Destroy Your New Life, Repair It, Destroy It Again By Doing Crazy Things While Screaming YOLO! 32 Detective Conar Or The Gap…

After collecting all the blood, I return to the feast.

It should be soon finished and then the emperor will do the announcement.

It just happens that I see the emperor on the other side of the room.

Aside him are three women of his harem and…

Huh?

The big-bad-guy-slash-hippie-slash-dolfy???

I should really find him a name, but well he's here, and is talking to the emperor.

Then something I didn't predict happens, I remark a slight blur between the emperor's wine cup and the hand of big-bad-guy-slash-hippie-slash-dolfy.

Isn't he the true master of the emperor? Since when does he need to use such ways to do that?

I'm closing in to the emperor while thinking.

Once close enough, I look at the scene with care.

A detail doesn't escape my sharp sight: there is water on the floor, and no one is drinking water here!

Obviously, with the help of my incredible brain and of my detective capacity (and also of a plot shortcut of the author), I instantly guess that the big-bad-guy-slash-hippie-slash-dolfy is a girl!

Effectively, a molecular a.n.a.lysis done by my AI after my guess confirm it: this liquid on the floor is recent vag gunk!

And as the big-bad-girl-sla… Well, let's call her Huguette.

And as Huguette was standing at this exact place, I easily deduce her s.e.x!

As for what's exciting her…

I have no f.u.c.king idea!* (without bad word play).

No, seriously!

What could excite someone like Huguette?

What could excite a rank 500 trap that is at the same time a big bad guy, a hippie and an earthling?

Got several possibilities coming to my mind right now…

1) A spell to grow up enough to use a mountain as s.e.x toy.

2) Copulating with a nuclear missile DURING the explosion.

3) See if there's a way to drink orangina just aside the sun.**

4) What did you expect?**

And some others maybe, but that seems less likely than others:

1) Burn the juives of this world that are mysteriously called "danit".

2) Use a danit as toilets.

And the one that seems the less likely:

1) Kill people, like the emperor for example.

Some will say that my brain doesn't work correctly because I thought about the less logical first, but I'll answer simply:

It's the fault of the author.

Isn't the author the one who wrote me?

All of that to say that my logic is implacable and that whatever you'll say, I'll be right because I am… Conan Edogawa! Uh no, Conar Edomoar!***

And… The detective I am knows well that a typical detective is supposed to investigate on deaths and mysteries to find proofs, not acc.u.mulate proofs on everyone who cross their path without even using it!

But well!

It's not important, what's the most important is team spirit!

What's the connection with being a detective?

Well, it's that a group of detectives is better than an individual…

Hey! I hear what you're saying! I'm not alone! I got my AI, okay?

It's not the head of someone alone in the life I'm doing!

No! My AI is my friend… She exists, okay?

Don't treat her as a machine, she's my friend…

*In French, "foutre" is used instead of an equivalent of "f.u.c.king". It means a lot of things, like foutre can be used as "doing" in a slang way, but also as sperm.

**References to ads, here an Orangina ad of a few years ago already and a serie of Schweppes ads, "What did you expect" (in English in French) quite old too.

***Of course, Conan of Detective Conan! The famous! In French, connard means… about the same thing that b.a.s.t.a.r.d, except the family part?