Untouchable. Part 13

How much of him could she see? Not as much as if they were lovers, but still, she did see. He did his very best to think only of his strengths, to feel only his strengths, so that she would not see his weaknesses.

If he continued to keep the other down, soon the light would be gone. Alix did not have the strength to survive as Trystan had all these years. He would fade away, disappear-and then Trystan would be able to take all that he wanted without fear.

Standing there with that shocked and saddened expression on her face, Sanura eventually stopped asking for Alix. She eventually stopped ordering him to leave. Did she finally believe that the man she loved was gone for good? He hoped so. That would make the coming days much easier.

In order to keep the fear in her alive, he pulled up her skirt and exposed her trembling legs. She gasped, even though the clothing she had worn until so recently had exposed much more. Her body stiffened and she tried to pull away, but could not. He was much stronger than she was, and if he refused to allow her to escape, she would not escape. She was his as surely as Alix was his. They were equally helpless.

He was forced to release Sanura in order to grab the faded underskirt she'd bought from Donia. As soon as his grip loosened, she attempted to run, to pull the fabric from his hands and flee. Trystan held on tightly, and yanked hard to throw her to the ground. She landed hard, her skirt and her braid spilling around her. He stood over her and smiled, and she began to cry silent tears.

"You're not going anywhere," he said. He held her in place with the heel of his boot on her midsection, while he tore long strips of fabric from the underskirt.

"What are you doing?" she asked. Her voice trembled.

Trystan ignored her question as he admired the curve of her legs and the rise and fall of her bosom.

"Perhaps tonight you will show me what all the fuss is about," he said. It wouldn't do for her to know that he was afraid to have s.e.x with her until he was certain that Alix was entirely gone. "I don't see how one woman could be any more pleasing than another. You all have the same basic body parts, so any woman will do when the urge for s.e.xual release arises."

"Tonight?" She sounded both relieved and confused.

Trystan dropped to his knees, straddling the terrified woman. "I would take you now, but we need to make progress while the sun s.h.i.+nes. The sooner we get to Arthes, the sooner I can take what should be mine."

"Nothing should be yours," she whispered.

Trystan caught up her wrists with a length of the torn underskirt and tied them tightly together. "Alix doesn't like to see you restrained, but I do," he explained. "In fact, it gives me great pleasure to see you trussed up so neatly." He gave the bonds a tug. "Too tight?"

She nodded.

"Good." When her wrists were well bound, he moved to her ankles and tied them together just as tightly.

When that was done, he lay atop her, placing his face close to hers. He smelled her, felt the crush of her body beneath his. What a shame that he had to wait to make her entirely his.

"I thought you were in a hurry to get to Arthes," she said.

"I am."

"Then get off of me."

Trystan smiled. She no longer asked for Alix because she knew he was deeply buried and as bound as she herself was. So close, he could not help but remember how he had seduced her before, when she'd thought the other was in command. He'd touched her, entered her, felt the squeeze of her body as it took his. He told her one woman was like any other, but that was not entirely true. With blue or golden skin, she was extraordinary. He ground his erection against her. "If I wished to make quick work of you, I would take you now," he said, "but when I do take you again, it will not be quick, and you will not be fooled for even one moment that your precious Alix survives. He'll be gone, thanks to you. Thanks to the walls you broke down for me, thanks to the way you forced him to break his strict code of moral conduct. Thanks to the way you seduced us."

"I did not seduce you," she argued.

"Yes, you did, and whether you'll admit it or not, you knew I was there, just beneath the surface. You've always liked me better than Alix." He grinned at her as he remembered what they had shared, how she had responded to him. "He's boring and staid and ordinary. I'm exciting and dangerous, and whether you admit to it or not, you like the danger in me. A woman like you would never be satisfied with the tedious prince." He leaned down and very slowly raked the tip of his tongue against her throat. She shuddered. She tasted so d.a.m.n good. "You'd much rather have an emperor who takes that which is his, and you knew I was ready to have my time, to take my life." He rose slightly and glared down at her. "Admit it, love, you knew f.u.c.king Alix would free me. You knew."

He rose, then took her bound hands and pulled her to her feet. Not caring if she fell or not, he dragged her toward the waiting horse. Even with Sanura bound and carried across his lap, they could be in Arthes in two days if he rode hard enough.

"Wait, wait!" Sanura shouted. "Let me stand for a moment and get my bearings."

