I Dont Kill Monsters 1 Dont Drink Alcohol

"My head hurts."

i cant believe my bad luck. last week i sold everything that i own to invest in the newest virtual reality game called '26 worlds'. i even borrowed money from everyone that i know. all in order to equip my game character with lots of potions.

do you know why i did all that? i thought i can make big money in the game.

I was a beta tester for the game. i played for 3 months and got paid a decent amount for every bug i reported and for everyday my character stayed alive in the game. at first i planned to accept the offer to be a hidden gm whose job is to secretly a.s.sist vip players. but then i heard a rumor that beta testers gain up to 100 million after becoming pro-gamers. its not because of skill though. its because they took advantage of a few bugs that they didnt report.

sword saint natalie failed to report that when a player enters the capsule with an injury it wont let you leave until you are healed. this little bug allowed her to play 18 hours a day while others can only play for 6 hours. this gave her tremendous advantage over everyone.

a few other stories convinced me to invest in the game. like natalie and the others i didnt report all the bugs that i found. i kept one bug for myself.

Most npc give out more than one quest. the blacksmith in the newbie village gives ten quests to newbies. i took one ore gathering quest and killed the blacksmith while he is giving me the reward for collecting 10 iron ores. instead of just getting an iron sword i obtained an iron sword, 10 gold coins, a ring that adds one stat on strength, and a few other items. they are all rewards for completing all the quests that the blacksmith gives.

i bought many potions at sky high prices because i need all the buffs to safely reach all the hidden npcs. i planned to kill all the hidden npc and obtain all the rewards from the one-time quests. with this bug i can get the rewards from the hardest quest with a simple move.

"you have attacked a hidden merchant. price of goods will increase by 1% for the next month."

"you have attacked a hidden merchant. price of goods will increase by 1% for the next month."

"you have attacked a hidden merchant..."

imagine my shock when i am unable to kill or even hurt any npc as long as i have accepted a quest from them. my life is ruined. ive no possessions except the gaming capsule and all the iou's.

i spent 3 in-game days looking for hidden npc looking forward to selling legendary items for a few million dollars. instead of gaining anything, i have lost everything.

the minute i left the capsule i went straight to the liquor store. thats how i plan to spend my remaining days.

one day while drunk i wrote an email to alex q. mcgregore, the owner of 26 worlds virtual game. i wrote a few curse words and "copy paste" it over and over and over.

...

"sir you received an email from another beta tester." a tall and s.e.xy secretary said while handing out a print-out.

alex read the email and laughed. "this is why i read all the emails from the beta testers. now i have a target."

....

when i logged in i was greeted by three system notifications that changed my life.

"due to not reporting a bug and still receiving payment your avatar will receive a penalty. everytime you kill a monster you will lose a level. penalty will last for 5 years game time."

"due to your contributions as a beta tester, the company has decided to give you a salary for playing the game."

"new quest: find five bugs and report it.

reward: removal of penalty and 1 million dollars."

now i regret drinking and sending tthat email.