. You’d see the nation’s QoL index shoot upwards if everyone would just relief their stress like me.

“Wahahahaha, eat lead! Die!”
“At first I thought I made a bad decision, but now I’m glad I picked up this wild beast.”

Kiryū sighed in astonishment as he watched me spray lead with my rifle and get sprayed with blood.

“I game too, but I’m no expert at zombie games unlike you.
I didn’t have the slightest idea how to get ahead in this game. The twists and turns of this area was beyond confusing… I would’ve died here if not for you.”
“Heheh, leave it all to me. I know this game like the back of my hand.”

Grabbing the window frame, I hopped over the other side and into the alleyway.
I turned around, posed with my rifle, and flashed a smile at Kiryū, hoping to raise his spirits.

“Let’s make light work of these zombies so we can get out of this world ASAP!”
“… sign me up. I gotta go back and finish work so I can finally go home. I miss my own bed.”

He heaved another sigh as I laughed in agreement.

“I’m ready snuggle up too, but maybe after a good meal though. There’s edamame, chips, and an ice cold one with my name on them back in the nurses’ dorm.”
“… you’re the do as I say–type of nurse, eh? Here for a good time, not a long time?”
“Hey, I’m still young! Plus, I haven’t been drinking at home lately either… speaking of which, where do you live, Kiryū?”
“Oh, East s.h.i.+njuku.”
“Wow, for real?!”

I couldn’t help myself from blurting out in surprise.

“I can’t believe you live in a proper place in s.h.i.+njuku and not like a cheap dorm for nurses. Adults sure have it nice…”
“Hah, it’s nothing special.”

He had somewhat of a smile on his face.

“The boss failed with his bed and breakfast venture with the condo, so instead, he stuffed me in there… and since it’s not particularly safe at night in East s.h.i.+njuku, locals try to stay away if they can.
Thanks to that, I’ve got a cheap place in s.h.i.+njuku that’s real close to work… but there’s also the cops lurking in their cruisers on the side of the road, the drunks shouting in the streets, and the creeps who prowl at night. I don’t feel like I live like a high-roller, that’s for sure.”
“Wow… I didn’t know East s.h.i.+njuku is like that.”
“It’s not just that area of town that’s like that, y’know?”
“ I know.
But still, that’s amazing… are there perhaps any street thugs who pick fights with you? And do you use bicycles to beat them up?”
“That’s what it’s like only in a certain yakuza game. You might see it happen in Kita and Adachi, but I’ve never encountered anything like that in s.h.i.+njuku.”

Kiryū looked off to the distance. I furrowed my brow at a particular part of what he said though.

“… that’s a pretty big coincidence though. I work in s.h.i.+njuku as well.”
“… that’s… oddly convenient.”
“Right? How strange… I wonder if it’s a coincidence at all.
What if only wage slaves working in s.h.i.+njuku get trapped in this world…?”

A bunch of zombies staggered from across the street and into the alley. It’s rare to see them bunch up like this.

“Oh, that’s right.
We’ll probably be fine since we have the gun, but shall I check their vitals?”
“… what do you—?”

Kiryū must have had a bad feeling about what I said, but I ignored his question. Instead, I shoved the rifle at him and charged at a zombie.

“Hey, wha— Sera?!”

He shouted at me, but whatever.
After scuffling with the zombie for about tens of seconds, I plunged my hand deep inside it.

“… you’re literally ripping its guts out?!”

Kiryū’s quip explained all there was to explain.
I’m sure lots of people would get angry and complain about it being too grotesque if I were to write out all the details, so I’ll make it short.
In any case, I ripped it guts out.

“What the h.e.l.l are you thinking, Sera? Wait, I didn’t even know you could do that in this game!”
“Level 1.”
“Huh? Level 1?!”
“I took about a minute for me to rip its guts out. At max level, it’d take only a moment but since it took more than a minute… it seems like Sera Harvey is at level 1 right now.”

I flick off the blood from my hands as I shrugged at Kiryū.

“You risked yourself just for that…?”