"Why?" he barked.

"Because if you don't, I will likely throw up on you and the horse. I hit the ground too hard. My head aches and my stomach is roiling. Give me one moment to calm my insides and compose myself. Please."

He did not want to be retched upon, so he did as she asked and stood her on her feet. It wasn't as if she could run with her ankles bound as they were.

Standing, she found the nerve to look him in the eye. The fear remained, but so did a hint of defiance. He didn't like the defiance, but he was sure it would not last long. A few hours of riding tossed over the horse like a sack of horse feed would shake the insolence right out of her.

She studied him for a moment, perhaps trying to see into his heart. Trystan was not worried, as he was pretty sure he didn't have one, not in the sense which would help this witchy woman in any way.

When Sanura moved, she took him by surprise. Steady on her feet, she swung her bound wrists and slapped the horse on the rump. As she hit the animal, she screamed, letting forth a piercing cry which threatened to deafen him. The animal reared back, and then it ran. Trystan gave chase for a moment, following in the horse's path and calling for it to return, but it was soon evident that the horse was gone.

He turned, expecting to find his prisoner attempting escape in spite of her bonds. She was not. Sanura stood where he'd left her, her d.a.m.ned defiance more evident than ever. "You wh.o.r.e," he said as he neared her. "You have cost me days. Days!"

"I know," she said with serenity.

He raised his hand and curled his fingers into a fist, intent on bringing her to the ground with a blow. When she was down, he'd knife her in the heart, he'd feel the blade slip into her flesh, and he'd watch the life fade from her eyes. Forget the s.e.x, forget the sleeping Alix, he wanted to kill her now.

His arm froze in midair, refusing to swing downward, refusing to strike the woman before him. More than once he tried to send his fist swinging, but his arm would not move. Apparently Alix did not sleep as deeply as he'd thought.

Trystan lowered his arm and pretended acceptance. "It is of no consequence. The horse will return to me as soon as the fright of your attack fades."

"I doubt that," she said confidently. "The animal understands that you are not the man he knows. You are not the horse's master, and though you may look and sound like Alix, you are not him. I know it. The horse knows it. It will not come back."

"I will simply steal another," he said, refusing to show his anger. She could not know that the reason he did not kill her for her actions was that Alix would not allow it.

Sanura glanced around, taking in the desolate forest and the abandoned and rarely used path, pointing out without a word that it might be quite some time before he found a horse to steal.

Trystan pulled the dagger from his belt and held it beneath her nose. If she felt fear, she did not show it. If he intended to cut her, the other would know and would stop him, so he did not even think of drawing blood. He only wanted to scare her, and he did.

Trystan dropped to his haunches and threw up Sanura's skirt. With a swift move, he cut the cloth that bound her ankles. "We will walk instead of riding, thanks to you," he said.

"I don't mind walking," she said.

He rose slowly and tucked his dagger back in its sheath. "Don't think you won't pay for this," he whispered. "One way or another, you will pay." He grinned at her. "But you won't stop me."

HAVING her hands bound was inconvenient, but it wasn't as though she was unaccustomed to the circ.u.mstance. Queen Coira had insisted on chains whenever Sanura had made an appearance in the Tryfyn court. She hadn't had to trek over uneven landscapes in the Tryfyn court, however. She'd fallen three times this afternoon, and each time Trystan had only laughed at her as he'd tugged on the rope he'd fas.h.i.+oned from what had remained of her underskirt, a rope with which he led her as if she were the horse he had lost.

She was not as stupid as he thought she was. His arrogance blinded him. His joy at being free overshadowed much of what he should see. He'd wanted to hit her after she'd sent the horse running. He'd wanted very much to kill her for ruining his plans, and as he was so much a primal being, he had been driven by his baser instincts to act. It hadn't been chance or luck which had saved her. Trystan hadn't harmed her in any way because Alix wouldn't allow it.

Alix wasn't gone.

She repeated those words like a mantra-Alix isn't gone. Alix isn't gone.-as she marched in Trystan's wake. It wasn't her selfishness which had killed him; it hadn't been her foolish decision to take what she wanted that had meant a defeat by the darkness he had successfully fought all his life. She would save him, somehow. She would bring Alix to the surface, and then she would leave him alone so that Trystan would never again be tempted-not by her.

