Part-Time Taoist Priest Chapter 3

I might be a fool.

After Xie Lingya looked at him as if he was mentally handicapped, He Zun recalled what he'd just said. Pooh, was he brain-dead?

The sweeper monk? Monk, in a Taoist temple? Would a normal person say something this stupid?

Xie Lingya understood He Zun might've been frightened enough to temporarily lose control of his mental facilities, so he let this pa.s.s. "You'd better rest for now, I don't think you want to go out either. You'll have to squeeze with me though—is this fine?"

He Zun nodded.

And so, he spent the night in Baoyang Temple. Before he fell asleep, Xie Lingya told him that all the priests were currently out (but actually, there were none). It was a pity because he still had a ton of questions, and Xie Lingya was unable to answer them.

After Xie Lingya woke up the next morning, He Zun was still sleeping, and snoring loudly—not like someone traumatized by his ghostly ordeal at all. He looked at his guest for a long moment, speechless, but didn't wake him up.

He got up and sat outside to continue transcribing the records. In one of them, he found an old talisman, probably one of his uncle's early attempts. After so many years, the cinnabar symbol was still sharp and vividly red.

While Xie Lingya examined it, an idea came to him. He used to be interested in these things when he was younger. His plans for the future career changed, but maybe he could still play with them in his spare time.

For one thing, he needed to have at least some knowledge to be able to find a suitable successor for his uncle. For another, what happened last night made him realize that having more skills was a good thing. Right now, he more or less represented Baoyang. If he didn't recruit Taoist priests soon, wouldn't he have to personally preach about the harmony with Tao?

So, Xie Lingya studied the talisman for a while, then rummaged around for yellow paper, brush, and cinnabar, and prepared to copy it.

First, he practiced using ordinary ink, and in the beginning, his writing was awkward, but as he continued, his moves became more and more proficient. He painted the symbol a few times, then switched to cinnabar.

Using cinnabar seemed to make drawing easier. It was no longer early, and the world outside was getting noisy, so Xie Lingya wore his headphones and put on "Little Leaping Frog" 7A Chinese children's song. to tune it out. Instantly, he focused, and the movement of his pen became natural, smooth like floating clouds and flowing water.

The symbol he drew was nearly identical to the one his uncle drew—it seemed that he copied it successfully.

This talisman was called "Five Great Mountains House Blessing Talisman."8Talisman drawing on the energy of the Five Great Mountains of China to bless the house and ward off evil. It's rather powerful. Xie Lingya painted a batch, dried them and put them away. His hand was still feeling the itch to draw, so he flipped through the notes and found a set of simple-looking symbols that should be easy to copy.

After finis.h.i.+ng painting, Xie Lingya glanced at the notes, and casually scribbled, "Six Jia Talisman."9It's probably a weaker version (or Xie Lingya was too lazy to write the whole name) of Divine Talisman of Six Jia, which is very powerful and very famous. It invokes the power of the Generals of the Six Jia which protects the user from harm and exorcises demons, among other things.

Well, the name sounds simple too.

While he waited for the talismans to dry, He Zun exited the room, yawning and stretching. He saw the yellow paper and came closer, full of curiosity and eagerly asked, "You can draw talismans?"

"Actually, I only began to learn how," Xie Lingya said modestly.

About half an hour ago.

He Zun gave the talismans a few more glances. "Oh, right. Master, I wanted to donate some incense money to thank you and Spirit Official. Are there any rules, or a minimum amount?"

"No, you give as much as you want to." Xie Lingya was pleasantly surprised. He Zun seemed to be an airhead, so he didn't expect the first donation to come from him.

The young man rummaged through his pockets. Finally, he dug out 327 yuan and 5 jiao10about 46 dollars. and asked, "Where should I put it?"

Xie Lingya: "……"

You could've at least rounded it up. Wordlessly, he pointed to the donation box.

He Zun left himself some money for the taxi fare and threw the rest into the wooden box. He kept eyeing the paper talismans as he asked, "Can you give me a few of these?"

