Imperial Uncle Chapter 5

Translator: · Beta:
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In the half-light of evening I step out of the imperial garden’s eastern gate. Before I can take two steps, I catch the sound of someone from behind me calling out over and over, “Uncle Jun, uncle Jun …”

I stop and turn to find one of my nephews, Prince Dai — Qitan — taking quick steps in my direction. He’s all smiles as he comes to a stop before me. “Uncle Jun, How wonderful it is to have run into you at the palace. I’m in the middle of a dire emergency and could really use your help.”

On any other day I’d be sure to make it difficult for Qitan, have him call me uncle a few more times before asking him what he wants, but I’m really not in the mood today. So I ask him without fanfare, “What do you need money for this time?”

Face splitting into a wide grin, Qitan rubs his hands together. “Uncle Jun, you’ve always spoiled me so. You didn’t even wait for me to ask and already know what I want.” He moves closer, motions a distance between two fingers. “Six thousand taels1.”

I sigh. “Qitan, you may as well just get a torch right now and go burn down my estate.”

This kid Prince Dai has become obsessed with antiques and old paintings of late. He’s collected countless pieces, lost ten thousand strings of Cash2. Yet when it comes to relics he’s actually an amateur; only an amateur would have such zeal and courage — the daring to buy and the daring to burn money.

Once he burned through the spending money he had on hand, he started relying on his uncle — me, taking advantage of the fact that I’ve doted on him since he was a child, shamelessly coming to me again and again to borrow, borrowing more and more each time — not that I ever counted on his paying me back.

Prince Dai says, rubbing his hands, “Uncle Jun, it’s really only six thousand taels. Just the six thousand taels — do you know what it is I managed to find today? A wine cup that was used by King Wen of Zhou! The seller’s asking price is only eight thousand taels of silver. There’s quite a many people fighting over it. If I wait any longer, someone may buy it before I get the chance.”

“Last I heard you’d just managed to nab an ear pick supposedly once used by King Zhou of Shang. That appears to be a fake. From what I can tell, you’ve no luck with the Shang and Zhou dynasties. You may as well forget about this one.”

I turn around, continuing on my path. Qitan keeps pace behind me. “Uncle Jun, uncle, wonderful uncle, uncle Jun, it’s different this time. Having been taken advantage of once, how could I have not learned my lesson? It really is the genuine article this time around! And besides, older brother’s birthday is coming up in a few days. I wanted to present this item to him as a birthday gift. Uncle Jun, just think of it as helping your nephew reach this goal! How about I put your name on the gift list and make this wine cup a gift from the two of us, so you’d have a share of it too. Will that do?”

You don’t say. The thing costs eight thousand taels, I as your uncle put in six thousand, so when you write a gift list shouldn’t you really be writing your name far, far behind mine?

I say to Qitan in all earnestness, “If you can fix this problem of yours and stop collecting random relics, his majesty will find it immeasurably comforting. He’d be happier than if he’d received ten giant cauldrons King Wen of Zhou used to offer sacrifices to the heavens with.”

And yet, obstinately, Qitan remains impenitent; my words go in one ear and out the other. He takes hold of my sleeve. “Uncle Jun, think of it as my begging you then. How about five thousand taels? Can you lend me five thousand taels?”

I heave another sigh. “Why don’t I just turn around now, make a formal request to his majesty, and ask him to convert an area of Hunan prefecture into your fief. Allegedly there are many ruins and tombs left behind from the Zhou and Shang dynasties in that region. I can get you an additional twenty able-bodied men and a carriage full of hoes and iron shovels. You can spend your days keeping watch over the excavation. You’re sure to dig up something precious. It’d definitely eclipse what you’re doing now.”

Qitan ignores everything except for his grip on my sleeve. He grins, showing all his teeth. “Uncle Jun, four thousand taels. How about four thousand taels?”

Only just this morning I was made a cuckold, and now in the afternoon I’m treated like an easy mark3. When it comes to current circ.u.mstances, I’m feeling rather despondent. As though his mouth has been smeared with honey, Qitan says sweetly, “I know you’ll definitely lend it to me, uncle Jun. Out of everyone, I know you’ve always been the one who loves me most.”

I sigh again and again; I don’t know how to handle him at all. The reason why Qitan dares to act like this probably does have something to do with the way I’ve been indulging him since he was a child.

Come to think of it, whether they’re the former emperor’s sons or the sons of my older cousin princes, including Qizhe, such as Qitan, Qifei, and Qili — all young imperials around the same age — I played with them all when they were young children.

Among them, the former emperor’s sons Qitan and Qifei, and the princes’ sons Qili, Qizheng, and Qiqian loved spending time at my estate the most. Qitan is bright, bold, and charming. There was only a mother in blood differences between him and the young emperor, but it was like they weren’t brothers at all. Qizhe was tight-lipped as a child, quiet, and kept all his uneasiness on the inside; whether he wanted something, or didn’t want something, he never said anything about it. When Qitan wanted something or didn’t want something, he made sure you knew, and whatever he wanted, he had to have. Due to this strong suit of his, he was able to spirit many good things away from my estate. It’s also due to this reason that it seems I’ve always loved Qitan most.