All along he had known that the two of them together was wrong, that their surrender would lead to disaster. He'd told her many times that she was not his to take. Foolishly, she'd been certain that she could have all that she wanted, that she could embrace this new life and new land and choose the man who would possess her. She'd thought she could choose love. She'd been wrong. Horribly, disastrously, wrong.

Trystan's darkness made him more difficult to read than most others, but she did see his insecurity quite clearly. He might tell her that Alix was dead, but he did not believe it to be true. Trystan now fought to suppress Alix, just as Alix had fought the shadows for so many years.

Somehow she would save him. She would undo all that she had done in the name of desire and love. Love was never meant to be hers, and she'd been tempting fate to think she could take it, even for a short while.

Trystan would never love. He was incapable of doing anything more than taking what he wanted. Power, s.e.x, food . . . sleep.

In the past, Trystan's possession, for lack of a better word, hadn't lasted for more than a few precious minutes. An hour, perhaps. He had never had to sleep, to rest, to let go of his tight rein of control. And yet, his body would eventually require sleep. When Trystan slept, would Alix have the chance to reemerge? While Trystan dreamed, would she be able to call Alix to her?

Sanura looked heavenward. She had always believed in the One G.o.d, but in Tryfyn there were those who prayed to many G.o.ds and G.o.ddesses. One for weather, one for abundanceof fish. One for health, one for the pa.s.sing of the moon. She could not begin to remember them all.

She did not know if the One G.o.d listened to her now or if another G.o.d or G.o.ddess would hear her prayers. If there were many ancient powerful ones watching over her now, surely there was a G.o.d of disaster or a G.o.ddess of doomed love. Please. Please bring him back. I will leave him alone, I promise, if you will only allow Alix to come back. Tears filled her eyes. So soon after finding love, she had to give it away, she had to deny it.

They walked all afternoon without stopping to rest. Sanura was exhausted, but she did not complain or ask for even a moment to catch her breath. She knew Trystan well enough to know that such requests would only make him angry, they would only make him walk farther and faster.

Trystan finally stopped when there was no more light to illuminate their path. He didn't mind if she fell, but after he'd taken a couple of painful tumbles over unseen b.u.mps and shallows in the path, he decided it was time to stop for the night.

In one way, Sanura wished they would continue onward, tripping and falling all the way to Arthes. Trystan had said he would take her when night fell. He had promised to hurt her. His body was the same as that of the man she loved, but she did not want him to touch her while Trystan ruled. Still, she braced herself for what was coming as he led her to a small clearing just off the path. He carelessly hitched the other end of the rope that encircled her waist around the low-lying branch of a tree, and then set about collecting wood and building a fire. He ignored her. There were no threats, no jibes, no dark promises as he set about readying the campsite for the night.

Eventually he sat beside the fire and ate a handful of spring berries he had gathered. Then he uncapped the waterskin, which hung from his belt. All afternoon they had pressed forward without stopping for food or water, and Sanura found herself horribly thirsty. She could go without food for a while, if necessary, but she needed water.

It didn't look as if Trystan intended to share. He stared into the fire as he ate and drank, not even acknowledging her existence. Perhaps it was best this way. She'd be parched, but would not have to endure threats or physical attack from her captor.

Relieving as that was, she could not help but wonder why. Trystan had always wanted her. That night in her tent and the morning she had believed it was Alix who seduced her, he had been very open about what he wanted. He had said he would take his time with her tonight, and yet now that they were camped for the night he ignored her.

His natural impulse was to take what he wanted. What stopped him from taking her now? She tried to see, tried to understand, and after a while she did.

He was afraid of what she would see. Not of Alix rising, not of losing control, but of her gift. What did he think she would learn? He was entirely open and honest about his plans and desires, so what did he hide?

Sanura held her breath for a moment. Only Trystan's primitive survival instinct would keep him from the s.e.x he desired. He believed that if they were joined and she saw too much of him, she'd be able to discover his weakness and send him away.

He was afraid of her.

She swallowed hard before forcing herself to speak. "May I have a drink of water?"

Trystan lifted his head and looked at her. His hard face, illuminated by firelight, gave her a start. Those eyes, the slash of a mouth . . . he was a hard man who could hurt her, if he wished. "No," he answered simply.

"I can survive without food for a little while, but I must have water," she explained. She forced herself to look him in the eye. "I'll do anything for water, Trystan. Anything you want."