What are you, some kind of berserker?! Kiryū wearily sighed but isn’t this a pretty standard way of killing zombies?
It’s still way tamer than ripping out someone’s spine while screaming “Fatality!”

“Oh, and Kiryū, I appreciate how straightforward you are with me. I never enjoyed formalities in real life either, let alone Sera.”

I didn’t think it would be this embarra.s.sing to say it out loud.

“Gotcha. So, should I separate the two and call you by your real name?”
“… uhh, hmm… let’s not.
I don’t feel like myself looking like this. Honestly, I’m not this cute and pet.i.te in person.”

I spread my arms wide open as I answered him and he agreed.

“Me too. I’d likely die in agony if you called me by my real name… I don’t go peac.o.c.king around looking this flashy in real life.”

Kiryū said as he checked himself out. That’s quite an excuse for his looks.

“Peac.o.c.king, huh? If only you knew what that meant to a Rainbow Dreams fan like me…
I’m not a huge fangirl, but Kiryū Sōichirō’s fans would kill you if they heard you say that.”
“… yeah, I know. Not only are there a lot of Kiryū’s fangirls, but they also tend to be pretty extreme.”
“…”
“…”
“… hmm?”

As soon as I questioned him, Kiryū averted his eyes and put his hand against his mouth. That only led to more questions.

“Kiryū… you mentioned that you saw Rainbow Dreams High School☆Fantasia at the game show?”
“…”
“Kiryū?”
“…”
“… oh, I’m sure I’ve read an interview online where the game devs of—"
“Agh, Sera! I forgot I had something very important to say to you! Listen to me.”

Kiryū had a very serious look on his face as he said that. Then with one stride, he closed the physical gap between the two of us and grabbed both sides of my cheeks.

“Umm, you’re getting awfully close to me, Kiryū.”
“I can’t believe you went and ripped its guts out! Don’t you ever rush to your death like that again!”
“Rush to my death…? I’m a zombie game junkie. I know what I’m doing. And, uhh, more importantly, you’re still too close.”
“You know what you’re doing?
Do you really? It might look like it, but this is absolutely not a game.”

The look in his eyes showed he was being very serious.

“Trust me when I say I’ve seen what someone dying looks like.”
“… I had forgotten about that. That’s right…”
“Well, I’m glad you understand. Honestly, I couldn’t help but think you had abandoned your life when I watched what you did earlier.
… we’re not in a game. You don’t get to resp.a.w.n.”
“Right…”
“We don’t know what happens when we die here, so don’t recklessly throw yourself into the face of danger.”
“I understand… that is a very valid point…”

I nodded along as I watched Kiryū lips move as if this was some sort of well-drawn cutscene.

“… umm, Kiryū, I understood what you said.
Do you think I could get you to stop peac.o.c.king your flashy good looks in my face? You’re standing far too close.”
“I thought you said you weren’t a fangirl of this good-looking flashy peac.o.c.k?”

Kiryū forced a smile as he let go of my cheeks. I subconsciously stared at him.

“… you might have just been the hottest guy in the world or are you self-aware?”
“Silly. The 3D model of this avatar is just really high-quality. Deep inside is just some plain old 30-year-old, remember? You wouldn’t even bat an eye if you pa.s.sed me by on the street.
Now, I will apologize for getting too close to you, but don’t dwell on it. We’re back to normal.”

We walked as we talked, and another enemy drew close.

“… ah. Another one presents itself. Shall we?”

Kiryū swung his crowbar at the zombie at almost the same moment as I said that. It sounded oddly heavy when it collided… does he have some sort of superhuman strength?

“That’s a big swarm of ‘em.”
“It sure is. Gets your blood pumping, don’t they?
There will be more of them too. One of the game’s selling points was the ‘fun of slaying dynamic enemies that get progressively stronger’… whoa?!”

I instinctively shrieked as Kiryū knocked all the zombies down with his crowbar. Here I thought he was just running away.

“Oh… wow, Kiryū… you sure are strong…”
“I exercise.”