Xie Lingya thought, Heck, I just learned drawing talismans today. Are these really good enough to be given to people?

Misunderstanding his hesitation, He Zun took out his phone. "Do I have to buy them? But I really don't have any more cash, can I pay by Wechat?"

"Forget it, you can have them for free." No matter how thick-skinned Xie Lingya was, collecting money for his practice pieces was a bit too much. He stuffed the talismans into the other man's hands. "Um, I really just began to learn…"

So it wasn't you being modest? He Zun took them, a little disappointed. "Okay."

He lit the incense in front of the Spirit Official w.a.n.g's statue. Only then did he leave Baoyang Temple.

After returning to university, He Yuan told his roommates about his adventures last night. In the beginning, they got gooseflesh, but as the story continued, they felt more and more dubious. In the end, everyone began to ask him just how drunk he had been.

Not only his friends didn't believe him. When he called his family, they wondered if he fell into bad company and was doing drugs. However, though He Zun was unable to explain it, he was absolutely sure what he experienced last night was not a hallucination.

He searched the internet, trying to find out what exactly he'd encountered, and found a website on Taoist knowledge, but even after scouring it, he wasn't able to tell.

It also had a section on symbols and talismans. He Zun remembered the talismans Xie Lingya gave him and decided to take a look.

[Drawing magical symbols is not as simple as shown on the TV. You need to cleanse yourself, burn incense, put up the altar, and recite prayers. The surroundings have to be quiet and your heart empty of distractions. Only then can you draw a good symbol! Though for masters, it's possible to skip rituals, they also consume a lot of energy to draw, and may collapse if they aren't careful!]

He Zun was a bit ashamed of himself for pestering Xie Lingya. Although the man said he'd just started, drawing talismans was hard even for masters, so it could be imagined how much effort a beginner had to put in.

If he had read something like that before, he probably would've thought the author was nuts, but now, he was a believer. He closed the website with respect.

—Of course, if he had scrolled down, he would've seen a reb.u.t.ting comment beneath the text:

[Haha, what a bunch of nonsense! "A bit of insight, drawing succeeds, untalented, and waste ink and cinnabar!" In theory, if drawing symbols is so difficult for you, it simply means you have no talent!]

A few days later, He Zun and his three roommates went to a movie premiere. When they exited the cinema, it was already late. It was easier to catch a taxi on another street, so they wanted to head in that direction.

Recalling his experience, He Zun hurried to say, "Let's go another way, last time I encountered a ghost there. f.u.c.k."

He still had a lingering feel and didn't want to go out at night, but his roommates talked him into it.

His friends made fun of him, but this deep into the night, his words were much more convincing. In the end, they agreed to take another street.

It was a little wider, but there were few people on it. Somehow, it seemed to be very quiet.

Next to the street, there was a building site with a building under construction. He Zun was dissing the plot of the movie to distract himself and not reveal his fear when one of his roommates elbowed him. "Hey, look. Isn't there a woman upstairs?"

Shocked, He Zun jerked his head up.

There was nothing there.

Another roommate shoved the speaker. "d.a.m.n you, you scared me too. As if somebody would be on a construction site at night."

The culprit laughed and mocked, "Haha, I only wanted to scare Old He, I didn't expect to get you too."

He Zun opened his mouth to curse him. Abruptly, his expression changed because he felt a waft of cold wind, chilling him down to his bones—just like that night.

The other people also felt it, and their faces paled. "Why, why is it so cold suddenly?"

In fact, they already knew. Didn't He Zun say he was trapped by the ghost walls not far from here?

He Zun turned on the flashlight in his phone, but its light barely reached half a meter as though it was being swallowed up by the darkness. For a second, he felt he was watched again, and his face turned white.

"f.u.c.k, can you run?"

"My legs are soft!"

He Zun, who pulled his friends to make them run, was suddenly enveloped in a gust of cold wind!

He shuddered, but then his body seemed to become hot, and the darkness disappeared.

He could see the road beneath his feet, and the surroundings were no longer silent—the laughter of people returning home after an evening of fun came from the distance.

