Upside Down 86 Chapter 84: Crisis Of Conscience

I walk up behind her, slip my arms around her waist, kiss her neck, and tell her, "I love you Chinatsu."

She reaches down and twines her fingers with mine. "I love you too Sora… Come on, lets shower so we can soak and relax."

I give her a tight squeeze, kiss her neck again, and release her. After she sits down, I wash her with my hands while kissing and caressing every part of her. I then rinse her off, wet down her hair again, wash it and then condition it. One final rinse and I wind her hair up on top of her head and pin it in place.

She trades places with me to wash me, my hair and condition it. After a final rinse, she winds up my hair and pins it in place. I stand, lead her to the tub, and make her sit in my lap facing me. I pull her to me for a kiss, which quickly turns fervent, she melts against me as we kiss and cuddle for the next several minutes.

After I finally break our kiss, she lays her head on my shoulder and whispers, "That was wonderful," as I begin kissing and nibbling on her neck and shoulder. A s.h.i.+ver runs up her spine when I lick her from her collar bone to her ear and begin rolling her nipples between my fingers.

I've not said a word to her since I told her I love her and I don't plan to for the moment. Showing is much better than telling and much more effective. She leans back to look at me. It's so easy to see how aroused she is because she's flushed, her eyes are damp and she has a torrid expression. As I lean down to suck and nibble on her left nipple, she pulls me tight against her breast begging for more as she pants and gasps due to the pleasure surging through her. When she quietly calls out, "Oh, Sora!" I know she's close and I bite her nipple fairly hard. She gasps out a loud, "Hah," and arches her back as the tremors from her o.r.g.a.s.m wash over her.

I don't even wait for her trembling to die down as I reach between her legs and gently begin ma.s.saging her jewel. She bucks in my lap with the first stroke across it as she c.u.ms again. I know every little trick of her luscious body and I plan to make full use of that knowledge. She leans forward to cling to me and lays her head on my shoulder as she pants, gasps, and whines out the pleasure she's feeling. I slow down ma.s.saging her jewel, taking long, slow strokes to maximize contact with it and push her closer to the edge.

As she spirals upward toward another o.r.g.a.s.m, I can tell this one is going to be big by the way she's reacting to my touch. I speed up my strokes the closer she comes and she can barely even breathe at this point. Until I finally bite her shoulder very hard sending her over the edge. She returns the favor when she bites my shoulder to keep from screaming as the shocks of pleasure course through her.

I allow her to simply cling to me this time as she tries to catch her breath. I lean back to get in a more comfortable position as I hold this girl I love so very much tightly against me. I close my eyes basking in the pleasant feel of her soft body against mine.

There are a lot of things I never expected in my life. Becoming a girl is foremost on that list. Now, I think we all know I'm not b.i.t.c.hing about it because I love being a girl. I suppose the easiest way to say this is, I love this version of me.

Second would be falling in love with a boy. The thought of a boy touching me was repugnant when I first woke up. I am a girl though, so I suppose falling in love with a boy would be normal and natural. Chinatsu, well, let's just say that was destined to happen no matter what gender I am. Saying we own each others heart isn't very far from the truth.

There are many, many more, but they aren't really worth going into and I'm sure you know a lot of them.

When Chinatsu kisses my neck, I open my eyes. She sits up to look at me, and reaches up to caress my cheek. "Oh My G.o.d Sora! That was extraordinary. You basically had me in one continuous o.r.g.a.s.m."

As I smile at her, she leans in to kiss me. Afterward, she lays her head back on my shoulder, she cuddles up close to me, and relaxes.

A few minutes later, she whispers, "Want to talk to me about it?"

I murmur, "Sorry about earlier. It just hit me really hard when he said I was dead. I don't know why it did, but it hurt so badly. Inside, I was screaming 'I'm alive! I'm right here in your arms!' I wanted to tell him the truth, but I know how bad of an idea that is. At best he would be disgusted and walk away from me. I couldn't blame him either. I'm a boy who turned into a girl and I love my former friend. It almost feels as if I tricked him into falling in love with me and it hurts as much as it makes me happy that he loves me." I close my eyes and let out a deep sigh. "I'm not sure I could take him walking away from me anymore Chinatsu. It would be the same as if you left me. It would tear out my heart."