It was alleged that the empress once thought I would change my mind to support Qitan instead, and threaten Qizhe’s place on the throne. Later, when I learned about this, I found it a bit absurd.

Putting aside the fact that I don’t have the power to go around choosing or ousting the heir-apparent, even if we go by Qitan’s character alone, it’d be best if he never gets to be emperor. If he was the one sitting on the throne right now, in all likelihood our treasury would already be empty and the fall of the empire wouldn’t be far off.

Qitan grips my sleeve, and looks at me as cheerfully as before. I suppose that if I don’t agree to give him the money, I’ll have no hope of getting my cuff back.

For lack of better options I prepare to nod. When I think of the large sum about to be crossed off the estate’s register, I feel a faint stab of pain in my chest.

Right at that moment, in the periphery of my vision, I spy an ink-blue figure as it turns the corner along the path.

Suddenly my heart feels elated for no apparent reason.

Maybe heaven feels sorry for me, so it’s granting me this unexpected and unmerited chance.

Pretending that my attention hasn’t been diverted at all, I say to Qitan, “Fine. But I’m really not feeling rea.s.sured as to whether that wine cup is authentic or not. If it’s not, then wouldn’t giving you the silver be the same as condoning your behaviour? I feel I had better go with you, and put off my decision until after I have verified that it is indeed genuine.”

“But Uncle Jun, you don’t seem to be any more of an expert than me when it comes to relics. I’m guessing if it looks genuine to me, it’s sure to look genuine to you too. Why make you go out of your way?”

I shake my head. “Out of the question. If we don’t have it appraised I’d keep feeling uneasy about it.” I allow my speech to slow, dragging out my intonation so my sentence ends as that ink-blue figure nears us just so. I look up, and acting as though I’ve only now noticed him, I say, “What a coincidence, we were just talking about how authentication may prove difficult, and here comes an expert.”

With a smile, Liu Tongyi formally greets Qitan and I. “I seem to have interrupted the spirit of your highnesses’ conversation.”

At long last, Qitan releases my sleeve, and returns the greeting with a nod. “Chancellor Liu, are you on your way home?”

Liu Tongyi says, courteous, “That is so,” and he starts walking away.

I gather up my courage. “Chancellor Liu, please wait.”

Liu Tongyi halts his steps, and a note of disbelief arises in his expression. Qitan turns to face me, utterly flabbergasted.

Within the imperial court, Liu Tongyi’s path and mine seldom cross; whenever we meet face to face, at most we’ll exchange a few pleasantries. Everyone knows that there is neither friends.h.i.+p nor personal grudges between us, but according to our reputation I am a treacherous prince and he is a wise chancellor, we are as dissimilar as black and white on a game board. From the perspective of onlookers it would be reasonable to presume us diametrically opposed.

So when I call out for Liu Tongyi, stopping him, he’s not the only one to show disbelief. Even my nephew, Prince Dai, spends a moment looking flabbergasted.

I put on an appearance of effortless ease. “I may have some business that could use your help, Chancellor Liu.” Qitan is staring at me with shocked amazement written all over his face; I smile at him. “Chancellor Liu is renowned as one of the top scholars of the imperial court, and I’ve been told he is a master in the identification of relics and calligraphy — wouldn’t you say he’s just the heaven-sent expert we needed?”

Qitan’s expression is exceedingly complicated. “Uncle Jun, you …”

I cup my hands in entreaty at Liu Tongyi. “Chancellor Liu, my nephew is about to spend a great deal of money on the purchase of a wine cup. He says it was used by King Wen of Zhou; I’m worried that he ends up buying a fake. If you’re free right now, I wonder if it’s possible to invite you along so you can keep an eye out for Prince Dai and I. At the very least you’d be able to keep us from squandering thousands of taels of silver on a counterfeit article and giving everyone a good laugh.”

I look squarely at Liu Tongyi. All these years at court, I can count the number of times where I had a chance to see him eye to eye on one hand; so as I stand in this spring breeze, my heart is all aflutter.

Liu Tongyi has always been cautious and self-disciplined; he probably won’t want to be tainted by my foul miasma. In all likelihood he’ll find some excuse to put me off.

Twilit, his features resemble an ink wash painting; quiet colours, diffused, refined. It seems my heart will quiet and diffuse along the same vein — Princess Huai, familial rift, being made a cuckold, all these things have left me for the time being, having flown off far above the topmost layer of the heavens.

A trace of a smile emerges on his face, and he says to me, “Thank you for your invitation, your highness. Naturally, I will not refuse. I am at your service.”

In that instant, blossoming flowers fill the spring breeze, and my heart flutters all the more.

He’s talking about taels of silver. ↩︎

Strings of Cash. Without getting into the details, they’re copper coins on strings, and 1,000 coppers make one string. ↩︎

A cuckold is a ‘turtle’ in Chinese, and an easy mark a 'fat sheep’. Poor Chengjun doesn’t feel very human at the moment. ↩︎