He c.o.c.ked his head to one side and studied her quizzically.

"If you don't give me water, I won't be able to travel tomorrow. You'll be forced to leave me behind or carry me."

"Or kill you," he said without emotion.

If he'd wanted to kill her, she'd already be dead. "If you let me live, I will make it worth your trouble," she promised. "You know I can."

His eyes narrowed. "That sounds very much like a s.e.xual proposition."

"Perhaps it is."

"What about your precious Alix? I doubt he would approve. "

"I loved Alix, but he's gone. You look like him. You will taste and feel like him. I might pretend that you are him, for a while."

Trystan smiled. "You want my body?"

Again she swallowed hard, and gathered her courage. "Yes."

He walked toward her, waterskin in hand. "Strangely enough, knowing that you want me makes me want you less."

She was not surprised to hear those words. Trystan would be aroused by fear, and to take what was not given would make him feel powerful. He craved power most of all, much more than he craved her.

He carelessly poured water into her mouth. Sanura closed her eyes as she drank, as water spilled down the front of her dress. She would do what had to be done in order to find out how to bring Alix back. She would do anything. Anything at all.

When Trystan pulled the waterskin away from her mouth, she gulped down one last drink and then opened her eyes. She looked straight at him, and she was not afraid. He was a man like any other, driven by darker desires and yet-still just a man. She licked her lips and lifted her bound hands. "Free me, and I'll give you everything you want."

"It isn't necessary for you to be free for me to take what I want," he a.s.sured her.

She let her hands fall. "That's true enough. Is that what you desire, Trystan? I will scream for you, if you'd like. I will pretend to fight."

He smiled. "When I do take you, you won't be pretending. "

Her wrists were tied together by lengths of soft, worn cloth, but they were not bound against her body. She lifted her hands and began to awkwardly unfasten the bodice of her plain dress. The fabric was wet and difficult to work with, but one by one she unfastened the b.u.t.tons and spread the fabric wide. Trystan watched every sway of her fingers, he eyed every inch of skin as it was exposed.

"You kissed my b.r.e.a.s.t.s once, do you remember?" she said. "I was wearing the costume of my home, I was still blue, and you leaned in and touched me with your mouth. You drew the fabric and my nipple into your mouth. Do you remember?" she asked again, hoping to paint a picture in his mind which he could not shake.

"I remember well."

"I liked it," she whispered. "Even though I knew it was you and not Alix, I liked it very much. I almost experienced release simply because you touched me there in a way no other man ever had." Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s were bared to the cool night air, and her nipples hardened and peaked in response to the cold. "Touch me again," she commanded.

If Trystan would touch her just once, he'd be hers to command. He would not be able to stop, once they began. He did not have the control or even the desire to restrain himself when he had something he wanted in his grasp. Once they were joined, she'd be able to see what he hid from her: a way to bring Alix back.

His hand rose slowly, advancing toward her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. That hand stopped before it met flesh.

"You're very devious," he said as his hand fell. "Do you think I don't know what you're after? Do you think I don't know what you want, you witchy woman?" He stepped away from her. "Our time will come, but not tonight."

"Afraid?" she snapped as disappointment welled up inside her.

"Of you?" he laughed. "No."

"Then why won't you touch me? Why don't you take what you want?"

In the firelight, his eyes went hard. "Maybe I liked you better when you were blue," he said. "Maybe I liked you better when you were forbidden. Maybe I don't want you anymore. "

She knew that wasn't true. He wanted her now, but in spite of his primitive instincts he denied himself. There was only one thing which would make him deny his urges. Survival.

Sanura refastened the b.u.t.tons of her bodice. "You don't know what you're denying yourself," she said coolly.

"I do, actually," he said. "I have been inside you before, in case you don't remember."

"I remember," she said without emotion. "I also remember that Alix had to show up to finish the task you started. Why is that, Trystan?" she asked. "Are you damaged as a man? Are you unable to be a proper lover? Are you afraid that if you lie with me, Alix will once again have to rise up in order to do what you can't?"

Perhaps it was not wise to taunt a man as primitive as Trystan, but what choice did she have? If he didn't touch her, she might never discover how to save Alix.

After experiencing a flash of pure rage which Sanura felt even from this distance, Trystan laughed. "Maybe I won't kill you after all," he said. "You and I would make quite the clever couple. We're two of a kind, you know, two sides of the same dark coin."