"Sora. Listen, I can understand that it would hurt you when he talked about that. h.e.l.l, you took being told you're legally dead much better than I ever would have. I would have completely freaked out. All you did was smile and nod. You're so brave at the oddest of times and that's something I have always loved about you. I agree though, talking to him about your change is an extremely bad idea."

She pauses to hug me tightly. "Sora, you didn't trick him into loving you. You're more of a real girl than I am. Look at yourself. You're very feminine, more so than most girls I know. You're graceful and so elegant. There may have always been a girl in you struggling to get out. I know you never liked being a boy. Remember how many times we played dress up when we were six? You were always smiling and looking at yourself in the mirror when we did. I always thought that was so d.a.m.n cute."

She looks at me intently for a few moments and then continues, "You know, I had plans for us to get married when we graduated from high school, but that plan flew away with your change. It's fine though, this is just as good, if not better, since you are so happy. You've really become very well adjusted since you became a girl. You're everything you always were as a boy; gentle, kind, generous, loving, loyal, and now, you're so much more than just those. I love every single aspect of you and I'm very sure Ryu does as well. How could he not?"

"What's going to happen if he finds out?"

"How could he, unless you tell him? Sora, you look nothing like you used to. Nothing about you isn't female. You can have babies. You have periods. Look at that body of yours and tell me one thing about it that isn't female."

"Chinatsu, is it wrong for me to love him? That I want to get married and have his children?"

"Have you not been paying attention to me? You are a girl in every way, so it's perfectly natural that you fall in love with a boy and want to have his children. We're a little different than most since we also love each other as well as boys, but that doesn't detract from what I said. It's also perfectly natural for a boy to fall in love with you. You have b.r.e.a.s.t.s, a v.a.g.i.n.a, working ovaries, a uterus and according to the tests Dr. Sato did, XX chromosomes, so by every standard in this world you're female. Ask Dr. Sato if your female or male and guess what he'll tell you."

"Alright, thank you Chinatsu. I suppose this is nothing more than a crisis of conscience. I feel as if I've lied to him by not telling him that I was a boy and you know how much I hate lies."

"I know. Listen, what you were doesn't matter any longer. It's who and what you are now that's important. Keep that in mind… Come on, let's get out and go to bed. I don't know about you, but for me, this has been a very long, tiring day. I want to cuddle with the girl I love and sleep."

"That it has."

[Sat.u.r.day, July 13th]

Chinatsu's groan wakes me a little after 6:00 in the morning and I know exactly what the problem is, PMS.

As I clear away the sleep from my eyes, I ask, "How bad is it?"

"Very bad. Much worse than normal."

"Do you want one of my meds?"

"Is it alright?"

"Of course. We might ought to talk to Dr. Sato to give you a prescription for them when we see him next." I say as I stand up, go to the desk to get a pill for her and the bottle of water we keep there. Bringing them back, I help her sit up, and hand them to her. She takes it with a drink, hands me the bottle, which I set on the nightstand, and she sighs.

"Do you want to take a hot bath?"

"That sounds lovely."

"Okay, get yourself a gown and some panties. I'll fill the bath."

I grab my nightgown and panties and put them on. Open a drawer and take a new one of each and head out into the hall closing the door behind me. I knock on Sofi's door and don't get an answer. I suppose she's still sleeping, so I open the door, go over to her bed, sit beside her, and gently shake her.

When she opens her eyes, she says, "Morning Sora. What time is it?"

"Morning lil' sis. It's around 6:15. We're going to bathe. Are you coming?" She nods. "Alright, then get you a fresh nightgown and panties we'll meet you down there."

I stand and head to Honoka's room. I knock on her door and hear, "Come in."

I smile at Honoka when I see her sitting up. "Morning Nee-chan. We're taking a bath, do you want to join us?"

"Of course."

I walk over to Mayumi's bed, sit down by her and touch her cheek. When she opens her eyes. "Morning. Want to take a bath with us?"

She stretches and says, "Sounds lovely."

"Good. No clothes needed just bring a new nightgown and panties. It's not as we have anywhere to be this morning for once. I'll see you both down there."

In the bathroom, I set my clothes on the shelf, start the tub filling, and undress. Chinatsu comes in, undresses and comes over to kiss me.

"Careful, Mayumi is still here, and she's coming down to bath with us."

"Sora, it isn't as if she doesn't already know about us. Everyone here does. You were cooking breakfast with Honoka when she told me that we make a cute couple."