He rested the crowbar on his shoulder before returning back to the action. I couldn’t help but stare dumbfounded at him. I thought so too when he grabbed my cheeks, but he’s crazy strong.

He exercises, huh? I don’t think exercise gets anyone that far, but…

I was still in awe as I shouldered my rifle but Kiryū stopped me before I could a.s.sist him.

“Hold on, Sera.
What did you mean ‘dynamic enemies that get progressively stronger’?
I’ve only fought regular zombies before I met you… and I killed all that I’ve seen. Do they get stronger because of that?”
“Huh? Oh, right, you don’t really play… it’s because you haven’t killed them all off yet.
In this game, the zombies you kill are all just mooks. Part of the fun of this game lies in slaughtering them.”
“… kinda like Grand Vehicle Larceny…”
“It’s fun, isn’t it? The zombies get tougher and then the tougher ones start to swarm you too. It actually gets pretty hard because of that. And now that I think about it, if that happens, the safehouse becomes not so safe anymore.”
“Wait, wait, wait! Isn’t that really, really bad?! The more we kill now, the harder it’ll get later!”
“…”
“…”
“… oh. Oh!”
“You just realized?”
“I just realized… I’m sorry. The gamer in me got carried away again…”

Now that I think about it, I kinda screwed the pooch. It had become instinctive for me to play like this.
Since the more we kill, the harder they get, we should really stop killing them…

“We have to be careful and pick our battles… but that’s a challenge in itself. If we don’t kill them now, we won’t level up and it’ll be harder later too.”
“Talk about a catch-22… I’ll do my best with the crowbar, so hold off on the a.s.sault rifle. I need to get some levels too.”

We advance on the zombies as we chatted away. Kiryū focused on the “slightly stronger” zombies and swung away at them. How is he that strong?

“… the crowbar isn’t supposed to be that strong of a weapon.”
“Is that right? Maybe I’ve gotten used to it, but it feels good in my hand.”
“That’s strange. The crowbar is so heavy though…”

Another swarm of zombies showed up as we finished the previous batch.

“This is bad. There are more of them showing up than I expected.”
“… you’ve probably overleveled, huh? It might be rough even with the unlimited ammo rifle if there’s any more of them.”

Kiryū sighed as he bashed the brains out of the top of the zombies’ heads. Then, he turned around and looked at me.

“Sera. With all said and done, we still have to go get your phone and Vital Watch, right?
And if we keep killing zombies at this pace, the safehouse wouldn’t be safe enough for us to sit and discuss things… right?”
“… that’s right. I’m sorry.”

I apologized as I slumped my shoulders. I told him that he was in safe hands and to leave it all to me but look at our predicament now… how pathetic of me. I couldn’t possibly apologize enough.
But Kiryū with a spry Keep your head up, he patted me on the back with one hand while holding his crowbar with the other.

“Where did your easygoing att.i.tude go? I prefer the maniacal smile on your face when you committed genocide on the zombies. And plus, we can still do this together.”
“… huh?”
“I’d be lost in this world if I were just by myself, but now I’ve got you and your wealth of knowledge… now, how do we get back to the starting area of the game?”
“Huh? It might be a little hard, but I think we should be able to do it.”
“Then, lead the way. Take us to the Vital Watch and your smartphone so we can recover those two key items.”
“What are you trying to accomplish?”

I looked up at him and asked. Kiryū—as if peac.o.c.king his flashy good looks in my face—smiled brightly at me.

“—to break out of the system of this game.”

■Kiryū

A prudent game developer. He has his reasons to be careful avoiding leaking any sensitive data, so he only lurks other people’s tweets.
His avatar is very well put together, but the real person behind it isn’t far off. The ladies often approach him. However, for some reason, he seems to be a very late bloomer. Maybe it would be more accurate to say that he has closed his heart off to potential romance relations.h.i.+ps.
He’s taken a liking to his fancy Makita vacuum cleaner that he bought for no good reason.

: // // // /ch004/ /next/