Talia Of Animalistic 34 Her Second

"Otter, when are you due," asks Windwalker.

"Anytime now," Otter answers smiling.

"Where is Breeze and your sister, Aura," asks Eli.

"Breeze, Stinger and their children are home. We didn't want to bring the children along in case another storm hit on the way here. Plus, Stinger had a fit about being left behind with the children. So Breeze had to stay behind to appease her. We stopped by Animalistic's winter camp and Aura's having a visit with Roar. She's quite fond of him. So it's just me and Snow for now."

"Is Walter about," inquires Snow.

"He's upstairs with Talia and the babies," answers Eli.

"So what did she have," asks Windwalker, "a boy or a girl."

"Both," answers Otter with a happy giggle.

"She had fraternal twins," supplies Eli.

"Fraternal," Snow repeats the unfamiliar word questioningly.

"It means," explains Eli, "that the twins are not identical. That two different eggs were fertilized around the same time which means you could get two girls, two boys or a boy and a girl like we got. Identical twins come from the same egg and are always the same s.e.x. Cougar explained it to me."

"I didn't get to spend much time with Talia during her pregnancy," states Snow, "but she always seems pleasant to me. Stinger on the other hand is already snippy and it's early in the pregnancy. She's not even showing yet. I can only imagine it getting worse as the pregnancy progresses."

"Breeze must be excited," a.s.sumes Eli.

Windwalker shrugs, "Perhaps he will be excited when her scent changes and tells us who the father is. If it is his or mine, then he may be excited. But Stinger is irritated by the affection he shows Talia when he's around her. And she insist he shows her a lack of affection and is upset by the lack of affection I show her…" Windwalker takes a breath and sighs, "Stinger is a difficult woman. I wouldn't mate with her at all if she wasn't my brother's mate that he shares with me and if it wouldn't look strange to my tribe. So I make a show of mating with her at least once a week. But because of her constant irritation about the affection thing, she spends more time mating with the other males than Breeze."

"Maybe she's trying to make him jealous," suggest Otter.

Windwalker shrugs, "Perhaps, but it won't work. Breeze is not the jealous type… So where is everyone else? Is Mist at work?"

"No," answers Eli, "Richy, Cougar, Wildcat and Greywolf went hunting. They left this morning. We're low on venison and out of rabbit. They should be back in a couple of days, three at most."

"And where is your mate," Snow asks Otter.

"He'll be home from work in a few hours," answers Otter, "Then he's going to take some time off from work. He doesn't want to miss the birth of our baby. He wasn't planning on going in, but they called him about something urgent. He's called twice today already to check on me."

"Speaking of checking on someone," says Windwalker, "I'm going to go up to see Talia. Come on Snow. I know you want to see the babies, and Walter too of course," he teases.

Snow gives him a light slap, "You're not too big for me to bend over my knee," she says amused as she follows him.

Upstairs in the master suite, Windwalker and Snow find Talia and Walter both sitting in glide rockers. Talia is nursing a baby as Walter rocks one to sleep.

"Windwalker," calls Talia very happy to see him. She gladly accepts his greeting kiss. "I've missed you. You're overdue for visiting me."

"Not by choice," Windwalker tells her. "We're having a very harsh winter this season."

Talia sighs, "Yeah, I know. I dragged Eli along with my Will out in it three weeks ago so I could give birth in a cave."

"Three weeks ago," says Snow as she leans over Walter admiring the baby he's rocking, "There was a really bad snow storm three weeks ago."

Talia nods none too pleased with herself, "Yeah, that's the one… Don't asks me what I thought I was doing because I don't know." She steps over to a changing table to change the baby's diaper.

"So what are their names," asks Snow.

"Our son there with Walter is Orion Peaceful Griffin. Cougar has taken to calling him O.P. teasing me saying he looks like a 'little old pea.' And our girl right here is Maia Ibis Griffin."

"Maia," repeats Snow, "That's beautiful. May I hold her?"

"Of course," Talia hands her daughter to Snow, who takes a seat in the glide rocker Talia vacated next to Walter.

"They're beautiful," states Snow. "Walter, you must be so happy and proud."

"Yep," Walter nods his agreement with Snow, "It's not every day one becomes a great grey-pa, and I've got me three," nodding toward Windwalker who has picked up Will.