The situation changed so abruptly the other three people were still confused, wondering if they had to run to a temple.

He Zun stood still, not knowing what just happened. Then something occurred to him, he took a folded paper talisman out of his inner pocket and spread it out, only to find that the brilliant scarlet symbol turned pale as if faded from age.

"…f.u.c.king h.e.l.l."

Recently, the news in Chaoyang City always mentioned one thing—come midsummer, many parts of the province suffered a rare drought. It hadn't rained for a long time, Chaoyang Reservoir almost dried out and was unable to provide the usual amount of water. The city had no choice but to implement temporary breaks in water supply, rotating them between districts. As the drought was getting more severe, the city dwellers' lives were affected to a bigger or lesser degree.

Every time Xie Lingya went out, he could hear a lot of grumbling. He lived in a densely populated commercial district, next to the vegetable market and popular pedestrian street. Everyone was inconvenienced by the lack of water, and even people from neighboring districts were complaining.

Xie Lingya lived alone. Fortunately, he didn't need to store water. The old well in Baoyang didn't dry up, and its water was warm in winter and cool in summer. When he was a child, his uncle often used it to chill watermelons.

When he woke up in the morning, water had been cut off already. Unhurriedly, he went outside to draw water from the well for him to wash, then heard the sound of knocking on the door.

He went to take a look—it was the university student from a few days ago. Xie Lingya recalled his surname and opened the door, asking enthusiastically, "…Well, isn't it fellow student He? Morning. Are you here to play?"

He Zun's face was full of sweat. He put his palms together and bowed reverently. "Thank you, Teacher Xie."

He was now full of respect for Xie Lingya. However, he didn't know Taoist customs, so he could only pay tribute to him in such an awkward way.

Xie Lingya saw his miserable appearance. "Hmm? You didn't meet a ghost again, did you?"

He Zun: "……"

"Hahaha, come in, let's talk about it." Xie Lingya ushered him in and poured him a gla.s.s of water. It was boiled then refrigerated well water.

He Zun gulped it down, felt refreshed, and praised, "Wow, this water is delicious. It's cold and even a little sweet."

Then, he described his recent ghostly encounter, watching Xie Lingya in awe. He said that Teacher Xie was way too modest when he claimed he'd just started drawing!

Xie Lingya really wanted to make a detailed inquiry about the talisman's usefulness, but the reverence in He Zun's eyes made him too embarra.s.sed to ask. So, he sipped water with an expression saying such a thing was only natural.

He Zun added, looking pitiable, "I thought it would be okay if we took another road, but the result was this. Then, when we got back, I heard that some time ago, a worker fell to his death at that construction site! I don't dare to go anywhere near that place anymore!"

It turned out the construction site laid between the two streets He Zun had taken. No wonder.

"This is also your fault. You shouldn't talk about ghosts and spirits during the night—who is to blame if they hear?" Xie Lingya entered teacher's mode. He explained that during dark hours, when yin was heavy, it was best to speak and act cautiously.

In addition, it was highly probable He Zun's luck was really bad recently. A lot of people pa.s.sed by there every day, so why was he the only one affected?

He Zun shuddered. Rubbing the gooseflesh on his arms, he said, "Don't say it. My roommates stole the rest of the talismans, can I trouble you for more, Teacher Xie?"

Since Xie Lingya hadn't known his talismans really worked, he drew casually. After he checked, only one was good enough to be useful.

However, He Zun thought painting talismans was something really hard and didn't dare to ask for more. He thanked Xie Lingya profusely, then added, embarra.s.sed, "I hadn't got my allowance yet… Cough, but my roommates said they'll come to wors.h.i.+p venerable Spirit Official."

"That's great, I'll welcome them any time." Xie Lingya didn't mind. He even wanted to tell him that he'd give him commission for every person he pulled in but held back. This is a respectable Taoist temple, let's keep it this way.

He Zun, as was his newfound habit, lit incense, then excused himself, saying he needed to return to cla.s.s.

Before he left, Xie Lingya stopped him and pointed to the empty gla.s.s. "Oh, yeah, fellow student He, this water… Do you really think it's delicious?"

