I Shall Rule The Heavens 29 Ch. 29 - The Calm Before The Storm!

"It was nothing. Really."

He smiled foolishly at both Tian Mei and Tian Xin.

"Your parents would be proud of you little bro!"

"… Tian Mei is the only parent I have right now, and I'm perfectly happy with that."

"I know how you feel about it, but you--"

"You don't know anything!"

"I-I…"

"Sorry, I just…"

"It's fine dear. Your sister went too far this time."

"It's not her fault. I just lost it for a moment."

"Em… Little brother?"

"Hm?"

"C-can I… uhm… Can I ask you something?"

"Ask away."

"When you… you know…"

"Yes. Go on."

"After you realized it, you seemed scared. Every time you get mad, you 'recover' almost right away, and then you have that scared expression. I just… I'm just wondering what you're so scared of, but I totally get it if you don't want to answer… I just wanted to ask…"

"…I'm scared of myself… or rather what I can do."

"Why?"

"Every time I lose my temper, I… hurt people--"

"Hurt people?"

"… more specifically… I kill them on spot and absorb their spirit essence in the process. Then I  pa.s.s out."

"What happens after you wake up?"

"I usually sit pa.s.sively on the ground while crying and blaming myself."

"Why are you blaming yourself?"

"Because their deaths were all caused by me. Wouldn't you also blame yourself if you killed people whenever they p.i.s.sed you of? Wouldn't you feel that death is too harsh? Wouldn't you regret it?"

"I… I don't know."

"I hate myself every single time. And also… I've been suspecting that I…"

He suddenly fell to the ground and began to cry bitterly.

"What are you suspecting? Is it something bad?"

"… Yes, very."

"What is it?"

"My mother… she…"

"What about her?"

"I think I… I think I'm the one who killed her."

"Why would you think that?!                "

Tian Mei suddenly joined in the conversation. 'How can he think it's his fault?', she thought to herself.

"The mercenaries never killed her… I went mad before I saw her die. I must've killed her along with them!"

Xiao Huoyan continued to cry.

Tian Mei just fell to the ground beside him and gave him a warm hug.

"What's done, is done. You can't change the past, but you can decide your future. Just try to control your temper, as to not hurt mo--"

"--I didn't hurt them… I killed them! I killed them all! Who cares about whether it was on purpose?! Who cares whether they deserved it or not?! It's not like I can bring them back! What use are my powers if I can only destroy people, instead of helping?!

Some people does not deserve help, but in every evil person, lies a good side. Nothing is entirely good nor evil. Besides, I believe that everyone has the ability to change! But I rid them of their chance to change for the better. I killed them mercilessly.

Even though it wasn't on purpose, I'm still the one who did it."

Xiao Huoyan kept crying. He was indeed more mature than most adults, but he was still just a child.

Neither Tian Mei nor Tian Xin felt it to be laughable watching him cry his eyes out. They only felt sorry for him. He was just a child with a father whom he couldn't even remember and a mother who died… A mother whom he thought he killed.

The few people he had ever met all said that he was an extraordinary child, but little did they know the sorrow his powers had brought him.

He often imagined how it would be if he had been born as a normal child, with normal parents, living a normal and happy life. He often wished for his imaginations to become reality, yet he knew that he couldn't change anything.

He knew he couldn't change his past. He knew he couldn't bring them back to life.

The feeling of wanting something yet knowing that you'll never be able to get it, really makes you understand the true feeling of despair.

Even though the people he had killed were all bad people, except his mother, he still didn't want them to die.

"… Mother is right. You shouldn't blame yourself. Even though you killed them, you weren't yourself."

"You don't understand the feeling of having your body moving on its own.

Every time it happens, I can still see everything. What scares me the most is the fact that I don't really hate it when I kill people. Not until I wake up and realize what I've done. Sometimes I even like it. The feeling of being above everyone else. The feeling of being capable of killing anyone who opposes you… it's more tempting than you'd dare to imagine.

Sometimes I just feel like killing myself to relieve me of all of this, but then I remind myself of the fact that someone gave his life to protect mine. Maybe it wouldn't have been necessary for him to sacrifice himself for me, but he still did. He didn't want to take any risk. He wanted to make sure that I'd be safe.

I won't throw away this life of mine. If I did, then his sacrifice would've been for nothing."

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"This person that you're talking about… Is it… you know--?"

"Yes… It's him."

"I think he knew that you'd be able to protect yourself. He probably also knew about your feelings. Maybe he just wanted to make sure you had a reason to live on. Maybe he knew that you'd… you know…", Tian Mei said while consoling him.

"Maybe you're right…"

Xiao Huoyan closed his eyes, while thinking about this familiar feeling.

"It's been so long…", Xiao Huoyan said while smiling bitterly.

He felt a single tear making its way down his left cheek.

"Hm?"

Tian Mei was confused.

"I haven't felt this motherly warmth since my mother…"

"…"

Tian Mei didn't answer. She just hugged him tighter while closing her eyes.

"Hey! What about me, eh?"

"Hahah, come here!", Tian Mei said while making room for her daughter. Then they just sat there hugging each other.

It was such a nice family moment, but sadly; Happiness rarely last. The happiest moments are always short.

This peacefulness was like the calm before the storm!