"Look at you looking all around," Windwalker says to Will, "You're getting big so fast… What are you feeding him, Talia?"

"We get a s.h.i.+pment of Sheila's frozen milk every week," shares Talia. "Delivery guy picks up the empty gla.s.s bottles and leaves full ones full of Sheila's milk. Plus, now he's getting my milk too. And we've started feeding him mashed foods too, a little oatmeal, rice or grits made with some breast milk and he sleeps through the night now which is awesome to me now that there are two more that need to be fed around the clock… I think the most uninterrupted sleep I've gotten in the last three weeks is a three hour stretch… I don't know how I would manage if I was alone. Eli and Greywolf cook and clean. Richy, Cougar and Wildcat help with that stuff too, but Eli and Greywolf do most of it. If I'm already nursing a baby, when another starts demanding to be fed, Cougar or Eli will warm up a bottle of breast milk for the other baby so I'm not constantly stuck with someone on my b.r.e.a.s.t.s."

Windwalker leans over and whispers in Talia's ear, "It's not their fault your b.r.e.a.s.t.s are a great place to be."

Talia laughs as she tells Windwalker, "You're bad."

"So how often are they feeding," asks Windwalker.

"Every two to three hours," answers Talia, "closer to three. And now that he's getting mashed foods, Will's eating about every four hours during the day."

Windwalker nods his understanding to Talia and says to Will, "Sounds like you're being a good boy for your mother." Will's response is a yawn and he leans toward Talia reaching for her.

"You want me little man," asks Talia taking him from Windwalker. "Are you sleepy? You should be. It's time for your nap." Will latches onto a breast and Talia leans back in Windwalker's arms. She dozes off herself for a few minutes as she waits for Will to fall to sleep.

Walter and Snow put the sleeping newborns in a ba.s.sinette together.

"They seem to sleep better this way," Walter tells Snow, "All that time stuck together in the womb I suppose."

Walter then takes Snow's hand. "We're going to go play," he tells Talia and Windwalker. And as he leads Snow out of the room, he looks back over his shoulder and he winks.

Talia smiles contentedly as she removes Will from her breast. She steps over to the two ba.s.sinettes and places him in his. She stands there admiring her three babies. She finds it amazing how quickly and suddenly she went from virgin to mate to mother. After being alone for so long, she had stopped hoping for such things. Now suddenly, she was abundantly blessed.

"They're beautiful," Windwalker tells Talia as he wraps his strong arms around her. "But then, with a beautiful mother like you, they had no choice."

Talia hangs her head as she disagrees, "I'm not beautiful." Domesticated standards of beauty still plague her, keep her from seeing how beautiful she really is, keeping her from understanding why so many men want her and are falling over themselves for her. And while stretch marks aren't seen as a bad thing for free people, they're seen as ugly and uns.e.xy in domesticated society.

Windwalker lifts her chin, "What makes you say that? Do I smell like I'm lying?"

"No…," Talia sighs, "It's just that… I'm too short. I've always been chubby. And now… Now I have so many stretch marks from carrying the twins, I've never seen another woman with even half as many stretch marks as I have. My stomach's like a road map of jello. It's disgusting… I don't get why any of you want me. Richy doesn't really have a choice. He's my true-mate."

Windwalker strokes his thumb across her cheek, "Your height does not bother me. Nearly all Air women are around your height. And I don't know why any man would want a boney woman. Bones are for dogs. Real men want meat. And women are supposed to be soft. Even Amazon women, despite their height, are not as hard as men… So when I look at you, I see a beautiful woman, beautiful to my eyes with a beautiful soul with a kind, loving and forgiving beautiful heart… I see the woman I love." He kisses her slowly savoring her mouth as his hands begin to roam her body.

"Wait," Talia putting a stop to the action, "I can't, not yet."

"I haven't seen you for nearly two months," says Windwalker frowning. "Why can't we?"

"Cougar said I shouldn't mate for at least six weeks after giving birth," Talia informs Windwalker. "He said eight weeks would be better, but that we have to wait at least six weeks."

Windwalker's brow furrows, "But you smell fine for mating. I've been around women after they've given birth. They smell very much like someone who's wounded, but the blood has a different scent… You are no longer bleeding from birth. I would smell it. I would smell it if you were still healing. I see no reason for you to wait for so long if you are fine."

