My Second Life Is An Absurdist Power Fantasy 19 19.

Rose served as his sparring partner for his martial combat skills, and insisted they use their actual weapons, rather than training weapons or other practice implements, in order to maximize the effectiveness of their training. When Jack expressed concern about them cutting each other to pieces in the midst of practice, Rose beckoned Eleanor over, and the blue skinned Tiefling took each of their weapons, smeared the blades with mola.s.ses, and said a few words under her breath. There was a brief flash of golden energy, and she handed each of them back.

Jack looked at the edge of his axe, and nothing appeared different about it.

"Put your hand out and touch the edge." Eleanor said.

Jack did as instructed, and reached out for the axe's blade. Towards the end, where Eleanor had spread the syrup, there was now a soft, invisible barrier that prevented him from touching the sharp part of the edge. It felt kind of like a firm, invisible jelly pillow.

"Oh, cool!" He said.

"It'll keep you from killing each other, but it won't stop you two from bruising each other, breaking bones, or knocking each other unconscious, so still try to be careful." Eleanor said.

"Thanks, Ellie." Rose said. She walked a dozen or so paces down the front yard of the farm house, and turned to face Jack, grabbing her sword with both hands in a ready position. "Ready, Jack?"

"No. No I am not," Jack thought to himself, but instead said out loud as he raised his axe, "Yeah, I'm ready."

Before he even had a chance to react, Rose's blade slammed against his chest with such force it it knocked the wind out of him and sent him flying a.s.s backwards half a dozen feet, where he landed flat on his back gasping for air. Rose walked over to him, and looked down at him with a look of confusion and amus.e.m.e.nt.

"I thought you said you were ready." She said as she offered him a hand and helped him to his feet.

"I thought... I... was..." Jack managed out between fits of hacking and coughing.

About this time, Frumpkin's voice popped into Jack's head.

["Ouch! That one hurt MY pride!"] He said.

"What do you want, Frumpkin?" Jack asked, making no effort to hide his frustration as tried to regain his breath and his bearings.

["Wow, touch-y! I was just popping in to let you know how to tap into your wished-for combat training, but if you don't want that help, I'll just see myself out.."] Frumpkin said.

"No no! I want to know that! How do I do it?" Jack asked, adopting a placating tone.

["Simple. You just believe you are good, and let your instinct do the work for you. Don't think about it."]

Jack, careful not to just stare off into s.p.a.ce as he spoke with Frumpkin, set about limbering back up, and swinging his axe back and forth several times to get re-acclimated with its weight and heft.

"So, you're telling me that if I just think I'm good, I'm good? How does that make any sense?" Jack asked.

["Hey kid, them's the rules. I'm not the one who made them."] Frumpkin said.

"Yes you did! You're literally G.o.d!" Jack protested.

["La la la la! I can't hear you! Now, get out there and give it a try. I promise not to laugh too hard if you get it wrong."] Frumkpin replied.

"Gee thanks." Jack thought, a.s.suming a combat stance. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and tried to focus on what Frumpkin told him. He just had to believe he was good. He just had to believe it. How hard could that be?

"Okay Rose, let's try this again." He said, nodding to her.