"Nice of you to keep me updated on events that concern me."

"I thought you knew she knows. That's why I didn't say anything."

"So much for us being discrete."

She chuckles. "We are discrete Sora. Mayumi simply knows us very well, so of course she would pick up on it."

"Okay, whatever. It isn't as if she'll say anything to anyone else anyway. Come on, lets shower. By the way, thank you for last night."

She pulls me to her and hugs me. "Anytime Sora. I've told you before I'm always here for you."

"I know, but I appreciate it nonetheless. I have more than my fair share of issues."

"Don't worry, you'll get them all worked out eventually."

I take a step back, take her hand, and lead us into the bathing area. I point to the shower chair and she sits as I turn on the shower to warm up the water. "Do you want me to wash your hair again?"

She pulls her hair around to feel it. "Yes and conditioner too, it's still rather dry. I don't want to get split ends." She suddenly grins at me. "You know, I always hated having long hair, but it isn't so bad once you get used to it."

I chuckle. "Wait until your hair gets as long as mine. If it weren't for all of you helping me take care of this heavy mess, I'd have cut it off to waist length no matter how mad it would make Mama."

Mayumi's voice comes from behind me as she says, "Don't you dare Sora! I've always loved your hair."

"Don't worry Mayumi, I did say if I didn't have help. You have no idea how much care hair this long takes. It takes at least half an hour to wash, even more if we have to condition it, which is quite often. Another 45 minutes to blow dry and brush it out. Then there's styling it to keep it out of my way. Chinatsu and Honoka trade off brus.h.i.+ng my hair in the evening and that takes another hour. It's a lot of work, but I do love the way I look with long hair."

"Good, I'm like your mother, I don't want to see you cut it either."

"It's alright, I'm not going to do that."

Honoka says from behind her, "Mom would flip out if you did."

Sofi asks, "Why would Mom flip out if Sora cut her hair?"

"Mama loves the way I look with long hair, that's why. As a matter of fact you can forget cutting your hair too Sofi. Honoka already knows how Mama is about our hair… Now, with all that said, how about we shower and soak."

After we've all showered, I make Chinatsu scoot forward, climb in behind her, and pull her back against me. I find a comfortable position as I hold her and we relax to allow the hot water to work it's magic.

◇ ◆ ◇ ◆ ◇ ◆ ◇

After bathing, we head into the kitchen to fix breakfast for everyone. Today is going to be a simple meal, fried eggs, hash browns, bacon, cream gravy and biscuits. Thankfully, we still have plenty of biscuit dough left from the other day, or it would take quite a while to make some.

I'm setting everything on the table and just about to send Chinatsu to wake Mama and Dad when they walk into the dining room. Everyone tells them, "Good morning," and they tell us, "Good morning."

"Would you like some tea?" Chinatsu asks them.

Dad nods and Mama says, "Yes, please."

I set the last platter on the table and take my seat as Chinatsu brings them their cups and then sits down next to me. Everyone serves themselves and we begin eating.

After taking a few bites, Mama takes a sip of her tea and says, "Sora, I'd like to talk to you after breakfast."

"Alright." I say hesitantly.

Mama smiles at me. "It's nothing bad sweetheart. I just need to talk to you that's all."

Which just makes me that much more nervous because I'm running everything through my head trying to figure out what I could have done to be in trouble. The only thing that comes to mind is that she might have heard Ryu make me c.u.m last night. Oh my G.o.d! I hope that isn't it.

I nod. "Okay Mama."

After we eat and clean up, I nervously head to Mama's room to find out what she wants.

I knock on her door and hear, "Come in."

I enter and close the door behind me. "Mama, you wanted to talk to me?"

She nods and pats her lap. I walk over and sit down. She pulls me against her to hug me and asks, "Why were you crying last night sweetheart?"

I feel a wave of relief rush through me and blow out my breath. "You heard me, huh?"

"We both did."

"It's simple and it's not. Ryu and I were talking last night and he talked about the male me being bullied and how he tried to stop it. He said he feels a little responsible for my death. I got upset over it. Inside, I was screaming, 'I'm not dead! I'm right here in your arms!' It upset me far more than I thought it would and it made me feel like I've been lying to him and tricked him into falling in love with me. Mama, you know how I feel about lying, and that made it even harder to deal with, so I cried."