Talia shrugs, "That's what Cougar said."

Windwalker sits quietly thinking for a couple of minutes. He picks Talia up and carries her to the bed. "If something seems wrong or you begin to experience any pain, we will stop and wait like Cougar said," pulling her s.h.i.+rt off.

"Okay," Talia agrees unsure if they should be doing anything. But before she can really think about it, Windwalker is trying to devour her from the mouth down and her hands are fisting in his platinum blond hair.

Eli helped Otter finish in the kitchen and carried snacks into the media room for her, Seal and the children. They were watching Nova and he was fascinated by the show and lost track of time. An hour later he remembers he meant to take Talia a snack. So he rushes to the kitchen, makes her a sandwich, pours her a gla.s.s of cold goat milk and rushes upstairs.

The smell of s.e.x hits Eli's nose as he enters the master suite. He doesn't take his eyes off Talia and Windwalker as he sits her sandwich and goat's milk on the night stand. He remembers what Cougar said about how long to wait and knows they're supposed to wait another three weeks even though Talia has smelled delicious for at least a week.

Windwalker is between Talia's thighs. His mouth is covering hers swallowing her sounds of pa.s.sion. Eli knows he forgot to tell Windwalker they're supposed to wait. But Talia doesn't seem to be having any difficulty. So Eli sits on the edge of the bed to watch and wait. But he doesn't have to wait very long. Windwalker's backs arches as he pushes the head of his c.o.c.k hard against Talia's cervix as he e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.es, sending sperm straight into her cervical opening. Talia writhes with her own o.r.g.a.s.m as Windwalker e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.es.

Windwalker kisses her slowly and whispers, "I love you," to her. He pulls out slowly, "I can't believe you're still that tight. I thought having a baby was supposed to loosen a woman up." He flops over onto his back next to Talia.

Talia looks over at Eli, her ever patient lover waiting his turn and smiles. Eli returns her smile knowing that's his cue and he lunges playfully at Talia. Talia laughs as she helps Eli pulls his s.h.i.+rt off. And all three of them laugh when Eli falls off the bed taking off his pants.

Cougar, Richy, Greywolf and Wildcat arrive back from hunting about two and a half days later. It's midmorning as they enter the mansion carrying frozen dear and rabbit. They put the meat away in the upright freezer. They can hear the TV going in the media room and stop off to check it out. They find Otter, her two children, Roar's two boys and Seal is holding Roar and Zenith's infant daughter, Zulu, as they're all watching children's educational television.

"You still pregnant, girl," Wildcat asks Otter.

Otter sighs, "Yeah, this baby likes it in there. But I am having mild contractions. But they're still an hour apart. And my mucus plug fell out this morning."

"Good," says Cougar, "Have one of the kids come get me when your water breaks. Sounds like you'll give birth today.

Walter and Snow walk into the media room together. Walter greets, "Hey, welcome home."

"How was the hunting," asks Snow sitting down with Walter on a sofa.

"It was cold," states Greywolf.

"That's the weather," Cougar tells Greywolf.

"The hunting was fine," answers Richy smiling. "We bagged two deer and three rabbits. I would have liked to have gotten a couple more rabbits. But like Greywolf said, it's cold and they're down in their holes keeping warm… Talia likes fried rabbit."

"I was thinking of talking to Talia about raising rabbits," shares Wildcat. "I could build hutches behind the garage. It would really cut down on how often we need to go hunting and when we're hunting, we could really focus on deer, elk and moose."

"That sounds like a really good idea," says Walter approvingly.

"So where's everyone else," asks Richy.

"Roar and Aura and Bob and Zenith are off mating someplace," answers Seal.

"Talia, Windwalker and Eli were down for breakfast with the babies," adds Otter, "but then they went back upstairs."

"Breeze and Stinger didn't come along," questions Cougar.

"No," answers Snow, "We didn't want to risk getting caught in a snow storm with the children. Breeze was going to come without her and the children, but Stinger decided he should stay behind with her and the kids… He loves her, but I know he needed a break from her. She wants his constant attention, as if it were possible to make up for the time they were apart. And it bothers her that Windwalker is so in love with Talia that he mates with no one else except Stinger occasionally. But that's done out of duty, not desire."

