A Snail's Wisdom 10 A Calamitous Combination

'It hasn't been a whole day yet, and I am already going crazy. Better finish eating this snail before I forget how to chew food too.'

Kenja opened his mouth and put the sh.e.l.l between his teeth. He began absorbing Qi to reinforce his teeth and gums. A few moments later, he felt Qi filling his mouth as he began applying pressure on the sh.e.l.l.

'The more advanced snails' sh.e.l.ls will require the full strength of a Body Tempering cultivator to crush, so I just have to crush it all at once.'

He circulated as much Qi as he could and pushed it all to his jaws. He slackened his jaws to maximize the force he can exert on the sh.e.l.l all at once. The moment he felt that his mouth reached the maximum power it could unleash at once, he bit down as hard as he could.

"OOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!"

He yelled with the sh.e.l.l still between his teeth.

"Hahahaha, serves you right for trying to eat me!"

Kenja was surprised and spit the sh.e.l.l out onto the ground. It rolled several times before it stopped abruptly and turned towards him. Two tentacles squirmed out from the sh.e.l.l's opening followed by a head.

"What the h.e.l.l are you doing? Do you spit on your grandpa, too? Do kids your generation not know respect?!"

The snail rebuked Kenja. Kenja held his jaw in an attempt to nurse it as he was trying to decide if what he was seeing was a hallucination or reality.

"You can speak?" Kenja questioned the potential illusion.

"Can I speak? Can you speak, idiot? Can you believe this guy?" He turned his head and asked n.o.body in particular.

Kenja moved his hand from his jaw to his head. 'Oh no, my hallucination is hallucinating.' Kenja slumped onto the rock as he pondered whether he was still conscious or if this was all a dream. The snail, having seen Kenja's change in behavior, began moving his tentacles up and down inspecting him.

"What's wrong? Has meeting the awe-inspiring and all-powerful..."

The snail paused for a moment as if trying to remember the next word.

"...me left you speechless?"

Indeed speechless, Kenja stretched his back onto the rock resigning himself to his end when he suddenly heard a vibrating sound coming from the direction that the snail spoke to before. He turned his head and saw nothing except the blade jutting out from the rock.

"Stop laughing! What the h.e.l.l do you mean I forgot my own name you..."

The snail paused once again looking for the right word to say next.

"...p.u.b.e-trimmer!?"

Kenja saw a bright red aura emanating from the blade as it vibrated violently. 'He's talking to the blade?'

"So what if I forgot your name, do you even remember your own name?" The snail asked in a half-mocking tone.

The blade withheld its aura and movement. The snail seeing no response adopted a smug att.i.tude and harrumphed at the sword. He turned back to Kenja who was back on his feet as he realized that he might not be hallucinating.

"How did you get past both barriers anyways?"

"Barriers?"

"Yes, barriers. Are you deaf and both kinds of dumb? Hurry and answer my question," the snail commanded authoritatively.

"I don't remember pa.s.sing through any barrier," Kenja answered honestly.

"Well, of course you don't remember pa.s.sing through any barrier. If people knew the barrier was there, it wouldn't be doing its job. Now tell me, are you a cultivator or a mortal?"

Kenja held his breath for a moment before answering. "I'm a cultivator."

The snail paced back and forth while keeping one eye on Kenja and one eye closed in deep contemplation. After a few moments, he kept his eyes in place but shook his head vigorously.

"No, no, that can't be. If you were a cultivator, my barrier would have prevented you from approaching this glade."

Kenja's mood soured at this logic as he was forced to admit something he wished to refuse with every bone in his body.

"I'm a mortal."

The snail paced back and forth once more closing both eyes this time in deep contemplation. Once again, he shook his head vigorously.

"Nah, that can't be. If you were a mortal, that guy's barrier would have kept you away as well."

At this point, the blade vibrated loudly as if responding to the snail's words.

"That's right! You were drawing Qi in earlier when you asked me for a lesson. Hurry and draw in some Qi!"

'He's referring to nearly breaking my jaw as a lesson,' Kenja sweatdropped at the snail's words.

"I can't really draw a lot of Qi into my body," confessed Kenja.

"No need to worry. The Qi in this glade is quite dense, so you should be able to draw Qi in better than usual. Just do like you did earlier."

Kenja found it odd conversing with a small animal and an inanimate object, but he hadn't felt the pressure from the forest for a while, and he was relieved to find someone else sharing his dilemma. So he figured there would be no harm in displaying his Qi-breathing. He stood up straight and widened his stance. He breathed in and out in a repet.i.tive fas.h.i.+on under the snail's deep stare. All of a sudden, he heard a pop and felt a sticky substance on his face. Kenja jumped back in surprise before yelling out.

"What are you doing?!"

The snail had jumped onto his face and was currently staring at his right eye with both of his eyes.

"What? You can put me in your mouth, but I can't touch your face? Show your elder respect and shut your trap! Continue drawing in the Qi."

Kenja's temper was quickly rising, but he did as he was told and continued drawing Qi into his meridians. He felt the slimy sensation moving down his face and into his clothes. The snail circled his torso several times while emitting "mhms" and "I see" every now and then. All of a sudden, he stopped over Kenja's heart and spoke out loud.