He Zun nodded fervently. "I do, it was much better than the mineral water I bought on the way. It's absolutely not my imagination!"

Sun Fuyang was the owner of a newspaper shop, the one next to the Baoyang's gates. He and his family lived nearby. Recently, the weather was uncomfortably hot, it didn't rain, and on top of that, the water supply was often cut off. To sum it up—the atmosphere in his home wasn't happy.

Sun Fuyang hadn't taken a bath for three days and reeked of sweat. He couldn't help it, it was impossible for the whole family to wash with the amount of water they got, and the children were given priority. The family had always drank boiled tap water, but now had no choice but to buy bottled water, which made the thrifty Sun Fuyang somewhat unhappy.

At that moment, the odd sound nearby attracted his attention. He looked around, to find that Baoyang Temple, which had been closed for several months, finally opened its gates. Then, the new owner came out, holding a rolled-up sheet of paper.

Sun Fuyang rented a shop here for several years and was aware of the situation. There used to be only one Taoist priest in Baoyang, w.a.n.g Daozhang.11Means senior Taoist priest. A few months ago, w.a.n.g Daozhang seemed to have fallen ill, but his spirits were as good as usual, so he didn't take it seriously. He never expected him to pa.s.s away just like that.

The temple was handed over to w.a.n.g Daozhang's nephew, Xie Lingya, precisely the young man who opened the gates a moment ago.

The two men had chatted already, so Sun Fuyang knew Xie Lingya was busy with his uncle's unfinished matters and took care of the temple's ch.o.r.es—some of which had acc.u.mulated for a long time. Because he was only one person, it was impossible to manage everything, that's why he never opened the temple to visitors.

It seems he's still busy, Sun Fuyang thought. He wondered what the young man's plans for the future were. Would he sell the temple, recruit priests, or become a priest himself? Well, he is young, good-looking, and graduated from college, so I guess…

At that moment, Xie Lingya unfurled the sheet of paper and pasted it next to the gate. On the red paper, there were several square-looking characters, painted with a brush: Free well water. When he was a child, he used to study calligraphy with w.a.n.g Yuji, but because he lacked the patience to sit still, only learned the basics. As such, his writing was extremely standard-looking.

Sun Fuyang thought for a moment and recalled Baoyang Temple seemed to have an old well. With how hot it was, and the shortage of water, it was very kind of Xiao Xie to let people fetch water from there. Who knows, maybe the temple will even get some incense money.

He himself would also like to bring a bucket of water home and take a bath. He didn't live far anyway.

As if Xie Lingya read Sun Fuyang's mind, he came over to greet him and explained he intended to let people draw water freely. Sun Fuyang also could if he wanted to.

The man, of course, agreed and called his family to let them bring some containers.

He had been here for so long, but while he knew about the well, he had never seen it. He even thought it was abandoned.

Sun Fuyang's wife took two clean fuel canisters and filled them with water. Sun Fuyang took a look—it was transparent and clean. It was also chilled; soon, a thin layer of water mist condensed on the walls of the canisters. It was enough to touch it to feel refreshed.

Mrs. Sun said, "It's cool here, especially near the well. I asked Xiao Xie, he said this water can be drunk after boiling. Oh, but these two canisters are for you to take a shower."

Sun Fuyang nodded with enthusiasm. Finally, he could wash.

On her way back, Mrs. Sun met a lot of neighbors. Everyone inevitably asked her where she got water. Mrs. Sun didn't hide anything, and even let them touch the canisters to prove water inside was still cool.

They heard that people in the suburbs went into the mountains to draw water from mountain springs, but they lived in the city center. Once they knew there was a clean well in nearby Baoyang Temple, they all livened up. In particular, the families with more members, which suffered from the shortage more, went to fetch water at once.

Sun Fuyang also generously shared the good news with the shop owners nearby, who weren't familiar with Xie Lingya. Even those that didn't live here wanted to get some water to their shops, to wash hands and flush the toilet. The well was close anyway.