Cougar, Richy, Wildcat and Greywolf understand. None of them has touched another woman since becoming Talia's mates and consort. They don't want anyone else. Then it occurs to Cougar that if Windwalker has stopped mating with other women, his desire for Talia will be all the stronger.

Cougar nudges Richy with his elbow and tells him, "Let's go check on our girl and babies."

Richy nods his agreement to Cougar and all four men head up to the master suite with Cougar leading the way. The smell of s.e.x infiltrates their noses as Cougar opens the doors to the master suite.

"f.u.c.k," Cougar swears angrily as he steps into the study area of the master suite. Cougar is rarely angry, but he is p.i.s.sed off as he rounds the corner and the bed comes into view.

Asleep naked on the bed are Talia, Windwalker and Eli. Windwalker is on his back with Talia curled against him on her side under his arm with her head resting on his shoulder. Her top leg covering his groin. Eli is spooning Talia with his face buried in her hair. The babies are asleep in their ba.s.sinettes, Will in one and the twins in the other.

Cougar grabs Eli by the ankle, yanking him from the bed and dumping him on the floor. Then he does the same to Windwalker startling Talia and both men awake while leaving Talia naked and frightened huddled in a ball at the head of the bed. She's never seen Cougar angry before and she doesn't know what to think. Eli and Windwalker are both initially startled, and either could easily defeat Cougar in a fight. But Cougar out ranks them in their respective relations.h.i.+ps with Talia. Plus, Cougar has their respect as a healer. And if he's angry, he must have a good reason. So neither man attempts to retaliate against Cougar.

Cougar grabs Eli's pants and throws them at him. Then he does the same with Windwalker's pants. Next, he points at Talia and orders her, "Get dressed, d.a.m.n it!" Then he tells Windwalker and Eli, "Come with me."

Eli and Windwalker follow Cougar out of the master suite followed by the other three men. In a nearby unoccupied bedroom, Cougar asks Eli, "Did you tell him? Did you tell him we were to wait at least six weeks after the birth before we started mating with Talia again?"

"I forgot to tell him," admits Eli guiltily.

"Talia told me," Windwalker informs Cougar. "But I smelled her. She is completely healed from giving birth and good for mating. She hasn't been having any trouble."

"She's been healed from the birth for at least a week," adds Eli. "And she's doing well with nursing the babies. Plus, we help with the babies so she's not overwhelmed."

"Do you think I would ask for all of us to wait for six weeks without having a good reason, without having thought it through. Waiting that long is about what's best for Talia physically, mentally and emotionally," explains Cougar.

"But she's fine," responds Windwalker with no idea why Cougar is angry.

"I'm not talking about just at this moment," says Cougar, "I'm talking about a year from now, two years, for the rest of her life. I asked for us to wait six weeks because I don't think it would be fair to her if one of us got her pregnant immediately after just giving birth to two babies."

"It's been nearly two months since I last saw her," responds Windwalker. "I've missed her. And I have no children of my own yet. So I am eager for a child with Talia."

"She has three babies right now," states Cougar firmly. "A pregnancy occurring now would mean she'ld have four to take care of, another newborn, two that'll only be ten months old and one that's over a year old toddling around. That's asking a lot of her. That's asking a lot of any woman. Plus, she's not our personal baby making machine. It's selfish of us all to expect a baby from her as soon as possible, just plain selfish."

All the men are quiet for a few minutes as Cougar calms down.

Eli apologizes, "I'm sorry, Cougar. I didn't mean to do anything wrong. I love Talia and I want what's best for her as well."

"As do I," adds Windwalker, "Please forgive my ignorance, my selfishness and my lack of thoughtfulness. I thought perhaps you were just being overly cautious. I'm not a learned man like you… So how do we proceed from here?"

Cougar takes a deep breath and blows it out, "I don't know. The damage is done. Sperm can survive in the womb for up to a week after being deposited." He shakes his head, "We wait and see."

Cougar turns and heads back to the master suit where he finds Talia still confused and scared. She's dressed. She pulled on an old pair of jeans with a hole in the knee and an old t-s.h.i.+rt. She's gathered all three babies onto the bed with her. The twins sleeping in her crossed legs as she holds Will who woke up when she picked him up.

As Cougar sits on the bed he takes Will from Talia, "Hey there big boy. You being a good boy for mommy? Of course you are."

