Destroy Your New Life, Repair It, Destroy It Again By Doing Crazy Things While Screaming YOLO! 8 Oh Sh*T, Which One Is It Already Or The Cliff Is So High That We Need To Go Down

After using most of my new life to catch up the knowledge I missed, and to set up a solid base for the future, I started a desperate quest to have more magic powers, even if it can possibly destroy my future (yes I know it's stupid).

When some people, that I'm not at all actually stabbing in the back, get it by fine with a speech about friends.h.i.+p, me, I had two solutions: possessing an artifact able to augment magic powers, which I can probably find in the Empire, or ask to Merlin. I was hesitating a bit about what to do, Merlin and the Empire are two equally terrifying, imagine if you had the choice between speaking to the president or going to North Korea, the difference being that the president is preside over half the world, and the North Korea is taking the other half… Merlin being an ally (with my experience with illuminati and conspiracy theories on Earth I'm not really sure), it was better to ask him advice, and also, my position in Nyggloth is letting me asking for an audience without any risks.

Two years later (yes it's a very long queue, but he was isolated in his laboratory the first year, so it's fine), finally! I had an audience!

That is how I had another time a choice:

Going to do an errand (search an object) for Merlin or do nothing.

Going to find an object, it's easy, you say?

Normally yes, but this object is behind more than 4,000 km of ocean and 2,000 km of land!

You still don't see the problem?

It's in the Empire!

Still don't?

It's in the city of the G.o.d Vaal, the G.o.d of courage! Where everyone is armed to the teeth!

You still want more?

It's in the HEADQUARTERS of the heroes' guild! And I need to steal it!

I'm crying in my head… Somewhere, in a recess of my spirit, my consciousness is in recovery position (see translator note) But I knew I had to do it… But seriously, Merlin is asking me as it was some bread to buy the morning! I'm sure that if I had now to imagine his heal, I'll see a trollface…

But even then, I had to go! I dried my inner tears, wrote my will, dug my tomb, wrote my name and let a place for the date on it, kissed my child, s.h.i.+t I didn't have any, kissed my wife, s.h.i.+t I didn't have one either f.u.c.k I'm so lonely, I organized with magic the sending of my will to my parents if I wasn't back in a year, and I was going, full of joy, delighted, and extremely positive about my survival chances.

[…]

Holy s.h.i.+t I hated the sea. I wasn't feeling well. A little bit bad. It's been a week I was on the sea and still no ground in sight. I supposed I was about to die on the sea before seeing the ground… I knew I should have invented the magic plane before going! Seems like we always forget something before a journey…

What was the use of knowing all these things if it was to not use them? I had to invent train (s.h.i.+t, G.o.d of strategy Prat already did this), plane, zeppelin (it's only a worse version of the plane but I only had to wait 10 years before releasing the plane that would make more money), cars (maybe a bit early, I don't know), and piles of things!

But I definitely had to established myself in the black market, I'll invent the p.o.r.n magazines (it would certainly be considered illegal) and drug (I'll be able to sell it always more than the previous time to addicts, I was a genius!).

While I was thinking about my pure and saint projects for future, the le s.h.i.+p was oscillating. That movement was cause by a sea creature, huge, that was darkening the sea for kilometers, that seemed to be a lot of time bigger than a whale (19 kilometers by 9), et that yet had the same name. And that b.a.s.t.a.r.d of whale was making the water moving a created something magic, beautiful, happy, clean, everything you want:

-s.h.i.+t! I vomited!

[…]

Just arrived, already gone.

It seems that the crew of the boat was in a hurry, they threw out all the pa.s.sengers (Of course, I made them believe that I was a simple non-important migrant that travel illegally), took some supplies for the travel, and was gone quickly.

The place of arrival was a little, tiny village, that seems to be formed of a port, and of a shabby tavern. In contrast of Nyggloth that mix magic and technology, the Empire IS the heroic fantasy itself.

