The Azure King's Last Life 4 Loki, God Of Lolicons

You heard right. Loki, G.o.d of mischief. Otherwise known as the pain in the a.s.s of every being from heaven to h.e.l.l.

Roland was pleasantly surprised at meeting an old friend. He promptly walked foward and held out a hand, ignoring his attempt to dismember the guy moments before.

Loki quickly backtracked.

"Dude, get away from me with that dirty a.s.s thing." He pointed towards Roland's junk.

Roland looked down and belatedly realized he was still buck naked.

"Ah." He recalled. That's right. "Sorry. Got called in the middle of some rather important business."

"Mmhm." Loki shot him a knowing look. "I'm sure it was very important." He chuckled. "So what was it?"

Roland shrugged. "Some pixie. And a valkyrie. The last one might have been a Nightmare but I wasn't really paying much attention."

Loki was impressed. "A valkyrie AND a Nightmare? In the same room? And they weren't trying to strangle each other?"

"No, they did. But for a different reason than usual."

The G.o.d let out a low whistle. " Man. Now that's something. Pops would be p.i.s.sed if he knew."

Odin. Not a very open minded fellow.

"Yeah, that's what I thought too." Roland chuckled, relis.h.i.+ng the thought of the guy finding out somewhow and throwing a hissy fit.

Roland had a bad experience with Odin once and getting back at the p.r.i.c.k did something for him that was d.a.m.n near s.e.xual.

"So care to put something on?"

Roland silently conjured a new set of clothes.

In his defence, clothes mattered little to him. After spending several months trapped with a h.o.r.n.y, free-spirited Fae to whom the concept of clothes had not ever been introduced, and considering the amount of time he spent out of them during that period....well, old habits die hard.

"Anyway what're you doing here?" Roland finally got around to asking.

"No, no, what are YOU doing here?" The G.o.d shot back. "Like do you even know where here is? This planet's invitation-only."

Roland nodded at the kids by their feet. "Direct that to them. They're the ones who summoned me. Blood summon. Grand. I must've pa.s.sed three galaxies getting here."

"Blood summon? The f.u.c.k? Since when are you letting just anyone get ahold of your blood? Sol's going to go apes.h.i.+t when he finds out, you know he's always had a hard-on for your genes."

"Long as you don't tell he'll never know. And I didn't give it to them. That's why I came here."

"I see. So which one of these kids...?"

"I think the red haired one."

"Her compatibility with you has to be huge then."

Understatement. Mortal beings of their level would never usually be able to handle the power of Roland's blood without him actively guiding and taming the energy contained within it for them.

Even with a high compatibility it was a wonder how this girl survived at all. He thought there'd be brain damage at the very least. Some personality disorders or something.

"I'll ask how they got it when they wake up."

"Good call." Loki commented. "By the way, what's that? It's creepy. Throw it away. "

He pointed to Roland's belt, where he'd just now tied a lock of hair to. A lock of hair attached to a terrified immortal gagged with a piece of freshly skinned bear pelt.

"Mhhmfff! Uffhghhguu!!!"

The frenzied reaction at finally being noticed was heartbreaking.

Roland poked his eye.

"This? Nothing, don't worry about it. I'm going to f.u.c.k it's mom though."

Loki blinked. " Yeah. Okay. Sorry I asked." He averted his gaze. Seeing how saggy the immortal looked made his face a bit pale when he pictured the mom. "Hope she's pretty."

Roland sighed. "So do I." Of course if it really came down to it he could probably cast a transformation spell or two.

"URGGHHHH!" The head cried.

This earned another poke. "Hush, you. Trust me, you deserve it."

The immortal--lets just call him Fred. Fred the head. Heh--sobbed. Confusion colored his eyes.

It was a lot different from his previous overbearing self.

But then again anyone would break down when waking up and realizing they were a disembodied head. And being played with like they were a tennis ball.

"Out of sick curiosity, what'd he do?"

"Threatened me with my t.e.s.t.i.c.l.es in pig fat."

"And so you have to f.u.c.k his mom." Loki deadpanned.

"Obviously."

"...Ro." Loki started. His smile was wide. "You really are one f.u.c.ked up dude. No wonder we're friends." He laughed uproariously.

Roland got back to the topic at hand. "This planet has to be under Aesir influence if you're here, huh? Weird, I didn't know you guys had influence in such a remote area."

It was a big multi-verse. Can't expect them to have a foothold everywhere. A lot of the mortal realm was largely unexplored.

"No, not exactly. We're kinda....sharing it? We aren't the only pantheon here. It's a superplanet, Ro. Like really f.u.c.king big. It's about twenty times the size of your realm."

Okay. Woah. That was pretty big, he'll admit.

"Sometimes we just make neutral grounds, you know? Vacation spots. Like a summer house or whatever. Plus the history buffs think it used to play host to an avatar of one of the old G.o.ds and ain't that some interesting s.h.i.+t? Me, I'm just here to enjoy the views."

Roland stared at him evenly.

He squirmed. "Alright so maybe I've got a little project in the works too. Sue me."

"What project?" Roland eyed him suspiciously. Knowing Loki it couldn't be good.

The last "project" he had caused an entire planet's population to fart noxious fumes for a full week.

This was not limited to the humans either. None of the animals were spared.

"Just, you know, some educational stuff." He evaded.

"Loki..."

"It's like a daycare center."

The worry grew. "Please don't tell me you kidnapped someone's kids."

"The h.e.l.l you take me for? f.u.c.k you."