Talia scoops up a twin in each arm. "Why are you angry with me," she asks tentatively.

Cougar puts a hand to her cheek and wipes away a tear with his thumb, "No my love, I'm not angry with you." He knows she didn't study to be an OBGYN like he did. He knows she's not aware that a woman is extra fertile and easy to impregnate immediately after giving birth or having a miscarriage. He knows she loves him and her other mates and consorts and is eager to please them all. She's trying to be what they all want and need in a friend and a lover.

What Cougar doesn't know is the shape of Eli's p.e.n.i.s, the shape of all Night Crawler males' p.e.n.i.ses, aligns perfectly with and fits perfectly into a woman's cervical opening. So when he e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.es, his sperm e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.es directly into the uterus. So every time Eli mates with Talia after another male, not only does he shoot his own sperm into Talia's uterus, but he pushes sperm from the previous male in as well. Helping the previous male's sperm along. Talia doesn't know this either. All she knows is Eli and the other Night Crawler males don't leave her messy like other males do. And her o.r.g.a.s.ms with Eli as well as other Night Crawler males are often more intense. So she very much looks forward to Eli's turn with her and is happy when his pack visits.

"I'm not angry with you my love," a.s.sures Cougar. "I'm mad at Windwalker and Eli. And I'm mad at myself. I should have sent Eli hunting with Richy, Dad and Greywolf and stayed with you myself."

"But you yelled at me," Talia reminds Cougar, "You told me to get dress like I'd done something wrong."

"You didn't do anything wrong," Cougar tells her. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. Please forgive my misdirected anger… Let's go down and watch TV with everyone else."

Talia nods her agreement and they go down to the media room. Wildcat takes his grandson from Cougar while Richy and Walter relieve Talia of the twins. Cougar sits with his arm around Talia as she rests her head on his shoulder. He hums soothingly and she dozes off.

"So," Richy asks Cougar, "what do you think?"
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Cougar kisses Talia's forehead and tells Richy, "I think the damage is already done. But I still think we should abstain for the rest of the six weeks."

Later that day Cougar hands Otter her newborn announcing, "It's a boy. Here's your new son."

"He's beautiful," gushes Otter happily.

"He's perfect," determines Bob with happy tears in his eyes.

"So what's your son's name," Cougar asks Otter and Bob.

"We decided on Roderick Lake Devons.h.i.+re," answers Uncle Bob wrapping his arms around Otter and their new son. Then he kisses Otter.

"Alright Otter," Cougar instructs her, "No mating for six weeks with anyone. It would probably be best if you waited for eight weeks, but wait at least six."

Otter nods her agreement, "I'll wait Cougar. I think I waited nearly three months after each of my first two. I was afraid of getting pregnant again too soon."

"Good," Cougar responds. "You go ahead and spend a couple of months resting and getting to know your new son."

Then later that night with the other men present, Cougar tells Talia, "I want you to marry me. I want to be your second husband. I know it's legal as long as everyone is a consenting adult over twenty-one and all spouses are in agreement. So as long as Richy agrees, I can be your husband too."

"Why do you want to do this thing," Wildcat asks Cougar needing to hear his son's reason for wanting to go through a domestic wedding with Talia when he's already her mate.

Cougar explains to them, "Talia is going to get pregnant by either me or you or Windwalker or Eli. Which means she will have children that Richy didn't father that may look very different from her first two with Richy. It may be quite obvious that Richy's not their biological father… If Talia has two husbands, then it won't look so odd if some children look more like one father than the other…

We still have domesticated society to deal with and reporters are fascinated with you, Talia Devons.h.i.+re, the richest, most powerful woman in the world who also happens to be wild. You're a hot topic for domesticated society… That's why I think you should take me as your husband too. And I think Richy and I should take your last name. It will be less confusing if we all have the same last name, not some of them Griffins and some of them Wilsons. And what? The ones fathered by your other mates and consorts get to be Devons.h.i.+res? It would just be more fodder for the fire."

"As much as I think the domestic wedding ceremony is a load of s.h.i.+t," Wildcat admits, "Cougar has a point. Domesticateds are always looking for negative things to say about Wilds. And I saw how those reporters surrounded y'all at the courthouse on TV. It'ld be best to give them as little reason as possible to poke at."