It took less than half a day for the quiet, deserted Baoyang Temple to bustle with activity.

This was the advantage of a good location: once there was something to attract people, the place would instantly become popular.

There was a long line of large and small containers arranged in front of the well while their owners chatted nearby, waiting for their turn. If it was a shopkeeper from the neighboring shops, he let others pay attention to his place in line and call him when his turn approached. Everything proceeded in an orderly fas.h.i.+on.

Although there were no big trees in the courtyard, the shadow of buildings was large enough to keep everyone comfortably cool. Because the porch couldn't accommodate everyone, Xie Lingya also put out some stools to sit on.

"Troubled you, Xiao Xie." Someone from the neighborhood knew Xie Lingya and thanked him loudly.

Xie Lingya smiled and went to steep tea to for the waiting people, casually mentioning it was made with well water. This let everyone present have an even better impression of him and Baoyang Temple.

People sat or stood in the front yard, drinking tea if they liked, or cold boiled water if they didn't. In fact, most of them wanted to bring back water to bathe or wash vegetables and so on. However, once they drank it, they all made an unexpected discovery.

Oh, this water… seems to be very tasty?

Both the hot tea and pure water were delicious. Especially the latter—in this heat, a sip of cold, sweet water entering your stomach was rejuvenating.

They didn't know if it was an illusion, but it was as if their minds opened up, and all the sweltering and clammy feelings suddenly changed into clear, refres.h.i.+ng ones.

Many people lived in this neighborhood for a long time, but they had never stepped into Baoyang Temple. Until this moment, they didn't know it was different than it looked from outside. It was austere and cool, and was like a quiet shelter in the middle of the city noise and bustle.

Sitting here, drinking cold water, since a while ago the tiring heat tormenting them almost dispersed altogether.

Those who hadn't planned to drink the well water all changed their minds. It didn't taste worse than the bottled mineral water. No, it tasted even better!

"In these times, well water so clear is rare. When we were young and lived in the countryside, we drank directly from the well."

"Yes, but now I don't dare, I have to boil it."

Everyone chatted while they waited. In such a pleasant atmosphere, time pa.s.sed quickly.

Not every old lady liked the excitement of square dancing—for example, Sun Fuyang's mother.

After Baoyang Temple opened its gates, Elder Mrs. Sun took over the task of queuing. As water rationing continued, more and more people visited Baoyang to draw water, especially the vendors from the nearby vegetable market and the nearby residents who didn't get enough. Now, everyone had to queue for a long time.

Every evening, after early dinner, Elder Mrs. Sun strolled to Baoyang and put her bucket into the queue. Then, she talked with acquaintances while enjoying the cool, waiting until her turn came and the strong young men helped her draw water.

They were middle-aged or old and had nothing to do anyway. Usually, they took a walk at this time of day. Now, their routine changed to lining up and chatting in a Taoist temple. If they were thirsty, they could drink cold water provided by the temple free of charge. If they were idle, they bought some melon seeds to snack on.

—The temple started to sell melon seeds. Although there were convenience stores nearby, everyone usually chose to buy them here.

Barely a few days pa.s.sed, and Elder Mrs. Sun felt she'd developed a habit of taking a stroll to the Taoist temple, relaxing on a cool porch, chatting, and drinking water.

"Now, our family also boils and drinks this water. It's very good, much better than the ones bought."

"Haha, I was in such a hurry yesterday I forgot to boil it and drank it directly. It didn't taste bad, and I felt fine later!"

"It's still not good to drink raw water…"

Xie Lingya opened another large bag of melon seeds, portioned it, and put the portions on the tray. These days, instead of studying the predecessors' notes, he sat in the front yard, boiling water and selling snacks.

Although no one has gone in to burn incense yet, it was a good start. At least now, because people gathered to draw water, Baoyang's popularity was booming—it wasn't like before when pa.s.sers-by were unwilling to spare it a glance. After all, people have a herd mentality.

Xie Lingya burned to recruit a Taoist priest. Baoyang had no reputation at all, while people visited it, they weren't willing to burn incense, not to mention become a follower. Well, who could blame them? It didn't even have a proper priest, only a layman with a tender face recently graduated from college.