The only difference is that there was nor elf, nor dwarf, nor any humanoid creature censused for a century. The world being made of a continent, and island, and a second hidden continent, there wasn't a lot of things. Originally, the world of Moth was filled of many kingdoms, their number was varying a lot, but the main ones were about forty. Then the Empire grew, and absorbed everything.

All of this is to say that the humanoid kingdoms have also been absorbed. There should still be some, but discrimination and all the talk, so they were forced to go, even if most of them have been exterminated. Some said that they were on an island, like Nyggloth, but no one really knew, perhaps they are all already dead, but what we knew is that there wasn't any in the Empire. At least, almost any, the last were sold as slaves for exorbitant sums of money, apparently.

Anyway, I had to stop to be loosed in my thoughts every time. I started my journey of 2000 km to the city of Vaal. Fortunately, the mages were very common here, so I could use magic to be faster.

[…]

At the end of my journey, I arrived at the city of the G.o.d Vaal, intelligently named Vindi Vaal (Vaal the divine), they don't overdo it in the Empire (and the G.o.ds have a f.u.c.king ego), by the way, the region have the same name .

I arrived, it was the night. The gates were closing.

I sprinted the last 100 meters, but was stopped by a guard:

-Halt you, the gates of the city are closed until dawn.

-Listen, the gate is not even completely closed, can't I pa.s.s?

-10 silver coins.

-What?

-If you want to pa.s.s it's 10 silver coins.

-Are you taking the piece out of me?

-Hey, you hear that, Hagas?

-Yeah I hear, Crayg!

-This guy, he thinks that it was free! Now cough up the 20 coins!

-Seriously! Wasn't it 10 coins?

-Hey, you hear that, Hagas?

-Yeah I hear, Crayg!

-He thinks we don't know how to count! Now cough up the 50 coins!

I needed to pa.s.s, I didn't want to give them money, but I didn't want to be remarked either, I accepted reluctantly that armed robbery:

-Take…

Anyway, I dropped the respect, YOU are not respecting me I am not respecting you.

-Honestly, did you think you can corrupt us?

He said while putting the coins in his purse.

-Hey, you hear that, Hagas?

-Yeah I hear, Crayg!

-So, what do you think about going to sleep?

-Well why not.

f.u.c.king NPC! On top of that, they weren't going to sleep, they were about to spend my money for alcohol! I know guys that were about to dive in an eternal sleep, if I get hold of them!

Never mind, it seemed I had to wait until dawn…

However, I hated it, I had already used a lot of gold pieces to find a smuggler, with the more than 50 silver coins (half of a gold coin!) that just leaved, I had the feeling that I didn't have a lot of budget left for this trip! Almost all my money was left at Nyggloth!

[…]

The next day, after a night without sleeping, I entered in the city the morning. I went to the inn Merlin indicated to me, I took the designated room, and slept all the day.

After waking up, I used a magic method to read secret inscriptions on the wall of the room. It was a detailed map of the city, of the differents possible ways of escape, with the distances thoroughly copied. There was also a plan of the headquarters of heroes, also detailed. It seemed a lot of work was necessary to obtain as many informations. Even then, the closer it was from the treasure room, the less the map was precise, and the room itself was an empty rectangle. It seemed there was limits to gathering of informations… I quickly memorized the plan, the superior memory of mages being certainly efficient and useful.

I ate, went back to the room, prepared one at a time the tools that could be of use, and turned over in my head multiple times the map and the spells I could possibly need.

[…]

Everything was going smoothly, I arrived at the treasure room by aura's marked teleportation (the teleportation with a marker is more precise and more discreet, because almost undetectable magically, than a basic teleportation, the use of aura adds to the discretion, but on the contrary lack in precision). I evaded all the physical like magic traps (seems like videogames are useful sometimes, especially when the heroes are all plagiarisms of heroic fantasy heroes and are all extremely predictable). I entered the room.

And then, in front of thousands of treasures of the heroes' guild, I just realized something: superior memory of mages my a.s.s, I forgot which treasure I had to steal!

-Oh s.h.i.+t, at worst in doubt I take everything!