"Would the domestic wedding change anything for the rest of us," asks Windwalker concerned.

"No," answers Greywolf. "We all retain our positions with Talia. None of us will drop in rank. Its purpose is to help safe guard Talia and our children against domesticateds that are looking for ways to harm her and the positive image she represents for Wilds."

"What do you think, Mist," asks Wildcat.

Richy nods his agreement with Cougar, "I think it's a good idea. I wasn't there, but I saw the way the reports surrounded y'all when you came out of the courthouse on TV too. Worse than a pack of hyenas. I heard the questions they were asking too. They were like locusts."

Talia has some concerns, "It may be legal, but most of domesticated society still frowns upon it. It's something old religions, wild folks and the poorest of the working poor practice. The majority of domestics believe those who practice plural marriage for religious reasons have all been brain washed since birth, Wilds practice it because we're all wild and can't be tamed. We just have all sorts of wild, crazy notions and practices. And as for the working poor, we all know how expensive everything is. It's near impossible to survive on the below average salary of one working poor person's income. So if you didn't inherit a home from your parents, grandparents or other relative, affording their own home, no matter how modest it is, is nearly impossible unless they come together in threes or fours. No one wants to spend their whole life living in a tiny apartment nor try to have and raise a family under those conditions… And me openly marrying and having a second husband will most likely be seen as some sort of deviant wild behavior finally exhibiting itself. People of my socioeconomic standing don't practice plural marriage because they have too much to lose financially and it complicates prenuptial agreements."

Richy tells her and the other men, "It will be controversial. But Cougar's thinking ahead, thinking about what's best for our children. One last name, Devons.h.i.+re. So if they want to pursue things in domesticated society, they can… And I say we take this one step further. Because marriages are public records, instead of waiting for the media to get wind of it and swarm like locusts, we call that nice reporter Connie. We invite her out here, give her a face-to-face interview. It'll stem the tide of reporters trying to get in your face."

"Maybe she should just admit she has other mates," suggest Eli.

Talia's mouth drops open. The very thought of admitting to domestic society she has more than one mate terrifies her.

"Don't panic," Greywolf tells Talia. "But I do think it's a good idea. You don't have to admit to having consorts, but domestics need a clearer more accurate picture of us as a people. They need to know we are people first just like them."

"I don't know," responds Talia warily as she shakes her head. "I need to think about it. And I'll discuss it with Uncle Bob tomorrow too."

And the next day as he sits next to Otter nursing their newborn son, Talia's Uncle Bob tells her, "Actually, I think it's a good idea. Cougar's love for you equals Richy's and in some ways exceeds Richy's. He's loved you his whole life and is already every bit a husband to you as Richy. It may be controversial, but I see nothing wrong with making it official. And I could sit in with you during a face-to-face with Connie if it would make you more comfortable. I certainly wouldn't mind showing off my woman and our new son to the world." He kisses Otter. "Besides, Connie is a real dear. She'll go over all the questions with you before the interview and take out any that you're uncomfortable with."

"Then we'ld just be sitting there staring at each other because there wouldn't be anything for her to ask me," responds Talia wryly. "Although I suppose she could always ask me about the weather."

Uncle Bob and Otter both chuckle. Uncle Bob tells Talia, "Look, Cougar may spend a lot of the time joking and being a smart a.s.s, but I have found him to be a profoundly deep thinker. He's not acting on a whim. He's thought this through."

"Cougar would never ask you to do anything he thought could possibly be harmful to you or the children," adds Otter. "He loves you."

"I know," responds Talia with a thoughtful nod. "I know… I want what's best for all of us too… It's just, I do my best not to attract unwanted attention, especially unwanted media attention."

"You endure a little extra media attention now under controlled circ.u.mstances," Uncle Bob tells Talia, "to cut down on unwanted uncontrolled media attention later. Right now, your first three children are babies and don't understand much beyond comfort and discomfort. Later they'll be older and asking questions of their own. A mob of reporters would terrify them. I'm sure these are concerns Cougar has been mulling over along with some others I probably haven't considered."

Talia takes a deep breath and tells herself, "A little extra attention now under controlled conditions for much less attention later under uncontrolled conditions." She repeats that to herself silently as she goes to Cougar with her answer.

Talia steps up to Cougar and tells him, "Okay, but keep it small and private."