The Legend Of Black Eyes 184 Wanda, The Merciless - Part 3

I was drifting in and out of consciousness then. My body ached all over. The fact that the end I expected never came made the pain all the worse. I could barely open my eye. Beatrix grunted and chased after Wanda, who seemed to have woken up. The ball of light she had created vanished.

Nag lay on the ground, lifeless. I tried to crawl near him but my body protested. Wanda beat the s.h.i.+t out of me and left me on the ground to die, slowly and painfully. My eye involuntarily closed. My feet felt cold. Sleep had just become the most alluring concept I could think of then. I knew that if I closed my eye, I'd never get to open it again.

At that moment, while two family members duked it out in the darkness, I started laughing. I lay on my back and roared. Beatrix, the lady of the dark who had refused to fight with us had just decided to come to our rescue.

'A little too late though,' I thought as I lay on the ground.

Tears streamed down my right cheek, not from sadness, but from excessive laughter. I laughed at the irony of it all. Hilda had seen my death at the hand of the Church of Dhobor, but she didn't expect this untimely end. I guess fortune tellers aren't to be believed after all.

'Are you going to lie here and laugh forever?' Eva's distant voice echoed inside my mind.

'What do you expect me to do?' I asked. 'I can't even roll to the side, let alone stand and fight.'

'You've merged with the Fragment, haven't you?' she asked. 'It's not as hostile as it used to be now.'

'Your highness,' I said, struggling to form my thoughts. 'It's the end. Let's just deal with it in our own ways.'

'I didn't take you for a quitter, Myles Stalwart,' she said.

'Don't call me that!' I snapped at her. 'Myles is no more. Zedd will follow soon. Just let me die in peace and quiet, please.'

'Check your Fragment, jacka.s.s,' Eva said.

'You may want to find a way to survive this,' I said. 'I don't even understand your obsession with survival, but I've fought to the very end. This is the end Eva, accept it.'

'When I approached you in the Crucible,' she said, her voice rising. 'You were but a depressed young man who had given up on life. You even let an old man use you as his s.e.x doll, but when I offered you a way out, you jumped at the opportunity. You have power inside you now. You're capable of achieving more than those two out there. Why don't you dig deeper, explore what the gift of power really has to offer you?'

'Bringing the past won't convince these tired bones to move,' I said. 'I can feel death creeping up on me. It's over Eva, why won't you accept it? It's not like you can do anything to get your revenge on the Church now.'

'This is not about me, you idiot!' she said. 'You're throwing your life away while you can still fight. Get up Myles! Show them what a Stalwart's capable of!'

'You're confusing me with my grandfather,' I said. 'I'm nothing like him. Inside, I'm but a little boy who made a grave mistake.'

When you're at death's door, you can't help but reflect on your past mistakes. The first one I ever made was killing someone. I didn't even mean to do it. I was angry. I got carried away and smashed his head against a wall. For that, I got a lifetime sentence in prison. My drunken father never cared about that. My mother fell sick again, and my sisters were left to fend for themselves.

I could never forgive myself for all this. I couldn't get over it either. Even until today, I thought that death was the only thing I deserved. After Utar hunted me down for stealing a Listener from the Church, I thought I had finally found my way to redemption. I was ready to die, ready to give myself up to the darkness, but my desire to live outweighed my guilt.

I hid behind my men and decided to fight, only to see them annihilated. I did it again now. Nag's death was on me, so was Zoey's, and Agatha, and my family, and Kiera… The list goes on.

That thought alone made me want to die. I didn't deserve to live. Whoever I involved eventually met a gnarly end. Myles Stalwart, the unlucky kid who brings calamity to whomever he met had to die tonight.

'Don't disappear in nostalgia land,' Eva's voice shook me awake.

I was surprised I hadn't died yet. I was ready to embrace it this time.

'Why don't you shut up?!' I mentally screamed at her. 'Just let me get my thoughts in check and die already!'

'I'm not the one stopping you!' she retorted. 'That Fragment inside of you's trying to tell you something. Can't you hear it?'

'Maybe I don't,' I said. 'Maybe I'm just ignoring it. Maybe I don't feel like fighting anymore.'