However, recruiting priests wasn't as easy as recruiting waiters. The problem of salary aside, a priest had to have the Taoist priest certificate to be allowed to preach in a legitimate temple.

When would Baoyang be able to afford a certified priest? Ah, forget it, he needed to sell a few more packets of melon seeds first…

When people who didn't know the truth saw this handsome young man selling melon seeds, they just thought he was a lay disciple, or someone employed by the temple to boost sales. Someone even talked to him: "This place is quite nice, pleasantly cool. I think many Taoist temples plant trees in the front yard to welcome visitors. You should tell your chief priest to plant two big trees there, the scenery will be even better."

Sorry, we temporarily don't have a chief priest…

Xie Lingya answered, "Uncle, there is a well in the front courtyard. According to the Theory of Five Elements, planting trees near wells is inviting bad luck, so we only have some bamboo here."

The man was stunned. "Young man, you…"

He wanted to say Xie Lingya was superst.i.tious but then remembered he was in a Taoist temple and fell silent.

Xie Lingya just smiled. Though he was merely a dabbler, he had seen an entry about this matter in his uncle's notes.

In feng shui, the location of a well was very important. If it was dug in the right place, it had a beneficial influence, and the water inside was "growth water." If it wasn't well-chosen, it invited misfortune, and its water would be "medicine water," or even "drowning water."

The well in Baoyang was in the shape of Eight Trigrams, which meant Metal was born from Water. What's more, it was placed in the direction of prosperity.

Allegedly, before digging it, the chief priest of Baoyang personally calculated the position and the exact hour it should be dug at, which showed how cautious he was about it. To sum it up, it was best to use feng shui to get a specific result.

And it was neither an illusion nor a coincidence people felt refreshed after drinking water from Baoyang's well. Firstly, the well's location was chosen carefully, and the water quality was excellent. Secondly, it was the effect of Xie Lingya going crazy reciting "No-Eating Spell" next to it.

The No-Eating Spell was recorded in "The Seven Bamboo Tablets of the Cloudy Satchel,"12Eleventh-century Taoist encyclopedia compiled for Emperor Zhenzong of Song by Zhang Junfang and quoting many Taoist cla.s.sics. Baoyang Temple had a handwritten version, very old and with numerous additional annotations. Xie Lingya consulted it from time to time when he wanted to verify information found in other books. This spell caught his eye when he was looking through it, and he wanted to give it a try. Who knew it really worked.

Actually, the No-Eating Spell was supposed to be recited before a meal. It stimulated digestion, made the flow of qi smoother, and helped blood circulation.

Lately, Xie Lingya put great effort into studying the records, focusing on spells and less complicated magical techniques. Then he decided that he couldn't gain wors.h.i.+ppers the same way he got He Zun—it was too slow. Besides, he wasn't a priest. In the final a.n.a.lysis, it was necessary to promote Baoyang first.

Translator's Notes: "Little Leaping Frog" - a Chinese children's song. You can listen to it here, and here you have the . Five Great Mountains House Blessing Talisman [五岳镇宅符] - draws on the energy of the Five Great Mountains of China to bless the house and ward off evil. It's rather powerful. Six Jia Talisman [六甲符] - it's probably a weaker version (or Xie Lingya was too lazy to write the whole name) of Divine Talisman of Six Jia, which is very powerful and very famous. It invokes power of the Generals of the Six Jia which protects the user from harm and exorcises demons, among other things. Mind you, this is an extremely simplified explanation. (Source: , pages 114 to 116) 327 yuan and 5 jiao - about 46 dollars. Daozhang [道长, dào zhǎng] - means senior Taoist priest. "The Seven Bamboo Tablets of the Cloudy Satchel" [Yunji Qiqian, 《云笈七签》] - eleventh-century Taoist encyclopedia. (Source 1, ) No-Eating Spell [未食咒] - explained in the chapter. I'm not completely satisfied with this name and I might change it.

Translator: Eques
Editor: Bet