"Pull your Qi into your heart. I need to see your soul."

Kenja did not usually use the Qi to nourish his soul since he was still at the Body Tempering stage, and nouris.h.i.+ng his soul at this stage would not really benefit him. In fact, nouris.h.i.+ng the soul at such an early stage could hinder his future capabilities and potential. Despite the risk to himself, he followed the snail's command and pushed some amount of Qi to his heart. He did this for several cycles until, all of a sudden, the snail detached himself from Kenja's torso and fell out of his s.h.i.+rt onto the floor laughing.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

"NAIL CUTTER...HAHAHAHA....LOOK AT THIS....HAHAHAHA"

"HE HAS A PERFECT BODY AND A PERFECT SOUL"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

At this point, the blade's red aura violently pulsed out alongside its rapid vibrations.

"Hahahaha...okay, okay, I'm sorry. Don't get so angry. It was just really funny." The snail stopped after the blade's berating. Kenja was baffled at the turn of events. This was not the first time he heard these phrases: Perfect Body and Perfect Soul.

Kenja interrupted the snail's sn.i.g.g.e.ring, "What does a Perfect Body and Perfect Soul mean?" The snail looked up at Kenja before deciding whether to answer him or not.

"Do you know the two basic pillars of cultivation?"

Kenja nodded.

"What are they?"

"The body which contains the meridians and acupoints for drawing in Qi and nouris.h.i.+ng the various aspects of the human anatomy through the cycle of Yin and Yang. The soul which holds the Qi and evolves the human body past its normal limits through constant cultivation and life-changing experiences."

"Good. Now what are the flaws of each pillar?" The snail asked as if educating a child.

"The body's meridians are imperfect. No matter how much Qi the body absorbs, some of it will leak out through the imperfections and loose acupoints before completing a cycle or reaching the soul."

The snail nodded his head in agreement as Kenja continued.

"As for the soul, it is also imperfect. As you collect Qi with your soul, it will continuously leak out through its holes and imperfections," Kenja finished answering the snail.

The snail continued to nod his head as if a teacher acknowledging a student's correct answer.

"Yes, yes, very good. You are indeed knowledgeable despite barely being a cultivator."

"But both these imperfections can be lessened through cultivation and advancement to Immortality, can't they?" Kenja queried.

"Sure, they can, but you haven't reached the crux of your problem. Do you know what const.i.tutions are?" The snail continued his lecture that seemed to be testing Kenja's knowledge concerning various aspects of cultivation.

Kenja nodded his head. He had seen several lectures on const.i.tutions during his three years of looking over the Flowing River Sect wall. Const.i.tutions were rare conditions people were born with or sometimes developed. For example, the Yin Water const.i.tution allows the cultivator to easily harvest Yin energy and convert it into the water element for battles or other activities.

"So have you learned about the Perfect Body and Perfect Soul const.i.tution?"

Kenja paused a few moments to reflect on his memories.

"If I am remembering correctly, the Perfect Body const.i.tution is a 1-in-million const.i.tution where the mortal is born with meridians five-times larger than average. It's an incredibly envious const.i.tution, and all cultivators born with such a const.i.tution reach earth-shattering heights. The Perfect Soul const.i.tution is even rarer than the Perfect Body const.i.tution, only one every ten million are born with such a const.i.tution, and their souls are ten times larger than average. Cultivators with the Perfect Soul const.i.tution are legends that cannot be compared to the world's standard."

The snail nodded his head before moving his eyes farther up giving Kenja quite the stare. Kenja was slightly uncomfortable with the sudden attention, but he didn't falter.

"Well?"

"What?"

"You still don't see it?"

Kenja was completely lost. The snail sighed with disappointment as if he were burdened with the responsibility of being the only thing in the world with an acceptable level of intelligence.

"What are the downsides of each of these const.i.tutions?"

Kenja tried to remember the various details of the const.i.tution lectures, but they didn't go too in-depth. There were over a million const.i.tutions in the world, and those lectures weren't extensive to begin with. Tired of waiting for an answer, the snail decided to help him out.

"The Perfect Body const.i.tution may have meridians five times larger than average, but its flaws are five times larger as well. Areas with lesser amounts of Qi would cause Perfect Body cultivators to seem like they cannot draw Qi into their body. Without careful attention from evaluators, many Perfect Body const.i.tutions are missed, and a person that could have rocked the Immortal world dies a mortal without even beginning the Body Tempering stage. Now that I've told you the flaws of one const.i.tution, can you guess the downside of the other?" The snail eyed Kenja expectantly.

"If the Perfect Body const.i.tution causes the flaws in the meridians to be five times larger, then wouldn't that mean that the flaws in a Perfect Soul are..." Kenja trailed off.

"Yes, the Perfect Soul would leak out ten times as much Qi. With the body barely drawing any Qi to the soul and the soul barely holding any Qi in, how could anyone cultivate?"

The snail paused for a moment as if to drum roll the final point.

"Two miraculous const.i.tutions come together to make one calamitous combination! Isn't that hilarious?" The snail chuckled.