Strange Love 114 All I Ever Wanted

"Shh…" Russ rocked her in his arms. His own tears burned his eyes. "You can't blame yourself. You did all you could." He stroked his hands down her back as he held her head tightly against his chest. "You risked your life to save Sh.e.l.ly and I then and you risked it again two days ago to save her again. You're no monster, Jos."

She pressed against his chest and peered up at him. "Russ there's something else you need to know. Your uncle, he wanted you to stay. He fought against me and the council on sending you away... but he had no intent on raising you or allowing me to remain part of your life. He blamed me and rightfully so. I was the one who left the gates open that day. I made it easy enough for the vampires to walk right up to the palace doors and murder everyone inside."

Russ wiped her tears away with the pads of his thumbs. "It wasn't your fault, Jos." He pulled her back against his chest tightly and kissed the top of her head. "You must understand, I'd rather be with you than ever see any of them again. Leave it all to my uncle for all I care. We can leave together now, tonight even, and start our own life somewhere." He laughed lightly, "Of course it will have to be by the sea, obviously." He teased her. He held her head back so that their eyes could meet. "Without my parents there, I have nothing to go back to." He smoothed a hand over her hair. "You are and will always be my everything."

Jos pulled away. "You don't mean that, Russ. It's the beast you want, the best that pulls you in."

Russ frowned and shook his head. "I promise you, it's not like that."

Jos shook her head. "You don't know that. The whole point of the curse is to draw in inspecting men. You're not supposed to feel it or know it's happening." Her eyes traveled down his naked body. "Shouldn't this be proof enough?"

Russ tented his brows, "What? The only thing I see here is two adults showing their love for each other."

Jos huffed out a breath of irritation. "I helped raise you, I'm more than 2000 years old, Russ. h.e.l.l, I can't ever remember how old I am exactly..."

Russ captured her face between his hands. "It doesn't matter. I've never looked at you as some antique, parental figure. In all my childhood memories for as far back as I can recall, we were no more than seven to ten years apart. I'll admit I never knew exactly how hold you were, and in the back of my mind I always knew you were different but it didn't matter." He stared deep into her eyes. "You were always the one I ran to, always the one I wanted in my arms. Would you like me to give you a recap? Tell you exactly how it was for me? Tell you exactly how in love I've been with you and for exactly how long?" He kissed her lips. "I don't look back at my childhood and see some older auntie, I see that same ten year old girl... Jos, I didn't realize you wasn't a child like me until that day you had to s.h.i.+ft forms and go down to the school as your own parent."

Jos laughed, "That was an... interesting meeting!" She m.u.f.fled a yawn against the back of her hand then cuddled tighter against Russ's side. "That form almost kept me form staying with you guys had Raven not stepped in," Her eyes held his, "I don't know what I would have done. You're mother and father was the first true friends I'd ever had. Up until them I'd been forced on all the others... the sirens who raised me, Orion and Arei, even Raven... I guess that's why you and Sh.e.l.ly have always meant so much to me. It's the reason why I can't lose you guys." She caressed his jawline. "Russ I can't lose her again either."

A corner of Russ's full lips lifted into a half smile. "Answer me this, Arei said earlier tonight that you had chosen me, that you had told him you wanted me. Had all this s.h.i.+t with the vampires not happened, would you have came back to me?"

"Yes." Her answer was straight forward without hesitation.

The tension in his expression eased fractionally, "Would you have agreed to marry me?"

She frowned, "I don't know, Russ. It's not that simple. You don't understand what it means to be leader of one of the few wolf clans still in power. They will expect... certain things... from you."

He cupped her face. "And as I've said, I'd gladly give it all up for you. I'm sure by now my uncle has provided enough heirs to replace me."

Frustration contorted her features, "That may be true. He may have thirty sons, but the odds of one of them being an alpha is slim to none. He was born a beta and will most likely only father betas. Your father was an alpha and so are you, his only son..."

Russ nodded. "I see..." He pulled her head back against his chest. "If there wasn't these stupid rules and whatever the h.e.l.l they are, would you have agreed then?"

Jos thought if over for a brief second. It didn't take much time to come to that answer. "Yes."

He let out a long breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Jos, you have to know, while you were gone Orion and I spent a week with Sh.e.l.ly and Rin. She apologized for the s.h.i.+t show she threw and gave us her blessing. She said half the things she said and did wasn't even her doings. It was part of the mind control."

