The Ten Years When I Loved You So Chapter 11

 ch11

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Fortunately, the wound of the intestine wall was small, and it didn't take long for the blood to coagulate. After a while He Zhishu had regained enough strength to take a shower and clean himself. When he came out the shower Jiang Wenxu was deep asleep. His face was calm and He Zhishu remembered that the man he loved was beautiful. The sharp and deep facial lines, the straight nose and the thick eyebrows, Jiang Wenxu features were lit by a pallid yellow bedside lamp. With such a look, Jiang Wenxu is destined to be the kind of man who is charming after he is old, but it is difficult for him to see Jiang Wenxu's appearance many years later. He Zhishu lay on the bed and gently embraced Jiang Wenxu.

“If you won't treat me right, I will have to leave you.” he whispered. “After, when you are with someone else, you better treat them better. There aren't many people tolerant like me. Pick a good person, someone who will accompany you forever…” He Zhishu paused for a while. Tears began to flow and he burst out. “Fool! Don't you know that you are going to lose me?!”

Jiang Wenxu's sleep was deep but restless. He was having a dream, and it was very real. In the dream he was young again. He Zhishu was beside him. He saw a car approaching. When it arrived He Zhishu got on, smiled and said goodbye. Jiang Wenxu was fl.u.s.tered when the car left. He cried and chased after it, but the car was too fast. He Zhishu was sitting silent in the car, never looking back as the car went farther and farther till it was gone.

When people dream of loved ones and friends leaving, there is no holding back your tears. You are fragile in your dreams and bawl like a helpless child. Upon waking there is that feeling of loneliness and heartache, of guilt and regret. Sometimes these feelings last through out the day and there is no hiding from them.

Jiang Wenxu woke up drenched in cold sweat. He reached for He Zhishu and embraced him. He let go of everything in his mind and focused only on He Zhishu's presence beside him.

At half past six in the morning, He Zhishu awakened, his ling eyelashes trembled as he blinked. The bed was such a mess and he was very uncomfortable.

“Zhishu…” Jiang Wenxyu groaned beside him. “It's terrible. I dreamed that you were gone.”

He Zhishu was still dazed and spoke in a lazy tone. “Where would I have gone?”

“I don't know, but I won't let you leave.” Jiang Wenxu replied.

He Zhishu went back to sleep beside Jiang Wenxu, not clearly hearing what he said.

That day, Jiang Wenxu was unusually nice. He muted his phone and ignored the boy toy. At seven in the morning, he saw that He Zhishu wasn't up yet, so he quietly prepared breakfast. When He Zhishu emerged from the bedroom he groaned and chuckled.

“When did you know how to cook?” he asked.

Jiang Wenxu was sometimes gentle with him, sometimes he was hard, but still knows what guilt is and listens to his conscience. He Zhishu had grown to accept this. He understood that Jiang Wenxu struggled to maintain a surface persona of prosperity, just like him.

“Last year you had a fever…” said Jiang Wenxu. “You were too weak and didn't want to eat anything, so I made you pot of millet porridge.”

He Zhishu didn't really want to discuss the topic. He went to his study room and got his medicine. When he came back he sat beside the table and Jiang Wenxu served him a bowl of porridge and two dishes of pickles.

“Did I hurt you last night?” Jiang Wenxu asked.

He Zhishu shrugged and shook his head, not wanting to recall the events last night. He ate only half of the porridge. He wanted to eat more of what Jiang Wenxu made for him but swallowing was difficult for him. He had already taken a lot of medicine and could no longer eat more.

“No wonder… You eat the same amount of food as a kitten.” said Jiang Wenxu with a frown. “No wonder you are so thin. If you lose more weight, it will hurt your hands when I hold you.”

He Zhishu smiled at him. “I'm eating less because I'm waiting for you to make me a big meal for lunch.”

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