'Maybe you're frightened,' Eva said. 'Maybe you think you're not cut out for this.'

'What if I do?' I asked. 'It's not like it's any of your business.'

'You're a coward, Stalwart,' Eva said. 'You've always liked the easy options. If you were sure of your victory, you would pump your chest and boast of your strength. Now that you've had your a.s.s handed to you, you're just lying here, waiting for someone else to save you.'

'I'm not,' I said. 'I'm waiting for death to take me.'

'Death isn't coming. Open your eye, you coward. Beatrix won't last without your help.'

'None of us would,' I said. 'Wanda's too strong. I should've looked for the ghost captain in secret.'

'Then you should've stayed with Jory, let him f.u.c.k you to death,' Eva's voice was getting clearer in my mind by the second. She sounded angry, and desperate.

'Don't you dare bring him into this,' I said. 'You don't know what I've been through.'

'We've bonded more than anyone you've ever encountered in your life Stalwart,' Eva said. 'I'm closer to you now more than your dear Kiera could ever hope to get.'

'Shut it,' I snapped at her.

'There's only one way to shut me up,' Eva said. 'Listen to what the other Fragment has to say.'

'I'm tired of ghosts telling me what to do,' I said. 'Let me die in peace, please.'

'Myles…' Eva said but I interrupted her.

'I'm begging you Eva, let me fade into nothingness. Someone else will take my place in the Wars. I'm not cut out for this.'

'f.u.c.k it, Stalwart,' Eva cried out. 'At least I tried. If you survive this, don't count on my help ever again.'

'I never counted on it,' I said. 'The reason you've been acting as my voice of reason is because I accidentally stole you from your original self. You're but a copy struggling to exist.'

'You're an a.s.shole, Stalwart. I only wanted to help,' she said. I just hurt a ghost's feelings. That was a first, even for me.

'MYLES STALWART!' a metallic voice boomed inside my head. 'YOU HAVE A CONTRACT YOU NEED TO FULFILL!'

'Dif?!' I said. 'You're joining the team too?'

'Don't give me that cynical c.r.a.p!' Dif said. 'Wanda isn't as tough as you give her credit for. She's used her essence for far too long. Get up and fight.'

'In case you haven't noticed old man,' I said. 'I'm in no condition to fight.'

'Your fragment doesn't just give you the power to stop time,' Dif said. 'Understand it. Communicate with it. It won't let you die unless you've really given it your all.'

'Why don't you just take it and fight in my stead?' I said. 'You people are good at preaching, but I don't see you making any effort.'

'You're the chosen champion,' Dif said. 'Are you really going to throw this opportunity away? Lord Minsec didn't choose you for your cowardly nature.'

Rage started building up inside me then. Why do they all have to call me a coward? I've given it my all. I fought against a horde of well trained men. I've even given it my all against a woman whose powers I couldn't even begin to fathom.

'I didn't ask for this,' I screamed at them. 'I was content with my situation back in Raiya's tree house. Your lord had to go and offer me this cursed Fragment. What do you expect me to do with it, save the world? Give me a break! This world is rotten. It deserves what's coming to it.'

'You're a real piece of work,' Dif said. 'Fine, lay there and let the Fragment consume your body, slowly and painfully. Rot in this G.o.dforsaken field, in the dark, with n.o.body to mourn for you. Let your grandfather destroy this world we all fight to preserve. Let the death of your family go unavenged. Meet your mother in the afterlife. Tell her how you've been nothing but a disappointment.'

'Shut up!' I screamed. 'Don't try to use the same mind games I used on Beatrix.'

'Why?' Dif asked. 'It's not like you care about them anyway. Beatrix has finally decided to fight, but what are you doing? You're just lying there, waiting for a painful and slow death.'

My body started shaking violently then. It felt like I was struck by lightning, and the bolt took its jolly time travelling through my veins, charring my flesh as it did.

'Listen to the Fragment Stalwart,' Dif and Eva said at the same time. 'Embrace your powers. Understand them. Survive, show all those who've looked down on you what you're really capable of.'