If It's Your Will 35 Lu Shan's Story

Father told me that he'll never love someone who have taken her the person he only love but I didn't hate him but I admire him.

I admire him because his hatred means that he really love the person who gave birth to me – my mother. I think that I'm lucky that he love mother from the bottom of his heart, my brothers Murong Shaozu and Murong Shen have the same approach to me but I didn't have the right to hate him after all they're my only father and brothers that will never change it.

I have never knew what it's like to have a mother but at least I have father and my brothers I knew that everything's going to be alright.

I want them to love me but no matter what I do I can't have it because there's always a wall that is always prevent me from getting close to them, so I made a decision. I have worked harder than anyone can do and tried to excel in everything and give them honor. I want to be a person they can be proud of.

Then one day before I realize it I have lost my emotions. Everything seems to be so easy for me There is nothing that I can't do. , I even created a rival… no it seems to be an enemy. I think the reason is that one of the obstacle in her way to be a queen because of standing. When the emperor recognized me as a princess I have just give him a very boring expression and somewhat I can hear him mutter something such as 'how pitiful'.

Yes, I have become a very pitiful person and there's nothing I can do about it. Perhaps this is the only thing that I cannot do.

When my father and brothers learned about the rank that was bestowed to me by the emperor they immediately showed themselves they look happy at first but then at the end they said the same thing the emperor said.

I wonder if because I have became a princess that they have finally find time to be with me and be treated as someone precious but I wonder why?

Why did I not feel happy at all?

Then one time when the event where I have take my position as a second rank princess, I saw him.

That is the first time that I have met him, he is like the rays of the sun in the morning when you wake up – such a gentle person. Everyone has been getting attached to his charisma and that includes me.

That's when I realize that I love him. I tried to get near him but there's something that keeps us apart but even so I didn't give up. I have shown him all the things that I can but… still.

When I was invited to his birthday I thought that finally, finally I can get close to him…

But in the whole time he didn't even gave me even a little glimpse instead his eyes looked at something so gentle and filled with longing and I have trace the place he is looking and I have found a very pet.i.te woman that have a very long bangs that no one can see her hair.

I smiled bitterly.

I give up, there's nothing that I can do about it anymore I have lost and I hope for your happiness.

A Suivre…