"Loki I swear on Satan's hairy n.u.t.s.a.c.k that if you're running some sort of weird child fighting ring, I'm going to call your ex and have her deal with you."

The G.o.d was quiet for a long time. "....Which ex?"

"You know which."

" You're an a.s.s, you know that? Your dad shot you up the wrong hole."

Roland folded his hands. "Yeah well my father's not the only one who shot it up the wrong hole, now is he? What's the matter, Papa Loki? Regretting anything, hmm?"

"Oh go screw yourself." He glared. "And I'm NOT running a child fight ring, thank you very much."

But that was a pretty good idea. He made a mental note to remember that later.

"What else could it be then?"

Loki puffed up his chest. "Let me just say that you're now looking at the respectable headmaster of a prestigious, newly founded academy attended by the very best and brightest little brats the Higher Planes have to offer." He then added, a touch quieter," And I only kidnapped, like, not even ten of them."

Roland's mind froze.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Me. Headmaster. Academy."

"You? Really?"

"Yep."

"How old are the students?"

"It varies. Some are 14, some are like 400. And older."

"And you...you're not f.u.c.king any of them, are you?" It had to be asked, it just had to. 400 is really d.a.m.n young for a lot of races. And 14? The guy's choice form was a 13 year old shota...

"I won't even dignify that with a response." He huffed.

"So you've thought about it."

Loki exploded into action. "Girls mature pretty fast these days, alright!" He defended.

"f.u.c.king lolicon."

"Age is just a number!"

"Disgusting pig."

"I'm already older than this universe, okay, most people are like kids to me anyway!"

"Your depravity knows no bounds."

"Says the guy who just got done having s.e.x with a trinity of women who have to at least be several centuries older than him."

"I landed three cougars, then. That's not disgusting, that's amazing."

"How is that any different from me? I'm a silver fox, understand? And I haven't even laid hands on any of my precious young wards anyway, just so you know. But even if I did shouldn't they feel lucky that I took that kind of notice of them?"

"You're despicable. It's not the same at all. They're underage."

"How? There's not even a universal standard!"

Loki was utterly flabbergasted at Rolands's logic. So it was fine if HE f.u.c.ked older women but I, Loki, an older man, can't even think about f.u.c.king younger women?

He felt wronged.

He might have thought of it, but come on, he wasn't that thirsty! And so what if he was? They weren't young, naive children anymore....except that one chick what wasn't even 15 yet, but still...er, actually, wasn't 15 legal in some places? Especially in human populations?

No, no, bad Loki....you can do better. That girl's a washboard anyway.

"Alright let's not get into your sick perversions anmore. Why're you running a school?"

"I do it in the name of science!"

"No, really."

"I was bored."

"Atta boy. So what's so special about the kids then? Best and brightest? I a.s.sume you don't mean academic-wise."

"'Course not. These ones are prime Higher Plane livestock. Gots big names attached to them."

"Meaning?"

"They've all got rare abilities."

"Any Dragon race?"

"A few. Yeah." Loki got all starry-eyed. " Imagine it, Ro. The best bloodlines, the strongest Legacies, cultivated to perfection by yours truly...a few years from now, a grand stadium. Me against a thousand. The pupils trying to surpa.s.s the master in an epic showdown of strength and will! The clash between the old and the new! Then after three days and nights of battle would be I, emerging victorious! Curb-stomping all these s.h.i.+tty brats, making their a.s.ses mine. I might even take a concubine or two from them."

"So you're training a generation of young, privileged, Higher Plane blue bloods for a battle you're going to host just so you can show off, fight, and f.u.c.k?"

"Well I think my explanation had more flare, but yeah. Also f.u.c.king is optional. The female students are a bunch of beauties but still leave much to be desired. I don't accept just anyone. I have standards."

"That's a lie. Also: Bet I can have them kick your a.s.s."

"You offering to be their combat instructor, Ro?" A hesitant question.

"I have no idea what planet I'm on and got no place to stay. You provide food and a place to crash, I whip these kids into shape."

To be honest Roland felt bad. A lot of the n.o.ble families of the Higher Planes were left dest.i.tute after a little incident involving Roland.

It wasn't his fault. He tried to avoid trouble. But they kept coming and he kept killing and eventually he was one of the most hated people in the whole place. Right up there with Loki.

Maybe they'd forgive him if he gave them a few prodigies.

"You are not that kind."

"I also want you to help me take care of these four. And something besides that too."

"I'll get them a few rooms to live in. What else do you need?"

Roland waved a hand. Instantly three corpses collapsed at his feet.

"His friends?" Loki asked, meaning Fred.

"Yeah. Something's up with them. Want you to help me examine their bodies."

"Can do." He agreed. "How long are you really planning on staying?"

"Long as it takes for me to get a satisfactory answer from that red-hair, originally. If you can help me figure out what these four knew, though, I'll stay long enough to make good on my words."

"About my a.s.s being kicked, you mean? I'd really like to see how you'll get them to that level. They're problem children. Even I only expected to get them to the level of a warm up."

"Which is why I'll be the teacher and you'll be the mascot."

"I'm the headmaster."

"I bet my left nut you have someone else taking care of the job for you."

"...know it all."

"Lazy a.s.s lolicon."

"...Alright, that's it. Call me a lolicon...one more time." The G.o.d dared.

"Loli-"

"And we're gone."

In a flash of light, he teleported them all away.

Including Roland.

Roland hated teleporting.