"Why do you feel as if you tricked him?"

"I'm a boy who turned into a girl and he doesn't know. I can't tell him either for so many reasons, but I know if he were to find out it would make him sick, walk away from me, and hate me."

"I a.s.sume you girls already talked about this, but sweetheart you're a girl, you haven't tricked him into anything. You are a girl, an extremely beautiful one. One that any boy would be lucky to be with."

"I know Mama, Chinatsu said the same thing last night in the bath." I chuckle softly. "She was a bit more direct about it though. 'You have a v.a.g.i.n.a, b.o.o.bs, a uterus, and working ovaries, so what about you isn't female?' Logically, I know you are both right, but emotionally, I still feel as if I've lied to him. It hurts me as much as it makes me happy that he loves me. I was so afraid to fall in love with him and now that I have, I'm terrified."

Mama kisses my forehead. "Sora, I have to wonder if any parent has ever had to worry about their child as much as I do about you. You have so many issues to deal with and I'm always afraid they'll break you one of these days. Your father says you're a tough girl and to not worry so much, but that's hard for me."

I look up at Mama with a wry grin. "I am tough, Mama, or I'd have broken a long time ago. I'm simply a bit overly emotional since I became a girl. Like I told Chinatsu last night, this is probably just a crisis of conscience for me. I hate lies with a pa.s.sion. Not telling someone everything is a lie by omission, but I know I can't tell him this either, so it upset me. That's all this really is. I'm fine after talking to Chinatsu."

"Sweetheart, I know you know this, but I'll say it anyway. You can't ever tell anyone about your change. It'd be far too dangerous for you. Things are dangerous enough without adding more dimensions to the threat."

"I know Mama. I promise I won't."

"I hoped you would promise me. Now, what do you girls have planned for today?"

"Not much really, picking up the boys tuxedos is all that we have to do."

"Good. You've been far too busy lately. You need some down time. Are they coming over to go with you?"

"We didn't make any plans for that, but I'd like them to, if for nothing more than to make sure they fit properly. Oh, the place I bought them from is the same place that Dad gets his suits. I thought that was one heck of a coincidence."

"So you met Mr. Kano. He's a bit old fas.h.i.+oned, but his shop is one of the best in Tokyo."

"He seems really nice. I'm glad we went there. I know when Ryu and Ryo need more suits or the like we'll be going back there. Chinatsu and I are doing our best to get them to dress better. Ryu needs to get used to it because he says he wants to be a lawyer."

"Yes, he will. What about Ryo?"

"Chinatsu thinks he hasn't even begun to know what he wants to do."

"I'm sure he'll figure it out… You know, I really love our little chats like this."

"I do too Mama. Umm… Chinatsu and I would like you to teach us how to use makeup. We really liked how we looked for the date you helped us get ready for."

"I'd be happy to. Just let me know when you want me to do so. You know sweetheart, even with me knowing you used to be a boy, I just can't see it anymore. You are so feminine. I'm proud of you and it makes me very happy and proud that you're my daughter."

"Thank you Mama. I'm very happy to have you and Dad as my parents as well."

She hugs me tightly for a few minutes. "Why don't you go catch up with Chinatsu. I'm sure she's worried about what we're talking about."

"Okay, I'll see you a little later Mama."

She kisses my forehead again and lets me go.

I stand and I'm walking to the door when she says, "Sora, I love you very, very much. I hope you know that."

I turn around and walk back to her. I hug her, say, "I know, I love you too Mama," and kiss her cheek. Letting her go, I head out the door and upstairs to our room.

I find Chinatsu inside sitting on the bed waiting for me.

"What did Mom want?"

"She heard me crying last night and want to know why."

"Oh. Well, at least it wasn't about Ryu making you c.u.m."

"You knew?"

She giggles. "Hard not to. After all, you were right next to us and you weren't exactly quiet," she says, which makes me blush.

"Sorry, he had me really worked up." I mutter.

"I noticed, but it's nothing to be sorry about. Ryo's eyes were as big as dinner plates though," she tells me with a mischievous grin.

"You sure do love to love to tease me."

"Only because you are so d.a.m.n cute when you blush."

I go over to the bed and sit down beside her. "Today's the first time in a long time we don't have anywhere to be for a while. Come snuggle."

I lay down, then she cuddles up to me, and says, "I love you."

"I love you too Chinatsu."