Jos's head popped up, "With, with Rin?" Jos asked hopefully.

Russ's expression darkened. "Yes, they were very happy as well though only for a short while. They even got married." He smiled down at her but there was pain behind his beautiful blue eyes.

"Married?!" She covered her mouth but the smile still s.h.i.+ned in her wide eyes. "Why, how? What happened?"

Russ let out a long sigh. "Rin's father is an oracle as you know. His father saw Sh.e.l.ly give birth to her and Rin's child, but it wasn't clear whether Rin would live to see the child born. Rin decided he wanted their child to have his name, he wouldn't leave Sh.e.l.ly his b.a.s.t.a.r.d to raise alone."

Her hand shook as she cupped her mouth as she sucked in a gasp of air. "Oh no! What happened?"

Anger charged Russ's words, "DeMarco. The b.a.s.t.a.r.d broke into their home during the wedding and hid out. The night they returned from their honeymoon, he tortured Rin and made Sh.e.l.ly watch. His parents found him pinned to one of the bedposts..."

Tears streamed down her face. "That... horrible... He is... was a gin... surely he could have..."

"They had been caught by surprise. His dad said that was obvious enough." Russ growled in livid anger.

Jos furrowed her brows as she glanced over by the pile of pillows still laying by the fire. "Then it's no wonder Sh.e.l.ly refuses to transform back. She was never trying to heal the external injuries..."

Russ nodded and held Jos tighter. "She don't know she's pregnant yet. I don't think Rin told her and I haven't either."

Jos shot him a surprised look, "Should we?"

He shook his head. "Raven and I talked about it. We agreed it would most likely be too stressful for her to know right now.

"But what if she finds out on her own and thinks it's Dante's? I'm sure he raped her among other things..." She thought back to the horrible things he had joked about by the pool that day and all the nasty bruises and bite marks lining Sh.e.l.ly's scantly clad body that day and more tears seeped from her eyes. "Had I known, I would have made him suffer more..." She said through clenched teeth.

"Shh..." Russ stroked a hand over her silvery hair, "It's over now..." He scooted farther down into the bed and pulled the sheets snuggly around Jos's shoulders before adjusting his hold on her and resting his chin on the top of her head. "Get some sleep, I have a training idea to run by Ry in the morning. Hopefully if it works, he'll change his mind about sending me away."

"Sending you away? Now?" Jos asked.

"Yes, had you not asked Ry to turn you in, I have a feeling they'd already be packing my bags." He stroked her back as he gazed at the flickering flames of the fire.

"Why though?" Jos asked.

He grunted, "Because the emotional abuse I've put you through since we started dating, has put you under so much stress." He smiled down at her. "They care for you too, you know. Some of the people in your life may have came in by force, but they stay because you are an amazing person, Jos. You are what draws people to you, not some lame a.s.s curse. The sweet, kind person that puts other's needs first, who seeks justice for those too weak to fight for themselves." He held her gaze a serious look in his eyes. "They told me about the other murders around campus. Those guys were not innocent and as soon as Arei's men can prove it, there's no way the council will hold it against you."

"Jos?" He asked a hint of something left unsaid lingering in his tone.

"Yes?" She asked meeting his questioning eyes.

"Were you conscious of those crimes? When it was happening, that is?"

Jos shook her head. "No... at first I didn't even put two and two together, but then when I saw the one guy on the news... I recognized his face. He'd made some vaguer remarks to me at school, even came into my office a few times... but even then I wouldn't have put it together had Raven not called me out on it."

Russ looked puzzled for a second then realization dawned on him. "I was wondering what that was about..." He chuckled, "I guess I was too preoccupied to pay it too much attention."

She shook her head, "You were definitely persistent…" She kissed his chest.

"Um..." He growled as he pulled her up to meet his lips. "But aren't you glad now?" He kissed her deeply, "After all there's two things we do better now than ever before." He ran his fingers down her spin slowly then back up.

"Really, and what is that?" She purred as she crossed her arms over his broad chest and rested her chin on them.

He sent her a devilish grin. "I would have thought that was obvious." He leaned forward cupping her a.s.s cheek in a tight grip as he placed lingering kisses across her lips. "Fight and f.u.c.k, there's no better s.e.x than makeup s.e.x so they say." He used his grip on her b.u.t.t to pull her fully onto him until her legs startled his waist. "Now to test that theory."

She giggled, "Jeez, do you never tire?"

His smile faded to a serious stare as he gazed up at her. "Never of you."